The Simpsons Archive's Simpsons Syndication Cuts Guide Season Thirteen (2001-2002) "Syndication... is there anything they can't do?" 9 Jun 2004 Maintained by Matt Garvey Guide created by Frederic Briere Contributions from Chad Lehman and Tim Reardon [=========================[Season Thirteen Summary]=========================] Story cut episodes: DABF02, DABF01, DABF03, DABF05, DABF09, DABF10, DABF14, DABF12. Compressed episodes: All episodes were compressed. Expanded episode: DABF02. Missing lines: CABF21, DABF02, DABF12. Changed content: DABF01, DABF14, DABF17. Total time cut: 9:22 (9 min 22 sec) Story time cut: 2:27 (2 min 27 sec) Total time gained: 19:36 (19 min 36 sec) Notes: For some reason, many episodes in the season 13 syndication package have what I call a "voiceless intro." That is, in the cloud and driveway scenes, only music is present: no "The Simp-sons," no sound effects, and no "d'oh!" or scream from Homer. Sound effects are restored in the couch gag. The rule seems to be that whenever the intro had to be shortened, this is used (with one exception: DABF05 always had the short one but it is voiceless in syndication). Also, TV ratings do not appear at the top of the screen for any season 13 episode in syndication (though my V-chip reported them as TV-PG, even DABF11; this may just be local, however). I had a hard time finding the original end credit timings for some of the season 13 episodes. I used the section Fox broadcasts to estimate the length and any compression for those, and marked the "ending" lines with asterisks; if you have any information on them, please let me know. ==[ CABF19 ]==================================== Treehouse of Horror XII === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 68 seconds 21:18 / 22:26 Original Halloween opening ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (0:02) 1:02 / 1:04 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:23) 6:17 / 6:40 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:26) 7:11 / 7:37 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:17) 6:00 / 6:17 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ CABF22 ]============================================= The Parent Rap === CUTS: 55 seconds GAINED: 68 seconds 21:17 / 22:25 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 ! Voiceless intro % Blackboard: Nobody reads these anymore % Solo: Funk #2 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 5:43 / 5:43 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (----) 7:15 / 7:15 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:13) 7:08 / 7:21 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48* ==[ CABF20 ]============================================== Homer the Moe === CUTS: 56 seconds GAINED: 66 seconds 21:20 / 22:26 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:56> (0:56) 0:22 / 1:18 ! Voiceless intro % Blackboard: A burp in a jar is not a science project % Solo: Three Blasts ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:08) 4:45 / 4:53 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (----) 7:47 / 7:47 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 7:40 / 7:40 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (0:02) 0:46 / 0:48 ==[ CABF18 ]================================ A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love === CUTS: 56 seconds GAINED: 69 seconds 21:17 / 22:26 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:56> (0:56) 0:22 / 1:18 ! Voiceless intro % Blackboard: Fun does not have a size % Solo: Funk #2 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:12) 5:46 / 5:58 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (----) 8:13 / 8:13 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 6:09 / 6:09 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (0:01) 0:47 / 0:48 ==[ CABF21 ]========================================== The Blunder Years === CUTS: 55 seconds GAINED: 68 seconds 21:17 / 22:25 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 ! Voiceless intro % Blackboard: I am not Charlie Brown on acid % Solo: Funk #2 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 7:59 / 7:59 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (----) 4:53 / 4:53 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:13) 7:14 / 7:27 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ! Two "missing lines" in syndication which I'm indicating as zero- ! length cuts: the first is lost when the syndicators split up Act III ! and the ending for the commercial; the second is because they keep ! switching Fox logos around. [With Act III over, Moe continues into the credits] <0:00> % Moe: This is, uh, that's more gravel. ~~ Gracie Films logo runs and Homer screams twice. Fox logo starts, <0:00> % and Homer lets out a three-second scream. Fade to black. ==[ DABF02 ]======================================== She of Little Faith === CUTS: 95 seconds GAINED: 69 seconds 21:16 / 22:25 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 ! Voiceless intro % Blackboard: I do not have a cereal named after me % Solo: Three Blasts ~~~~~ ACT I <0:40> (0:47) 4:55 / 5:42 Doug: The rocket's ready to go! The nerds giggle, % then Homer steps onto a crate. % % Homer: Super! Now if you'll gather round, I'd like to say a few % words. % <0:08> % They do. Homer pauses, then in a slow loud voice: % % Homer: All nerds clear the launch area! % % The three college students and Milhouse walk away dejectedly. % % Benjamin: [o.s.] Let's wait in the car. Homer: Now all we need is our astronaut! ~~ The camera pans slowly up the side of the rocket, until the tip is visible at the top of the screen. % The camera zooms out to show Homer % and Bart standing next to it. Homer consults his Palm Pilot while % Bart sets the box down. Cut to a shot of the box (and Bart's legs) <15.5> % as he picks up Nibbles and puts him on the ground. Nibbles begins to % walk. Cut to a closer shot of Nibbles for a few seconds, then to the % bottom of the launch tower, where an elevator (complete with hand % rails and caution mat) waits. Nibbles walks in and turns around; a % windowed door slides down, and the elevator slowly ascends. Homer: Son, we are about to break the surly bonds of gravity and punch the face of God! ~~ Milhouse watches the rocket in flight and his eyebrows fall off. % The rocket flies (still with respect to the frame with clouds % zipping by behind it) for a few seconds. Cut to a shot of a wino in % the gutter. He takes a gulp, looks up, and gasps. From behind him, % the rocket is seen soaring across the sky. % % Wino: Wow, that's it! I'm off the hooch! % <16.5> % He tosses the bottle behind him. Farther down the street, a % businessman walks down the sidewalk. The wine lands in his hand. % % Man: Hey! Wine! % % The businessman lies down in the wet gutter, starts drinking, and % tosses away his briefcase. Meanwhile, Bart tracks the rocket with % binoculars while Homer stands on. Cut to the view through the binoculars, where the rocket starts to fly out of control. ! In the original, the dramatic music continues until the wino speaks; ! in syndication, some (but not all) of it overlaps the rocket's ! erratic flight. ~~ * There was compression from the start of the act, but after Nibbles * ejects, it switches to expansion for the rest of it. Go figure. ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (-0:13) 4:56 / 4:43 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (-0:20) 10:14 / 9:54 ! The upcoming line was never heard in any broadcast; it was probably ! taken out before its December '01 airing because of the September ! attacks. Still, it remained in closed captions for all of its ! network runs (including December '02). However, even the closed ! caption no longer exists in syndication, so it is documented here. Burns: Oh, whatever, just take it. <0:00> % Caption: How many doomsday machines does one man need anyway? Lovejoy: Well, next on our agenda, Marge Simpson's devil daughter. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48* ==[ DABF01 ]======================================== Brawl in the Family === CUTS: 48 seconds GAINED: 68 seconds 21:17 / 22:25 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <0:04> (0:15) 6:07 / 6:22 Burns: Moving on to new business, what act of unmitigated evil shall the Republican party undertake this week? % Immediately, Ralph Nader sticks his hand up as if in a classroom. <0:04> % % Nader: Ooh! Ooh ooh ooh! % Burns: [leaning over] You've already done enough, Nader! Krusty: Let's get rid of PBS! ~~~~~ ACT II <0:44> (0:49) 6:14 / 7:03 Marge: Here's the keys. Bart: I got a set. Bart puts on a pair of driving gloves. <0:04> % He then walks left off-screen while Marge blinks a few times. % Bart backs the car up, and his head comes into frame. He finishes backing up, the camera pans to a trailer hitch on the back, and Lisa loops the rope over it. Lisa: Now, Bart! % Seen from above, the rope is draped around a big rock so that it % dangles down the cliff. Bart starts to drive off-screen to the top % left, while Lisa, Marge, and Maggie stand there. Dramatic music. % % The camera pans down to show Homer and Gabriel slowly ascending, % then cuts to a closer shot from them. A growl is heard from below, % and they both scream. % % Cut to the animals standing on each other's backs (about six % alternating wolves and cougars). A cougar climbs to the top and <0:26> % leaps up, swinging its paw. It just misses Homer and Gabriel. % They scream again. % % Gabriel: Give them the food! % % Homer unzips the backpack, reaches in, and dumps out five roast beef % sandwiches from a plastic bag. They land on the ground, and the % animals go toward them and start eating. % % Homer: Oh no, the roast beef is making 'em stronger! And the % falafel is making 'em angrier! As they swing on the rope, a wolf comes up from the bottom left and they scream. Homer wails, and the camera pans down to show that the animals have constructed a see-saw-like device to throw them up in