The Simpsons Archive's Simpsons Syndication Cuts Guide Season Four (1992-1993) "Syndication... is there anything they can't do?" Version 2.25 - 07 Apr 2001 Maintained by Chad Lehman With significant contributions from Tim Reardon Created by Frederic Briere [===========================[Season Four Summary]===========================] Story cut episodes: All episodes except 9F01, 9F12, 9F15. Compressed episodes: 9F01, 9F04, 9F12, 9F15, 9F19. Added content: 9F17 Story time cut: 12:06 (12 min 6 sec) Total time added: 0:02 (0 min 2 sec) Total time gained: 16:50 (16 min 50 sec) ==[ 8F24 ]=================================================== Kamp Krusty === CUTS: 37 seconds GAINED: 37 seconds 19:41 / 20:18 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 6:48 / 6:48 ~~~~~ ACT II <0:37> (0:37) 7:43 / 8:20 Marge: It's our last family dinner for six weeks, but I promised myself I wouldn't cry. [everybody else pigs in, chomping, munching and burping] Marge: [sobs] Oh, I'm going to miss this... % [Homer picks a pickle from Bart's plate] % Bart: Hey, hands off my pickle. % Homer: I don't see your name on it, boy. <0:12> % Bart: No, but... [licks it] % Homer: Oh yeah? [dumps it in Bart's glass of milk] Checkmate. % Bart: [in admiration] Always thinking two moves ahead. ~~ Lisa: I feel like I'm gonna die, Bart. Bart: We're all gonna die, Lis. Lisa: I meant soon. Bart: So did I. % Cut to a tennis court, with "Meanwhile, at Wimbledon" on-screen and % "Rule Britannia" playing for the introduction. Krusty is in the % audience, eating a bowl of... % % Krusty: Mmm... strawberries. Mmm. [slurps the whole bowl down] % Oh, it's great. <0:25> % [yelling] Hey, Lendl! Choke! Choke! Yeah! % P.A.: Point and game, Becker. And would the harlequin in the third % row please keep his voice down. % Krusty: [nervous chuckles] Sorry folks. [chuckles] % [turns to the next seat] Sorry your majesty. % Queen: Hmph. {mentioned in SCG by kstoner@pyramid.com} ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 5:10 / 5:10 ==[ 8F18 ]======================================= A Streetcar Named Marge === CUTS: 40 seconds GAINED: 40 seconds 19:40 / 20:20 No blackboard, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:04> (0:04) 5:03 / 5:07 Sinclair: I have directed three plays in my carreer, and I have had three heart attacks. % That's how much I care; I'm planning for a fourth. % % <0:04> {Don Del Grande (del_gran@ix.netcom.com)} ~~~~~ ACT II <0:33> (0:33) 5:03 / 5:36 Sinclair: I'm gonna crawl into bed with a bottle of Amaretto. Good day. % In bed, Homer plays a Bowling 2000 (which bears a huge resemblance with a % Game Boy), while Marge memorizes her lines. % % Homer: [excited] Easy, easy, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes... D'oh! % B2000: -7-10 spilt- % Marge: [putting the script down] Homer, could you run some lines with me? % Homer: Make Bart do it. % Marge: It'll just take a sec. % B2000: -Gutter ball- % Homer: D'oh! You see Marge, when you're up in your own little world, you % forget [pointing to the game] that other people have problems too! % % At the Ayn Rand School for Tots, Maggie desperately misses her pacifier % and tries some poor substitutes: her thumb, a crayon, an ABC cube, and even % a Bart doll. She sighs as she realizes it's just not the same. % % <0:33> {Don Del Grande (del_gran@ix.netcom.com)} ~~~~~ ACT III <0:03> (0:03) 9:34 / 9:37 Homer: You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt your feelings. Good night. [snores loudly] % Marge: [frustrated] Mhmmm! % % <0:03> {Don Del Grande (del_gran@ix.netcom.com)} ==[ 9F01 ]============================================= Homer the Heretic === GAINED: 45 seconds 19:57 / 20:42 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:18) 6:22 / 6:40 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:27) 8:40 / 9:07 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 4:55 / 4:55 ==[ 9F02 ]========================================= Lisa the Beauty Queen === CUTS: 41 seconds