[3F31] The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular
The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular Written by Penny Wise
Directed by Pound Foolish
===============================================================================
Production code: 3F31 Original airdate in N.A.: 3-Dec-95
Capsule revision D, 22-Feb-97
Title sequence
A drumroll sounds.
Announcer: Live, from the Springfield Civic Auditorium -- it's the
Simpsons 138th episode spectacular!
[trumpet fanfare as Troy McClure walks on]
Troy: [walking on] Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me
from such Fox network specials as "Alien Nose Job" and "Five
Fabulous Weeks of `The Chevy Chase Show'".
Tonight we're here to honor America's favorite non-
prehistoric cartoon family. You'll see long lost footage,
never-before-seen material from your favorite episodes, old
favorites you can't see in syndication.
[clips of MG07, 8F13, 2F20, and 9F03 run quickly]
So join me, won't you, for the Simpsons 138th episode
spectacular.
-- Troy's introduction, "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"
Over the opening shot of Springfield, "23% New Footage" appears on the
screen.
Blackboard :- I will only do this once a year.
I will only do this once a year/ at cutoff.
Lisa's Solo:- Heard, but not seen. {rl}
Couch :- [8F18] giant brown slug
:- [9F02] running off the edge of the frame
:- [9F10] everyone in Springfield runs in to watch TV
:- [9F09] everyone very small
:- [8F09] SLH growling on couch
:- [1F02] Monty Python foot
:- [2F31] Maggie largest, Homer smallest
:- [2F09] Escher "Relativity"
:- [2F06] running down perspective hallway
:- [1F17] carpet is water
:- [2F11] black and white/Michey Mouse
:- [9F08] chorus line
[End of Credits. Time: 2:17]
Did you notice...
Mark Richey:
... we learn how to say "Groening"?
... Smithers actually does look like a lemur in the WSMB outtake?
... there were no "syndication cut-outs" as promised?
Haynes Lee:
... Mr. Brooks looks like the tycoon from Monopoly?
... Mr. Simon looks like the eccentric Howard Hughes?
... the message in Homer's skull: "IOU one brain, signed, God"?
Benjamin Robinson:
... after showing the first short, Troy pauses a bit, as if taken
aback by what he just saw?
... Satan's Formula 1 car was sponsored by Duff beer and Laramie
cigarettes?
... Lionel Hutz's pizza is from "Jackie McLean Pizza & Jazz?"
... the dreaded robotic Richard Simmons is almost as fat as Homer?
Keith Palmer:
... the comics that Matt Groening was supposed to have worked on all
have Bongo Comics seals?
... Santa's Little Helper holds the gun in his mouth to shoot Mr.
Burns in one of the fake shootings?
... all of the fake shootings have the same background and animation
of Burns?
... as one of the commercial breaks begins, Troy walks just off
stage, seems to become depressed, and lights a cigarette? (He
likely didn't care for the episode.)
Dominik Halas:
... the living room has been moved? (the arched doorway normally
leads into the kitchen, not the hallway.)
... Groening is dressed just like Grampa? (unlike Grampa, he wears
an eyepatch and recognizes all 50 states)
... Brooks has two Emmies and an Oscar?
... the Life in Hell poster in Groening's office?
Don Del Grande:
... in the list of names, some appear more than once (like Vyolet
Diaz and Marty Gross)?
... Apu fires more than one shot at Burns, so he couldn't have done
it since only one shot was heard?
... whoever did do it used the same bullets as the gun found in
Homer's car?
... "Good Night" has a FOX logo in the corner, but FOX had not
started using it in 1987?
Ricardo Lafaurie:
... unlike the past two clip shows, this episode did not credit the
collaborative efforts of the writers of the clips shown?
... Troy neglects to mention "Life in Hell" as one of Groening's
comics?
... Penny Wise is on the list of people who worked on the Simpsons?
... this episode confirms that Dr. Marvin Monroe is dead?
... this is the first episode to show episode titles (of other
episodes, though)?
... Homer runs over Bart's bike?
... Apu carries an automatic weapon?
... apparently, Troy doesn't know that next season is the Simpsons'
last?
... in the nudity scene from 2F07, Marge and Homer seem to have no
genitals?
