The Simpsons Archive's Simpsons Syndication Cuts Guide Season Two (1990-1991) "Syndication... is there anything they can't do?" Version 2.25 - 07 Apr 2001 Last updated 04 Oct 2003 Maintained by Matt Garvey Guide created by Frederic Briere Contributions from Chad Lehman and Tim Reardon [============================[Season Two Summary]===========================] Story cut episodes: All except 7F03, 7F05, 7F07, 7F09, 7F14(?). Compressed episodes: All uncut episodes are compressed, in addition to 7F04, 7F15, 7F16, 7F20. Story time cut: 17:29 (17 min 29 sec) Total time gained: 23:05 (23 min 5 sec) ==[ 7F03 ]================================================ Bart Gets An F === CUTS: 1 seconds GAINED: 49 seconds 19:58 / 20:47 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:26) 9:06 / 9:32 ~~~~~ ACT II <0:01> (0:15) 5:17 / 5:32 <0:01> % Otto: Get off the bus or forever hold your peace, little dudes! ! Maybe it was some local glitch, but I think I remember seeing this ! cut before. ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:08) 5:35 / 5:43 * Compressed until Bart goes to the basement. ==[ 7F02 ]=========================================== Simpson and Delilah === CUTS: 49 seconds GAINED: 49 seconds 19:38 / 20:27 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:03> (0:03) 6:09 / 6:12 Man: The odds are Dimoxinyl can help me grow as much or as little hair as I want to... <0:03> % Hey... Today, I’m gonna do it! ~~~~~ ACT II <0:15> (0:15) 5:39 / 5:54 Singer: Happy Anniversary, Mrs. Homer Simpson. [sings] You are so beautiful. To meeee... <0:02> % [shouts] Yeah! [sings] You are so beautiful, to me... ~~ Marge: I you, Homer! Homer: [fumbling] I love , Karl... ep--Marge! % The board meeting starts. % <0:03> % Burns: [bored] Proceed, Smithers... % Smithers: Umm... Our first issue, sir, is our... ~~ Burns: [angry] Fish sticks? What in blazes are you talking about?! % Homer: Well, sir, they cut the head off the fish, and chop up % the rest into sticks. And then put seasoned bread crumbs <0:07> % on it... % Burns: Phhpt! I know what fish sticks are! Get to the point! ~~ Karl: Mr. Simpson! Don’t sit on that filthy thing one second longer! They’ve given ... the KEY! <0:03> % Homer: [gasp] The KEY! ~~~~~ ACT III <0:31> (0:31) 7:50 / 8:21 ! The first scene of the act. % Simpson back yard. Castle tree house, Satellite Dish. % Marge massages Dimoxinyl into Homer's hair. He wears a Hawaiian % shirt, shades, and a pony tail. % % Marge: Between your hair care products and a new wardrobe, % we’re not saving anything for a rainy day. % % Homer lifts his sunglasses. <0:18> % % Homer: [giddy] Rainy day? There's never going to BE a rainy day, % Marge! There’s not a cloud in the Simpson sky! [to Lisa] And % what does my little girl want? % Lisa: An absence of mood swings, and some stability in my life. % Homer: [confused] Er--ay... How 'bout a pony? % Lisa: Okay! ! Later, after the Dimoxinyl spills, Homer says "You've been ! squirreling it [money] away, right Marge? That's what you said..." ! The meaning is lost, because the first scene of act III was cut... ~~ Burns: Now, go and make an example of this hooligan! <0:03> % Smithers: With pleasure, sir. ~~ Smithers: Dead man coming through. <0:04> % Burns: Well, well, well. Our dashing young executive... You made a hollow mockery of our morning meeting, Simpson. I should fire you on the spot! [softening] But, I’m not going to... Homer: Why? % Burns: Simpson, how old do you think I am? <0:06> % Homer: I 'unno. Hundred'n two? % Burns: [sadly shakes head] I'm only eighty-one... ! Burns' "You made a hollow ," overlaps on the view of the stage in ! syndication, which was originally "Well, well, well." ! This scene is quoted as reason to believe Burns is not over 100 ! years old--but it was cut. Since this was in season 2, there is ! good support for Burns being in his 80s. But alas... Those ! pesky syndicators got us again... *SIGH* ==[ 7F04 ]=========================================== Treehouse of Horror === CUTS: 79 seconds GAINED:110+seconds 20:23 / 22:13+ ~~~~~ TEASER <----> (?:??) 0:37 / 0:37+ ~~~~~ ACT I <0:51> (1:04) 6:36 / 7:40 Marge: Well, that does it. Children, get dressed, we're leaving. % Homer: Aw, come on Marge! You said you'd sleep on it. % Marge: I don't care what I said. This family's had its differences, % and we've squabbled, but we never had knife fights before, and % I blame this house. % Lisa: Mom, Dad, look! % [Lisa has opened the door to the basement, which reveals to] % [be filled with tombstones] % Lisa: It's an ancient Indian burial ground... % Bart: Man, this place has got everything! <0:51> % Homer: An ancient Indian WHAT? % [grabs the phone and dials] % [angrily] Mr. Plute? Homer Simpson here. When you sold me this % house, you forgot to mention one little thing: you didn't tell % me it was built ON AN INDIAN BURIAL GROUND! ... NO YOU DIDN'T! % ... Well, that's not recollection. ... Yeah? Well... all % right, goodbye. % [hangs up] % He says he mentioned it five or six times. % Marge: Let's go children. Homer: Aw, gee Marge! Marge: Homer! ~~~~~ ACT II <0:04> (0:19) 7:21 / 7:40 ! The lighter fluid scene was edited -- for the better? worse? ! (Some folks say this happened too for Lisa the Vegetarian [3F03].) ! Here'a a frame-by-frame analysis (approx frame number): The bottle is tilted at 45 degrees First spray (25) Identical one (25) Pause (10) A longer shot follows (50) % Homer pivots the fluid can a bit, so that it's almost vertical % A medium shot (40) <0:04> % A short one (25) % Same shot again (25) Homer sprays all over the gril (100) Pause (40) Finally, Homer squeezes everything out of the bottle ~~~~~ ACT III <0:24> (0:27) 5:49 / 6:16 Narrator: Perched, and sat, and nothing more. [view of the Raven] % Homer: [chuckles] Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou, % Narrator: I said, % Homer: art sure no craven, % Ghastly grim and ancient Raven % wandering from the Nightly shore % Tell me, Tell me what thy lordly name % is on the Night's Plutonian shore! <0:24> % Narrator: Quoth the Raven: % Bart: Eat my shorts! % Lisa: Bart, stop