GAINED: 41 seconds 20:01 / 20:42 No blackboard, no solo, 1F01 couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:40> (0:40) 5:03 / 5:43 Homer test the "Guess Your Age and Weight" booth. % Bart is watching Otto operating "The Paralyser" -- some sort of Rock % & Roll ferris wheel. % % Bart: Hey, Otto Man, I dare you to make this thing go faster. % Otto: Ooh, challenge accepted! % [pulls a switch, the wheel goes faster] % [a capsule breaks off and crashes through the side of the % school, bursting into flames] % Otto: I'll be in Mexico until this thing blows over. % [runs away, pursued by many irate people] % % Milhouse is attracted by "Jimbo's Spookhouse". <40> % % Milhouse: Oh, boy, a spookhouse! [enters] % [all there is in there is Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney] % Kearney: Hand over all your money! % % Bart meets his friend as he comes out of the spookhouse. % % Bart: Was it scary? % Milhouse: [clutching his stomach in pain] Uh-huh... % Bart: Oh, baby! % [enters the Spookhouse] % Uh-oh... {gdkuch@neumann.uwaterloo.ca (Jerry Kuch)} {Ricardo Lafaurie } ! As many noted, this renders the meaning of the flaming wreckage a few ! scenes later meaningless at best. ~~~~~ ACT II <0:01> (0:01) 10:20 /10:21 % Bart's "provocating" posing is shortened by a second. ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 4:38 / 4:38 ==[ 9F04 ]======================================= Treehouse of Horror III === CUTS: 44 seconds GAINED:100 seconds 20:22 / 22:02 Opening included in teaser ~~~~~ TEASER <0:14> (0:17) 1:04 / 1:21 Homer: Come on, I dare you! [starts chuckling] Chicken! [someone does turn off the TV] Hey! % Marge: Homer! Did you just call everyone "chicken"? % Homer: Noooo. I swear on this Bible! % Marge: That's not a Bible; that's a book of carpet samples. % Homer: Ooooh... fuzzy. % % <0:14> {Ricardo Lafaurie } ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:17) 6:14 / 6:31 ~~~~~ ACT II <0:09> (0:27) 6:31 / 6:58 Lenny: Hey Homer, cut it out! Come on, quit eatin' me! % [Carl fires his rifle, hitting Lenny in the arm] % Lenny: Ow! [sarcastically] Nice shot, Carl! % [Homer shoves Lenny back in his mouth, swallows, then burps] % % <0:09> {Ricardo Lafaurie } ~~~~~ ACT III <0:21> (0:39) 6:33 / 7:12 Bart: Please Lis, they prefer to be called the "living-impaired". % Groundskeeper Willie has finished smoothing out the soil in the hedges. % % Willie: There, pretty as a picture! % [Zombies emerge, wrecking his sods] % Ach, zombies! % [smooths out the soil again] % There, pretty as a picture! % % <0:12> {Ricardo Lafaurie } ~~ Zombie1: Excuse me, John Smith. Zombie2: John Smith 1882? Zombie1: My mistake % In front of City Hall, Mayor Quimby addresses the gathering crowd. % % Quimby: The, aw, Zombies that plagued our town are now just corpses rotting % in our streets. % Crowd: [cheers] % [One zombie collapses in front of the "camera"] % % <0:09> {Ricardo Lafaurie } ==[ 9F03 ]=================================== Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie === CUTS: 41 seconds GAINED: 41 seconds 20:00 / 20:41 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:06> (0:06) 7:45 / 7:51 Homer: You know, I never thought I'd find a replacement for my "Where's the Beef?" bumper sticker. [laughing] Where's the beef... [walks away] % Ms.H: Er, we'd like the desk back, Mr. Simpson. <06> % Homer: Huh? [he's still stuck in the desk] [chuckles] Oh... ~~~~~ ACT II <0:35> (0:35) 6:25 / 7:00 On "Eye on Springfield", runs the footage of "Steamboat Itchy": [Itchy pulls Scratchy back from the oven] Itchy: Oh me, oh my. % The Itchy & Scratchy credits appear on-screen. Bart and Lisa are % laughing heartily, and Maggie leaves the couch. % % Kent: During the war, Itchy & Scratchy put their differences aside, % and teamed up to fight a bigger foe. % % Cut to another clip: Itchy and Scratchy have the Tom and Jerry look % and feel. Adolf Hitler gives his salute, and the cat and mouse % proceed to pummel him, Scratchy with a mallet, Itchy