Voice credits
- Starring
- Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Krusty, James Bond)
- Julie Kavner (Marge)
- Nancy Cartwright (Bart)
- Yeardley Smith (Lisa)
- Hank Azaria (announcer, post office employee, Race Banyon, network
man 2, Apu, Indian man in film)
- Harry Shearer (Smithers, Burns, network man 1, Blofeld, Flanders)
- Special Guest Voice
- Buzz Aldrin (himself)
- Glenn Close (Mother Simpson)
- Liz Georges (Maggie in MG01) [not credited - ed] {ddg}
- Phil Hartman (Troy McClure, Lionel Hutz)
- Also Starring
- Pamela Hayden (Lizzy Borden)
- Tress MacNeille (Indian singing woman)
Movie (and other) references not already listed elsewhere
+ "Alien Autopsy"
- "Alien Nose Job" refers to the actual alien special aired on Fox
recently
+ "The Chevy Chase Show"
- there never was a Fox special devoted to this show, that literally
lasted five weeks
+ "Patton" {rl}
- "Matt Groening's picture" is on a backdrop of the US flag, like
the movie
+ "The Flintstones"
- Troy refers to the Simpsons as "America's favorite non-prehistoric
cartoon family"
+ Howard Hughes
- Sam Simon looks just like him
+ Madonna's "Sex" book
- Krusty's "Sex" book a clear parody
+ "Casino Royale" and other Bond movies
- James Bond gambling looks similar (it was Chemin de Fer in the
original film {ddg})
+ Domino's Pizza
- "30 minutes or it's free" from Lionel Hutz (see below)
+ Richard Simmons
- well, duh
+ "Terminator 2"
- Richard Simmons robot's eye reforming very similar to T1000
+ the OJ Simpson trial
- Troy's comment about the nuttiness of ignoring Simpson DNA
evidence, just as was done in the trial
Previous episode references not already listed elsewhere
- [SC04] Has a comic named "It's In The Cards" (cf. Troy saying comedy
was "in the cards") {jp}
- [9F03] "53% new footage" in I&S movie (cf. "23% new footage" in this
episode)
- [1F08] Howard Hughes is referenced {dh}
- [8F09], [9F15] "The Land of Chocolate" music plays {dh}
- [1F13] Homer refers to his trip to space in the clip from Mother
Simpson {dh}
- [2F20] The evidence that Dr. Monroe is dead {ddg}
- [2F32] The death of Bleeding Gums Murphy {ddg}
- [2F33] Written by Penny Wise {rl}
Freeze frame fun
- Civic Center sign: {rl}
SPRINGFIELD CIVIC AUDITORIUM
TONIGHT
GALA SPECTACULAR
TOMORROW
ALTERNATE LIFESTYLE
SENIOR PROM
- Warning in the opening scene: {rl}
TWENTY-THREE PERCENT
NEW FOOTAGE
Not a significant source of U.S. RDA
original entertainment
- "Damnation" comic speech balloon: {rl}
Depart from me,
ye cursed!
- Stuff in Groening's office: {rl}
- Life in Hell poster
- Simpsons poster
- gin
- The list of people involved with the Simpsons: {ddg}
- Rows 74-97 are the same as rows 1-24 in each column
- Row 33 Left says "Daviod S. Cohen" (instead of "David") and Row 35
Center says "Louis Cohen" (instead of "Louise")
- There are 182 unique names
1 Younghee Higa Josh Weinstein Tim Heyen
2 Jen Kamerman Lance Thatcher Neil Alsip
3 Rick Roosevelt Kristen Y. Howard Jo Jo Stiger
4 Ethan Spalding Nia Andrews Dan Helmut
5 Allison Elliott Ely Lester Amy Kramer
6 Dominique Braud-Stieger Eric Stefani Candace Kuwahara
7 Josh Weinstein Younghee Higa Lucy Vollbrecht
8 Mark McJimsey Shigeko Doyle Neil Alsip
9 Ping Warner Robert Ingram Lance Thatcher
10 Dan Faris Antonia Coffman Richard Sakai
11 Don Gilbert Arden Rynew Tim Heyen
12 Beth Traeger Steve Mitchell Michael Ludy
13 Joe Johnson J. Michael Mendel Ethan Spalding
14 Rick Roosevelt Michelle Berman Amy Klees-Rychlich
15 Brad Greene Lisa M. Raffonelli John Berman
16 Neil Goldman Devin Paul Belle Norman
17 Nia Andrews Janet Shirley Patrick Buchanan
18 John McGreal Joe Boucher Phil Hartman
19 David Gilbert India Andrews Carlos Abdala
20 Greg Daniels Dan Helmut Bill Breshears
21 Vyolet Diaz David Mendel Colin A.B.V. Lewis
22 Jen Kamerman Mark Behn Bill Oakley
23 Joel Kuwahara Christopher Scott Seth Maury
24 Don Johnson Marty Gross Jonathan Elliott
25 Juel Bestrop Elizabeth McJimsey Colleen Murakami
26 Jo Jo Stiger Mike Whamond Terry Greene
27 Matt Groening Dan Castellaneta David Lipman
28 Luis Escobar Mike Marcantel Becca Ramos
29 Phyllis Craig Cookie Tricarico Kent Holaday
30 Ken Tsumura Kathy Duerr Josh Rynew
31 Velvet Pierson Christine Bourgeois Ricky Booker
