The Simpsons Archive's Simpsons Syndication Cuts Guide Season Fifteen (2003-2004) "Syndication... is there anything they can't do?" 03 May 2005 Maintained by Matt Garvey Guide created by Frederic Briere Contributions from Chad Lehman and Tim Reardon [=========================[Season Fifteen Summary]==========================] Story cut episodes: All but EABF21, FABF11, FABF15, FABF18. Compressed episodes: All but FABF03, FABF08. Expanded episodes: FABF06, FABF08. Missing lines: FABF02. Added content: EABF19, FABF01, FABF12 (openings); EABF22, FABF03 (recycling). Changed content: FABF01, FABF06, FABF07, FABF09, FABF12, FABF17. Total time cut: 6:28 (6 min 28 sec) (lengthened intro times not counted) Story time cut: 6:28 (6 min 28 sec) Total time gained: 10:10 (10 min 10 sec) Notes: Careful viewers will note that the edited openings are no longer "voiceless," as in seasons 13 and 14. Like seasons 13 and 14, however, the TV ratings are still missing. I would like to note that I only had access to a few original full- length credits; as they all seem to be 48 seconds anyway, it's probably fine. I also have not included the time "un-cut" by lengthened openings in the episode headers, so you know. A few trends: For some reason, three episodes were given longer opening sequences, even though two of them needed absolutely no help there; if someone can explain this, please let me know. (Like 7F01 for season 14, DABF02 is the opening filler of choice, often overriding existing elements.) Also perhaps to add time, there seem to be pauses of a few seconds before the first acts of FABF04/05/09/08/10/13 and maybe more, which I imagine is a nationwide trait; again, information would be useful. One thing I have not noticed before is that almost every time compression is used in Act I, it does not begin until just after the running credits end. There must be a reason for this; I know it not. As if to round off the insanity, it seems that this season's favored method of dealing with continuous credit music (see also the class of 2F03 et al., CABF12, DABF03, EABF07 and EABF08, and so forth) is to excise it entirely after the commercial break, and replace it with the usual theme music. (FABF10 stands out as an exception.) ==[ EABF21 ]==================================== Treehouse of Horror XIV === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 33 seconds 21:17 / 21:50 Original Halloween opening ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (0:01) 1:25 / 1:26 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:05) 5:11 / 5:16 * Compression starts after credits (Jasper's scene). ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:14) 7:39 / 7:53 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:13) 6:14 / 6:27 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ EABF18 ]==================================== My Mother the Carjacker === CUTS: 22 seconds GAINED: 34 seconds 21:17 / 21:51 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <0:09> (0:12) 7:23 / 7:35 ! As you may already know, the original run (and perhaps the rest) ! featured a fun editing glitch. In the transition between the ! newspaper closeup ("...4th Street overpass midnite") and a wider ! shot, there is a field (half-frame) left in that states, in white on ! a blue background, "THE SIMPSONS / TAKE 02 / SC 075 / AKOM" (slashes ! are new lines). I do not know if or when this was edited out, but if ! you have a VCR that can display fields and a copy of the episode in ! syndication (or a later Fox broadcast), send me a message. I'll even ! credit you. (See also FABF14.) ~~ * Compression starts after credits (at the overpass). ~~ Lou: Is that fugitive radical Mona Simpson? % Pan to Wiggum. % <0:09> % Wiggum: Yeah, and that's Tokyo Rose moppin' the floor. % Rose: [inside, mopping] [to Wiggum] Hey Joe, your girlfriend % sleeps with Tyrone Power! % Eddie: [looking at poster] Chief... [holds it up to window] I think we've got a match here. ~~~~~ ACT II <0:13> (0:17) 7:00 / 7:17 Mel finishes his speech ("...the refill was in the mug!"), and the door of the empty courtroom swings three times. % Mel: The jets in the whirlpool anticipated my every move! ...when it % was _working_. And _three dollars_ for a local call! _They_ <0:13> % should be the ones on trial! % % He leaves the jury box and starts to walk out. Meanwhile, there's a family reunion on the courthouse steps. ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:05) 5:44 / 5:49 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ EABF20 ]================================== The President Wore Pearls === CUTS: 32 seconds GAINED: 32 seconds 21:17 / 21:49 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 6:16 / 6:16 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (----) 7:48 / 7:48 * Don't let the identical timing above fool you; there is a tiny, * pointless, 1/3-of-a-second cut. The establishing shot of the Simpson * house after "Boy, this key opens everything!" is silent in both * versions but shorter in the syndicated one. Go figure. ~~~~~ ACT III <0:32> (0:32) 6:03 / 6:35 Bart: Lis, you made this school even worse! And it wasn't exactly San Diego State to begin wtih. % In her room, Lisa has discarded her outfits (the pink suit and brown % jacket, plus purse, necklace, earrings) on her bed and is back in % her red dress and shoes. She is sitting on the bed and brushing out % her hair, which reverts surprisingly well. While she speaks with % arms and legs crossed, the camera pans out to show Homer and Marge % standing there. % % Lisa: They made me pretty and popular just so they could exploit me <28.5> % and ruin my good name. % Homer: Lisa, you've got to stand up to these guys. And when you do, % people will remember you! [in a one-shot] Just look at these % postage stamps. [grabs a stack of sheets, each with 12-20 % stamps] There's Bugs Bunny, Fat Elvis, Autumn in New England, % Bats of the Southwest... all heroes. [suddenly] Wanna see % Elvis kiss a bat? [holds stamps accordingly] % [Elvis voice] Hey baby, c'mere, I wanna kiss ya. [closeup of % stamps] Mmm! [kissy sounds] Squeak squeak squeak! [3-shot] % [bat voice] No, don't kiss me! [more kissy sounds and moan] Lisa bursts into Skinner's office. ! Note that besides being an important plot point, this cut introduces ! a bit of a continuity error, when Lisa is suddenly dressed her own ! way. ~~ Chief: [to Lou] Well, I can't take that rattlesnake out of his mailbox _now_, now can I? <03.5> % Eddie: Yes, Chief, you could. % Chief: [to Eddie] Well, lemme ask you this: Shut up! Kent: The Springfield student strike has entered its fourth day with no end in sight. ! Note that the cut line makes--made--a nice parallel with Chalmers' ! line earlier: "I've got a question: You're crazy!" ~~ * There's also a little compression in the music at the end. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ EABF22 ]====================================== The Regina Monologues === CUTS: 20 seconds GAINED: 32 seconds 21:18 / 21:50 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:04) 6:40 / 6:44 * Compression starts after credits (shortly before the moon party). ~~~~~ ACT II <0:13> (0:22) 7:26 / 7:48 Lord Daftwager: Don't worry...we'll find more wagers. % Other Dandy: Hmm...I love you, Lord Daftwager. % Lord Daftwager: Yesss, and I you! <08.5> % % They embrace and French kiss, making guttural kissing sounds % (Daftwager contributes a "yes, quite"). Marge: Ooh, look at all these classy British plays! ~~ Inside the car, Marge, Homer, and Lisa are going "whoa, whoooa, whoooooa!" (Bart and Maggie are there too, but hidden behind seats.) % Same external shot as before: <04.5> % % Marge: Turn... turn... keep turning, keep turning... Keep turning, keep turning... Homer: I see an opening! ! Ruins the joke a bit ("turn" by itself, as well as the length). ~~~~~ ACT III <0:07> (0:06) 6:02 / 6:08 Homer puts out the fire, grabs a torch, and pushes the back wall, which moves away. He opens his mouth in surprise. % Homer: Boy... it's a good thing I'm leavin' before I went nuts! % [looks behind him] Goodbye, sparkly elves! <0:07> % % There are three little elves hovering in the air, with sparkles % around them and sparkly sound effects. They say "goodbye!" % Homer turns back to the fireplace. <-0:01>+ A quick shot of Marge, Lisa, and Bart standing outside is recycled. Homer crouches to go into the passage. ! The lengths they'll go to to make a cut! The recycled piece is ! actually closer to 2/3 of a second, but hey, whole numbers are good. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ EABF19 ]=================================== The Fat and the Furriest === CUTS: 12 seconds GAINED: -34 seconds 21:17 / 20:43 DABF02 blackboard, DABF02 solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <-0:55> (-0:55) 1:30 / 0:35 + Blackboard: I do not have a cereal named after me + Solo: Three Blasts + [no blackboard/solo in original] ! Yes, you saw right. This episode could easily have been left ! completely alone for syndication, at over 30 seconds below the time ! limit. Instead of the cut, some medium compression or the medium- ! length intro would have done; I don't get it. ~~~~~ ACT I <0:12> (0:15) 6:09 / 6:24 * Compression starts after credits (when Marge gets the Carnival). ~~ Homer throws the candy ball down, dusts off his hands, and starts to walk away, when he's knocked aside by the bear. % On the ground, he % sees the bear (from his POV for a bit) growling and moving around. % % Homer: Oh my God, I'm gonna be killed by a bear! [calmly, removing a <0:12> % pipe from his shirt pocket] Well, I guess I don't have to % worry anymore about the dangers of smoking. [lights it with a % lighter from his pants pocket, exhales] Smooooth... % % The bear knocks the pipe out of his hand, and Homer yelps. A shot from Homer's POV looking up at the bear, before it zooms in to show his reflection in the bear's eyes. ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:06) 8:00 / 8:06 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 4:50 / 4:50 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ FABF01 ]======================================== Today, I Am a Clown === CUTS: 14 seconds GAINED: 4 seconds 21:18 / 21:22 DABF02 blackboard, DABF02 solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <-0:28> (-0:28) 1:18 / 0:50 % Blackboard: Over forty & single is not funny % Solo: Break Out + Blackboard: I do not have a cereal named after me + Solo: Three Blasts ! Total time gained in this episode: 4 seconds! Gee, 4 seconds of ! compression or a quick cut would have done just fine... So would ! leaving the original blackboard and solo in! ~~~~~ ACT I <0:04> (0:08) 6:24 / 6:32 Marge: You and Lisa better go find homes for these puppies. And don't just dump them all off on some crazy lady! % Pan to show the crazy cat lady from 5F15 standing on their walkway, <0:04> % with three cats clinging to her. She makes crazy sounds, then a sad % sound, and starts walking away. The cats meow. At his shack, Groundskeeper Willie takes a puppy out of the box. ~~ * Compression starts a little later, when Krusty opens his fridge. ~~~~~ ACT II <0:10> (0:17) 6:25 / 6:42 Krusty: Are you nuts? I can barely get through _one_ show on Friday! % Even with the [imitates snorting]... % <0:10> % Krusty sees Bart and Lisa watching him. Bart blinks, then Lisa. % % Krusty: ...uh, you know, smellin' flowers? [lamenting] Such % expensive flowers...filled with remorse. Anyway, we gotta book a guest host! ! This really reminds me of the scene cut in BABF17 (see scg-12). ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:07) 6:23 / 6:30 * Compression ends once the Simpsons' plot is resolved. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ FABF02 ]================================== 'Tis the Fifteenth Season === CUTS: 18 seconds GAINED: 33 seconds 21:18 / 21:51 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:26 / 0:26 ~~~~~ ACT I <0:18> (0:22) 7:16 / 7:38 As the family hangs stockings, we hear music: "It's the most wonderful time of the yee % eeear..." % The music fades as Marge puts a sweater on Santa's Little Helper. <0:11> % He starts growling and gnawing it off. Snowball II comes into frame, % meowing and trying to get her own sweater off. The camera pans to % Homer, doing the same. Establishing shot of power plant. ! The usual crow sound is missing in syndication; I think they ! overlapped the music just a little bit. Otherwise, the song does end ! as abruptly as implied. ~~ * Compression starts after credits (at the baseball card). ~~ Prune: We are the fruit that your grandmother loves... Two prunes wave their hands in the air. % The music continues. Cut to % the sax-playing prune. The lead singer comes into frame and hums <0:07> % nonsense words for a bit. Cut to the manger, where Joseph and Mary % prune are holding up Jesus prune (who is wearing sunglasses and % holding his arms up). The song ends. As the music fades out: Lisa: This is offensive to Christians and prunes! ! Not as much without the above scene! ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:06) 6:53 / 6:59 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:05) 5:55 / 6:00 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ FABF03 ]================================ Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, === ================================== Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays === CUTS: 23 seconds GAINED: 23 seconds 21:18 / 21:41 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 7:32 / 7:32 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (----) 5:39 / 5:39 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:23> (0:23) 6:57 / 7:20 During Homer's TV spot: Homer: We're not affiliated, we're just piggybacking on their message board. % Cut to Homer holding up a patriotic picture of Rudy Giuliani. As % creepy music plays, Homer circles it around and says spookily: % <0:11> % Homer: "I am Rudy Giuliani... Do* as I command *you! I am Rudy* % Giuliani! Do* as I command *you!" % % (At each * above, "YES ON 232" flashes on the screen.) A synthesizer sound plays as the screen holds on "YES ON 232" once more, before Marge turns it off. ! The cut kind of ruins the joke, eh? ~~ Homer: Marge, wait! % He produces the picture of Rudy from his pocket, somehow, and starts % waving it in the direction Marge walked. Spookily again, with the % same elongated vowel sounds: <0:12> % % Homer: "I am Rudy Giuliani... You must forgive Homer... [higher] I % am Rudy Giuliiani... You must forgive Homer! [starts walking % after her, then higher still] I am--" <-0.3> + Lisa: [still image] Bart, we're gonna lose! ! I guess they had to hold on Lisa for a little while longer to space ! out the two comments. I'm still rounding it to 12 seconds total. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ FABF04 ]===================================== I, (Annoyed Grunt)-bot === CUTS: 25 seconds GAINED: 36 seconds 21:16 / 21:52 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 5:28 / 5:28 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:08) 9:08 / 9:16 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:25> (0:28) 5:30 / 5:58 Lisa and Marge leave the shelter sadly, and some cats hiss at them. % Establishing shot of the house at night. % % Marge: [vo until bed is seen a few words in] My job was to keep % Lisa's hope alive, but instead she's really depressed. % Homer: You think _you_ got problems, [produces a giant metal shard] % look what I just pulled out of my arm! % Marge: [shocked gasp] <0:25> % Homer: That's what we in the business call a "biggie"! % Marge: Business? What business? % Homer: The business of being a dad! ...Can you hand me that magnet? % Marge: Sure! [hands him a large horseshoe magnet] % % Homer lifts up his shirt and holds the magnet near his torso. Many % smaller shards fly out of him and stick to the magnet. % % Homer: Can you do my back? Lisa sits on the front step. ! Takes a little oomph out of the "metal in my eye" line in Act 2. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ FABF05 ]================================ Diatribe of a Mad Housewife === CUTS: 28 seconds GAINED: 33 seconds 21:16 / 21:49 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:01) 6:02 / 6:03 * There are about five spots with tiny cuts. You wouldn't notice them * unless you watched this version alongside the original, but like the * useless cut in EABF20, these take place where nothing is happening. ~~~~~ ACT II <0:23> (0:27) 7:54 / 8:21 * More of the itty-bitty cuts persist here. Some are longer, but * none are noticeable. There's also some regular compression as well. ~~ Homer: Ooh, ice cream truck! [runs off] % Later, clothed, Homer has the ambulance parked in the back yard (you % can see the tire tracks in the grass) and is washing the back out % with a hose. To the tune of "Cars": % % Homer: Here in my car, I am hosing off blood. % [dancing] Some of it's mine, but most of it's not! % [turns off hose] Here's Marge. % <0:23> % Marge comes into frame, carrying her manuscript. % % Marge: Homie, I finished my novel. [hands it to him] % Homer: Ooh, typed! % Marge: [nervously] It's really important that you read it and tell % me what you think. % Homer: No problem. [riffles through it] Ohh, two hundred and eighty- % six pages! % Marge: [annoyed] It's double-spaced! % Homer: Woo-hoo, I'm halfway through! In the hammock, Homer puts on his glasses to read the manuscript. ~~~~~ ACT III <0:05> (0:05) 6:10 / 6:15 * A couple more tiny cuts in this act, too. Go figure. ~~ Marge: Jack Ruby was a man, not a jewel! <0:05> % Homer: Wha--? Ohh, bu-- all right. We're back to square one. Put on % some coffee. Marge gets off the bed and murmur-sighs while walking away. ! Without that part, her annoyance seems a little unjustified. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ FABF06 ]====================================== Margical History Tour === CUTS: 24 seconds GAINED: 32 seconds 21:17 / 21:49 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:03) 7:26 / 7:29 * Compression starts after credits (when Anne Boleyn appears). ~~~~~ ACT II <0:24> (0:25) 4:17 / 4:42 Marge: No problem! In elementary school, we girls learned about Sacajawea while the boys were learning math! Lisa: Okay. She puts the book back on the shelf, % then a bum runs up behind her, and takes it off the shelf. % <0:04> % Bum: All right! Toilet paper! % % He walks away with it, and Lisa walks over to Marge and sits down. ~~ * Somewhat sporadic compression starts here. ~~ Lisa: And when you get a chance, bury your friend. [vulture squawks] % Lenny: Hey, we're still mourning! [points behind him] Let's get a % drink. % % Pan to a log cabin Moe's with Moe inside. He leans out the window... % % Moe: All right, customers! And they said you couldn't open a bar % in Kansas! % % A tornado comes out of nowhere and starts to sweep up the bar. <0:20> % % Moe: H-hey! % % The tornado disappears as quickly, leaving some timbers and Moe. % % Moe: Well, nothing can crush the frontier spirit! % % He starts to hammer together some boards, then a mostly intact Moe's % falls on top of him with a loud crash. % % Moe: [quietly] That'll do it. Ooohhh! A body of water is seen. ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:04) 8:24 / 8:28 * Compression stops around "Animal House," but the stills are actually * expanded a bit. This is so that the music (which isn't expanded) * ends at a nice point, which was a few seconds into the voice credits * originally. (In the spirit of the episode, it's just before the * "tooting" line.) ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 % Originally, "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik" continued throughout the % credits. In syndication, it's replaced with the standard theme. Why? ==[ FABF07 ]========================= Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore === CUTS: 12 seconds GAINED: 31 seconds 21:18 / 21:49 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:03) 5:59 / 6:02 * Compression starts after credits (the Easter special). ~~~~~ ACT II <0:12> (0:23) 9:17 / 9:40 Marge: Well, I'm sure he'll be happy you came. [kisses Bart] % PA: Now departing: No-Frills Airlines flight 89. % % Outside, a life-size balsa airplane with a rubber-band propeller is <0:12> % wound up by mechanics, then the propeller is released. It starts % flying shakily, and passengers inside make "whoa" sounds and scream. % It lands about 200 yards away, by nose diving, and makes a balsa- % crack sound. The wings become misaligned and one of the tail pieces % cracks off. Cut to establishing shot of Capitol City Apartments. ! I had forgotten about this scene when I first watched the episode in ! syndication. Doing this check reminded me it was here, and it ! suddenly made a lot more sense! It might be silly and unrealistic, ! but it's important (to explain why Bart is _flying_ to CC). ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:05) 4:52 / 4:57 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 % Originally, "Movin' On Up" continued into and throughout the % credits. It's replaced in syndication by the standard theme. Ugh. ==[ FABF09 ]========================================== Smart and Smarter === CUTS: 6 seconds GAINED: 23 seconds 21:17 / 21:40 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:02) 6:04 / 6:06 * Compression starts after credits (Maggie's first interview). ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:09) 6:15 / 6:24 ! At the very start of the act, there's a changed line, resulting in ! a net gain of about .3 seconds. It sounds like the whole line was ! re-recorded, so I've marked it as such. (Of Fox's original airings, ! I only have the first one; if anyone can tell me which version the ! other two used, or can offer an explanation, I'd be grateful.) Over an establishing shot of the house, Marge says: % "Maggie, I can't believe how much stuff your new school sent over." + "Maggie, look at all the stuff your new school sent over!" ~~~~~ ACT III <0:06> (0:12) 7:48 / 8:00 Skinner: Nope, never under a dollar. Lisa: [sighs] % Establishing shot of the house with squad car parked on the street. <0:03> % % Marge: [vo] Lisa's gone, you have to find her! [1 second silence] Wiggum: Why can't you just accept the fact that Lisa is old enough to take care of herself? ~~ The squeaky-voiced teen lets people pass into the auditorium. He mumbles twice, <0:03> % twice more, then again over a shot of Lisa (behind % the sign). She giggles and he keeps mumbling. Teen: [patting down a man] No food allowed! You can't hide it in your clothes! ~~ $ There's a change in Fox repeats, see below. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 $ In both the original and syndicated versions, Simon Cowell insults $ the credits, including the executive producers at the end of Act 3. $ For Fox network repeats (I don't know about Global), the short $ credits were used, and this gag was taken out. In its place were the $ standard goofy exec music (as added to CABF09 and CABF12 in synd) $ and then the standard theme and Gracie sound. Fun. ==[ FABF08 ]================================ The Ziff Who Came to Dinner === CUTS: 32 seconds GAINED: 25 seconds 21:16 / 21:41 Original opening ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 1:09 / 1:09 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (-0:02) 7:27 / 7:25 * Expansion starts after credits (before Lenny's part in the movie). ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (-0:03) 5:26 / 5:23 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:32> (0:30) 6:26 / 6:56 Selma: Come on, short round...we're goin' back to my Temple of Doom. [single laugh] Artie: Be gentle! She drags him about halfway out the door, % then all the way. % Moe turns to Patty. % % Moe: Uh, you know... [laughs] they say that the love of a good % woman can save any man. % Patty: Except you, freak! % Moe: Well, if you change your mind, you know where I am. % Patty: [leaning forward, from Moe's point of view] In my nightmares! % Moe: I'm gonna stop now. [blinks twice at her] % % From the twins' living room, looking at the open bedroom door: % Artie makes two thrusting sounds (each followed by a sigh). <0:32> % % Selma: What the hell are you doing? % % Now Artie can be seen, fully dressed on the bed and tugging at his % left sock, as Selma brings champagne and two glasses into the room. % % Artie: I can't get my socks off! % Selma: Ahh, leave 'em on. I like a man with a little... [throws away % the glasses and bottle] mystery! [approaches him, kisses him] % Artie: I'm done. % Selma: [kisses him again] My kinda man! % % She throws him to the bed, and Artie makes a surprised "ooh!" sound. % Fade to: Artie and Selma lie in bed. Artie: Wonderful...glorious...magnificent...and you were pretty good too! ~~ * Expansion stops after this. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ FABF10 ]========================================= Co-Dependent's Day === CUTS: 34 seconds GAINED: 53 seconds 21:18 / 22:11 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <0:10> (0:18) 7:47 / 8:05 * Compression starts after credits (after they leave the theater). ~~ Lisa: Wow, Mom and Dad sure are having fun. % Bart: Hey, as long as they're not hurting anybody. % % They look to their right. % <0:10> % Lisa: Uh oh! % % Marge and Homer are tossing Curtis back and forth, laughing. % % Curtis: Whoa, ah... I-I'll give you money! ...I'm going to tell! % [more noises] End of act. ! Nothing's better than an inscrutable line to end a scene, eh? ~~~~~ ACT II <0:22> (0:28) 5:28 / 5:56 Marge: Moe's Tavern? <0:04> % [closeup] That's your fun place! Like me and the lamp store! % Homer: [chuckles twice] Come on! We'll have a blast! ! In syndication, an omission should be obvious both from the pacing ! and visually. Not a super cut. ~~ Marge: I'm goin' to jail! % Wiggum stands up, and Eddie joins him and Lou by the car. They hear % a branch snap. % % Lou: What was that? % Wiggum: [putting his gun to his chin thoughtfully] Maybe someone <0:18> % _else_ is here, and maybe he'll step forward and admit to % being the _real_ culprit! % % They look around, and hear birds, then a caw. Homer is seen in the % woods, making a third type of bird call ("oo-ee, oo-ee"). % % Homer: Oh, this is a new low for me. [does all three calls again] End of act. ~~~~~ ACT III <0:02> (0:07) 6:53 / 7:00 * Compression ends once Homer goes to get Marge out of rehab. ~~ Marge: Pour me another! % Captain: Just take the whole leg. <0:02> % % She starts to reach for it. Then there's a shot of three empty glasses on a table, before zooming out to show Marge and Agnes. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ FABF11 ]======================================== The Wandering Juvie === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 29 seconds 21:17 / 21:46 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:06) 6:06 / 6:12 * Compression starts after credits (after the store credit song). ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:15) 6:51 / 7:06 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:08) 7:10 / 7:18 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ FABF12 ]==================================== My Big Fat Geek Wedding === CUTS: 55 seconds GAINED: 31 seconds 21:19 / 21:50 DABF02 blackboard, DABF02 solo, DABF02 couch ~~~~~ OPENING <-0:56> (-0:56) 1:18 / 0:22 % Couch: Play-Doh Simpsons squeezed onto couch through fun factory + Blackboard: I do not have a cereal named after me + Solo: Three Blasts + Couch: The Simpsons in a slot machine ! Though not unusual for this season's syndication package to have ! lengthened openings with the components above, it's rare indeed to ! alter existing components (particularly the couch gag, not including ! the infamous 1F01). And again, in this case, it was totally ! unnecessary. In fact, of the four cuts here, only the last two seem ! to have been made for stylistic reasons, and they add up to the ! amount of time it had to be shortened. Yeesh. ~~~~~ ACT I <0:55> (1:06) 7:45 / 8:51 Bart: We have the same dream, ma'am. % Zoom in on Bart as a thought bubble appears. It's Skinner, mounted % like a fish (though still clothed). The plaque says "PRINCIPAL." He % starts singing like a Billy Bass toy, with cheesy synthesized music: <0:09> % % Skinner: My Bonnie lies over the ocean; My Bonnie lies over the sea. % % Zoom out, the bubble disapperars, and Bart does a trademark chuckle. Exterior of Simpson house during the bachelorette party is seen. ~~ * Compression starts after credits (at Moe's). ~~ Marge: Spice up! _Spice_ up! Homer: Whatever. % The important thing is to get Skinner to that % altar! 'Cause once a union has been sancitifed by God, it % takes at least six months to tear it apart. [zoom out] % Right, naked Duff Man? <13.5> % % Duff Man is on a chair, naked except for his hat, sunglasses, % footwear, and Duff can belt, and is counting money. % % Duff Man: Hmm? Oh...uh, [thrusts] OH yeah...a-ha. Exterior of school set up for the wedding. ~~ Skinner stretches at the altar. % Homer: Don't worry, I got a man on the perimeter. % Bart: [through walkie talkie] Cowabunga One to Fat Load. % Homer: [quietly] This is Fat Load. [normally] I'd like to request a <13.5> % new code name? % Bart: De-nied. [static] % Homer: OK, Fat Load here. % Bart: [seen from outside] Here comes the bride. [bus is pulling up] % Repeat, here comes the bride. Edna gets off the bus. ! Note that there's no reason for Bart's separation from the rest of ! his family anymore. ~~ Edna runs out of the gym, sobbing. The camera holds on Bart, % and zooms in on Bart. He picks up the walkie talkie. % % Bart: [static] We got a runner! Snipers, take your shots! % % Outside, Nelson is perched in a tree, wearing a headset and readying % a water balloon slingshot. Edna runs outside, but: % % Nelson: I can't do it! That dress is a Vera Wang! % <0:19> % Skinner comes outside. % % Skinner: Edna! % % Nelson shrugs, murmuring. He hits Skinner with a balloon, but it's % not filled with water. % % Skinner: [sniff] Is this corn oil? % Nelson: Canola! % % Hold on Nelson for a beat, then end of act. ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:13) 5:16 / 5:29 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:08) 6:12 / 6:20 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ FABF14 ]======================================= Catch 'em If You Can === CUTS: 14 seconds GAINED: 32 seconds 21:18 / 21:50 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:05) 6:49 / 6:54 * Compression starts after credits (before Marge suggests a movie). ~~~~~ ACT II <0:14> (0:20) 5:06 / 5:26 Homer: You keep thinking that! He and Marge keep laughing, as the couple looks at each other. % Grampa pulls up to a stop sign, and across the street is a sign % saying "ENTERING MIAMI BEACH". Inside, all are in the front seat % (Lisa between Grampa and Bart). % % Grampa: We're here! And it's a good thing, too; the car's been % drivin' funny since Orlando! <0:14> % % Pan to the right rear wheel, where a man in a brown Eeyore-like % costume is stuck. (The costume isn't great; you can see his face.) % He pushes himself out and dusts himself off. As the car pulls off % and he walks away, he says in an Eeyore-like voice: % % Man: Everything happens to Eemore. The car pulls up to the Swelldorado. ! In syndication, this cut might be obvious; on my first pass, I ! thought I caught a glimpse of something between the two bounding ! scenes. Going frame by frame revealed nothing, but my VCR doesn't ! skip by fields (half-frames), and I suspect that it's a leftover in ! one of the fields. If someone with such a capability could check ! this and send me a note, I'd be happy. (See also EABF18.) ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:07) 8:13 / 8:20 * Compression ends once they get to the amusement park. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ FABF15 ]============================================= Simple Simpson === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 31 seconds 21:17 / 21:48 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:05) 6:29 / 6:34 * Compression starts after credits (once place judging starts). ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:20) 8:29 / 8:49 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:06) 5:09 / 5:15 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ FABF13 ]========================================= The Way We Weren't === CUTS: 5 seconds GAINED: 32 seconds 21:17 / 21:49 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:05) 6:38 / 6:43 * Compression starts after credits (before the flashback). ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:08) 6:38 / 6:46 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:05> (0:19) 6:51 / 7:10 As Marge does the laundry: Homer: What about now? Marge: No, Homer. % Marge takes the trash out that night. She sets a can down next to % another one, and Homer pops out of the one she was carrying, with <0:05> % the lid still on his head. % % Homer: [hopefully] What about _now_? % Marge: [tired] No, Homer. In bed: Homer: What about now? ! Thus, three out of four of these are seen in syndication. Not a bad ! cut if one has to be made. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ FABF17 ]======================================== Bart-Mangled Banner === CUTS: 12 seconds GAINED: 32 seconds 21:18 / 21:50 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:05) 6:21 / 6:26 * Compression starts after credits (before Bart's hearing stops). ~~~~~ ACT II <0:12> (0:20) 7:39 / 7:59 Cookie: $17.76? I can't afford to sell a west-side home for that! % Luigi walks into frame. % % Luigi: But what a fantastical year for pizza by the slice! <0:12> % % He starts dancing and singing the Tarantella, which gets the crowd % clapping along. He repeats, this time adding words: % % Luigi: Charge-a-money for-the-pizza buy-myself-a bigga new car! Lisa and Janey walk down the street. ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:07) 6:08 / 6:15 * Compression stops once they get to the exterior of the island. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 % Originally, "America" continued through the credits. Here, it is % once again replaced by the standard theme. ==[ FABF18 ]============================================= Fraudcast News === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 33 seconds 21:17 / 21:50 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:26 / 0:26 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:06) 5:22 / 5:28 * Compression starts after credits (at Smithers' tattoo). ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:13) 7:04 / 7:17 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:14) 7:37 / 7:51 * Compression stops about the time of "Lisa loves Milhouse." ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ ------ ]================================================================