[3G03] Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious

Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious       Written by Al Jean & Mike Reiss
                                                      Directed by Chuck Sheetz
Production code: 3G03                       Original Airdate on FOX: 07-Feb-97
Capsule revision A, 12-Jul-97                          (Special Friday airing)

"TV Guide" Synopsis {gb}

When Marge suffers stress-related hair loss, the Simpsons hire nanny Shary Bobbins, who speaks in songs and inspires others to do so. But the Simpsons may prove too much for her.

Title sequence

Blackboard :- I will not hide the teacher's prozac I will not hide the teacher's pro/ at cutoff Lisa's Solo:- Upbeat with a funky rhythm [recycled from 8F11] Couch :- It shows a picture of the couch but no one comes in. Pan to the outside of the house were OFF locked themselves out.

Did you notice...

... at the beginning of the scene where Marge wants a nanny, Maggie runs by wearing only a blue shirt (and no diaper)? ... the real-life celebrities with pictures on the "Before They Were Famous" set appeared on the Simpsons before? ... the Ford/Bush house is across the street (presumably because Ford was in this episode)? ... Maggie Roswell gets a starring credit (joining Pamela Hayden and Tress MacNeille in this elite group)? Dale G. Abersold: ... this is the first episode written by Jean & Reiss (not counting their "story" credit in "'Round Springfield" [2F31]) since the "Clown Without Pity" segment of Treehouse of Horror III? ... this is the first episode ever premiered on a Friday (in the U.S., at least?) Vince Chan: ... the hole in chief Wiggum's sock? ... Marge gets through the doorway with an umbrella in her hair? Timothy Goddard: ... people have cans and bottles at the Krusty Komedy Klassic? ... the Simpsons have a purple lampshade? ... Marge has a heck of a lot of curlers? ... Homer gets turned on by watching women's volleyball? ... Dr. Hibbert uses a tongue depressor to examine Marge's hair? ... Lisa helps to clean up Bart's room? ... the three kids are all sleeping in Lisa's bed? ... Barney hangs out at the Simpsons' house? Don Del Grande: ... the towers of SNPP are emitting soot rather than steam, like nuclear plant towers are supposed to do? ... not only do they eat in front of the TV (something they rarely do), they do it twice? ... Rainier Wolfcastle's commercial is for "Fritz Schnackenbfefferhausen"? ... after Kearney leaves, Marge's hair no longer has holes? ... Bart and Lisa's boom box has buttons labelled "Cue" and "Rev" (Review) rather than "FF" and "Rew", and the AM Dial goes up to 1700? ... two things happen in this episode that haven't happened in a while - Bart says "Eat My Shorts" and Homer chokes Bart? ... when Homer chokes Bart, Bart chokes Homer back? ... the chair in the living room has no legs? Jason Hancock: ... Homer drinks Duff beer from a can in the beginning? ... Bart's stereo is tuned to either 1300 AM or 104 FM? ... Homer drinks a quart of milk? ... the bar in the snowglobe looks just like Moe's? ... Barney wears a Hawaiian shirt when he's in OFF's house? Diego Kontarovsky: ... 11 beers appear in the episode, and only one of them is in a can? ... both bedroom scenes show the clock on Homer's nightstand at the same time (either 12:05 or 1:00)? ... whenever Shary Bobbins sings to the kids, Homer and Marge are standing there at the end? Ondre Lombard: ... this is the first time since November, 1992 that two new episodes have aired in the same week? ... the words "KKK" are white? ... when 3G03 was produced, The Simpsons was on up against Mad About You, the show Krusty parodies terribly? ... Homer knows what a babushka is? ... Homer's two hair strands stand up straight and jitter when he sees Marge's fading hair? ... Homer has to pay to roleplay the Civil War at Moe's? ... Carl's eyes are crossed at Moe's? ... Homer shouts at Mrs. Pennyfeather "Give me those" in reference to fake breasts? ... Homer scares away a sitter/nanny this time instead of Bart? ... both nanny applicants have Penny in their name? ... Homer doesn't remember Kearney as the kid who rudely demanded his candy in 8F02? ... Kearney in a G-rated manner calls Marge a "bitch"? ... Lisa doesn't cut a corner and actually puts Bart's toys where they belong, in the toy chest? ... "Bleedin' Gums" Murphy's picture on the set of "Before They Were Famous?" ... the family is dressed formally for dinner for no reason at all? ... Lisa and Bart are oft garbed in formal clothes just like the children in "Mary Poppins?" ... Bart would rather throw cupcakes on his wall than watch Itchy and Scratchy with Lisa? ... Santa's Little Helper isn't seen throughout the entire story, but Snowball II is? Dallas Pesola: ... how much Marge looks like Lisa when she imagines herself with "Homer hair"? ... after saying "...I never felt so alive!", Grandpa falls asleep and snores as he is lifted away by the umbrella? Benjamin J. Robinson: ... when she lets it down, Marge's hair ends at about her knee? ... how satisfied Lisa looks when Homer grabs the dollar from Bart?

Voice credits {dga}

- Starring - Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Krusty, Grampa, Gerald Ford, Barney, Willie, Barney Fife, Itchy, Quentin Tarantino) - Julie Kavner (Marge) - Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Mrs. Periwinkle, Kearney, Nelson) - Yeardley Smith (Lisa) - Hank Azaria (Moe, Apu, Wiggum, Snake, "Before They Were Famous" Announcer, young Wolfcastle, Bronson, Scratchy) - Harry Shearer ("KKK" Announcer, Hibbert, Ned, Skinner, Burns, Smithers) - Starring - Maggie Roswell (Shary Bobbins, Nurse, Mrs. Pennyfeather) - Also Starring - Pamela Hayden (Jimbo)