32 Rochelle Thatcher Jacqueline Atkins Everett A. Oliver
33 Daviod S. Cohen Jane Yamashita George Meyer
34 Jonathan Collier Denise Sirkot Brent Forrester
35 Jennifer Crittenden Louis Jaffe Ken Keeler
36 Richard Appel Trish Helmut Dan Greaney
37 Harry Shearer Bill Schultz Yeardley Smith
38 Bobby Mackston Christine Griswold Chris Ledesma
39 Mike Scully Adam Kuhlman Bonita Pietila
40 Travis Powers Lance Wilder Julie Kavner
41 Kim Hayes Karen Bauer R. Russell Smith
42 Pamela Hayden Anne Luiting Al Jean
43 Annette Andersen Martin Alvarez Tress MacNeille
44 Aileen Braun Laurie Biernacki Karen M. Boyle
45 Elizabeth Jacobs Ariel Lauritzen Alf Clausen
46 Sam Simon Elizabeth Hernandez Penny Wise
47 Maria Kavanaugh Kurtis Kunsak Greg Orloff
48 David Silverman Steve Tompkins Mike Reiss
49 Brooke Kane James L. Brooks Felicia Nalivansky
50 Michael Wolf Ian Maxtone-Graham Ellen Barnett
51 Ralph A. Eusebio Nancy Cartwright David Mirkin
52 Celia Kendrick Hank Azaria Alexander Duke
53 Joe Wack Brad Bird Sherry Falk
54 Paul Fetler Kristen Y. Howard John Swartzwelder
55 Danny Elfman Dale Hendrickson Sharon Ramsay
56 Ronald Cox Shaun Cashman Sandra Contreras
57 Bob Hile Syd Kato Reid Kramer
58 Larry Field Robert Pennington Heidi Johnson
59 David Mathie Matthew Kee Adam Won
60 Andrew Dolvin Don Dixon C.J. Dolvin
61 Anatole Klebano Avery Cobern George Nicifords
62 Rob Cohen Tony Cappelli Mike Bridge
63 Jon Vitti Paula Cox Mike McCusker
64 Peter Kwong Ian Deitchman Conan O'Brien
65 Doris Grau Carrie Pike Bob Parks
66 Colin A.B.V. Lewis Ping Warner Beth Traeger
67 Robert Ingram Steve Mitchell Richard Sakai
68 Amy Kramer Dan Faris John McGreal
69 Devin Paul Arden Rynew Brad Greene
70 Joe Johnson Vyolet Diaz Joe Boucher
71 Shigeko Doyle Amy Kramer Brad Greene
72 Janet Shirley India Andrews Seth Murray
73 Christopher Scott Marty Gross Belle Norman
74 Younghee Higa Josh Weinstein Tim Heyen
75 Jen Kamerman Lance Thatcher Neil Alsip
76 Rick Roosevelt Kristen Y. Howard Jo Jo Stiger
77 Ethan Spalding Nia Andrews Dan Helmut
78 Allison Elliott Ely Lester Amy Kramer
79 Dominique Braud-Stieger Eric Stefani Candace Kuwahara
80 Josh Weinstein Younghee Higa Lucy Vollbrecht
81 Mark McJimsey Shigeko Doyle Neil Alsip
82 Ping Warner Robert Ingram Lance Thatcher
83 Dan Faris Antonia Coffman Richard Sakai
84 Don Gilbert Arden Rynew Tim Heyen
85 Beth Traeger Steve Mitchell Michael Ludy
86 Joe Johnson J. Michael Mendel Ethan Spalding
87 Rick Roosevelt Michelle Berman Amy Klees-Rychlich
88 Brad Greene Lisa M. Raffonelli John Berman
89 Neil Goldman Devin Paul Belle Norman
90 Nia Andrews Janet Shirley Patrick Buchanan
91 John McGreal Joe Boucher Phil Hartman
92 David Gilbert India Andrews Carlos Abdala
93 Greg Daniels Dan Helmut Bill Breshears
94 Vyolet Diaz David Mendel Colin A.B.V. Lewis
95 Jen Kamerman Mark Behn Bill Oakley
96 Joel Kuwahara Christopher Scott Seth Maury
97 Don Johnson Marty Gross Jonathan Elliott
- Names that appear more than once: {ddg}
FOUR TIMES (12) THREE TIMES (22) TWICE (29)
Neil Alsip India Andrews Carlos Abdala
Nia Andrews Joe Boucher Mark Behn
Brad Greene Vyolet Diaz John Berman
Dan Helmut Shigeko Doyle Michelle Berman
Tim Heyen Dan Faris Dominique Braud-Stieger
Younghee Higa Marty Gross Bill Breshears
Jen Kamerman Kristen Y. Howard Patrick Buchanan
Amy Kramer Robert Ingram Antonia Coffman
Rick Roosevelt Joe Johnson Greg Daniels
Ethan Spalding Colin A.B.V. Lewis Allison Elliott
Lance Thatcher John McGreal Jonathan Elliott
Josh Weinstein Steve Mitchell David Gilbert
Belle Norman Don Gilbert
Devin Paul Neil Goldman
Beth Traeger Phil Hartman
Arden Rynew Don Johnson
Richard Sakai Amy Klees-Rychlich
Christopher Scott Candace Kuwahara
Janet Shirley Joel Kuwahara
Jo Jo Stiger Ely Lester
Beth Traeger Michael Ludy
Ping Warner Seth Maury
mARK mCjImsey
David Mendel
J. Michael Mendel
Bill Oakley
Lisa M. Raffonelli
Eric Stefani
Lucy Vollbrecht
- Pizza box: {rl}
Jackie
McLean's
Pizza
and Jazz
Animation, continuity, and other goofs
In the fake ending of WSMB II, Smithers is shown during the shooting
looking as he normally does. But in the end of WSMB I and the beginning
of WSMB II, he is unshaven, missing his jacket, and his tie is undone.