the air. The wolf jumps on it, and a cougar flies into the air. They scream again. The cougar begins falling, % and continues to fall. % % Gabriel: Give 'em the beer! % % Another wolf comes up from the left. % % Gabriel: It will impair their motor skills! % Homer: [grabbing the bag to himself] NO! [slowly] I will _never_ % [after he looks inside, his voice returns to normal and % he pulls out a six-pack] oh, wait, it's Blatz. <0:18> % % He lets the beer fall. It lands, and the animals crowd around it. % They bite into the cans, which spray all over, and they shake them % in their mouths to make them open. Cut to several beer puddles on % the ground, which the animals lap up with their tongues. % % Cut to a bigger puddle, in which four animals are rolling around, % while another holds a can in its paws like catnip, drinking from it. % % Homer and Gabriel watch the drunk animals as they rise. % % Homer: Hey, they're all right! + In syndication, to account for plot, a few scenes were moved around. + After the cougar falls (before the above cut), 2 seconds of the + aerial shot of the car driving away are seen, followed by about two + seconds of Homer and Gabriel going up (the last part of the above <-0:04>+ cut. However, instead of saying "Hey, they're all right!" we have + + Homer: --ha, we did it! + + It seems spliced in abruptly from somewhere else rather than + rerecorded, but I can't locate it elsewhere in this episode/season. In the car, the Simpsons sing about their adventure. ! Note that in the syndicated version, Homer's line "wolves and ! cougars ate our roast beef!" makes no sense, since that wasn't seen. ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:02) 7:48 / 7:50 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (0:02) 0:46 / 0:48 ==[ DABF03 ]====================================== Sweets and Sour Marge === CUTS: 13 seconds GAINED: 68 seconds 21:17 / 22:25 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:11) 6:12 / 6:23 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:26) 7:18 / 7:44 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:13> (0:29) 6:36 / 7:05 The Johnny Depp "Chocolat" promotional candy wails in the fire. % Wiggum: All right, time to throw in the Butterfingers! % % Eddie picks up an armload of the crispety-crunchety-peanut-buttery % candy bars, and tosses them in the fire, which flares up a bit. <0:13> % As the fire burns, a protective aura appears around some of them % and an accompanying noise is heard. The fire pops about six bars % out of itself, and one lands in Eddie's hand. % % Eddie: Hmm. It's not even singed. [hands it to Wiggum] % Wiggum: Even the fire doesn't want them. Kids suffer from sugar withdrawal at the elementary school. ! Anyone want to guess why this was cut? (The accompanying blackboard ! gag in DABF04 is gone too. Oh, and it's a rhetorical question.) ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (0:02) 0:49 / 0:51* ! The cut to commercial in syndication usually comes after James L. ! Brooks, Matt Groening, and Sam Simon are listed, but here it came ! between Al Jean's credit and their Executive Producers screen. This ! might have been done to accommodate the music, but who knows? In any ! case, my original timings reflect this as the act break. ==[ DABF05 ]============================================ Jaws Wired Shut === CUTS: 26 seconds GAINED: 69 seconds 21:16 / 22:25 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ! Voiceless intro (actually the choral "ahh" sounds present), and this ! is the only one that goes against the trend of voiceless-only-when- ! shortened. ~~~~~ ACT I <0:26> (0:34) 4:45 / 5:19 ! One of the most heavily edited 90 seconds ever! My timings are as ! accurate as I could make them, but they're all good to within half ! a second or better. Kid: The professor said not to let him get a boner! The mummy's cloth starts tearing down below, and he looks down. % Then he looks at the camera and shrugs. % % Homer laughs hysterically, then wipes away a tear. % <0:13> % Homer: I'm laughin', but it's a laugh of impatience! % [yelling] Show the movie! % % Another preview starts, and Homer groans. % Establishing shot of Googolplex, captioned "MANY MINUTES LATER..." % Homer: So many previews, so many previews, <0:01> % so many previ-- + Establishing shot of Googolplex is now seen in syndication, slightly <-0:01>+ overlapping the announcer's words below, so part of the closed + curtain is not seen in the edited version. Announcer: And now, our feature presentation! Homer: [gasp]* Goofy voice: If that's a phrase you like** to hear, then you'll _love_ MovieCall!