Movie (and other) references

+ "Mary Poppins" {dk} [I had to strip down a bit, as almost every detail was lifted from Mary Poppins --ed] - Jane and Michael Bank suggest a nanny through a song; father interrupts, mother scolds him - after interviewing candidates, none is fit for the job - Mary Poppins makes her entrance, coughing over a chimney - Mary uses the handle of her umbrella to pull the doorbell rope - Mr. Banks interviews Mary, who claims to be "practically perfect in every way" - Mary slides up the banister, to the kids' amazement - Mary puts up a song when cleaning the kids' room - Mary sings with her counterpart as a mirror reflection - Mary and the kids take a walk in the park - they stumble across Bert, a one-man musical band, who concludes his act by smacking his face with a cymbal, under the watchful eye of a constable - Bert immediately recognizes Mary by her shadow - Mary and the kids fly kites at the park - Mary Poppins is said to be "ever so much fun" - Mary changes a greedy bank owner - "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" is used - Mary puts the kids to bed and sings about a beggar asking for money - Mary has a tea party on the ceiling - Mr. Banks sings about his great life + Mary Poppins songs {jk} - "A Spoonful of Sugar" "Cut Every Corner" "Feed the Birds Tuppence a Bag" "A Boozehound Named Barney" + The Ku Klux Klan - The unfortunate initials of the Krusty Komedy Klassics + David Letterman's "Stupid Pet Tricks" - Krusty's show features "Dumb Pet Tricks" + "Mad About You", "NYPD Blue" - "Mad About Shoe", "NYPD Shoe" + The musical "Hair" - the title song is played (although it's the Cowsills version, and not the original cast) ~ Burnside (Street from Groening's old neighborhood) {dk} - Homer's part at Moe's Tavern + "Steamboat Willie" - Homer's black-and-white-cartoon-playing-"Turkey-In-The-Straw" brain resembled Mickey's cow's rendition + Mickey Mouse/Donald Duck, two Disney cartoon characters - Shary mentions Rickey Rouse & Monald Muck as original creations + "Speed", 1994 Blockbuster - "Pop quiz, hot shot [...] What do you do? What DO you do?" + "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves" {gb} - Shary kisses Nelson just like Snow White kisses Grumpy (and they have a similar reaction) + "Flashdance" - Willie sings "Maniac" and dumps water onto his head like the main character in the movie (or rather, her dance double) + "Oliver Twist" / "Oliver!" - selling a kid in a 19th-century London setting + "A Christmas Carol" {gb} - Burns' "Bah, humbug" "Love, American Style" {gb} - the heart-shaped frame closing in after the Barney/Moe song + "Before They Were Stars" - OFF watches "Before They Were Famous" on television "The Critic" {bjr} - the set of "Before They Were Famous" resembles Jay Sherman's movie reviewing set + The Oscar Meyer commercial - my bologna has a first name, it's ... + "The Sound of Music" - Shary mutters, "Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So..." while getting Homer a beer + "The Andy Griffith Show" - A rather warped version of it appears + "Death Wish" {gb} - In the Griffith parody, Charles Bronson plays a part similar to his famous vigilante character in this movie + "Reservoir Dogs", movie by Quentin Tarantino - The I&S title was "Reservoir Cats" and the special guest director was Quentin Tarantino - The warehouse setting was a perfect replica of that in the movie - Mr.Blonde (Itchy) tortures Marvin Nash (Scratchy) while dancing to "Stuck in the Middle With You." - Scratchy is tied up in a chair with duct tape over his mouth - Itchy pours gasoline on Scratchy, then cuts his ear off (as the camera pans off to the left) + "Pulp Fiction" - Itchy and Scratchy are dressed like Vince and Jules - They dance like Vince and Mia do at Jackrabbit Slim's in the end of the cartoon - The song playing is "Miserlou", Pulp Fiction's opening theme + "Stuck in the Middle With You" by Stealer's Wheel {hl} "Miserlou" by Dick Dale {dp2} - both are played in "Reservoir Cats" + "Margaritaville", by Jimmy Buffet - Shary and Barney sing it - Barney is dressed like Buffet, in a tacky Hawaiian shirt {gb}

Previous episode references

- Animal maulings on the Krusty Show {hl} - [9F05] Condor crushes Krusty's skull with its claws. Alaskan timberwolf escapes - [9F07] Krusty mauled by tigers on "Carnival of the Stars" - [1F21] Sideshow Mel attacked by orchestra of monkeys - [3G03] Krusty bitten in nose by dog during "stupid pet tricks" - Krusty's ripped off bits {ol} - [9F19] "If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!" - [2F12] Krusty steals the "Seven Words You Can't Say on TV" bit from George Carlin - [2F16] Krusty steals the line "I feel about as low as Madonna when she found out she missed Tailhook" from "Pardon My Zinger" - [4F07] Krusty makes note to steal Ned's line "The last case you got to the bottom of was a case of mallowmars" - [3G03] Ripping off "Stupid Pet Tricks" from David Letterman, renaming it "Dumb Pet Tricks" - Homer's simpleton thoughts {ol} - [8F09] Thinks about the Land of Chocolate - [1F03] Thinks "ballet" is a circus with a bear riding a cart and temporarily slips away from reality - [1F19] Thinking of the "Meow Mix" commercial song - [2F31] Thinks about monkeys doing calculus - [3F15] Hums "Rock N Roll Part Two" during Selma's wedding in his head - Homer being referred to as an ape {ol} - [7G01] By the "Rubber Baby Buggy Bumper Babysitting Service" lady - [7G02] Bart calls him a "Kwyjibo," a species belonging to the ape family - [7G09] Homer is "accidentally" mistaken for Bigfoot - [7F19] Lisa calls him a baboon - [1992 calendar] Marge has a picture of herself as a skinhead - [7F09], [9F03] Itchy doesn't actually kill Scratchy; they both kill someone else {np} - [7F22], [8F11], [4F04] The entire family eats dinner at the TV with TV dinners/trays {ol} - [8F02] The curtains catch on fire {ol} - [8F02], [8F14] Bart and Lisa sleeping in the same bed {ddg} - [8F03] Marge says "I heard that" {hl} - [8F11] The family eating in front of the TV sets {ddg} - [8F14] Barney stays at OFFs {ljs} - [8F14] Bart making faces (cf. Krusty making faces) {ol} - [8F14] The family overworks Marge {ol} - [8F17] Bart offers an unhelpful idea for being helpful (reading comic books then putting them back, forgoing baths) {ol} - [8F18] An episode with a lot of musical numbers {ol} - [8F24] Marge in the shower {ol} - [9F03] Bart systematically pounding mustard packets {hl} - [9F03] I&S chop off Hitler's head {hl} - [9F03] New episode that aired on a special day during the same week as another new episode {ol} - [9F04] Homer sings the "Oscar Meyer" jingle to different words (Rainier singing the jingle with different words) {ol} - [9F07] "So long Superman!" - [9F08] Bart banging on a pan (cf. Lisa banging on a pan) {ol} - [9F08] Lisa is bald (Marge imagines herself bald) {ol} - [9F12] "The Big Ear Family" is as cheesy as "Mad About Shoe," both coincidentally starring Krusty {ol} - [9F18] "Itchy and Scratchy" has a guest director {mr} - [9F20] A hair spotted in food Marge serves (according to Maude Flanders) {ol} - [9F20] Sweeping things under the rug and out of the way to cut corners {ol} - [9F21] Barney's spectacular voice - [1F10] Apu selling expired food from the 80's {ljs} - [1F10] Apu's crusty hot dog {jp} - [1F15] "D'oh - Re - Mi" {ddg} - [1F21] Bart and Lisa lead a sing-a-long {ljs} - [2F04] "Miserlou" (or reasonable facsimile thereof) plays {np} - [2F04] Bart playing cowboys and Indians (with Milhouse) {ol} - [2F07] Homer and Marge want to snuggle, but romances are thwarted {ol} - [2F09] Civil War recreation {dga} - [2F11] Pie-eyed cartoon characters parodied {ol} - [2F17], [4F02], [4F06] OFF gives away "Starring" credits {ljs} - [2F18] Musical episode that spoofs Disney {ol} - [2F19] Doing half-assed work "is the American way" {jh} - [2F19] Marge speaks to Kearney {ol} - [2F31] Barney laying outside Moe's tavern after he admits his alcoholism {ljs} - [2F31] Charles Bronson appears {hl} - [2F31] The Oscar Meyer Weiner song is played {ljs} - [2F32] The last time the entire opening was used {ljs} - [3F01] Homer being "Father of the Year" mentioned {jh} - [3F02], [3F24] Carl at Moe's {ol} - [3F06] The last time Homer gave Bart his trademark strangling {ol} - [3F09] Gerald Ford appears - [3F11] Reference to "NYPD Blue" {dga} - [3F12] Reference to "Mad About You" - [3F15] Pictures of former "Simpsons" guest stars used to decorate a set. {bjr} - [3F18] "Pulp Fiction" is spoofed - [4F02] The "Space Mutants" doll on Bart's dresser {jh}

Freeze frame fun

Stuff thrown at Krusty {dk}

   - For KKK sign: tomato, wadded piece of paper, sandwich, hot dog,
         empty can, orange, another empty can, bottle
   - For shoe sketch: a shoe (how ironic), brick, tomato, bottle, wadded
          piece of paper.