{kp}
Reviews
Mark Richey: The best of the clip shows. The outtakes were very funny.
The "trivia" was a good send up of that sort, and the alternative
solution to WSMB was pretty good. However, when you come right down
to it, it was still just a clip show. C+
Dale Abersold: Hardly an episode at all...hardly even a clip show! The
clips were terrific, even though the Robotic Richard Simmons was not
nearly as scary as I had thought it should be. I also loved the
O.J. reference about ignoring DNA evidence. However, if I must give
the episode a grade, it would be: Incomplete.
Haynes Lee: The producers have learned from last year that they cannot
stitch together 20 minutes of old material with 5 minutes of new
material. The result is a summary episode that should have been
done a long time ago. Grade: A-.
Andrew Wagster: This wasn't a terrible episode [despite it being a clips
episode, which I usually hate], due mainly to Troy McClure, who I
like. I got to see a few clips that I'd forgotten about [the
Flintstones reference cracked me up in particular], so it wasn't a
total waste. Grade: B.
Benjamin Robinson: As the televised equivalent to a B-sides album, this
episode makes a nice curio for the Simpsons fan. Almost makes up
for my not getting to see Mr. Silverman's presentation in San
Francisco. (B)
John Martin: Please. Not another clip show! This one was better than
the others, in that the writers made it pretty obvious that they
(and Troy McClure) hate doing this sort of thing. The "Robotic
Richards Simmons" clip is the ONLY thing that saves this from the
garbage dump. Overall, a D-.
Keith Palmer: I should admit that I don't hate clip shows just for being
clip shows; I liked the first, but disliked the second. However,
this episode's stripped-down frame, blasts from the distant past,
outtakes, and unique look at Matt Groening made it more original and
entertaining than its predecessors. Grade: B+/A-
Dominik Halas: Brilliant! Much better than the first two clip shows
because most of the clips they used _weren't_ ones we normally get
to see. If Bart's blackboard lines are any indication, they'll do
another one next year, so producers, take note: _this_ clip show is
the one to emulate. Grade: A.
Don Del Grande: C-plus - This is my idea of a "clip show"; however,
there just weren't enough of the "outtakes" to make it really
worthwhile, although anyone who never saw the shorts from "The
Tracey Ullman Show" might like it a little better. On top of that,
the promised "syndication outtakes" never appeared.
Scott Fujimoto: This time, the producers made it interesting by
including stuff that people wouldn't know about unless they watched
Tracy Ullman or went to one of David Silverman's talks. Plus a lot
of great (original) jokes. I liked it, although they can't pull the
same stunt again. Grade: A.
Frederic Briere: If I had to keep only one episode, it would be this
one. Not that it was _that_ funny, but it truly kept the feeling of
every season from the show: this is what the two first clip shows
should've looked like. For someone who will never get Comedy
Central in his life, those Tracey Ullman Shorts were a slice of
paradise. (A)
Ricardo Lafaurie: I'm wary of clip shows, but this one was great because
it had the proper setting (they didn't try to intermingle it with
the show.) Watching the Tracey Ullman shorts were good too. And
Richdale must have been nuts to let them cut out that robotic
Richard Simmons!!! B-.
Jose Lafaurie: Probably the only good clip show ever. There was just
one problem - did you notice the pacing was kind of slow. And to
top that off, they had to put the Tracey Ullman show, which were,
like the NeXT computer, built to be slow. And DYN how Troy spoke?
There were gaps between every sentence, man. (C+)
Adam Lipkin: Good lord, they didn't really look like that, did they?
It's a much bgger change than I thought. As a clip show it went
pretty well, considering that most of the clips were never shown
before. Troy McClure takes a well-deserved starring role. Grade:
B-.
Tony Hill: This was superb, as clip shows go. It was well-paced,
acerbic, and witty. The only detraction was the uniting of truth
with parody (Captain Wacky, Groening's past, etc.). I give it an
A-.
Yours truly: Now that's how a clip show oughta be done. A terrific
self-satirizing send-up of the show, with many classic scenes in a
row plus a rare glimpse at what gets cut...what more could one want?
As a clip show, A+; as a regular episode, B+.
Comments and other observations
"Captain Wacky", a.k.a. Homer
Ricardo Lafaurie writes, "When Troy said this, it sort of made me think
about the Tracy Ullman show. Did you notice that Homer went
nameless throughout the majority of the shows? He was even credited
as `Dad' or `Mr. Simpson.' Some shorts give Homer's name. Examples
follow:
- "The Pagans" (MG22) by Bart {ddg}
- "The Aquarium" (MG24) by Bart {ddg}
- "Zoo Story" (MG29) by Marge {ddg}
- "Art Museum" (MG29) by Marge
- "Shut up Simpsons" (MG30) by Grampa and Bart
- "Home Hypnotism" (MG32) by Marge and Bart {ddg}
- "Punching Bag" (MG33) by Marge and Bart
- "Echo Canyon" (MG36) by Bart
- "The Bart Simpson Show" (MG38) by Lisa (!)