with a log, <35> % Scratchy with a giant wrench, and Itchy gives the final blow, % decapitating the Fuhrer with an axe. Sousa's "Stars and Stripes % Forever" continues to play as the cat and mouse shake hands, then % Itchy chops off Scratchy's head. The classic tongue comes out. A % cartoon Roosevelt dances on-screen (the music changes to "Happy Days % Are Here Again") and kicks what's left of Hitler and Scratchy in the % rear end. Itchy holds a sign, "Save Scrap Iron". % % Kent: We'll be back with a real-life Itchy & Scratchy: a rabid mouse % in Boston who attacked and killed a small cat. [chuckles] [Bart and Lisa laugh again] Homer: Bart, didn't I ask you to watch Maggie? {Ricardo Lafaurie } {description taken from J.D. Baldwin's I&S guide} ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 5:50 / 5:50 ==[ 9F05 ]============================================== Marge Gets a Job === CUTS: 42 seconds GAINED: 42 seconds 19:58 / 20:40 No blackboard, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 5:35 / 5:35 ~~~~~ ACT II <0:02> (0:02) 5:04 / 5:06 % Lisa's typewriting is cut by one line and a half. <0:02> ~~~~~ ACT III <0:40> (0:40) 9:19 / 9:59 % Act starts 2 seconds later, therefore cutting a part of Burns' shadowy % appearance. % <0:02> ~~ Burns: All right then, bring me that crooner she likes so much: Tom Jones. % Another theme day is held at SNPP as a banner reads: "Yee Haw! It's % country wednesday" % % Karl: [to another guy] These spurs are killing me. % Lenny: [walks in] Hey! Sit on it. % Karl: Buddy, 50s day is next wednesday. % Lenny: I got to go home and change! [gets out] % [a motorcycle roars] % <0:15> ~~ ! Don Del Grande mentions: ! [...] there was a reference to Tourette's Syndrome in the first ! showing that was changed to Rabies when it was repeated. Strangely ! enough, when that episode was shown in syndication, it went back to ! Tourette's Syndrome. ! ! It was reintroduced indeed, but Bart's barking was meticulously removed. Mrs. K: Bart, to avoid this test, you've had smallpox, the bends, and that unfortunate bout of Tourette's syndrome. Bart: I'm not sure I'm over it ... % Shove it, witch! [Click] [Click] Rrrrr, rrrrr, rrrrr! Arrrr, % arrrr, arrrr! Mrs. K: No more excuses. [hands him his test] Bart: [mumbling] % [barking again] % <0:05> ~~ Krusty: I only ate one! % Wolfie passes by Wiggum and Eddie -- eating donuts as usual -- crushing % a Buzz Cola can in his path. Wiggum comments: "Nice doggie." % <0:06> ~~ ! Even though many have thought the Springfield's Most Wanted special was ! insulting, it did reveal some unreleases scenes, like this one: Burns: You're fired! Marge: You can't fire me just because I'm married. # Burns: All right, I'm firing you because you won't have sex with me. ~~ Willy: Don't feel bad for losing. I was wrestling wolves when you were back at your mother's teat! % As Marge packs her things, Burns draws the usual mustache, beard, horns % and files around her on the surveilance monitor. % % Burns: Why, Marge, look at all those flies buzzing around your head. % You're a mess, woman. [laughs evilly] % <0:12> ==[ 9F06 ]====================================== The New Kid on the Block === CUTS: 11 seconds GAINED: 11 seconds 19:59 / 20:10 No blackboard, 1F01 couch ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 3:28 / 3:28 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (----) 10:03 /10:03 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:11> (0:11) 6:28 / 6:39 At the Springfield Courthouse, Captain McAllister begins his testimony. % Captain: 'Twas a moonless night, dark as pitch, when out the mist % came a beast more stomach than man. <0:11> % Homer: Hey! % Captain: So I says to my [?] "Batten down the mizzenmast, mates". Hutz: Captain McAllister, isn't it a fact that you're not a real captain? Captain: [in shame] Aye. ==[ 9F07 ]====================================================== Mr. Plow === CUTS: 41 seconds GAINED: 41 seconds 20:01 / 20:42 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 