it! He says "Nevermore", and that's all he'll % ever say. % Bart: Okay, okay. % [view of the chamber] % [view of the raven] Homer: Ooh. [sniffs] {mentioned in SCG by kstoner@pyramid.com} ~~ * Compression ends after this cut. ==[ 7F01 ]=={ dv }==== Two Cars In Every Garage, Three Eyes On Every Fish === CUTS: 52 seconds GAINED: 52 seconds 19:57 / 20:49 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:26> (0:26) 6:32 / 6:58 Mr. Burns sings "Brother, Can You Spare a Dime" as he trudges down the empty corridors. % He continues singing and trudging down the corridors and tosses the % empty bottle aside with a clatter. % % The noise wakes Homer, asleep at his post. % Homer: Uhh... just resting my eyes. % Holy moly, 9:30. <0:26> % [calls home] Hello Marge. Sorry I didn't call, but it's been a % madhouse here. Yeah, these 12 hour days are killing me. % % Homer walks through the corridors. % % Homer: Echo! [this is echoed through the corridors] % Hee hee hee hee. In the parking lot, Homer hears Monty Burns' voice singing from his luxury car. ~~~~~ ACT II <0:16> (0:16) 6:08 / 6:24 Marge and Homer hold up opposing campaign signs, and Lisa and Bart wear campaign T-shirts. Marge's sign: An Independent Voter for Bailey Lisa's T-shirt: I wish I were old enough to vote for Bailey. % Bart's T-shirt: My dad told me to vote for Burns. % Homer's sign: I'm a fool for Burns. % % Meanwhile... % % Burns: Have you, uh, found any dirt on Mary Bailey? <0:16> % Advisor 1: Well, we've gone through her garbage. % Advisor 2: We talked to her maid. % Advisor 1: And so far, the only negative thing we have found is from % some guy who dated her when she was 16. % Burns: Ah. And? % Advisor 2: He, uh, he felt her up. % Burns: Bah! Not good enough! Monty Burns gives a fiery speech. Bart: Is your boss governor yet? Homer: Not yet, son, not yet. ! Note that only Marge's sign and Lisa's T-shirt was shown in ! syndication. {Ricardo Lafaurie } ~~~~~ ACT III <0:10> (0:10) 7:17 / 7:27 Burns: I love dogs. Babies too. % Just then Snowball II knocks Burns over. % % Burns: Kitty, kitty. [kisses Snowball II] <0:10> % Homer: You all right, Mr. Burns? % Burns: Oh of course. Roughousing with the pets is good for a man's % appetite. The crowd outside enters the house and the family and Burns are seated at the dinner table. ==[ 7F05 ]================================================= Dancin' Homer === GAINED: 52 seconds 19:39 / 20:32 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:26) 9:01 / 9:27 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:15) 5:06 / 5:21 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:11) 5:33 / 5:44 * Compression up to Marge's "I don't know..." ==[ 7F08 ]========================================== Dead Putting Society === CUTS: 51+seconds GAINED: 51+seconds 19:57 / 20:48+ No blackboard, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:48+> (0:48+) 8:10 / 8:58+ Rev.: Oh. Probably stepped on a worm... % [mumbles] Hello, Ned. % <0:03> ~~ Homer: "And yet, I feel a great sadness" [tries to stifle a giggle] "in my bosom." [Homer and the kids finally lose it and laugh uproariously] % Homer: Wait, wait, there's more! % Marge: I think it's terrible! A man opens his heart and you make fun of % him! % [she walks to the next room, where she giggles, then returns] % Homer: "Neighbors forever" Oh no! % [they all laugh] % "Ned Flanders." % [laughs again] % Bart: What a sap! % Lisa: [wiping off a tear] Read the bosom part again, Dad. % % <0:22> ~~ Homer takes Bart and Maggie to miniature golf. % At the aligator hole... % % Homer: Fore! [putts the ball] % [It goes right in the center hole... which deposits the ball in the % parking lot] % But I got it in the middle... % [A passing car kicks the ball down the street] % D'oh! Now, it was just a practice shot, boy. % Bart: Play it where it lays, Homer. % % <0:23> ~~~~~ ACT II <0:03> (0:03) 6:13 / 6:16 Homer: [raises the putter, about to wallop Bart with it] I'll show you who Charlene is! Now start hating! Bart: Grrrrrrrr... rrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!! [loses enthusiasm] % Todd: [from outside, looking just like the picture] Hi Bart! % % <0:03> ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 5:34 / 5:34 ==[ 7F07 ]========================================= Bart vs. Thanksgiving === CUTS: 1 second GAINED: 50 seconds 19:59 / 20:49 No blackboard, no solo, 1F01 couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:01> (0:23) 8:00 / 8:23 <01> % Act ends 1 second sooner. ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:13) 4:46 / 4:59 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:14) 7:13 / 7:27 * Compression ends with Bart's illusion. ==[ 7F06 ]=========================================== Bart, The Daredevil === CUTS: 68 seconds GAINED: 58 seconds 18:57 / 19:55 7F10 blackboard, 7F08 couch ! The July 1, 1993 FOX airing was cut when compared to the Best of ! the Simpsons Box Set (#2) version. Apparently, the premier of 7F06 ! was also cut... to make room for "Do The Bartman." I'm assuming the ! 7/1/93 cut version is the same, since FOX aired this... two years ! prior to syndication cuts. If anyone can verify this, I'd be much ! obliged. ! This original "cut" version also compressed Act I--but aside ! from that, there is absolutely no difference from the syndicated ! version. ~~~~~ ACT I <0:03> (-0:07) 6:23 / 6:16 * Fox's original "cut" Act I was compressed down to 6:13, and the * full "uncut" version Act I was also compressed, when as compared to * the syndication version. 