- "Bathtime" (MG44) by Bart
- "Family Therapy" (MG47) by Bart
- "T.V. Simpsons" (MG48) by Bart
Incidentally, Marge was never named until the half-hour show."
The Indian movie
This was, apparently, a not-inaccurate portrayal of Indian movies. The
man who bursts through the window utters real Hindi curses. Sarang
Gupta explains, "According to my Mom, who speaks fluent Hindi (but
didn't see the show, so I had to pronounce this out loud to her), it
means `Dog! (koothay) Mean person! (kaminay, a swear word in Hindi
with no real English translation) I am speaking [these insults] to
those who are eavesdropping/listening to me. (suun ka va jay)'
Although it sounds awkward translated, my Mom tells me it's a viable
insult in Hindi (plus I'm grounded for two weeks...)."
Jay Srinivasan further notes, "The `top 400 list' remark by Apu is a
reference to the fact that India is the leading producer of movies.
They have thousands, if not more, every year. That's why they are
so crappy. My mom told me that many movies have weddings where it
rains, and then there is dancing, not unlike Apu's movie."
Domino's Pizza
Their guarantee was delivery in under "30 minutes or your pizza is
free." Haynes Lee notes, "However, one of their drivers got into a
really nasty accident and Domino's got sued big-time. A really good
legal reference."
Hardcore nudity from 2F07
Benjamin Robinson writes, "If you look carefully, you'll notice that
another outtake slipped into the nudie montage at the end. The
scene where Bart interrupts Homer and Marge's is from `Grampa vs.
Sexual Inadequacy (2F07),' right? Wrong! I checked my tape of the
original airing, and -- yowsa! -- we got to see a lot more of her
this time. In fact, the scene that did air looks comparatively
crude, as if the censors balked at the last minute and ordered a re-
do. Well, I guess this makes up for dropping the `doggy leapfrog'
scene from `Two Dozen & One Greyhounds (2F18).'"
Quotes and Scene Summary
Troy: "The Simpsons" began as the brainchild of cartoonist Matt
Groening,
[screen shows a bald man with an eyepatch saluting in front of a
US flag and looking menacing]
the already-famous creator of such comics as "Damnation", "Johnny
Reb", and "True Murder Stories". [screen shows each]
In 1987, Groening teamed up with award-winning producers James L.
Brooks
[shot of 8F01-esque rich man surrounded by bags of money]
and Sam Simon.
[shot of Howard Hughes-esque naked man typing in bed]
And what better place to premiere their creation than on "The
Tracy Ullman Show", the nation's showcase for psychiatrist jokes
and musical comedy numbers? On April 19th, 1987, America first
met "The Simpsons".
-- From humble beginnings, "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"
All 1:48 of MG01 ("Good Night") airs. When the camera returns to Troy,
he has a look of disbelieving incredulity on his face. He laughs
suddenly and observes, "They haven't changed a bit, have they?"
He continues, "As the weeks went on, so did the cartoons." 0:46 of MG16
("The Perfect Crime") airs, followed by 0:47 of MG13 ("Space Patrol").
Troy resumes, "As wacky as those kids were, they were no match for
`Captain Wacky', later renamed `Homer'." 0:24 of MG20 ("World War III")
airs, followed by 1:06 of MG44 ("Bathtime").
Troy: Maybe the drawings were a little crude, but all the characters
were there: Itchy & Scratchy,
[shot of Itchy showing Scratchy a female cat]
Grampa Simpson,
[shot of a very crude crayon drawing of Abe]
and Krusty the Klown.
[shot of another very crude drawing of Krusty]
When we return, more classic moments, and, for the first time ever
on TV, our private reel of "Simpsons" outtakes, including the
alternate endings to "Who Shot Mr. Burns?"
[the audience claps as Troy walks offstage]
[once there, he sighs and lights a cigarette]
-- "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"
Just before the commercial break, the announcer asks, "In the opening
credits, what does the cash register say when Maggie is scanned?"
[End of Act One. Time: 8:33]
Announcer: In the opening credits, what does the cash register say when
Maggie is scanned?
The cash register says, "NRA4EVER", just one of the hundreds
of radical right-wing messages inserted into every show by
creator Matt Groening.
Troy: Over the six years "The Simpsons" has been on the air, we've
received dozens of letters from fans wanting to know more
about the show. Tonight, we'll answer some of your
questions.
Professor Lawrence Pierce of the University of Chicago
writes, "I think Homer gets stupider every year." That's not
a question, Professor, but we'll let the viewers judge for
themselves.
-- No jury in the world would convict him, "The Simpsons 138th Episode
Spectacular"
[screen: "Second season"]
Homer: [disguising his voice] Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe
you have a letter for me.
Employee: OK, Mr. Burns. Uh, what's your first name?
Homer: [pause] I don't know.
-- 0:11 from 7F22 ("Blood Feud"): is Home getting stupider?, "The
Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"
[screen: "Third season"]
Marge: Well, Homer, maybe you can take some consolation in the fact that
something you created is making so many people happy.