5:18 / 5:18 ~~~~~ ACT II <0:28> (0:28) 6:09 / 6:37 Barney loses his diaper, much to his mother's surprise. % The next sunday, in church... % % Rev.: And now, to read from the epistles of Saint Paul, Homer % Simpson. % Homer: [clears throat] Dear Lord, in your infinite wisdom, you know <0:23> % the number to call when you need a plow is KLondike-5-3226. % Rev.: Homer, this is *really* low... % Homer: Not as low as my low, low prices! % Rev.: [snaps his finger; two men come on stage] % Homer: [dragged away] That's Mr. Plow! At home, Homer laments. Homer: Oh, I'm gonna lose my plow. Lisa: Dad, have you ever considered buying cheep commercial time on channel 92? Check it out. On the aforementioned channel runs an ad by Captain McAllister. Cap'n: Arr! 90 Sea Chantes on three compact disks. [singing] Blow the man down, baby, blow the man down... Row, row, row your boat... In the navy... Come on and join your fellow man! <0:05> % Act now and get a bonus CD: Hornpipe Fever. Arr! {Ricardo Lafaurie } ~~~~~ ACT III <0:13> (0:13) 8:34 / 8:47 To prove Homer & Barney wrong, God decides to heat things up a little and melts all the snow. The elders at Springfield Retirement Castle can go outside again, but Abe doesn't like "the looks of those teenagers". % On "My Two Cents", Kent editorializes once again. % % Kent: Could this record-breaking heat wave be the result of the <0:13> % dreaded "greenhouse effect"? Well, if 70-degree days in the % middle of winter are the "price" of car pollution, you'll % forgive me if I keep my old Pontiac. [chuckles] {mhendren@students.uiuc.edu} ==[ 9F08 ]============================================ Lisa's First Words === CUTS: 28 seconds GAINED: 28 seconds 19:58 / 20:26 No blackboard, no solo, 1F01 couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:18> (0:18) 7:56 / 8:14 Homer and Marge go househunting: The first house is in the "Rat's Nest"; The second one is filled with odors of melted hog fat; % The third one is a houseboat, owned by Captain McAllister himself. % % Cap'n: Argh, why buy a house, when ye can buy a houseboat? % [a shark pops his head out of the water] % Cap'n: Excuse me. <18> % [grabs a knife between his teeth and jumps in the water] % [fighting sounds can be heard] % [the shark emerges for a moment, holding McAllister in its % jaws] % Cap'n: Don't forget to check out the galley. That's real shag % carpeting. Argh! ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (----) 7:19 / 7:19 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:10> (0:10) 4:43 / 4:53 Homer celebrates USA's victory over Suede in boxing, % and goes to Krusty Burger, where people are either holding their % tickets or carrying dozens of burgers, while chanting "U.S.A.!" <10> % % Wiggum: Carl Lewis, I could kiss you! [kisses his ticket] ==[ 9F09 ]========================================= Homer's Triple Bypass === CUTS: 34 seconds GAINED: 34 seconds 19:55 / 20:34 No blackboard, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:33> (0:33) 7:45 / 8:18 Shot of the ambulance rushing to the hospital. % Next thing we know, the ambulance is stopped... at a deer crossing. % % Driver: [as a deer crosses] Wow, look at that. How do they know to cross % there? % Homer: [in pain] Ohhhhh... % % Homer is finally taken to the emergency room, where several patients are % waiting, including Mr. Roman (injured arm), Jacques (fingers stuck in a % bowling ball), Groundskeeper Willy (both arms injured), Jasper (beard stuck % in a bicycle), Akira (hand stuck in a wooden board), Apu (bullet wounds), % and Sideshow Mel, who's stuck in a cannon: % % Mel: I'm telling you, it's not going to work. % [cannon is lit, then blows off] % [still stuck in the cannon, his face black with powder] See? % % Even Chief Wiggum is there, having some problems with a sandwich... % % Eddie: He was taking a bite and his jaw locked. % Lou: Hey, look: I can fit my entire fist in it! % Wiggum: [muffled] Hey! Hey! Hey! Pull it out! % Lou: What's that, chief? % Wiggum: Pull it out. % [off-screen, the "Bad cops" theme is played] % <0:33> ~~~~~ ACT II <0:01> (0:01) 5:26 / 5:27 % Homer stares at the "Maharishi" guy one second less. <0:01> ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 6:49 / 6:49 ==[ 9F10 ]======================================== Marge vs. the Monorail === CUTS: 42 seconds GAINED: 42 seconds 19:59 / 20:41 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 7:24 / 7:24 ~~~~~ ACT II <0:27> (0:27) 5:37 / 6:04 Lanley: You there, eating the paste! % TV: Coming soon, it's Truckasaurus: The Movie, starring Marlon Brando % as the voice of John Truckasaurus. % Brando: You crazy car, I don't know whether to eat you or kiss you. % TV: Celebrity voice impersonated. % % <0:14> ~~ Homer: The kids could call you Ho-Ju. Bart: [appropriate pause] I'll get back to you. % Bart and Homer are watching Barney, who's guiding a crane in placing the % train on the tracks. % % Barney: Come on, keep it coming. Over, over, mm-hmm, mm-hmm... % Hi, Homer! [waves] % [crane operator drops the train on a house] % Oh, I hate that sound... % % <0:13> {mhendren@students.uiuc.edu} ~~~~~ ACT III <0:15> (0:15) 6:58 / 7:13 Cobb: I shouldn't have stopped for that haircut. Sorry. % In the luxury car of the monorail, complete with painting of the Hindenburg % disaster, Kent toasts with Kyle Derin, as Leonard Nimoy is telling Star % Trek anecdotes to an obviously uninterested gentleman. % % Nimoy: Actually, you see, the doors on Star Trek were not mechanical; we % had a stagehand on either side who would pull the door open when he % saw you approach. % Man: Uh-huh... % % <0:15> {mhendren@students.uiuc.edu} ~~ As seen in the commercial: # Krusty laments "I've never been with a woman!" as he thinks they're all # going to die. # # {Toonhead@tiac.net (Joseph D. Cabrera)} ==[ 9F11 ]================================================ Selma's Choice === CUTS: 46 seconds GAINED: 46 seconds 19:56 / 20:42 No blackboard, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:23> (0:23) 6:59 / 7:22 Selma: He's hugging us. What do we do? Patty: Just close your eyes and think of MacGyver. % Homer grunts as he loads their luggage into the car, which is rather quite % loaded as it is. % % Bart: Hey, Homer, this luggage is crushing me! % Homer: Hey, you don't hear Lisa complaining. % [shot of Lisa being stamped on the window] % <0:11> ~~ Marge tries to remember Aunt Gladys, but gets confused with "Prince of Tides". % Back on the road, the kids are looking through the rear window: % % Bart+Lisa: Five... Six... Seven... Eight... % Marge: What are you kids playing? % Bart: Counting game. % Marge: That's nice. % [as luggage keep falling from the roof of the car] % Bart+Lisa: Nine... [thud] Ten... [thud] % % <0:12> {marked in the capsule by Ricardo Lafaurie} ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (----) 6:24 / 6:24 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:23> (0:23) 6:33 / 6:56 At Duff Gardens, Bart is fiddling with Washington's pants. % Meanwhile, at home, Homer is resting in bed with his Foam Dome on his head. % % Marge: Are you feeling any better? % Homer: No. What are the odds of getting sick on a Saturday? A thousand to % one... % Marge: Well, to cheer you up, I rented a couple of videos: "Boxing's % Greatest Weigh-Ins", and "Yentl". % Homer: Yentl? What's that? % Marge: It deals with a bookish young woman's efforts to enter rabbinical % school. % Homer: Sounds great! % Marge: Oh my god, you're delirious! % % <0:23> {marked in the capsule by Ricardo Lafaurie} ==[ 9F12 ]================================== Brother from the Same Planet === GAINED: 77 seconds 19:55 / 21:12 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:20) 5:06 / 5:26 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:24) 6:24 / 6:48 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:33) 8:25 / 8:58 ==[ 9F13 ]=================================================== I Love Lisa === CUTS: 30 seconds GAINED: 30 seconds 