At the church {jh}

   Front row:  Kent Brockman, Larry, Ms. Hoover
   Second row:  Rod Flanders, Todd Flanders, Mrs. Glick, Carl
   Third row:  Jackie Bouvier, Bart, Lisa, Homer, Marge (holding
      Maggie), Captain McAllister
   Fourth row:  Luanne, Milhouse, and Kirk Van Houten; Grampa; Jasper
      (sleeping); Frink
   Fifth row:  Mrs. Wiggum, Ralph Wiggum, Superintendent Chalmers, Agnes
      and Seymour Skinner
   Sixth row:  Ruth Powers, Laura Powers(?), Lunch Lady Doris, Moe, Mrs.

Pictures on "Before They Were Famous"

         Brooke          Dennis       Liz
         Shields         Franz       Taylor

      Bleeding Gums    Krusty the    Barry
         Murphy          Clown       White

   [as with 3F15, these are all people who've been on "The Simpsons"
   before -- {bjr}]

- Overseas Animation: Anivision, J.C. Park  {ddg}

Animation, continuity, and other goofs

= During the couch scene, the family is shown outside, while during the intro, we see Homer running through the garage and into the house. {vc} = On the couch scene, Marge looks at her wrist, even though she's not wearing a watch. {dk} * If it's called "Krusty's Komedy Klassics", how come it's all new material? {ljs} = When Grampa grabs the remote, it's upside down on the next shot. {dk} - Maggie's clothing is a much lighter shade of blue than normal when Marge sets her down to get Bart a glass of milk. {tg2} = The tray with the bottle and bowl disappears when Marge gets Bart his milk, but reappears when Marge says "excuse me" and leaves the room. {tg2} - When Marge sees Dr. Hibbert about her hair loss, the bottom hole of her hair is lower than where her head would end. - There are no hinges on the door in Dr. Hibbert's office. {dk} = When Shary Bobbins arrives, the door is opened a lot wider from the inside than one might assume from the previous outside view. {dk} = Snake's hair is blue when he holds up Hans Moleman in the background of the scene with Chief Wiggum. {tg2} - When singing with the milk carton, Apu's vest has buttonholes, but no buttons. {dk} + Apu's hot dogs were said to be "meat" even though he switched to tofu dogs in episode 3F03 and is himself a vegetarian. {bb} = Marge gets the beach umbrella out of thin air. {ol} * Lisa's bed isn't big enough for her, Bart, and Maggie to sleep in (even if it is a good idea for Bart and Lisa to sleep in the same bed, which I question). {ddg} = When we begin to see the Barney snow globe, he's on the sidewalk, instead of on the street, like the rest of the entire scene. {dk} = When Sherry Bobbins shakes the snow dome (in the beginning of the song about Barney the booze-hound), the windows in Moe's are green; in the close-up, the windows have green and orange diamonds. {gg} * Barney sings about wanting brandy and a snifter of wine. Brandy is served in a snifter, not wine. {dp2} = When Shary Bobbins leaves, everybody is wearing their formal outfits, yet when she walks back in, Maggie and Marge are wear their normal clothes. {ljs} * Ranier Wolfcastle's Austrian commercial should be in German, not English, yet it's clearly not dubbed. {ddg} + The cap on Bart's bed as Bart is throwing cupcakes on the wall is blue, but Bart's cap is always red. {ol} + It seems Bart's overcome his fear of cupcakes from [9F14]. = When Bart is whipping cupcakes in his room, cupcakes appear and disappear from the wall and the box. = The shelves above Bart's bed which were visible in the scene where SB and the kids were cleaning his room is nowhere to be found later in the episode, when Bart is throwing cupcakes onto the wall. {tg2} = On the staircase, Bart pulls the cupcake out of nowhere. = Where did Barney and all the empty Duff bottles go, when OFF comes into the front room to console Sherry? {dp2} = Shary suddenly goes out of her maid uniform into her formal dress. {ol} + Bart sings about leaving when he can steal a car. Doesn't he recall 3F17? {dk} + The Simpsons don't have a tree in front of the house. {ol}


