Ned Flanders Ten Commandments

Maintained by Haynes Lee

  1. Thou shalt not have any gods before Flanders'.
  2. Thou shalt not make onto thee any graven images in the form of tacky Fox merchandise.
  3. Thou shalt not take the name of the diddily-doodily Lord in vain.
  4. Remember the sabbath day by having a barbecue.
  5. Only Maude and Ned are fit parents.
  6. Thou shalt not kill people, animals, insects, or houseplants
  7. Thou shalt not wear any woman's dresses except for your wife's.
  8. Thou shalt not steal cable.
  9. Thou shalt not weasel out of jury duty.
  10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, nor his wife, car, rec room, motor home, leaf-blower, satellite dish, CD changer, camping equipment, pool table, laser printer, Nintendo, tape deck, health plan, videocam, riding lawnmower, barbecue, camera, beer fridge, beer selection, trampoline, spice rack, cell phone, home entertainment system, vcr, cd player, fishing rod, camp stove, sleeping bag, tool box, cd-rom drive, pentium, rollerblades, running shoes, furniture, microwave oven, mountain bike, skis, tennis racket, basketball hoop, power boat, yacht, television, wardrobe, home gym, power tools, grandfather clock, CD collection, caller-ID system, Internet provider (especially if thou art stuck with AOL), golf clubs, gym membership, electric toothbrush, dental plan, frequent flyer points, fax machine, Richard Simmons videotape collection, lawn furniture, cable variety, china ware, china cabinet, stove, refrigerator, convection oven, steak knives, rotor-rooter, septic tank, summer house, personal hygiene, silverware, home renovations, lawn, flower bed, bird house, lawn hammock, university education, graduate degrees, freemason membership, clock radio, ham radio, water pump, video disc player, 8-track player, home alarm system, double pane windows, halogen lamps, rolex watch, summer home, tax bracket, accountant, lawyer, hardwood flooring, plush carpets, pure-bred dog, parrot, commode, tree house, tool shed, jungle gym, garden tools, aquarium, luggage, back pack, exercise equipment, radial tires, treadmill, humidifier, ice cream maker, snow blower, diehard battery, chainsaw, water cooler, water heater, water filter system, humidifier, vacuum cleaner, carpet sweeper, typewriter, clock radio, walk-in closet, coffee maker, ironing board, wardrobe, lazy boy, coffee table, stairmaster, walking weights, china, silverware, jewellery, cake mixer, water sprinkler, air conditioner...

Contributors: Jason Hancock, CJSeeList

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Last updated on May 19, 1999 by Haynes Lee (