Homer: [sarcastic] Ooh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the
magical man from Happyland, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane!
[walks out, slams door]
[sticks head back in] Oh, by the way: I was being sarcastic
[slams door]
Marge: Well, _duh_.
-- 0:22 from 8F08 ("Flaming Moe's"): is Homer getting stupider?, "The
Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"
[screen: "Fourth season"]
[the theme from "The Flintstones" plays]
[a man looks at his watch, and pulls a cord on a whistle]
Homer: Yabba dabba doo!
[slides down pipe, crashes through window into car]
[singing] Simpson, Homer Simpson,
He's the greatest guy in history!
From the town of Springfield,
He's about to hit a chestnut tree.
Aah! [smash!]
-- 0:29 from 9F10 ("Marge vs. the Monorail"): is Homer getting
stupider?, "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"
[screen: "Fifth season"]
Homer: Hey, guys! Look what I smuggled aboard! [shows a bag of chips]
Buzz: Homer, no!
[he opens the bag; the chips fly everywhere]
Race: They'll clog the instruments!
Buzz: [shielding eyes] Careful! They're ruffled!
Homer: I'll take care of this...
[as the "Blue Danube" plays, Homer floats about, eating chips]
[his head approaches the ant colony]
Aah! Ants!
Ant 1: Protect the queen!
Ant 2: Which one's the queen?
Ant 3: I'm the queen!
Ant 1: No you're not!
Homer: Nooo! [his head smashed the colony, and the ants float free]
Ant 1: Freedom! Horrible, horrible freedom!
-- 0:53 from 1F13 ("Deep Space Homer"): is Homer getting stupider?, "The
Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"
[screen: "Sixth season"]
Homer: "No TV and No Beer Make Homer" something something.
Marge: [timid] "Go Crazy"?
Homer: Don't mind if I do!
[makes lots of silly noises, then chases Marge]
-- 0:18 from 2F03 ("Treehouse of Horror V"): is Homer getting stupider?,
"The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"
Troy: Dr. Linus Irving of the Sloan-Ketterling Memorial Institute
writes, "How does Matt Groening find the time to write and draw an
entire `Simpsons' episode every week?" For the answer to this, we
went straight to the source.
[through a window, a shot of Matt at a desk]
Matt: [seeing the camera] Get out of my off --!
[picks up a gun, shoots at the camera]
Troy: Of course, what Matt _meant_ to say, according to his attorneys,
is that he couldn't possibly do it alone. And he insisted that we
make time to acknowledge the hard work of everyone who makes "The
Simpsons" possible.
[very quick shot of lots of names]
-- Hey, they took the time, "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"
Troy: Ambassador Henry Mwabwetumba of the Ivory Coast writes, "What
is the real deal with Mr. Burns' assistant Smithers? You know
what I'm talking about." Ha ha ha, of course we do.
[0:13 from 1F01 ("Rosebud")]
Smithers: The preparations for your birthday have begun.
Burns: I won't get what I really want.
Smithers: No one does...
[imagines Mr. Burns, naked, popping out of a cake singing,
"Happy Birthday, Mr. Smithers]
[0:14 from 8F17 ("Dog of Death")]
Smithers: People _like_ dogs, Mr. Burns.
Burns: Nonsense! Dogs are idiots. Think about it, Smithers: if _I_
came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and
slobbering all over your face, what would you say?
Smithers: [pause] If _you_ did it, Sir?
[0:13 from 1F12 ("Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy")]
Smithers: Here, I'll print you out a copy.
Lisa: Thanks!
[Smithers turns on his computer; a bitmapped Mr. Burns
appears]
Burns: [halting cadence] Hello, Smithers. You're quite good at
turning me on.
Smithers: Um...you probably should ignore that.
[0:19 from 9F05 ("Marge Gets a Job")]
Burns: [sighs] I dreamed about her again last night, Smithers. You
know that dream when you're in bed and they fly in through the
window?
[Smithers imagines Burns doing just that]
Troy: [voiceover] As you can see, the real deal with Waylon Smithers
is that he's Mr. Burns' assistant. He's in his early 40s, is
unmarried, and currently resides in Springfield. Thanks for
writing! We'll be right back.
-- "Skirting" the issue, "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"
Just before the commercial break, the announcer asks, "Which popular
`Simpsons' characters have died in the past year?"
[End of Act Two. Time: 13:22]
Announcer: Which popular "Simpsons" characters have died in the past
year? If you said Bleeding Gums Murphy and Dr. Marvin
Monroe, you are wrong: they were never popular.
Troy: Right about now, you're probably saying, "Troy, I've seen
_every_ `Simpsons' episode. You can't show me anything new."
[menacing] Well, you got some attitude, Mister.
Besides, you're wrong! Because sometimes, episodes run long,
and certain scenes never get aired. So fire up your VCR,
because here, for the first time ever, are the cut-out
classics.
-- "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"
Troy: [voiceover] When Krusty the clown got canceled, he tried
everything to stay on the air. Here's what you didn't see.