Dale G. Abersold: What was this episode in aid of? Taking the entire cast of the Simpsons out of character in order to produce a half-assed version of Mary Poppins? Apparently Jean and Reiss still haven't recovered from "The Critic" (i.e., gratuitous pop-culture references). The episode was partly redeemed by the final three minutes, and several isolated gags, but was still subpar. (C-) Greg Bigoni: Even though the show is getting weirder, it's nice to see that it's no longer getting worse (as the last few eps have proven). This definitely seemed to be more in the style of "The Critic," as most of the references were gratuitous, but I didn't care... I was ROTFLOL at all of them, especially the Tarantino-esque I&S cartoon. It had a good role for Barney, some amusing songs, another "HAIR" reference, a consistent story, good character work, and a nicely cynical ending. What else do you need? However, I'm only giving it a B because the "Marge-loses-her-hair" sequence was a bit creepy. Jennifer M. Blaske: I was really enjoying the episode at one point, but by the end I wasn't crazy about it. I enjoy Mary Poppins and thought the song were parodies were fun, particularly Ms. Smith's singing, which is always done well. But by Barney and Moe's song, I started thinking, "Okay, let's move on to something else..." This will sound funny, but frankly I was a little confused about Shary Bobbins character: She teaches the family how to "do a half-assed job," but then leaves because she finds them too uncouth. Huh? And that was the number one thing I disliked: a good Simpsons episode will end with the tone that they are fairly decent, not them bragging about what a crappy family they are. (B-) Vince Chan: The all time classic Simpsons parody episode! From Mary Poppins to Speed this episode has it all! Another great reserved episode that proved The Simpsons still had a few tricks under their sleeves. I cracked up so many times during this episode! I can't remeber the last time I did. Oh wait, I can. (A+) Chris Courtois: Despite the fact that "Simpsoncalifrag..."'s sole reason to exist was as a "Critic"-esque spoof of "Mary Poppins", the episode still managed to be funny to someone not so familiar with the source material. I don't think I've seen "Mary Poppins" since I was about 5, but I still found the episode enjoyable. Unfortunately, you still have to know it's a parody for the show to work. Not the best extended parody episode (that would still be "Cape Feare"), but the structure of parodying a single source is much less irritating than the Season 6 style of cramming in as many non-sequiter references. (B+) Brett Davinger: Not only the best episode of the season but one of the top ten episodes of all time. This shows The Simpsons and writers in the best of their form as they take on Mary Poppins with success. With Groundskeeper Willy as Burt and the best original songs ever on the series, this is a soon to be classic. And who can forget the great parody of Reservior Dogs. (A+) Timothy Goddard: I was disappointed with this episode. The Mary Poppins song spoofs weren't as sharp as they could have been, and the entire subplot with Marge's hair loss was idiotic. Not even the "Hair" musical bit made me really laugh. The show needs Phil Hartman back, and soon. (C-) Jason Hancock: This was a rather bumpy episode that had its share of moments. I loved Willie's song, the I&S cartoon, and young McBain's commercial rendition, but there were several slow stretches in between. (B-) Ryan Johnson: I walked out of the room during Bart and Lisa's musical number. ugh The Simpsons Sing the Blues was bad enough, they don't need to rehash it here. After this sour note it was actually pretty good. After this there were only three little moments that I didn't like. The nanny having a beer with barney, the kids sleeping with each other (the "just for a movie reference" explanation doesn't work for me) and the nanny getting sucked into the jet. This kind of ending was totally uncalled for and in very, very poor taste. Aside from this the "half-assed" musical number and the "mad about shoe" thing make up for a few blunders. (B-) Diego Kontarovsky: It's a big step up from their latest tripe (as Lisa would put it -- see 3F03) and it made me laugh. I was surprised to see nobody took up the oportunity for any references to Bart wanting to be a chimney sweep or any magic handbag jokes from which Mary Poppins pulled out so many things. But, overall, good episode. I loved Barney's "Goodbye, Superman!" line. (A-) Ondre Lombard: It's hard to believe this one is in any way canonical, and I hate when The Simpsons venture off into plotlines that milk its animation medium bone dry. But there were some good laughs in Act One (Krusty, Marge as Homer, the Turkey in the Straw bit), but it was a bit too musical. I was really wanting to shout "Make it Stop!" at one point. I just don't buy Lisa and Marge being apathetic. They're the glue that keeps the family in order, and they're no different than the Bundys if everyone doesn't care. The ending is kind of dark and I don't find it funny. Nearly a clanger, but jolly enough to avoid it. (C) Nate Patrin: Hmmm. I thought this was going to be one incredibly pathetic episode, but I thought wrong. Sure, it wasn't the best, but any episode with Itchy and Scratchy doing a take-off of "Resevoir Dogs" complete with Quentin Tarantino giving a lecture on media violence, Groundskeeper Willy singing "Maniac", a couch scene that had me ROTFL, Bart chuckin' cupcakes... The songs were annoying, but mostly funny. Yeah, the destination was pretty lame, but I liked the stops along the ride. (C+) Werner Peeters: Finally another episode with plenty of songs, like good old [8F18] or [9F21]. The makers have apparently put lots of effort in the 3G-series of episodes. These songs are pure gems, esp. doing a half-assed job, the drunk in the gutter and the end song: it's nice to see the good old dysfunctional family again. The scenes about Marge losing her hair in the beginning lasted a bit too long, yet overall this episode was great. Some of the highlights: all jokes involving Grampa (including him hanging in a tree at the end), Bart throwing cupcakes at the wall and of course Reservoir Cats! (A-) Mark Aaron Richey: What in the world prompted the writing staff to do an entire-episode parody of a 30-year-old musical (granted, one that just about everybody has seen)? Some good song parodies, but the concept had worn out it's welcome halfway through Act II. Still, it was nice to see the full opening, and a terrific couch gag, plus the hysterical "news" brief halfway though the show about OFF breaking "The Flintstones" record (between this and Fox News Channel promoting the Blues Brothers at the Super Bowl, is it any wonder that Time Warner doesn't want to carry FNC?). Good work by Maggie Roswell. (C) Benjamin J. Robinson: A clever take-off of "Mary Poppins," this episode boasts some good songs (lyric-wise, at least) and a look at the Simpsons' dysfunctional dynamics. Some lulls, awkward shifts in tone, and ho-hum music detract a little from the experience. Pretty good handling of the tricky "musical" form, though. (B) Matt Rose: I was sort of apprehensive about this one because of all the musical numbers that were going to happen but I was pleasantly surprised and a big way. I was too busy laughing in between the songs to care. I had been complaining all season about the lack of good dialogue and one-liners which made the show what it always was and they listened once again. The funniest Grandpa Simpson has ever been, I think. And the full opening was shown. Once again my faith has been restored. They've still got it, and always will. (A) Damien Ryall: It's great to see that once in a while the show's writers can quit talking about marital stress, the environment, Lisa's annoying pompuossness, and 'Bart does whatever', and actually write something funny! The songs were well parodied, as was the character herself, and there were very few, if any, plotty parts. The stroll through the park and Abe flying away on the umbrella were great, and the scene where Marge pictures herself with Homer's hairdo was classic. Came very close to a sappy and stupid ending (like we saw in all the first-second season episodes) but a jet plane quickly took all that away. I don't want episodes that make you think, I just want to be entertained. This was a great episode! (A) Yours Truly: As fate put it, I couldn't watch the episode live, and had to tape it; during any subsequent viewing, my thumb just ached for the "forward" button, which speaks in volume. It's not that I dislike music in the Simpsons universe (I rather liked 8F18, 8F19, and half of "Sing the Blues"), but I find myself uncomfortable around musical numbers, where people start singing out of the blue for no other apparent reason than to make sure it's a real musical number. So, when facing song after song of "we're bad, we're rad, we're a mess and we love it", I grabbed whatever humor was left, silently waiting for the real Simpson family to be back next week. (C-) AVERAGE GRADE: B (2.98) NIELSEN RATING: ? (Ranked 21th out of 112) {ol}

Comments and other observations

There's grunt and grunt

One of the most frequent questions from alt.tv.simpsons newcomers is how
   to spell Homer's renowned expression. Although the generally accepted
   spelling is "D'oh!", many sources feature different versions,
   including closed captioning's own "D-oh!"

   But the funniest part is, if you ever looked at a Simpsons script,
   all you would see are mentions of "annoyed grunts" over and over.
   When the series started, Matt and the boys let Dan Castellaneta
   choose an interpretation for the "(Annoyed Grunt)" indicator; since
   then, Homer's "D'oh!" has always been referred to in that fashion.
   (Though we know through 3F24 and 3G01 that the writers acknowledge
   the usual spelling.)

   All of this makes this episode's official title:
   "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious". Some TV Guides
   actually printed this version in their listings; Robert Berry also
   notes that it was featured in the DSS onscreen program guide.

Old Joke Department

Dale G. Abersold:  Grampa's predicament with the "old-fashioned phone"
   is a reference to a classic joke: Guy goes to a doctor with two
   horribly burnt ears.  The doctor asks him how it happened, so the guy
   says "Well, I was doing the ironing when the phone rang, so I picked
   up the iron instead of the phone, and burnt my ear."  The doctor
   asks, "What happened to the other one, then?" The guy says, "Wouldn't
   you know it, the joker called me right back!"  Rim shot.