6:16, minus three seconds cut, plus * 10 seconds saved by compression = 6:23. No compression was used in * syndication. Bart/Homer: Truckasaurus! [They hug] % At dinner, Homer swallows then smiles. He taps his glass w/a fork. <0:03> % Shot of Maggie playing with her food. The cat and dog stop eating, % and look Homer's way. View of Marge, as Homer taps his glass again. Homer: I have an announcement to make... ~~ * Fox's original version ends compression, before this scene. The shot of the school auditorium, as we hear the orchestra tune up. <0:00> % Skinner: People, let's have good assembly manners, please. Hmm? People... [getting annoyed] People! ! Yep. Just to verify... this voice-over is missing in syndication, ! as well as Fox's cut version. No video is cut. ~~~~~ ACT II <0:50> (0:50) 5:51 / 6:41 Insurance Guy: This check should take care of everything. Marge: Thank you, so much! % Leo: Uh Mrs. Simpson? Ah, I'm Leo G. Clark... inventor, % owner, and operator of Truckasaurus. Lemme just say % that... Truckasaurus feels very badly about what % happened and... everyone here at Team Truckasaurus % would like you to enjoy this [producing bottle] % half-bottle of domestic champagne for being such good % sports. [Pic of Truckasaurus on bottle's label] % Marge: [takes it; pleased] Oh, well thank you. [Maggie % reaches for it] Gee, everyone's so nice here at the % monster truck rally. % % Men are still struggling to pull Homer out of the wrecked car. % % Marge: Look, Homer. Champagne! <0:43> % Homer: [struggling; grunting] % % They finally pull him out, and all three men land on their backs in % the mud. Later, in the stands, Lisa, Bart and Maggie enjoy the show. % % Announcer: And now... Majestic Undercoating is proud to % present... Ms. Monster! % % A tractor with a huge engine, rearing on its back wheels, pulling a % Duff/Redskin Chew sled. It crosses the finish line. % % Marge: [impressed] Wow, a woman mud-pull driver. % Lisa: [to Maggie] Another barrier broken. [yelling] Right % on, sister! [Maggie hits the deck] % % Ms. Monster stands on the seat, raising her arms above her head. Homer arrives w/snacks. Homer: Let the destruction begin! ~~ Inside Bart's dream. He sees himself as a daredevil. <0:01> % The announcer's "Ladies and Gentlemen" is said quickly, not drawn % out, in syndication. A few frames are cut. ~~ Lewis: Oh no, he's hurt. Richard: Bad! Milhouse: Let's get out of here! [They run away] <0:04> % Establish the hospital, then move to Emergency entrance. ! Dramatic music is delayed the full 4 seconds. The scene loses some ! "emotion", I guess. ~~ Hibbert: Bart, in this ward are the childern who have been hurt by imitating stunts they saw on television, movies and <0:02> % the legitimate stage. [He pushes open the doors] ! Okay. They re-dubbed "the legitimate stage" as a voice-over during ! the doors opening. Two seconds of video are missing. ~~~~~ ACT III <0:15> (0:15) 6:43 / 6:58 Bart announces his jump on the bus intercom. Lisa: Springfield Gorge! % Bart, you'll be killed! [as he sits] <0:09> % Bart: [pumped] Lisa, I don't know how to explain this... [visibly % excited] but I get the same thrill out of jumping over stuff % that you do from... reading. Lisa: Please, before you do anything, there's someone I'd like you to talk to. ! Of course, Bart is magically seated as Lisa says "before". ~~ Cap'n Lance: [writing with pen in mouth] Thanks for... visiting ... me... <0:05> % at Springfield... General... Hospital. Your... visit... was a ray of sunshine... ~~ <0:01> % Each time Homer falls down the gorge, his "swears" are compressed... % yielding savings of about a second. ==[ 7F09 ]====================================== Itchy & Scratchy & Marge === GAINED: 49 seconds 19:57 / 20:46 (CBC) CUTS: 4 seconds GAINED: 53 seconds 19:53 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:15) 5:14 / 5:29 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:20) 7:07 / 7:27 (CBC) <0:04> (0:24) 7:03 [04] / The first 4 seconds of Marge's protesting are cut. ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:14) 7:36 / 7:50 ==[ 7F10 ]======================================== Bart Gets Hit By A Car === CUTS: 54 seconds GAINED: 54 seconds 19:37 / 20:31 No blackboard, no solo, 1F01 couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:18> (0:18) 6:11 / 6:29 Hibbert: Well, we’ve got a nasty bump on our head, haven’t we? Bart: Ow, % quit it. <0:03> % Hibbert: And a little tiny broken toe. % Bart: Ow, quit it. ! If you listen closely to the synd version, you can hear Bart say ! the 'q' in "quit it." ~~ Burns: ...so I’m cutting you a check. % Homer: Really? Great! <0:06> % Burns: [chuckling] A ha. Yes... % [Burns struggles with the lever] Mr. Burns cuts the check and hands it to Homer, who inspects it. Burns: Eh. Of course you’ll have to sign a waiver, relinquishing your right to sue, and so forth-- <0:01> % Merely a formality. ~~ <0:04> % Burns struggling to crush the cup was shortened by four seconds. ~~ Secretary: The Supreme Court called again. <0:03> % They need your help on some freedom thing. Hutz: Tell them to sit tight... ~~ Hutz: You'll also be getting this faux pearl necklace, a $99 value, as our gift to you... He hands the necklace to Homer, <0:01> % who blinks at it cynically. Homer: Well, I don't know. You and I might have different ideas about just how a big cash settlement is... ~~~~~ ACT II <0:24> (0:24) 7:58 / 8:22 Nick: And this smudge here, that looks like my finger print? No. That’s trauma! <0:01> % Marge: [growls in disbelief] ~~ Homer: Everything’s fine. % Bart: Will I ever play baseball again? % Homer: No! [sobs] <0:09> % Bart: But I played baseball this morning. % Marge: That’s right... he did. ~~ Judge: ...I will have to cite you for contempt. % Burns: You wouldn’t dare! <0:04> % Judge: Well no, uh... I guess I wouldn’t ~~ Burns: And... that’s what happened. [a shot of the jury] [a shot of the audience] [a shot of Burns] % [someone coughs] % [Burns rolls his eyes left] <0:05> % [a shot of Smithers frowning] % Burns: What are you looking at me like that for? You believed % cock and bull story. Hutz: It’s looking good, Mr. Simpson. It’s looking very, very good. ~~ Homer: [reading] Five-hundred-thousand dollars.... % Marge: Goodness! <0:03> % Burns: Ooop-oop-oop-oop-oop-oop-oop... Don’t answer me now. ~~ Burns: Oh, I feel faint. <0:02> % Homer: [angry] Five hundred thousand dollars? I on his five hundred thousand dollars! ~~~~~ ACT III <0:12> (0:12) 5:28 / 5:40 Marge: Some string beans? % Homer’s Brain: No, I don’t want any string beans either, you <0:05> % two-timing, back-stabbing-- uh-oh, better answer... Homer: No, thank you. Marge: Some