*** Homer's shadow appears in front of the screen. Homer: Aaaagh! Gahhhhh! % In the original version, that's how this scene works, and Homer is % silent during the pitch. In syndication, the shadow appears and % Homer starts screaming at the double asterisk above, and finishes <0:03> % at the triple asterisk. So the three seconds lost are (visually) a % still shot of the movie screen (as well as a lingering visual of the % "Feature Presentation" slide at *) and (soundwise) silence on % Homer's part; in the edited version his scream overlaps the pitch. Homer: [pounding on screen] Start the movie! Start the movie! The crowd shouts along with Homer on the second one. <3.5> % Homer: [looking out at the audience, shaking his left arm] % Start the movie! As ushers listen at the door, another comes out to the lobby. ! Some of the second "start the movie" is heard while the door is seen ! in the syndicated version. ~~ ! Just a few seconds later... The ushers open up the cabinet, and one puts up his hand to reach across the giant Kit-Kat. <1.1> % He does so and rips it open, then comes in from off-screen. He breaks off a piece and gives it to a fellow usher, then hands another piece to a second <1.6> % and to a third. Homer: [waving his shirt around] Stop the madness! Start the movie! ~~ When the ushers begin to advance on Homer, he runs off the stage, just disappearing off the side of the screen. <2.3> % The camera cuts to the left part of the stage, which Homer jumps off % of and then pushes at the door. Seen from outside, Homer runs out. ! The music is edited to fit this cut by being superimposed on the new ! version and ending sooner, so the trim didn't have to be in the ! middle. ~~ Tatum: Litter is my most treacherous foe. I would like to eat its children. % The camera pans to show Homer being chased down the street by the <1.5> % four ushers, still carrying their chocolate weapons. Homer makes a % right turn, so that he's running toward the statue-admiring crowd. He runs left across the screen. Homer: So long, suckers! ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:13) 7:26 / 7:39 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:21) 7:56 / 8:17 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (0:01) 0:47 / 0:48 ==[ DABF04 ]======================================= Half-Decent Proposal === CUTS: 28 seconds GAINED: 70 seconds 21:16 / 22:26 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:28> (0:28) 0:22 / 0:50 ! Voiceless intro % Blackboard: I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers % Solo: Melodic Figure #1 ! Naturally this blackboard says bye-bye, esp. with the cut in DABF03. ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:11) 5:38 / 5:49 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:14) 7:04 / 7:18 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:15) 7:26 / 7:41 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (0:02) 0:46 / 0:48 ==[ DABF06 ]=============================== The Bart Wants What It Wants === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 68 seconds 21:17 / 22:25 Original opening ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 1:34 / 1:34 ! I can't believe they left in the longest regular opening in its ! entirety! This has only happened before in AABF17. ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:18) 5:08 / 5:26 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:27) 7:46 / 8:13 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:21) 6:03 / 6:24 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (0:02) 0:46 / 0:48 ==[ DABF07 ]================================ The Lastest Gun in the West === CUTS: 55 seconds GAINED: 66 seconds 21:19 / 22:25 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 ! Voiceless intro % Blackboard: Making Milhouse cry is not a science project % Solo: Three Blasts ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:02) 3:43 / 3:45 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:06) 11:18 /11:24 ! Notice the extreme timings of Acts I and II. I did a little research ! and found that this is the longest act ever (the second-longest in ! original: Act II of 3F22 [11:09], in syndication: Act II of 9F02 ! [10:20]). However, Act I is not the shortest act; in both original ! and syndication Act III of BABF11 (3:16/3:18) has that distinction. ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:03) 5:07 / 5:10 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48* ==[ DABF09 ]==================================== The Old Man and the Key === CUTS: 3 seconds GAINED: 14 seconds 21:17 / 21:31 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:21 / 0:21 ~~~~~ ACT I <0:03> (0:04) 5:37 / 5:41 Abe: Is this the Dairy Queen? The whale groans once, <0:03> % then again. He and Abe stare at each other. Abe: But, Zelda, if you're looking for something with a big back- seat and a lot of gas, I'm your man. ! Talk about a stupid cut! Holy cow! ~~ * Compression starts in the driving class, for one whopping second. ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:05) 6:19 / 6:24 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:05) 8:10 / 8:15 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:50 / 0:50 ==[ DABF08 ]=============================== Tales from the Public Domain === CUTS: 55 seconds GAINED: 68 seconds 21:18 / 22:26 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 ! Voiceless intro % Blackboard: Vampire is not a career choice % Solo: Funk #2 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:13) 7:30 / 7:43 ! A scene from the promotional commercial never made it to the final ! version. It was probably meant to go after Homer/Odysseus sailed ! away, as if to show the truth about the sirens: # Selma-siren: [in her usual gravelly voice] I don't think these clams |0:04| # are dead. [pulling the shell on her left breast back # up] Where do you think _you're_ going? ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (----) 6:46 / 6:46 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 5:51 / 5:51 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ DABF10 ]=========================================== Blame It on Lisa === CUTS: 6 seconds GAINED: 40 seconds 21:18 / 21:58 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:11) 5:59 / 6:10 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:13) 7:20 / 7:33 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:06> (0:16) 6:49 / 7:05 Kidnapper: You say no to that face. % Dramatic music starts (in syndication it plays in progress). % The tram car swings down and smashes into the side of the mountain, % then falls off the cable and tumbles down while the family screams <0:03> % inside. It bounces a few times on the ground, then the camera cuts % to an inside shot of the car. % % Lisa's face smacks against the "camera," she grunts, and then falls % away to the right. Then Homer is on the left, about to smack into the front, which he does, then grunts and opens his eyes. % He falls % away to the right as Lisa did, and then Marge smacks into the camera <0:03> % and grunts. They all tumble around a little more. Cut to exterior % shot of the car falling. After it gets to the right side of the % screen, it continues tumbling and then comes to rest on the ground. ! Actually, the first cut is closer to 3.5 seconds, but oh well. Also, ! it's funny (and still visible in syndication) that when Homer hits ! his head in the car, he looks briefly like he did in season 1. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48* ==[ DABF11 ]======================================= Weekend at Burnsie's === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 64 seconds 21:18 / 22:22 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:12) 4:00 / 4:12 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:32) 10:07 /10:39 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:20) 6:01 / 6:21 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ DABF12 ]================================================= Gump Roast === CUTS: 7 seconds GAINED: 10 seconds 21:18 / 21:28 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 5:17 / 5:17 ! For some reason, the vocals were dropped from the "Mental House ! Rock" song in syndication. Note also that the original scene from ! BABF05 was shortened significantly for this episode's first run; ! that's not a syndication cut, but it's worth knowing. Homer: [v.o.] We do everything together. % Singer: Doctors threw a party at the looney bin, % you gotta be crazy if you wanna get in. <0:00> % Napoleon is playing his imaginary sax, % the dance floor's filling up with maniacs! % Let's rock. Marge: Whoa! [re-enters] Wow, a 50s nostalgia cafe! <0:00> % Singer: If you won't dance with the doc, % he'll give you electroshock! Zap zap zap! Owner: Well, well, well. I've never seen such reckless disregard for a wife's well-being in my life. ~~~~~ ACT II <0:07> (0:07) 7:23 / 7:30 Homer: Ow, my legs; this is the worst pain ever! Homer grunts six times as he hits six moguls, % then one more. <0:03> % % Homer: Oww, ha-ha-ha-ha! [not laughter; he hits six more moguls] He goes down the ski jump and falls off. ~~ Homer: Faster, Marge, faster! % In an aerial shot, Homer looks worried as a few turtles are seen at % the surface of the water. <0:03> % % Homer: The snapping turtles are massing! % % Homer is seen approaching the shore for about a second, continuing until he reaches the beach and ruins everyone's time. Homer: Heads up! Coming through, look out! Hey, volleyball, can I play later? <0:01> % Establish Apu working on a sand model of the Taj Mahal. Homer % approaches from the left and then crashes into it. Homer: Hi, Apu! ! Note: In the syndicated version of 5F19, the snapping turtles line ! is edited out but Homer's complete approach is seen; the other cuts ! here are intact in their episodes' syndicated versions. On the other ! hand, the "Mt. Splashmore" scene from 7F18 appears in full for the ! first time in syndication. ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:03) 7:19 / 7:22 * Compression ends at the People's Choice Awards. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:57 / 0:57 ==[ DABF13 ]======================================== I Am Furious Yellow === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 58 seconds 21:18 / 22:16 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:19) 6:53 / 7:12 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:21) 7:40 / 8:01 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:18) 5:35 / 5:53 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ DABF14 ]=========================================== The Sweetest Apu === CUTS: 4 seconds GAINED: 27 seconds 21:18 / 21:45 No blackboard, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ! Though technically the intro was edited, the voices are still there. % Blackboard: I will never lie about being cancelled again ! The original airing had this blackboard gag to refer to the ! misinterpretation of a remark by Matt Groening about the show's age. ! It seems as though the decision to use this gag was close to the ! last minute, because rather than a blackboard-driveway-couch intro ! like those in season 6, as soon as Bart ran out the classroom door, ! it essentially joined the usual short intro "in progress" with Homer ! running for his life, so the driveway was not seen. In syndication, ! the standard short intro (with driveway) is used instead. I have ! heard that a different opening was used on a later Fox run, but ! until I hear something concrete I will use the first airing's ! properties here. See also DABF17 below. ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:08) 6:24 / 6:32 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:12) 8:19 / 8:31 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:04> (0:07) 5:25 / 5:32 Manjula: All right, we will write a list. % Marge: [excited, rubbing her hands together] At the Golden Banana? <0:04> % Manjula: No! % % Manjula crosses her arms and Marge sighs. Apu: Over, under, round and round, so your feet won't touch the ground. ~~ * Compression stops once Apu has looked at his reincarnation chart. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48* ==[ DABF15 ]================================= Little Girl in the Big Ten === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 38 seconds 21:18 / 21:56 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:11) 5:46 / 5:57 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:18) 9:28 / 9:46 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:09) 4:54 / 5:03 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48* ==[ DABF16 ]============================================ The Frying Game === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 12 seconds 21:19 / 21:31 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:23 / 0:23 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:09) 5:37 / 5:46 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:03) 7:55 / 7:58 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 6:36 / 6:36 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ DABF17 ]============================== Poppa's Got a Brand New Badge === CUTS: 0 seconds GAINED: 28 seconds 21:18 / 21:46 Original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:22 / 0:22 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:07) 5:23 / 5:30 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:11) 7:49 / 8:00 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:10) 6:56 / 7:06 ! This promo bit didn't make it to the final aired version; it was ! almost certainly because the producers didn't like the joke, because ! there was plenty of time. In spite of that, I'm listing it here; ! it was probably intended to go right before Homer went outside to ! face Fat Tony. # In the Simpsons' dining room, Lisa tugs at Homer's arm. # # Lisa: [pleading] Run away! # # Cut to Bart, who's holding a purplish gown with a light-colored # skirt of some sort, by the hanger. It's partly resting on the floor |5.5| # because of Bart's stature. # # Bart: [picking it up slightly] You can wear one of Mom's dresses. # # Homer frees himself from Lisa's grip, then walks slowly toward the # door. He speaks lamentingly: # # Homer: I haven't been a size 6 since my prom. ~~ ! A curious cut at the end of Act III; in the original, the executive ! producer credits were sped up to make room for this, so it's a ! zero-length cut, but the image originally took up almost two seconds ! (and here, of course, takes up none). It seems like an odd thing to ! take out, unless he's not dead anymore or (like DABF14) maybe it was ! inserted after the making of the "master copy" that the syndicators ! used for the synd version. In another 10 years when season 13 comes ! out on DVD I wonder if such things will be included. Homer tucks Maggie in. The Sopranos music starts, and the camera zooms in as Maggie opens her eyes and smiles slyly behind her pacifier. Fade to black, % then quickly to this slide: % % -------------------- % | | % | [Lisa and Dr.] | % | [Gould in lab] | % | [ from 5F05 ] | <0:00> % | | % | | % -------------------- % Dedicated to the memory % of % STEPHEN JAY GOULD % % Fade back out, more quickly in original, to Al Jean's slide. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ ------ ]================================================================