Homer's source of "mature" entertainment

Jason Hancock:  ESPN is cable TV's premier sports network.  Founded in
   1979 as the world's first 24-hour sports network, it is known for
   showing obscure sports, like women's volleyball, to fill holes in its
   schedule.  But it also airs major sports like NFL and college
   football, major league baseball, college basketball, and NHL hockey
   as well as the popular "SportsCenter" sports newscasts.

Those Greeks have words for everything!

Rocci Cirone:  Homer's fetish with women (Marge, in this case, of
   course) who have beach umbrellas stuck in their hair could easily be
   labeled as aberrant sexual behavior. Psychologists call this
   particular fetish "Aigialoheliokuklophilia" - (very) rough Greek for
   the love of "beach sun shields."

Before They Were Famous

Ondre Lombard:  "Before They Were Famous" is a clear parody of the
   series about small roles and things celebrities did before they
   became stars, hosted by Scott Baio.  It began as specials on ABC, all
   of which usually did well in the ratings.  ABC decided to make the
   show weekly and put it up against The Single Guy in the winter of
   1995.  In the fall, the show was cancelled. Rainier Wolfcastle in a
   commercial parodying the Oscar Meyer jingle is more funny because
   it's true parody.  A lot of stars are showcased in a commercial for
   Oscar Meyer weiners.

Fixing Emmett

Steve Frayne:  Charles Bronson is a famous actor who had made about 38
   movies in his career.  His persona has been long been associated with
   killing people, often as a police officer, and usually by shooting
   them. He's usually on the good side of the law as seen in this
   episode, but he always has a tendency to go way to far.  In "10 to
   Midnight" as a cop, he was overly ambitious about locking up a
   murder.  He had to be restrained from beating the man, and then when
   lack of evidence crept up on Bronson, he planted blood in order to
   convict the killer.  When forced to fess up, he shot the killer
   square in the head.  In "The Stone Killer" he is again an ambitious
   cop who does whatever's necessary to rid the city of organized crime,
   including shoot several people.  He's most famous though for his
   "DeathWish" quintilogy in which he is a vigilante always seeking
   revenge.  He gets very blatant in his killing of criminals as his
   walking out the door flagrantly brandishing his huge hand gun
   suggests. It's understandable that Barney Fife (Don Knotts) would be
   so shocked when the easygoing Andy Griffith was replaced with such a
   cold-hearted brute.

A short rant

Benjamin J. Robinson:  Thanks so much for talking of the ending
   credits, Fox.  Now, I'll get to hear your promotion for the cinematic
   masterpiece "True Lies" over and over again.  What a tremendous
   improvement over hearing the "Mary Poppins" variation of the closing
   music!  It's decisions like that that makes Fox the fourth-largest
   network in the United States.

An ode to detail

Robert Berry:  I love it when the writers and animators pay attention to
   detail; it makes the episodes so much more rich and enjoyable, and
   even more fun to watch repeatedly.

   An example: during the scene where Marge is imagining herself with
   Homer's hair, watch her face instead of the thought balloon.  A full
   second or so before she starts sobbing, her lip starts trembling,
   capturing perfectly the feeling of finally "losing it" that Marge is
   going through at that moment.

   Another: listen to Maggie's footsteps as she's running through the
   house without a diaper.  We hear thump-thump-thump until she crosses
   from the carpeted TV room into the kitchen, and then the
   slap-slap-slap of bare feet on vinyl flooring.  That's attention to

   And watch Maggie throughout the episode, particularly during the
   final musical number.  She tries so hard to go along with all the
   dance moves, but that darned gravity thing keeps interfering.

All the lyrics, all the time

Dominik Halas:  Well, here they are: the lyrics to all the songs from
   3G03.  It took me an hour to copy these down, people.  I broke my
   back for you on this one!  My back!  I - ah, no one cares.

Minimum Wage Nanny

             Lisa: If you wish to be our sitter,
                   Please be sweet and never bitter.
                   Help us with math and book reports,
             Bart: Might I add - eat my shorts!

             Lisa: Bart!
             Bart: Just cuttin' through the treacle.

             Lisa: If Maggie's fussy, don't avoid her,
             Bart: Let me get away with moider!
             Lisa: Teach us songs and magic tricks,
            Homer: Might I add - no fat chicks!

            Marge: Homer!

             Lisa: The nanny we want is kindly and sage,
            Homer: And one who will work for minimum wage.
             Lisa: Hurry nanny, things are grim,

           Grampa: I'll do it!

      Bart & Lisa: Anyone but him.

Cut Every Corner

             Shary: If there's a task that must be done,
                    Don't turn your tail and run,
                    Don't pout, don't sob,
                    Just do a half-assed job!

                    If... you... cut every corner
                    It is really not so bad,
                    Everybody does it,
                    Even mom and dad.
                    If nobody sees it,
                    Then nobody gets mad,
              Bart: It's the American way!

             Shary: The policeman on the beat
                    Needs some time to rest his feet.
            Wiggum: Fighting crime is not my cup of tea!
             Shary: And the clerk who runs the store
                    Can charge a little more
                    For meat!
               Apu: For meat!
             Shary: And milk!
               Apu: And milk!
              Both: From 1984!

             Shary: If... you... cut every corner,
                    You'll have more time for play,
       Shary & OFF: It's the American waaaaay!

A Boozehound Named Barney

          Shary: In front of a tavern,
                 Flat on his face,
                 A boozehound named Barney
                 Is pleading his case.

         Barney: Buy me a beer,
                 Two bucks a glass.
                 Come on, help me,
                 I'm freezing my ass.

                 Buy me brandy,
                 A snifter of wine.
                 Who am I kidding?
                 I'll drink turpentine.

            Moe: Move it, ya drunk,
                 Or I'll blast your rear end.
         Barney: I found two bucks!
            Moe: Then come in, my friend!

          Shary: And so, let us leave
                 On this heartwarming scene.
           Bart: Can I be a boozehound?
          Homer: Not till you're fifteen.

Happy With Things The Way They Are

              Homer: Around the house, I never lift a finger,
                     As a husband and a father, I'm sub-par.
                     I'd rather drink a beer
                     Than win father of the year,
                     I'm happy with things the way they are.

               Lisa: I'm getting used to never getting noticed,
               Bart: I'm stuck here till I can steal a car.
              Marge: The house is still a mess,
                     And I'm going bald from stress,
       Marge & Kids: But we're happy, just the way we are.

                Ned: They're not perfect,
                     But the Lord says "Love thy neighbour."
              Homer: Shut up, Flanders.
                Ned: Okely-dokely-do.
              Shary: Don't think it's sour grapes,
                     But you're all a bunch of apes,
                     And so I must be leaving you!

Loose Ends

Don Del Grande:  There was supposed to be a variation on "Chim-Chim-
   Chiree" with Patty & Selma

Benjamin J. Robinson:  Bart complains that "These specials get worse
   every year."  Well, this is a special episode, on a special night...