celery with cream cheese on it? <0:02> % Homer’s Brain: Just mouth polite nothings. Homer: No, thank you. Bart: You know what would've really been cool? ~~ Moe: From the day they’re born till the day they die, they _think_ they’re happy. But trust me-- they ain’t. <0:02> % Homer’s Brain: Moe... I wish he’d shut up. [lifts his head] ~~ Marge walks through the bar, as the barflies stare. Barney: Well, hello! Herman: Ah, ba ba booey! Marge: [mumbling] My name is Marge... % Herman and Barney stare at Marge one extra second. <0:02> % Homer sits alone as Marge walks into the frame. Marge: Homer, I'd like you to forgive me for doing the right thing. ~~ Marge: Homer! Look at me! <0:01> % Homer turns toward Marge on the barstool. Homer's Brain: All right, all right. Look at her, if it will shut her up. ==[ 7F11 ]======================= One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish === CUTS: 86 seconds GAINED: 86 seconds 19:57 / 21:23 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:35> (0:35) 6:47 / 7:22 Richie Sakai performs karaoke. % Homer: Ooo, ooo! And two of these things. % Akira: Two "Uni." % Homer: And ooo, ooo! I don't believe I've tried the flying fish roll. % Akira: I recommend it with a raw quail egg on top. % Homer: You're the doctor. % <0:30> % Bart and Lisa perform karaoke: % Bart: Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the % chicks? % Lisa: Shaft! % Bart: You're damn right. Who's the cat that won't cop out, when % there's danger all about? % Lisa: Shaft! % Bart: Right on. ~~ <0:02> % The first 2 seconds of Edna and the Master Chef making out are cut. ~~ % A close-up of the blowfish diagram is shown. <0:03> % % Toshiro: [sighs] ~~~~~ ACT II <0:02> (0:02) 6:55 / 6:57 Homer: Hee hee hee! The joke's on him; I'll be dead by then! <0:02> % Homer's voice: [over screen fuzz] I'll try it again... Is that it? Homer walks over and sits in front of the fireplace. ~~~~~~ ACT III <0:46> (0:46) 6:14 / 6:58 Barney: Fifty bucks! What'd you do? Kill a judge? % [hangs up phone] Aaaagh! Where am I gonna get 50 bucks? % [looks in wallet] Oh... [searches messy apartment] Ech... <0:11> % [bends down] Pizza! [cleans and eats it; searches couch] % % Meanwhile, Marge looks out the window for Homer. Inside, the family waits at the dining room table. Bart: Why are we all dressed up? ~~ Barney drives Homer home from the police station. Barney: [hurt] Eh--you're dyin', and you weren't even gonna stop at Moe's for a last beer with your buddies? Oh.... Homer: Hey Barney, look... It was on my list, along with alot of other things I didn't get to do today... % [sees Burns] Hey! My boss! % % Burns and Smithers sit on a park bench. % % Burns: [peering through binoculars] Smithers! Check out the % luscious pair on that redhead. [staring at her red pumps] % That's it baby, work those ankles! % Smithers: Ring-a-ding-ding, sir. % Homer: [shouting] Hey Burns! Eat my shorts! % Burns: Who the Sam Hell was that? <0:33> % Smithers: Why it's... Homer Simpson, sir. One of the schmoes from % sector 7G. % Burns: Simpson, eh? I want him in my office at 9 o'clock Monday % morning. We'll see who eats shorts. % % Homer crosses "tell off boss" off the list. % % Homer: Wow, of all the luck. To think I almost died without % telling the boss to eat my shorts. % Barney: Oh Homer, come on! You got time for one last beer... Please?! ==[ 7F12 ]=== dv ========================================= The Way We Was === CUTS: 76 seconds GAINED: 76 seconds 19:56 / 21:12 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:11> (0:11) 5:37 / 5:48 Homer: Cheap Chinese TV, why did I ever buy it? Is that better? Lisa+Bart: No! Homer: [mumbles] Stupid... % How's this? [picture gets worse] % Lisa+Bart: [scream] % Homer: [panicking] Oh, no. Okay, everybody remain calm. <11> % [raises his fist, and gives the TV a big whack] % [picture disappears to a white dot] % Lisa+Bart: [scream louder] % [they all get closer to the tube] Bart: Hey, everybody. If you look real close, you can kinda make 'em out. {Ricardo Lafaurie } ~~~~~ ACT II <1:01> (1:01) 7:17 / 8:18 Homer: I reached step one: she knew I existed. The only problem was, she didn't care. Flashback to Homer and hid dad, around the kitchen table and a bucket of fried chicken. % Grampa: What's the matter, boy? % Homer: Nothing. % Grampa: You haven't said poo all night and usually I have to wrestle % the bucket out of your greasy mitts. % Homer: Dad, I'm in love. [snaps a wishbone -- in three!] % Grampa: Uh-oh! Why don't you grab yourself a beer, boy. % Homer: But Dad, I don't drink ... <41> % Grampa: Cut the crap! % [sarcastically] "I just collect the cans, Daddy." % Now grab yourself a beer and get me one too. Now, this % girlfriend of yours, is she a real-looker? % Homer: Uh-huh. % Grampa: Lot on the ball? % Homer: Oh, yeah. % Grampa: Oh, son, don't overreach... Go for the car, the job, the girl. Oh, I blame myself. I should've had this talk a long time ago. Homer: Thanks, pop. Homer has to recite the alphabet to himself to figure out whether he should go through the door `A-M' or `N-Z' to visit his guidance counselor. - Homer: A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L- M-N... M-N-O-P-S. ! During Homer's line ("The only problem was, she didn't care.") the ! syndicated version showed him outside the Guidance Counselor's office ! which occured immediately AFTER Homer's talk with his dad (which was ! cut in syndication). But in the original (this is just a guess since ! I only had the original on cassette tape) was Homer on his way to ! talk to his dad (?). Then again it could have been Homer in the ! present still (?). If anyone can identify which was in the original ! version, please let me know. ! Note that Homer's beer can collection can be seen later in his room. {Ricardo Lafaurie } ~~ Homer prepares for Marge's arrival for her tutoring session... % After brushing his hair, he spots some in his brush. % % Homer: Ooh, lost a few. Oh... [chuckles] well, there's plenty more % where that came from. <16> % % He then looks at himself in the mirror. % % Homer: Oh-oh, a zit. No