19:55 / 20:25 ~~~~~ ACT I <0:08> (0:08) 7:48 / 7:56 Homer: What? That's highway robbery, I won't pay it. Apu: Oh, I think you will... % Homer: Forget it pal! [walks off] % [Apu is calmly humming, while Homer hesitates more and more, until % he finally comes back] % <0:08> ~~~~~ ACT II <0:22> (0:22) 5:53 / 6:15 % Krusty: I've worked with marvelous second bananas over the years, but none % more memorable than Sideshow Raheem. % % Clip of Krusty with a tall Afro-American sideshow, wearing sunglasses. % % Krusty: Uh, the script says I'm supposed to bonk you with this [holds a big % mallet]. % Raheem: [calmly] I wouldn't. % Krusty: [makes a peace sign] Right on... [groans queasily] % % Back to reality... % % Krusty: Angry, angry young man. Now, for my favorite part of the show... <0:22> {avarhola@ids.net (Aaron Varhola)} ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 6:14 / 6:14 ==[ 9F14 ]====================================================== Duffless === CUTS: 72 seconds GAINED: 72 seconds 19:59 / 21:11 (CBC) CUTS: 77 seconds GAINED: 77 seconds 19:54 No blackboard, no solo, 1F01 couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:03> (0:03) 7:39 / 7:42 (CBC) <0:08> (0:08) 7:34 At the start of the Duff Brewery Tour, the signs are: % * Prohibition got you down? % % [some '30s doctor] <03> % % Drink Doctor Duff's % HEALTH TONIC * I knew he was a COMMIE 'cause he didn't drink [man getting arrested] Duff BEER ~~ At the tasting room: [05] / Homer: Hmmm... gummi beers... [eats some] [walks to Barney] Hey, Barney, I think you've had enough. ~~~~~ ACT II <0:21> (0:21) 5:50 / 6:11 Wiggum: Now, if any of you even *think* of drinking and driving again, this film will scare the pants off of you. % Then we see a footage of... Wiggum in bathing suit, eating hot-dogs % and drinking beer in one of those baby pools (just like Homer in % [9F06]). The view of this makes a woman in the audience scream in % fear. % % Wiggum: Guys, guys, this is the wrong movie! Oh, wait a second, I do % something really funny here. % <21> % Back to the movie, Wiggum waves to the camera, then conspiraciously % indicates the cameraman to be quiet. The camera pans to Mrs. Wiggum, % holding a tray of food, whom Wiggum manages to spray with the hose. % Soaked from head to toe, she doesn't seem to find this as funny as % his husband does. % % Back in the present, Wiggum is still laughing at the incident, but % sighs when he realizes nobody else is. Lou puts the right movie in % place. A countdown appears on-screen, followed by Troy's introduction. ~~~~~ ACT III <0:48> (0:48) 6:30 / 7:18 At the science fair, Milhouse's stand is entitled "How Gravity Works" Milhouse: Behold gravity, in all its glory! [pushes a slinky down a slanted wood panel] [the slinky is stuck after one loop] Edna: Pretty lame, Milhouse. % At a volcanoes stand, a man is working on a volcano model (which even % makes smoke) with a kid on his side. % % Kid: Can I touch it? % Man: I've worked too long and hard on this for you to screw it up % now. % Kid: But it's got my name on it... % Man: Just stand over there. % [kid goes away] <24> % Man: Over there! % % At another stand, Martin is in a flying balloon. % % Martin: Behold the flying machine that will carry me, Phileas Fogg, % around the world in 80 days. % [Nelson, from his "Wasting Squirrels With B.B. Guns" stand, % grabs a gun and shoots the balloon, which deflates on % Martin] % Nelson: Dang! I was aiming for his head... ~~ Between the 15th and the next AA meeting, % Homer is attending one of those home-product-demonstration nights % held in his living room. % % Patty: Thank you all for coming. We've got some very interesting % developments in the field of Supperware. <24> % Selma: Uh-huh. This is the 128-ounce tub. You can fit your whole head % in it. [does so] % [Jubjub, which she brought with her, is scared by the sight % of her "slighly" deformed head through green plastic] % Selma: Don't be scared Jubjub. It's mama. % Homer: [to