Itchy & Scratchy's Planet of the Aches

Courtesy Dave Hall.

                    Itchy & Scratchy
                  "Planet of the Aches"
{Title: Scratchy rides shotgun on horse, tries to lasso Itchy.}
       [note - Star trek music accompanies this clip]

Scene opens with Scratchy walled up in a typical dungeon.  From
the tiny space yet to be filled, the cat looks dazed, blank face,
tongue dangling out of mouth.
    Itchy enters, walks up a tiny ladder with the remaining
bricks.  Scratchy's face disappears from the uncompleted section
as the smirking mouse pushes the remaining bricks into place.
    Itchy brushes himself off, chuckling at a job well done.
3000 years later... {done in LED lettering}
    Three gloved hands guide lasers in cutting a hole in a section
of the dungeon wall.  Once the wall has collapsed, a weak Scratchy
creeps into our view.  3000 years haven't been good to him -- his
fur, greying, hangs loosely on his bones.  The cat even has a long
white beard.
     Weakly, Scratchy looks to see who freed him.  Meeting his gaze
is three bluish coloured mice with huge pulsating brains.  The
brainy mice are dressed in white robes.
    Scratchy backs away from the approaching mice.   The cat is
cornered, but the mice manage to ease his fears -- they pet him.

    Taking Scratchy away from his imprisonment, the brainy mice
bathe and clean him.  Using their mental powers, they lift Scratchy
up into the air and guide various brushes to groom him.

    Finally, the brainy mice give Scratchy a robe, similar to
their own, and led him away.

    Scratchy is lead to an arena and left at its center.  All
around the cat, the arena is packed with brainy mice -- whose
silent, benevolent smiles gaze upon him.  Scratchy breaks into a
sweat, his eyes dart back and forth.
    A single mouse, probably the leader, sits down.  Once the
leader is seated, the mice, still smiling benevolently, close their
eyes -- their huge brains pulsating.
    From each end of the arena, a knife and axe come flying,
slicing off Scratchy's left ear and tail.  Scratchy screams while
blood gushes forth.  The mice, smiling even more benevolently,
commands more weapsons to chop and slice up the hapless cat.
    Soon Scratchy's bloody, severed head rests upon a pile of
bloody cat parts.  An axe cleaves the head neatly into two.
The brainy mice clap.
                      -THE END-
            [Running time: approx. 54.8 seconds]
  (IMHO it's funnier seeing the clip than reading it.  -dh)

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Last updated on May 10, 1998 by Dave Hall (