problemo. [applies some skin-colored cream % on it] The perfect crime. All that remains to do is to put on a record and dim the lights before he's all set for the night. {Ricardo Lafaurie } ~~~~~~ ACT III <0:04> (0:04) 7:02 / 7:06 At the prom, Homer cries his heart out. Homer: [sobs] Marge: Homer? Homer: What? Marge: Why are you doing this? <03> % Why can't you accept that I'm here with someone else? ! Note that syndication still shows Marge just about to speak her line ! that was cut ~~ % One measily second was cut from Homer's walk under the moon. <01> % (He actually walked from under the leftmost tree.) ==[ 7F13 ]======================== Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment === CUTS: 47 seconds GAINED: 47 seconds 20:00 / 20:47 (CBC) CUTS: 54 seconds GAINED: 54 seconds 19:53 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:18> (0:18) 7:20 / 7:38 (CBC) <0:25> (0:25) 7:13 [01] / One second was cut from this act's start on CBC. ~~ TV: Mr Speaker, if I could call your attention [06] / to the Retroaction Subsidy Appropriations Override bill, I refer you to page four thousand five hundred and... ~~ Miss: All right children. Now, I don't want you to get frightened, but <03> % it's my responsibility to teach you this: today's topic will be hell. ~~ Homer: Well, the lad has a point. Bart: Hell, yes! % Marge: Bart! <04> % Bart: [singing] Hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, % hell, hell, hell, hell, hell... Marge: Bart! You're no longer in Sunday School. Don't swear. <01> % [shot of the children in the back seat] {bodholdtdean@bvu.edu} ~~ Troy: But today, I'd like to talk to you about a pleasant-tasting candy that actually cleans and strenghtens your teeth. Homer: Oh, goody! A program-length advertisement! % Tina: Wait a minute, Troy; I'm a little confused. Did you say <10> % "cleans *and* straightens"? % Troy: There's no confusion, Tina. Just good science. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you to meet the inventor: Dr. Nick Riviera. ~~~~~ ACT II <0:21> (0:21) 5:59 / 6:20 After inviting the gang at Moe's tavern to watch the fight, % Homer makes a stop at the Kwik-E-Mart. On the monitor, one can % clearly see Jimbo shop-lifting, but Apu is too busy serving Homer. % % Apu: [seeing Homer's Crate-O-Duff] Ooh, somebody's having a party! % Homer: Yeah, Friday night -- you wanna come over? <21> % Apu: Oh, thank you, but this store is open 24 hours. It puts great % demands on my time. % Homer: Aw, too bad, it's gonna be a great fight. % Apu: Oh, the fight? Why didn't you say something? I'll get my % brother Sanjay to cover for me. He deplores violence of all % kinds. ~~~~~ ACT III <0:08> (0:08) 6:41 / 6:49 Homer is flipping through the channels: % TV: Lemonade? Please. % Homer: [sighs] Seen it. % TV: ... cleans and strengthens your teeth... % Homer: Seen it. <08> % TV: [rap music] % Homer: Seen it. % TV: I was poor like you. % Homer: Seen it. TV: [analysts speaking] Homer: Urgh! Soccer... Seen it. ==[ 7F15 ]=={ dv }==================================== Principal Charming === CUTS: 79 seconds GAINED:101 seconds 19:57 / 21:38 No blackboard, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:59> (1:07) 8:33 / 9:40 Homer suggests they dump the kids on Patty and Selma and go to dinner there Saturday night. Marge calls her sisters (at work at the DMV), who say they have to attend Stanley Peterson's wedding. But they say they'll sneak out early. % Hans Moleman (known as Raliph Melish in this episode) fails miserably % in the eye test. % <0:15> % Hans: F... L... oh no, I'm sorry. That's a C isn't it? % Patty: If that was an oncoming vehicle, you'd be dead now. Next! % Hans: But driving is my livelihood. % Patty: Aw, take it like a man. {Ricardo Lafaurie } ! Note that you can see Hans/Ralph at Patty's booth before this scene. ~~ Selma: Marge, I need to speak with you alone. % Meanwhile Patty is snoring loudly on the couch and Homer tells Barney % on the phone what he thought of the barbeque pit. <0:12> % % Homer: Oh and that sauce, Barney. I could have drunken a full of it % by myself....No, Barney, that's just my sister-in-law. Meanwhile, Selma begs Marge to help her find a husband before it's too late. ! Note: Just before the cut, you can see Patty on the couch snoring. ~~ Meanwhile, Principal Skinner scolds Bart and his friends for conspiring to all drop their pencils at precisely 2:15pm. Bart offers to show his buddies the work of a true vandal, and pulls out a bag of sodium tetrasulfate. % Homer goes to the Kwik-E-Mart. % % Homer: One seafood burrito, Apu. % % He then analyzes Apu... % % "Apu" % "Pros: Discounted snack treats" % "Cons: Dangerous profession." % % Apu interrupts him. % % Apu: I am loathe to interrupt your meditation, sir, but the time % has come for money to change hands. % Homer: Oh, sorry. <0:32> % % Homer analyzes a man walking down the street... % % "?" % "Pro: Nice stride" % "Con: Complete stranger" % % ... and a No Smoking sign. % % "Pro: Smoker" % "Con: Just a sign" % % % Meanwhile Principal Skinner is eating lunch. % % Skinner: Mmmmmmm Say what they will about our cafeteria. I...I still think they're best tater tots money can buy. {Ricardo Lafaurie } ~~~~~ ACT II <0:16> (0:24) 6:22 / 6:46 Patty: I tried to repel him, I really did! % At the Kwik-E-Mart... % % Patty: I'll have a Lady Laramie 100's please. % Selma: We both know it could have easily been me... very easily. <0:16> % Laramie Hi-Tars, hard pack, and I don't have all day. % Apu: Oh, all right, here you go. Smoke them in good health. And % will you be needing any lottery tickets with that? % Selma: No... All right, fine. Bart has to plant seeds in the field. {Ricardo Lafaurie } ~~~~~ ACT III <0:04> (0:10) 5:02 / 5:12 % At Moe's Tavern... <0:04> % % Moe: Homer, lighten up. You're making happy hour really ironic. Homer: Oh, Moe. I gotta find a date for my big fat snotty sister-in-law Selma. Barney asks what Selma looks like and tells Homer he'll go out with her because he's not picky. ! Maybe Barney thought it was SELMA on the couch snoring when he was ! talking to Homer on the phone