Krusty: Watch my show, I will send you this book featuring me in a
variety of sexually explicit positions.
[men drag him off] What? Hey! It's not really me: I used a
stunt butt!
[later, Krusty looks dejected as three men walk up]
Man 1: Krusty, we're from the network. Uh, we have some bad news: I'm
afraid your show's been canceled.
Krusty: Oh, I thought this would happen. I just hope you replace me
with something as educational and uplifting as I tried to be.
Man 2: Actually, it's a hemorrhoid infomercial starring Claude Akins.
Krusty: Can I play hemorrhoid sufferer number one? Ooh! Oh, that
hurts! Ow! Oh, is there no relief?
Man 1: I don't think so. [they start to walk off]
Krusty: How about one of the "after" guys? Aah. Ohh, that's better. I
can ride a bike again!
Man 1: Sorry.
-- Some new footage in 9F19 ("Krusty Gets Kancelled"), "The Simpsons
138th Episode Spectacular"
Troy: [voiceover] When Springfield legalized gambling, Homer became a
blackjack dealer -- and comedy was in the cards.
Blofeld: 20. Your move, Mr. Bond.
Bond: I'll take a hit, dealer. [Homer gives him a card]
Joker! You were supposed to take those out of the deck.
Homer: Oh, sorry. Here's another one.
Bond: What's this card? "Rules for Draw and Stud Poker"?
Blofeld: What a pity, Mr. Bond.
[Odd Job and Jaws grab Bond and drag him out]
Bond: But...but it's Homer's fault! I didn't lose. I never lose!
Well, at least tell me the details of your plot for world
domination.
Blofeld: Ho ho ho, I'm not going to fall for _that_ one again.
-- Some new footage in 1F08 ("$pringfield"), "The Simpsons 138th Episode
Spectacular"
Troy: [voiceover] Earlier this year, Homer's long-lost mother
returned. And so did a long-lost care package.
[shot of Homer eating food from old care packages]
Homer: Mmm.
Mother: Homer, please: you don't have to wolf down that 25- year-old
candy just to make me happy.
Homer: [pause] But it won't make you unhappy, right? [bites]
Hey! Space food sticks! Oh, I wish I had _these_ on my space
adventure. Did you know I was blasted into space two years ago,
Mom?
Mother: Well, sure. I read all about it. It _was_ national news.
[fearfully] Do you _still_ work for NASA?
Homer: No, I work at the nuclear power plant.
Mother: Oh, Homer.
Homer: Well, you'll be happy to know I don't work very hard. [quietly]
Actually, I'm bringing the plant down from the inside
[taps nose secretively]
-- Some new footage in 3F06 ("Mother Simpson"), "The Simpsons 138th
Episode Spectacular"
Troy: [voiceover] When Homer sold his soul for a donut, he found Hell
isn't all it's cracked up to be in these never-before broadcast
scenes.
[a demon selects Homer's head from several and grips it]
[he rolls it down an alley as Homer's head screams]
[it hits the spiked pins and breaks open, revealing a note:
"IOU one brain, signed God"]
[at home, Marge reads the phone book]
Marge: Lawyers, lawyers, lawyers...oh! Lionel Hutz. "Cases won in 30
minutes or your pizza's free." Hmm.
Bart: I'd sell my soul for a formula one racing car.
[Satan Ned appears with a race car]
Ned: Heh heh heh, that can be arranged.
Bart: Changed my mind. Sorry.
[Ned vanishes] Cool!
Marge: Bart! Stop pestering Satan.
[after the trial]
Lizzie: Your Honor, we find that Homer Simpson's soul is legally the
property of Marge Simpson and not of the devil.
Ned: [disappointed] Oh.
Kids: Yay!
[the legions of Hell disappear]
Hutz: [walking around a corner] Well, I didn't win. Here's your
pizza.
Marge: But we _did_ win!
Hutz: That's OK: the box is empty.
-- Some new footage in 1F04 ("Treehouse of Horror IV"), "The Simpsons
138th Episode Spectacular"
Troy has fallen asleep on the couch behind the film projector. Someone
pokes him with a stick. "If that's what they cut out, what they leave
in must be pure gold!" he says, awakening with a start. "Let's watch
some more of those fabulous Simpsons outtakes."
Troy: Apu living with the Simpsons?! It happened. And here's a scene
you didn't see.
Apu: I'm hoping you enjoy this movie. It made every Indian critic's
top 400 list.
Woman: [singing] Love love love love love! I'm in love with lovely
Johnny.
[an Indian man breaks through a window and curses in Hindi at
three sitting men]
[they all start dancing]
Bart: This movie you rented sucks.
Homer: No it doesn't, it's funny! Their clothes are different from my
clothes. [laughs] Look at what they're wearing! [laughs more]
-- Some new footage in 1F10 ("Homer and Apu"), "The Simpsons 138th
Episode Spectacular"
Troy: [voiceover] A few years back, Bart was adopted by Mr. Burns.
In this very special outtake, Homer attempts a reconciliation
with his estranged son. Watch.
Homer: Bart, you're coming home.
Bart: I want to stay here with Mr. Burns.