Benjamin J. Robinson:  Former President Gerald Ford was a Boy Scout and
   did appear in a commercial promoting the Boy Scouts of America.

Benjamin J. Robinson:  Guy Fawkes tried to blow up the Parliament
   building in the 1600's but failed.  The British still commemorate
   this close call.  The informal word "guy," for a man, actually came
   from this Guy.

Benjamin J. Robinson:  "The Andy Griffith Show" ran in the early sixties
   and featured Andy Griffith as a friendly small-town sheriff.  Charles
   Bronson, known for his tough-cop "Death Wish" movies, might be the
   exact opposite type of police officer.  (Don Knotts played bumbling
   Deputy Fife, who appears in the clip.)

Benjamin J. Robinson:  Quentin Tarantino directed "Reservoir Dogs" and
   "Pulp Fiction." He is almost as reference-mad as the producers of
   "The Simpsons," so mentioning him seems apropos.

Ryan Johnson:  Anyone notice that in the Fox commercial for the next
   episode (4F12), Lisa's line "the Fox network has sunk to a new low"
   had the word "Fox" cut out?  I wonder why =)

Quotes and Scene Summary {ol} {dga}

OFF is watching TV. Announcer: It's the Krusty Komedy Klassic! Krusty: Hey, hey! It's great to be back at the Apollo Theater, and... [notices the letters behind him] K-K-K? That's not good... -- "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" The audience seems to agree, as people start throwing food items. Krusty does a pretty good job at dodging them at first, but beer cans and bottles quickly get the upper hand. In front of the tube, the family is eating on TV trays, while Krusty attempts to savior his program. Now I'd like to introduce a new feature never before seen on T.V. -- Dumb Pet Tricks! -- Krusty steals another bit, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Krusty: Here's a dog that's been trained to catch this red rubber ball. [throws the ball] [the dog, of course, goes for Krusty's clown nose] Ow! Somebody shoot it! Somebody shoot it! -- "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Bart remarks that the Krusty specials are getting worse every year. Lisa searches for the remote, but it's mysteriously disappeared... Grampa: [dials the remote] Hello?? Hello?? Stupid cordless phone! I'll try the old fashioned model. [speaks into an iron] Ahh, that's better. How ya doin', Gertie? -- Any faxes on the waffle iron?, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Meanwhile, back on the tube... Krusty: And now, our parody of "Mad About You" entitled "Mad About Shoe." [Krusty lies in a bed with a giant piece of footwear] Give me a kiss, baby. No tongue! [audience members boo and throw things] Urgh. You're not going to like our "NYPD Shoe" sketch. It's pretty much the same thing. -- Except we see him nude, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Bart: Ma, could you get me some milk? Marge: [feeding Maggie] Can't you get it yourself? Bart: No, that's okay. I'll just go without liquid. [acts as if he desperately needs something to drink] Marge: Oh, all right, all right! I'll get your milk. [goes into the kitchen] Bart: Thank you. Marge: [from the kitchen] Does anyone else want anything while I'm up? All: No. [Marge returns with Bart's glass of milk] Homer: Marge, get me a beer. Marge: Oooh! -- Now who didn't see that coming?, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Lisa: Uh, Mom? Marge: [annoyed] What?! Lisa: Um, there's a hair in my soup. But I'll just eat around it. Marge: What kind of hair? Lisa: Well, it's blue. [produces it] Six feet long. Homer+Bart: Eww! -- I wonder whose it is?, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Marge correctly guesses that the hair belongs to her, and leaves, almost in tears. Your mother seems really upset about something. I better go have a talk with her -- during the commercial. -- Homer, always the supportive husband, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Back to the show... Krusty: Now, let's hear it for a great American. Former President Gerald Ford. Ford: Thank you, Krusty, for inviting me. Krusty: Well, all the good presidents turned us down. Ford: Oh. Well, I'd like to talk about a subject that is very important to me. [Krusty makes faces in the background as Ford continues speaking] The Boy Scouts of America have molded men for over a hundred years and... [Ford notices Krusty's antics] What are you... Krusty: Uh, how's your wife, Nancy? Ford: Betty. Krusty: Who cares? -- The Nancy Ford Clinic?, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Later, Homer, lying in bed, speaks in seductive tones to his wife. Oh, Marge, I just had a couple of beers. -- From Romeo to Homer, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" He is shocked out of his ardor, however, as he accidentally pulls out a handful of her bouffant. Whence follows a brief musical interlude, played on the song "Hair". While showering, she finds a mess of her hair in the small puddle on the floor of the shower. During dinner, Snowball II coughs up a huge hairball belonging to Marge. While blowdrying, the hair-dryer blows hair out of her tall bouffant, producing a hole. While Milhouse plays cowboys and Indians with Bart, a tumbleweed of Marge's hair blows by. In church, Marge's hair no longer balances in the air and it falls back behind herself, landing on Jasper's head. Jasper knocks it off and it hits Mrs. Glick, who is in the seat in front of Marge. Glick and Jasper begin knocking it back and forth as Marge looks distressly annoyed. Somewhat later, Homer, once again, speaks seductively to his wife, who is wearing a scarf around her towering hairdo. Homer: Marge, I was just watching women's volleyball on ESPN. [Marge murmurs appreciatively] Come on, there's no need for that Babamabushka. -- "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Marge takes it off, and Homer screams at what he sees: holes everywhere throughout Marge's magnificent coiffure. Marge pronounces sadly, "I'm losing my hair." Homer: Now, sweetie, don't worry about a thing. I'll teach you to comb it over so no one can tell. Just like my hair! [Marge imagines herself with a Homer-esque comb-over, and breaks into sobs] -- A fate worse than death?, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" At the doctor's... Hibbert: Mrs. Simpson, there's no physical reason why your hair should be falling out. This thing has me buffaloed. [chuckles] Nurse: Phone call, Mrs. Simpson. Lines one and two. Bart: [line one] Ma, I need a glass of milk. Lisa: [line two] Me, too. [as Marge grunts, a bit of her hair falls out] Hibbert: I think the problem may be stress. -- Well, duh, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Marge arrives back at home, where everybody is loafing around the sofa. Marge tells her family about Dr. Hibbert's diagnosis, and suggests that she get some help by hiring a nanny. Homer wonders how they'll be able to pay for it, but Lisa believes that since Marge makes so many sacrifices for them, they should make one for her. Lisa: I'll stop buying Malibu Stacey clothing. Bart: And I'll take up smoking and give that up. Homer: Good for you, son. Giving up smoking is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. Have a dollar. [gives a dollar bill to Bart] Lisa: But he didn't do anything! Homer: Didn't he, Lisa? Didn't he? -- "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" But Homer wakes up and takes back the dollar. Homer: All right, Marge, I'll get you your nanny. And to pay for it, I'll give up the Civil War re-creation society I love so much. [at Moe's, everyone, including Moe, is dressed like 1800s military generals] Moe: [hangs up the phone] Well, Homer's out. We gotta find a new General Ambrose Burnside. Barney: [dressed like Lincoln] But I'm not too crazy about our Stonewall Jackson. [Apu emerges from the Men's room dressed like a Hindu military official] Apu: The south shall [brightly] come again! -- At least they aren't using monkeys, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Meanwhile, at the Simpson household, Marge and Homer are interviewing job applicants. Pennyfeather: Hello, I'm Mrs. Pennyfeather. I understand you are looking for a nanny. Marge: Pleased to meet you. Homer: Wait a minute, Marge. I saw "Mrs. Doubtfire." This is a man in drag! [starts pulling at her hair as if it were a wig] You're phony! Fakey, phony broad! [runs after her] Gimme those! Marge: Homer, if you're going to do that to every applicant, we're never going to find one. Homer: Sorry. Periwinkle: Hello, I'm Mrs. Periwinkle. [Homer growls and jumps after her] -- NARW: Nannies Against Robin Williams, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Kearney is another applicant. Kearney: I'm here about the nanny job. I'll keep a watchful eye on your kids and if they get out of line [smacks fist in palm] -- Pow! Homer: I like him. Kearney: Thanks. Hey, where do you keep the liquor? Homer: I hide a bottle of schnapps in the baby's crib. Marge: I'm sorry, young man. You're not what we're looking for. Kearney: [sotto voce] You're tellin' me, you blue-haired witch. Marge: I heard that! -- "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Later, in the kitchen. Marge: I guess we're not going to find anyone. Lisa: We have our own suggestions for the new nanny. Would you like to hear them? Homer: You have my undivided attention. [Meanwhile, in Homer's brain, goofy animals dance to "Turkey in the Straw."] -- "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Marge, on the other hand, would be happy to hear her children's suggestions, which take the form of a musical number. Lisa wants a wise and caring nanny, Bart wants her to be rather permissive, and Homer wants her to be low-paid and "no fat chicks." But all agree: anyone but Grampa. Marge notes that it's unlikely that they'll find anyone that perfect. But then... High in the sky, a figure glides towards 742 Evergreen Terrace, hanging onto an umbrella. She coughs at the smoke from the SNPP towers, spins around the power lines a few times, scratches the roof of Homer's car, and finally comes to a landing at the door. Is it a bird? A plane? Julie Andrews? No, it's... Shary: Hello, I'm Shary Bobbins. Homer: Did you say Mary Po... Shary: No, I definitely did not. I'm an original creation, like Rickey Rouse, or Monald Muck. -- Trademarks of the Diz-Nee corporation, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Shary: Now, as your nanny, I'll do everything from telling stories to changing diapers. Grampa: Put me down for one of each. -- Eww, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" [End of Act I. Time: 7:44] The family is interviewing Miss Bobbins. Homer's first questions is about bad habits, and Shary Bobbins claims she's practically perfect. "So am I" replies Homer, before drinking milk out of the carton and scratching his butt. After a good belch, the interview continues. Homer: Question two. Who was your last employer? Shary: Lord and Lady Huffington of Sussex. Homer: [whispering] Marge, do we know them? Marge: No. Homer: Come on! Isn't he the guy I bowl with? The black guy. Marge: That's Carl. Homer: Oh yeah! [back to Shary] So! You worked for Carl, eh? -- "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Bart: Pop quiz, hotshot. I'm supposed to be doing my homework, but you find me upstairs reading a Playdude. What do you do? What DO you do? Shary: I make you read every article in that magazine, including Norman Mailer's latest clap-trap about his waning libido. Homer: Ooh. She is tough. -- "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Marge tells her that she's hired. Shary takes the children to their room, riding the banister upstairs, to everyone's amazement. Marge: My, she seems too good to be true. Homer: I'll say. Her butt waxed the banister. Marge: Ooh, I can see myself! -- Now that's shiny!, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Bart's bedroom is a disaster, and Shary tells the kids that they need to clean it up. They are reluctant to do so, until she starts a helpful musical number about doing it the "American Way." Shary covers a pile of clothes on Bart's bed with the covers. Bart crams toys and things into his drawer. Lisa stashes balls underneath the bed. On the other side of the bed, Bart is stashing a box containing toys and a half eaten sandwich under it. Lisa picks up some toys (and Maggie) and drops it all (including Maggie) into the toy chest. Bart empties his wastebasket outside the window. He puts more crumpled up papers in the basket and then empties it outside again. THEN he throws out the wastebakset entirely. Bart goes over to the closet with a pile of clothes and tosses it in the already full closet and he, Lisa and Shary try to close the door. Once the song is done, the family marches out Bart's room and shut the door, causing everything to fall apart, with the mess being restored. (Maggie lifts up the toy chest and looks around) Shary goes down the street, strolling Maggie in a baby buggy and a properly dressed Bart and Lisa walk alongside her. Everyone seems to know her lovingly. Nelson even picked posies for her. She thanks him with a kiss and he blushes. Meanwhile, Willy is entertaining a crowd with his accordion rendition of "Maniac" which he closes by pulling a rope that causes a bucket to spill water on him. Everyone walks away giving him no applause. "Thank you, you ungrateful bast..." he goes, just before seeing Shary. Shary: Hello, Willie. Lisa: You know her? Willie: Aye. Shary Bobbins and I were engaged to be wed back in the old country. Then she got her eyesight back. Suddenly the ugliest man in Glasgow wasn't good enough for her Shary: It's good to see you, Willie. Willie: [angry] That's not what you said the first time you saw me! -- It was more along the lines of "Oh my god!", "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" As they walk through the park, things look more and more like nineteenth-century London... Kearney: Extra, extra! Ripper strikes in White chapel! Skinner: Boy for sale! Boy for sale! Jimbo: Is this legal, man? Skinner: Only here, and in Mississippi. -- "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Shary and her young charges are flying kites, (with Maggie's attached to her pacifier) when Burns and Smithers wander by. Burns: Bah, humbug. Shary: Oh, Mr. Burns, I think you'll find all life's problems just float away when you're flying a kite. [gives him one] Burns: Balderdash. This is the silliest load of... [watches his kite] ...oh, look at it fly! Whee-hee-hee-hee-hee! Look at me, Smithers. [dark clouds gather ominously] I feel practically Superduperfragicalicexpiala-d'oh! [lightning strikes the kite and shocks Mr. Burns, knocking him on the ground] What's this strange sensation in my chest? Smithers: I think your heart's beating again. Burns: Oh, that takes me back. God bless you, Shary Bobbins. -- Always a silver lining, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Back at home, Marge, with fuller hair, surveys the tidy house with Homer. Marge: That Shary Bobbins is a miracle worker. The kids love her, the house is spotless, and my hair's grown back. It's so full and thick it can support a beach umbrella. [sticks a beach umbrella in the top of her hair] [it unfolds] Homer: Come to bed, Marge! Marge: [amorously] Wooo. [starts to remove the umbrella] Homer: No, no. Leave it in. [they giggle and go upstairs] -- Kinky!, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" The three children are preparing for sleep. Shary: It's 8:00, children. Time for bed. Lisa: But we're not sleepy. Bart: Sing us a song, Shary Bobbins. Lisa: Yes, sing us a song. Shary: I've been singing you songs all day. I'm not a bloody jukebox! -- Close to the breaking point, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" But their sad faces convince her otherwise, so she tucks them all into Lisa's bed, grabs a snow dome featuring a bar just like Moe's, and starts singing a song about "a boozehound named Barney." At breakfast the next morning, The Simpsons seem to have become a model family, eating a traditional English breakfast. Homer: Ooh, I can't get enough of this blood pudding. Bart: The secret ingredient is blood. Homer: Blood? Ugh! I'll just stick to the brain and kidney pie, thank you. -- Ignorance is bliss, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Shary: [with bags] I believe my work here is done. Marge: Thank you for everything Bart+Lisa: We'll miss you, Shary Bobbins. Homer: You've changed me as well. I'm no longer the money-driven workaholic I once was. -- Selective memory, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Shary leaves the Simpsons home, regretting how she will "never hear their sweet voices again." Right then, Homer and Bart burst through the window, each at the other's throat. Realizing her work is far from done, she lets out a sigh and marches back in. Inside, Lisa walks with no vigor hitting a spoon on a pan. In the living room, Maggie extinguishes a fire on the curtain, and on the window sill sits Marge, fragile, shaking, worried and stressed with hair falling out her head. She resolves, "Oh, I'll just unpack my things." Grampa: [flying out the door] I think we got our umbrellas switched! [in the air] Whee! I never felt so alive! [snores] Shary: [slaps her hand on her forehead] -- Abe takes Shary's magic umbrella, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" [End of Act Two. Time: 16:00] Shary is grinding pepper for Bart's meal. He wants a little more... little more...little more...oops! Too much. He tells her to take it back, which she does reluctantly. Announcer: Welcome back to "Before They Were Famous." We all know Rainier Wolfcastle as the star of the blockbuster "McBain" movies, but here's his first appearance in a commercial in his native Austria. Wolfcastle: Mein bratwurst has a first name, it's F-R-I-T-Z. Mein bratwurst has a second name, it's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F- F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N... [voice trails off] -- At least it wasn't the Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaft, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Homer: Shary Bobbins, I want another beer. Shary: Well, you know, Homer [musical intro, Shary starts singing] If there's a job that must be done, You'll find it's much more fun... Homer: [interrupting] You'll find it's even more fun if you get it for me! Shary: [continuing] But the beer will taste more sweet If you get up off your seat... Bart: Lady, the man asked for a beer, not a song. Shary: [walks away] [sotto voce] D'oh-re-mi-fa-so... -- The perils of being a Simpson domestic, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Announcer: Now, let's take a look at a young Charles Bronson's brief stint replacing Andy Griffith in "The Andy Griffith Show" Barney: Where's Otis? He's not in his cell. Bronson: I shot him. Barney: Well that's... what?! Bronson: And now, I'm going down to Emmett's Fix-It Shop. [cocks gun] To fix Emmett. ["Andy Griffith Show" theme plays] -- And now, Clint Eastwood on `Dick Van Dyke', "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Somewhat later, Bart is throwing cupcakes at the wall of his filthy room. Shary: Bart Simpson, this room is a frightful mess. Bart: I'll get right on it. [hurls a cupcake on the wall] Shary: Bart, don't you remember? Cleaning up can be a game. Bart: I got a better game. It's called "whipping cupcakes." [hurls another] -- Yesterday's nanny, er, news, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Meanwhile, Lisa is watching the latest Itchy & Scratchy Show (special guest director: Quentin Tarantino). The title: "Reservoir Cats." Itchy & Scratchy, both dressed in black suits, are inside an abandoned warehouse. Itchy has Scratchy bound to a chair. As Stealer's Wheel's "Stuck in the Middle with You" plays, Itchy dances around and splashes gasoline on Scratchy. Then, he gleefully brandishes a razor. The camera pans away from the chair as we hear Scratchy scream. Next, we see Itchy holding Scratchy's ear, when the director himself enters. Tarantino: What I'm trying to say in this cartoon is that violence is everywhere in our society, you know, it's like even in breakfast cereals, man. [Itchy jumps up and cuts off his head with a razor. Scratchy gives him a high-five and the two dance to "Miserlou."] -- ...and that was for "Four Rooms", "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" As Lisa laughs at this, Shary Bobbins enters. Shary: Lisa, don't sit in front of that telly like a fly stuck on a toffee. It's a great big world out there. Lisa: Been there, done it. Shary: I know, we could have a tea party on the ceiling. Lisa: Shh. TV! -- Jaded youth, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Shary cries that "you people will be the death of me", and runs out, sobbing. Somewhat later, she's a mess, drinking beers with empty bottles scattered around the couch and floor. Shary: [singing, obviously drunk] Wasted away again in Margaritaville. Barney: Searching for my lost shaker of salt. [spoken] Oh, here it is. [shakes salt into his mouth.] -- The inevitable result of working for Homer, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Our Favorite Family is shocked to see how Shary has degraded herself. Homer: Ah, that poor woman. Lisa: We've crushed her gentle spirit. Bart: You people should be ashamed of yourselves. [whips another cupcake] -- She has the demented melancholia of a Tennessee Williams heroine, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Marge: [sits down] Shary, you did the best you could. But you can't change this family. And neither can I. From now on, I'm just gonna sit back and enjoy the ride. Shary: But haven't I taught you people anything? Homer: Nope. Lisa: Nope. Bart: Nope. Marge: Nope. Maggie: [shakes her head] -- Definite answers, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Through a last musical, the family explains that they can't be changed, but like it this way. Shary concludes it's time to leave, and takes her umbrella. Bart+Lisa: Good-bye, Shary Bobbins! Marge: Thanks for everything! Barney: So long, Superman! -- Um, almost, "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" Lisa: Do you think we'll ever see her again? Homer: I'm sure we will, honey. [Shary is sucked into a passing plane's jet engine] I'm sure we will. -- Wanna bet? "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-cious" [End of Act III. Time: 21:12] The credits go up to an instrumental medley of "If You Want to Be Our Sitter", "Cut Every Corner", "A Boozehound Named Barney", and "Happy Just the Way We Are."


{bb} Benjamin Ball {bjr} Benjamin J. Robinson {ddg} Don Del Grande {dga} Dale G. Abersold {gb} Greg Bigoni {gg} Greg Galon {hl} Haynes Lee {jh} Jason Hancock {jk} Joe Klemm {jp} John Plasket {ljs} Liam J. Scanlan {ol} Ondre Lombard {tg} Ted Graham {tg2} Timothy Goddard {vc} Vince Chan

Legal Mumbo Jumbo

This episode capsule is Copyright 1997 Frederic Briere. It is not to be redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current maintainer (capsules@snpp.com). All quoted material, episode summaries and "True Lies" voiceovers remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. The transcript itself is Copyright 1997 Ondre Lombard. Please leave your luggage at the hall. This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are today. Many well-deserved cheers and thanks to Dave "resourceful" Hall, who provided me with alt.tv.simpsons archives over two months. This capsule wouldn't be nearly as complete without his invaluable help.