himself] I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of % sweet beer... ==[ 9F15 ]====================================== Last Exit to Springfield === GAINED: 64 seconds 20:07 / 21:11 No blackboard, 1F01 couch ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:20) 7:01 / 7:21 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:21) 7:09 / 7:30 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:23) 5:57 / 6:20 ==[ 9F17 ]=================== So It's Come to This: A Simpson's Clip Show === CUTS: 46 seconds GAINED: 44 seconds 19:57 / 20:41 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 3:57 / 3:57 ~~~~~ ACT II <0:25> (0:23) 8:54 / 9:17 Vet: Homer has many, many horrible problems. These shadows are brain lesions, resulting from numerous blows to the head. - Bart throws a baseball at Homer. [7G11] - Homer is hit by a pitch. [8F13] - Homer is hit on the head by a circular saw. [8F06] - Homer falls asleep in the Kwik-E-Mart doors. [8F06] <25> % - The whole "Psycho" scene. [7F09] {jojw@troi.cc.rochester.edu (John J. Wood)} ~~ <-2> % Homer gurgling is LONGER in syndication. ~~~~~ ACT III <0:21> (0:21) 7:06 / 7:27 Burns tries to unplug Homer with the help of Nick Riviera, but to no avail. % Later that night, Frink comes by with a plan of his own. % % Frink: I have an unorthodox solution; a fantastic voyage if you will. % N'hey-hey! Three scientists -- one a beautiful woman -- will % be shrunk to microscopic size. They will then rendez-vous in <11> % Mr. Simpson's lower colon. % [shows diagram] % All: Eww! % Frink: Well, we *have* had a little trouble finding volunteers. % N'hey-hey... {jojw@troi.cc.rochester.edu (John J. Wood)} ~~ ! The next scene has been (erroneously) reported many times as an ! outtake from "Bart the Daredevil" [7F06]. I'll let Ricardo Lafaurie ! shed some light on this: ! ! Actually, that scene was _not_ in 7F06; the animation was new and ! created for this episode. You can tell because the animation in ! the new scenes are done much differently than the rest of it. When Homer falls down the cliff a second time, we see him again: he's even more badly injured than before. And instead of a skateboard, it's the litter [ouch!] which punches his head into the ground. ==[ 9F16 ]===================================================== The Front === CUTS: 6 seconds GAINED: 6 seconds 19:56 / 20:02 No blackboard, 1F01 couch ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 6:33 / 6:33 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (----) 6:43 / 6:43 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:06> (0:06) 6:40 / 6:46 Krusty: I have nothing to work with here. Nothing! [walks off] Brooke: Uh... % Krusty: Well, at least I can take off this girdle. % [unzipping sound] % Krusty: [grunts] % Oh yeah... % <0:06> ! This is perhaps the only cut where there is no change of camera perspective ! involved. As the screen is almost still during Krusty's line, that wasn't ! necessary. ==[ 9F18 ]================================================== Whacking Day === CUTS: 77 seconds GAINED: 77 seconds 19:55 / 21:12 No blackboard, 1F01 couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:50> (0:50) 4:55 / 5:45 After locking the kids in Utility Basement B: % Skinner: Would the world judge me harshly if I threw away the key? % Willy: No, but the PTA would tear you a new arse. % Skinner: Nice counsel William, but the potty talk adds nothing. % Willy: Aye sir. You bath-taking, underpants-wearing lily-hugger. % % <0:13> ~~ Skinner: "... he's not made of stone!" % Groundskeeper Willie tends to his tractor. % % Willy: Ah, my beauty, wait till the superintendent sees you. Were it not a % violation of God's laws, I'd make you my wife! % Lass: Now that's a lonely man. % [A beautiful red-haired woman dressed in Scottish fashion shows up] % Willy: [gulps, then removes his hat] % Lass: I'm new in town. Be there a cool loch where a lass could wash her % long red hair? % Willy: Nay, but there's a pool at me apartment complex. There was