earlier in the episode (which was cut ! in syndication) ==[ 7F16 ]=={ dv }=========================== Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? === CUTS: 81 seconds GAINED:101 seconds 19:56 / 21:37 No blackboard, no solo, 1F01 couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:26> (0:33) 7:10 / 7:43 Bart: [singing "bastard"] Marge: Bart! Homer: Bart! Baart! % Homer pays a visit to the Shelbyville Orphanage, to find that it is % now a gas station... % % Homer: 148, this is it....uhh excuse me, is this an orphanage? % Attendant: You're a little late pal. They tore down the orphanage 30 <0:26> % odd years ago. % Homer: [whining] 30 years! I'll never find him. I'm doomed to % walk through life alone. [sobs out loud] % Oh brother, where art thou! % Attendant: Take it easy, buddy, they moved across the street. % Homer: Oh, hee hee. Sorry. Inside... Director: I know how you feel, Mr. Simpson. I myself have spent years searching for my long-lost twin brother. {mhendren@students.uiuc.edu} ~~~~~ ACT II <0:16> (0:22) 6:04 / 6:26 Grampa begs Homer, `Please, don't do anything stupid!' % Herbert takes Bart and Homer on a balloon ride. % % Bart: Unkie Herb, can I spit over the side? <0:16> % Herbert: Heh heh heh. I love this kid. Hock your brains out! % [Bart spits, as does Herbert] % Bart: Ho! Got him! % That evening, Homer makes a phone call from bed... Homer: Hello, cook? Sorry to bother you so late, but I got a hankering for some... That's right. Don't forget the applesauce! {mhendren@students.uiuc.edu} ~~~~~ ACT III <0:39> (0:46) 6:42 / 7:28 Homer: Bullseye! And another thing, when I gun the motor, I want people to think the world is coming to an end. Vroom! Vroom! VROOM! % Bart and Lisa introduce Herbert to I&S and watch the cartoon, % "Sundae Bloody Sundae". The I&S theme plays while Bart and Lisa are % talking. % % Lisa: The mouse is named Itchy and the cat is named Scratchy. % Bart: They hate each other. % Lisa: And they're not shy about expressing it. % % Scratchy sits down at a soda fountain, but tries to run when he sees <0:39> % that the soda jerk is Itchy. Itchy grabs him and stuffs him into a % metal shake container, and puts it under the mixer. Voila: Scratchy % puree. % % Herbert: [laughing] To think I wasted my life in boardrooms, and % stockholders meetings, when I could've been watching % cartoons! This old fool has wasted his life % % The cartoon continues and Bart, Lisa, and Herbert continue to laugh At the lab, Homer is hooked up with electrodes and is sent through a wind tunnel. {mhendren@students.uiuc.edu} {Ricardo Lafaurie } ==[ 7F14 ]========================================== Bart's Dog Gets an F === GAINED: 53 seconds 19:44 / 20:37 No blackboard, no solo 1F01 couch ! The first airing of that episode was cut for the "Deep Deep Trouble" ! video. I do not have this watered-down version, but I suspect it was ! mostly compressed, like the syndicated version. ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:25) 8:42 / 9:07 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:15) 5:09 / 5:24 ! Here's a possible cut for the first airing version, as reported by ! Ricardo Lafaurie . ? Back in school, Bart tries to get SLH to sit, while a dog walks by ? with a book balanced on its head, and another walks on its hind legs. ? The dogs are lined up, and they roll over in perfect synchronicity, ? except for SLH, who wets on the rug. ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:13) 5:53 / 6:06 * Compression until Bart & SLH playing together. ==[ 7F17 ]===================================================== Old Money === CUTS: 40 seconds GAINED: 40 seconds 19:56 / 20:36 No blackboard, no solo, 1F01 couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:06> (0:06) 7:58 / 8:04 Homer: Where's someplace we can take Grampa next time? Lisa: To the pony ride! Homer: No.... you can't sit on ... Lisa: Yeah! Bart: Bo-ring... % Marge: Well, I always enjoy the glass blower at Olde Springfielde % Towne... % Homer: Oh, we that... <0:06> % Lisa: Muhhhhh.... % Bart: Uh, big yawner... % Marge: [disappointed growl] Bart: [excited] The museum of barnyard oddities! ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (----) 5:14 / 5:14 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:34> (0:34) 6:44 / 7:18 Otto: ...note the cobra wrapped around the naked chick. Grampa: Next! % Otto: Oh... % Burns: Grampa, I can call you Grampa, can’t I? % Grampa: Yeah, yeah, go ahead. % Burns: All right, I need that money. Please! Please! [on his knees] <0:26> % Grampa: Wait, wait a minute, wait. You’re the guy who owns % the nuclear power plant! % Burns: Well, the ownership is divided-- % Grampa: What the hell do you think you’re doing? % Burns: Mr. Simpson, I dread the day when a hundred-thousand dollars % isn’t worth groveling for. % Grampa: Get outta here! % Burns: You just made yourself a very powerful enemy, old man... Moe: Here's the deal, Grampa... ~~ Homer: Miss? I'm looking for Abe Simpson-- Woman: Mmm hmm... Homer: ---it's I get ahold of him. [distraught] I have to tell him I don't care about his money, and I him! Woman: We get that alot. He left this morning with the senior casino junket. Homer: [shrieking] Casino? AAAIGH! [drives down the highway] % Otto: [humming] Come on, everybody! % Everyone: [humming].... % % The bus drives by a road sign: % <0:08> % --------------------- % | State Line 1 mi | % | | % | Casino 1 mi 1 ft | % --------------------- % | | Shot of bus in the casino parking lot. ==[ 7F18 ]========================================== Brush with Greatness === CUTS: 67 seconds GAINED: 67 seconds 19:42 / 20:49 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:56> (0:56) 4:53 / 5:49 Krusty: So much fun. So many memories. Excuse me a minute. [turns away and sobs] Bart: It *has* been a great week, hasn't it Lis? Lisa: [holds his hand] % [sigh] % % Krusty: I hope all you kids come out this week and really pack this % place. % [on-screen: "2 Hours Free Parking"] <12> % Just to show 'em how grateful I am. % [on-screen: "Nose Plus Rental"] % I told 'em you would. % [on-screen: "Trauma Center on Premises"] % Don't make me a liar! [laughs] Okay kids, it's time to: Kids: Kroon Along With Krusty! ! Actually, the animations of Lisa's sigh is still left in syndication, ! but with Krusty's line over it. ~~ Bart and Lisa start bugging Homer while he's resting on the couch... Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? Homer: No. Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? Homer: No. Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? % Homer: No! % % ... while he's walking down the hallway... % % Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? % Homer: No. % Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? % Homer: No. % Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? % Homer: No. % % ... while he's eating dinner... % % Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? % Homer: No. % Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? % Homer: No! <14> % % ... while he's watching TV... % % Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? % Homer: No. % Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? % Homer: No. % % ... while he's taking a shower... % % Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? % Homer: NO! % Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? % Homer: NO! % % ... before he goes to sleep... % % Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? Homer: NO! Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? Homer: NO! Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? Homer: NOO! Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore? Homer: NOOOO! [screams] If I take you two, will you shut up and quit bugging me?! ! Homer's line makes much less sense without the cut scenes. :( ~~ <03> % We can see the car getting out the alley. ~~ % Bart and Lisa are staring at an attraction. % % Speaker: Challenge the raging waters of DEATH. <10> % Dare to discover what water is really made of! % H WHOA! % 2 % Bart+Lisa: Whoa...! They get through the gate without any problem. Bart: All right, no lane! ... Ay, caramba! [but that's only the start of a line of hundreds of people] Okay, Lis. Turn on the waterworks, babe. Lisa: [starts crying] Mommy! I want my mommy! Bart: Step aside, come on. Spread out, spread out. Hot soup. Oh, my god, fatso! Coming through, coming through. Pardon me, moving to the front of the line. [they get through] Hey, Lis, nice work, babe. % At Rock-A-Bye Riptide ("Water Changed Hourly"), Marge puts on a % bathing cap (with much difficulty) and leaves Maggie in the 1-inch % section, wearing a floater big enough to sustain 10 people. In fact, <11> % she literally walks on the water, up to the other end of the pool -- % only 2 inches deep. Marge grabs her: "No, Maggie. Stay in the shallow % end." ~~ Homer steps on the scale: Homer: [screams] Four hundred and thirty seven! What, fifty five...? % Oh my God! Three hundred and... % What's this? A hundred and fifty? % [screams] <06> % Ooh... % [screams] % Ooh... [screams] Oh my God! It's 260 pounds! I'm a big fat pig! ~~~~~ ACT II <0:02> (0:02) 6:14 / 6:16 ! Some tidbits were removed at the beginning of three scenes; those are ! less than a second long, and can't be noticed without comparing it to ! the real version. Here's their location: <.7> % Beginning of the dinner scene (with rice cakes). ~~ <.5> % Beginning of Marge's interview with Mr. Lombardo. ~~ <.7> % Beginning of Art Exposition. ~~~~~ ACT III <0:09> (0:09) 8:34 / 8:43 Lisa: Way to go, Dad! Bart: You look mah-velous! Maggie: [toasts Homer with her bottle of formula] Homer: [holds Bart and Lisa] Oh, what a family. % At the plant... % <09> % Donut man: Hey, what gives? These donuts are piling up. % Karl: Heh. Yeah, Homer Simpson went on a diet. % Donut man: Oh my God... And I just bought a boat! [slaps forehead] ! J.D. Baldwin notes: ! Unbelievable. I saw this scene about 15 times in the *ads* for the ! episode. It was indeed missing from the aired version. ==[ 7F19 ]============================================= Lisa's Substitute === CUTS: 93 seconds GAINED: 93 seconds 19:41 / 21:14 Original couch ! Yup, this was the first episode to bear a couch gag, without any ! blackboard. Of course, no one though this would become so common... ~~~~~ ACT I <1:00> (1:00) 5:54 / 6:54 Skinner: Well, now, children, here we are. Open your primers to page 32. [they all do] Ah, substraction. % [loud screams can be heard from above] % Bart Simpson, I know it's you! % % He's obviously right, as Bart is showing his class "How kittens are % born -- they UGLY story" on a VCR. % % Bart: And here comes Snowball II. [meowing] This is the one we % kept. <27> % Class: Eww! % Bart: We were gonna keep the grey one, but the mother ate her. % Class: EWWW! % Martin: Mrs. Krabappel, he's traumatizing the children. % Edna: As usual, I agree with you, Martin. % Bart! Shut that off and take your seat immediately! % Bart: Oh, look, this is really cool: when I hit reverse, I can make % 'em go back in! [does so] % Class: [screams loudly] {mhendren@students.uiuc.edu} ~~ Edna: Bart, I need someone very reliable to deliver an important message to the principal's office. Would you do it for me? Bart: Why, Mrs. Krabappel, how would I know where the principal's office is? [children laugh and cheer as Bart leaves the class] Edna: [closes the door] People! What have I told you about encouraging him? % When Bart wins approval for making a fool out of himself, % it makes him think that he... % Milhouse: Yay! Bart! <11> % [Bart's making faces in the door's window] % Class: [cheering and clapping] % [chanting] Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart! ... % Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! ... ~~ Mr. Bergstrom kindly refuses Mrs. Krabappel's advances. Lisa sighs admiringly. % Later that day, Mr. Bergstrom is correcting papers when he hears a <22> % saxophone. He looks out the window, to see Lisa playing for him. He % applauses, and Lisa gives him a generous smile. {mhendren@students.uiuc.edu} ~~~~~ ACT II <0:12> (0:12) 6:21 / 6:33 Homer: Now, Bart, do you really think you can win? Bart: Sure, why not? Homer: Woo! Woo! All right! I always knew you had personality. % The doctor said it was hyperactivity, but I knew better. % "President Simpson"... Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it, boy? <12> % Bart: Mmm... yeah! % Homer: [yelling] Now, go get him! % Bart: [growls] {mhendren@students.uiuc.edu} ~~~~~ ACT III <0:21> (0:21) 7:26 / 7:47 Lisa: The train -- how like him: traditional, yet environmentally sound. % Woman: Yes. And it's been the backbone of our country wince Leland % Stanford drove that golden spike at Promontory Point. <11> % Lisa: I see he touched you too. % [they both sigh in admiration] ~~ After comforting Lisa and Bart, % Homer walks by Maggie's room, when he hears her fussing. He steps in % to investigate, and finds out her pacifier has fallen from her mouth. % He gives it back to her. <10> % % Homer: Sleep well, Maggie. % [contented sigh] Three for three... {del_gran@ix.netcom.com (Don Del Grande)} ==[ 7F20 ]=={ dv }=================================== War of the Simpsons === CUTS: 39 seconds GAINED: 61 seconds 19:57 / 20:58 No blackboard, 1F01 couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:13> (0:20) 6:53 / 7:13 Later that evening, Homer makes a fool of himself with a lampshade on his head. % Meanwhile, Maggie gets into the pile of coats and makes confetti of <0:13> % the dollar bills. Homer drunkenly tells off a guest. ~~~~~ ACT II <0:15> (0:23) 7:42 / 8:05 Lovejoy: Well we've missed the Luau. Let's say we call it a night. % The kids watch a McBain movie % % McBain: But Captain, I can't avenge my partner's death with this % pee-shooter <0:15> % Captain: I don't wanna hear it, McBain. Tha-that cannon of yours is % against regulation. In this department we go by the book. % McBain: [fires cannon at the Captain] Bye book! % Lisa: All right McBain! % Bart: Cool! Grampa: You know kids, it's gettin pretty late. ~~~~~~ ACT III <0:11> (0:18) 5:22 / 5:40 Lovejoy: Marge, as a trained marriage counselor, this is the first instance where I've ever told one partner that they were 100% right. It's all his fault. I'm willing to put that on a certificate you can frame. % Grampa is singing in the shower. He emerges to find Bart's party <0:11> % well under way. On the lake... Homer: Ok, fish. You probably wondering why I'm still here. Catching you will make me the most famous fisherman there is. Right up there with, the... uh... that bald guy on the cable fishing show. ==[ 7F21 ]==================================== Three Men And A Comic Book === CUTS: 42 seconds GAINED: 42 seconds 19:38 / 20:20 No blackboard, no solo, 1F01 couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:24> (0:24) 6:37 / 7:01 Quimby is corrected by Jimbo, but swears to strike back. % Martin goes to the lost-and-found table, wearing only one vulcan ear. % <0:12> % Martin: Excuse me, sir. Has anyone turned in a left vulcan ear? % Man: Let's see... We got a utility belt, couple of tricorders, a % light saber... Sorry kid. ~~ Patty: This gives us a lot more free time. Selma: Uh-huh. Let's take up smoking. Marge: So I worked and worked while my sisters smoked and smoked. % Patty: [singing in a raspy voice] Venus! Oh Venus! <0:12> % Selma: [raspy] We want those dress shields hand-washed and drip % dried. {Ricardo Lafaurie } ! Comment from David Sobecki : ! The whole point of the routine [...] was that after a couple ! months of Patty and Selma smoking while Marge was their slave, ! their voices had already became the scratchy monstrosities that ! they are in the present [...]. ~~~~~ ACT II <0:18> (0:24) 7:06 / 7:24 Glick: The sludge certainly collects around those downspouts, don't it? Bart: All right, I'll sludge you, you old bat. Inside Mrs. Glick house, Bart has other chores to do. % Glick: Today, we wash Beulah. You know what that is? % Bart: [sarcastically] Some old lady thing nobody's heard about for % fifty years? <0:18> % Glick: [happily] Yeah. It was my wedding dress. But then, I dyed it % black, and it became my mourning dress. % Bart: Great story, lady. {Ricardo Lafaurie } ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 5:55 / 5:55 ==[ 7F22 ]==================================================== Blood Feud === CUTS: 44 seconds GAINED: 44 seconds 19:39 / 20:23 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ ACT I <0:04> (0:04) 9:48 / 9:52 Marge: [watching Lisa show Maggie flashcards] What's a zebu? Lisa: It's like an ox, only it has a hump and a dewlap. % [indicating to Maggie] Hump, and dewlap! Hump and dewlap! <04> % Marge: Hmmm... Homer: Marge, what's my blood type? ~~~~~ ACT II <0:12> (0:12) 4:32 / 4:44 % Back home, after the post office incident, Homer rests on the couch, % while Lisa educates Maggie even further. % <12> % Lisa: Ooh, look, Maggie! What is that? Dodecahedron! Dodecahedron! % Homer: Lisa, I don't know what you're doing, but it's very strange, % and your father is trying to worry. ~~~~~ ACT III <0:28> (0:28) 5:19 / 5:47 At Moe's... % Moe: [answers the phone] Moe's Tavern, where the elite meet to % drink. % Bart: Uh, yeah, hello. Is Mike there? Last name, Rotch. % Moe: Hold on, I'll check. % [calls] Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen Mike <23> % Rotch lately? % [everybody laughs but Homer and Moe] % [to phone] Listen, you little puke. One of these days, I'm % going to catch you, and I'm gonna carve my name on your back % with an ice pick. % [at the other end, Bart and Lisa laugh heartily] Moe: What's the matter, Homer? You're not your normal effervescent self. Homer: I've got my problems, Moe. Gimme another one. ~~ Burns searches for the right gift... [at The Brushes Are Coming, The Brushes Are Coming] Burns: Hmmm... too practical. [at The Tam O'Shanter Collection] Burns: Too cutesy-poo. [at Sweet Home Alabama] [Smithers plays the Banjo] Burns: Too corn-ball. % [at Wicked Excess] % Burns: A pool table? Are you mad? I'm not going to turn his home into <05> % a saloon! % [Smithers sinks only one ball -- the cue ball] [at Plunderer Pete's] Burns: Eureka! We've found it! ==[ ---- ]===================================================================