Burns: I suggest you leave immediately.
Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs
with bees in their mouths, and when they bark, they shoot bees
at you? Well, go ahead. Do your worst.
Burns: "Do my worst", eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard
Simmons.
[a door open and said robot walks out]
Simmons: Come on, big boy! Shake that butter off those buns.
[a speaker pops out of its head and plays "Shake Your Booty"]
Homer: Aah! [runs away]
Simmons: Come on, come on, girls! Shake, shake, shake!
Burns: Smithers, it's out of control.
Smithers: I'll take him out, Sir!
[cocks shotgun, blasts it in the head]
[the hole closes up a la T2 and the dancing resumes]
Simmons: [slowing down] Shake, shake, shake! Shake, shake, shake!
Shake, shake, shake...
Smithers: His ass is going to blow!
[they all run in the house]
[the robot explodes, its head landing far away]
-- Some new footage from 1F16 ("Burns' Heir"), "The Simpsons 138th
Episode Spectacular"
The camera returns to Troy.
Troy: This past summer, all of America was trying to solve the mystery
of who shot Mr. Burns. [pause] Then they found out it was the
baby.
[long pause; coughs]
To keep this bombshell secret, the producers animated several
solutions that were never intended to air.
[scene shows Barney, Tito Puente, Moe, Apu, and SLH each shooting
Mr. Burns next to the Simpson car]
And to keep the show's animators, editors, staff, and hangers-on
from leaking the solution, two completely different endings were
produced: one real, one phony. Here's the ending you were never
meant to see.
-- The rumors laid to rest, "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"
Burns: The one who shot me was...[camera pans to Smithers]
Aah! Aah! Waylon Smithers!
Smithers: [pained] Noo! Wait a minute: yes.
Burns: With the sun blocker in place and the town aghast, I was on
top of the world. So I wanted to kick up my heels and indulge
my sweet tooth.
[walks toward parking lot]
I feel like celebrating. [sees Maggie] Oh, it's you. What
are you so happy about?
[she smiles, holding up a lollipop]
[gasps] I see.
[voiceover] Smithers had thwarted my earlier attempt to take
candy from a baby. But with him out of the picture, I was
free to wallow in my own crapulence. Or so I thought -- but
at the last moment, Smithers, drunk as a lemur, lurched out of
the darkness and fired.
Smithers: [remembering] That's right. Right before I shot Jasper. Hmm,
I was busy that night.
Burns: [voiceover] Stricken, I lurched forth in search of aid, but
finding only slack-jawed gawkers, I gave up and collapsed on
the sundial.
Lisa: Then, with your last ounce of strength, you pointed to W and
S: "Waylon Smithers".
Marge: Well, I'm just relieved that Homer's safe and that you've
recovered and that we can all get back to normal.
Burns: Not exactly. Smithers, for attempting to kill me, I'm giving
you a 5% pay cut.
Smithers: [howling] Ohh.
Troy: But of course, for that ending to work, you would have to
ignore all the Simpson DNA evidence. [laughs] And that would
be downright nutty.
-- The alternate ending to 2F20 ("Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part Two"), "The
Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"
The camera shows two photos of the Simpson family, one from an early
Tracy Ullman short, the other from a modern episode.
Troy: Yes, the Simpsons have come a long way since an old drunk made
humans out of his rabbit characters to pay off his gambling debts.
Who knows what adventures they'll have between now and the time
the show becomes unprofitable?
I'm Troy McClure, and I'll leave you with what we all came here to
see: hardcore nudity!
-- The credits roll, "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"
[End of Act Three. Time: 21:45]
Over the credits, "Shake Your Booty" plays, while we are treated to many
samples of nudity from the show, including: {ddg}
9F07 Barney's "diaper" comes off
1F22 Nelson removes Martin's swim trunks
1F01 Homer's impression of Mr. Burns
2F32 Bart as "Dr. Cheeks"
2F04 Willie's kilt is lifted
2F12 Homer's clown pants get caught in his mini-bicycle
2F13 "Don't tread on me"
2F06 Homer's robe lifted by the wind
9F08 baby Bart swings on a clothesline
7F18 Marge enters bathroom, sees nude Burns
2F07 Bart interrupts nude Homer/Marge
2F06 Homer getting out of the shower and seeing a helicopter
2F10 photo of Bart "riding" Snowball
9F04 naked Homer running from Krusty doll {cc}
1F18 Bart on the toilet
2F09 Homer dragging a stone chained to him {rl}
8F05 Rabbis in the sauna
9F13 Bart doing a Nixon impression
7G09 naked Homer in the forest
8F19 Homer throws his hat over the "camera" {rl}
Contributors
{cc} Chris Courtois
{ddg} Don Del Grande
{dh} Dominik Halas
{rl} Ricardo Lafaurie
{kp} Keith Palmer
{jp} John Plasket
===============================================================================
This episode summary is Copyright 1997 by James A. Cherry. Not to be
redistributed in a public forum without permission. (The quotes
themselves, of course, remain the property of The Simpsons, and the
reproduced articles remain the property of the original authors. I'm
just taking credit for the compilation.)