a rat at % the deep end, but we got it! % Lass: Ah! Lead on. % % <0:35> ~~ % The first time the tractor's valve opens has been cut. <0:01> ~~ % Act ends a second sooner. <0:01> ~~~~~ ACT II <0:26> (0:26) 8:28 / 8:54 ! Stay with me, as this "Eye on Sprinfield" footage was heavily edited. Pan of Springfield's center. % Two men whack snakes, then an old lady slowly comes forward... <0:04> ~~ ... and does the same. Richard Nixon walks by, takes a stick... % ... smiles to the camera... <0:02> ~~ ... hits the man holding the snake... % Nixon: Is whacking day over? % [crows boos] % Thank you, thank you for coming! % <0:08> ~~ Marge: I'm your new teacher, my name is Mrs. Simpson. [chuckles] Bart: [chuckles nervously] % The clock slowly ticks the seconds, as Bart looks quite bored. % <0:06> After Bart annoyed Marge with usual noises ("I didn't do it!"), % we get to see the clock slowly ticking, and Bart getting bored. % <0:06> ~~ Apu: I should have put more thought into my promotion. % Meanwhile, the Springfield cops take target practice at paper snakes. % <0:06> ~~~~~ ACT III <0:01> (0:01) 6:32 / 6:33 % Lisa looks back at Bart after she hears Barry White outside. <0:01> ==[ 9F20 ]=============================================== Marge in Chains === CUTS: 47 seconds GAINED: 47 seconds 19:58 / 20:45 No blackboard, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:47> (0:47) 7:10 / 7:57 Man: I'm cured! I mean, ouch! % Not even the Flanders family has escaped the scourge of the Osaka % flu. % % Rod: Dad, Todd's speaking in tongues! % Todd: [babbling] % Ned: I wish he were, Rod. I pray for the day, but I'm afraid he's just % delirious from fever. % Maude: Oh, Neddy, why has God forsaken us? % Ned: I can't imagine what we could've done to... [gasps] Oh, no! % % Flashback to Ned watching "Married with Children"... % % Al: Hey, Peg, you gotta take better care of the house. These plants are % all lifeless and limp. % Peg: Maybe they'd feel more at home in the bedroom, Al! % [crowd hooting and cheering] % Ned: [laughs] % [thunderclap and lightning] % Ned: Uh-oh... % % Back to reality... % % Ned: Oh, the network slogan is true: watch FOX and be damned for all % eterniny! % % <0:47> {Ricardo Lafaurie } ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (----) 7:32 / 7:32 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 5:16 / 5:16 ==[ 9F19 ]========================================= Krusty Gets Kancelled === CUTS: 1 seconds GAINED: 45 seconds 20:00 / 20:45 No blackboard, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:15) 5:24 / 5:39 ! The 138th Episode Spectacular revealed some scenes which were removed from ! the original version, probably meant to end the act. # Krusty: Watch my show, I will send you this book featuring me in a variety # of sexually explicit positions. # [men drag him off] What? Hey! It's not really me: I used a stunt # butt! # [later, Krusty looks dejected as three men walk up] # Man 1: Krusty, we're from the network. Uh, we have some bad news: I'm # afraid your show's been canceled. # Krusty: Oh, I thought this would happen. I just hope you replace me with # something as educational and uplifting as I tried to be. # Man 2: Actually, it's a hemorrhoid infomercial starring Claude Akins. # Krusty: Can I play hemorrhoid sufferer number one? Ooh! Oh, that hurts! Ow! # Oh, is there no relief? # Man 1: I don't think so. [they start to walk off] # Krusty: How about one of the "after" guys? Aah. Ohh, that's better. I can # ride a bike again! # Man 1: Sorry. # # |0:44| {The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular [3F31]} ~~~~~ ACT II <0:01> (0:15) 4:47 / 5:02 Anncr.: And now, the Crazy Old Man singers! Singers: The gray old mare, she ain't what she used to be Ain't what she used to be % Ain't what she used to be % <0:01> ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:15) 9:49 /10:04 * Compressed until Krusty's special begins ==[ ---- ]===================================================================