The Simpsons Archive's Simpsons Syndication Cuts Guide Season Twelve (2000-2001) "Syndication... is there anything they can't do?" 06 Apr 2009 Maintained by Matt Garvey Guide created by Frederic Briere Contributions from Chad Lehman and Tim Reardon [==========================[Season Twelve Summary]==========================] Story cut episodes: All except CABF04, CABF02, BABF22, CABF14, CABF17. Compressed episodes: BABF21, BABF17, CABF01, CABF04, CABF02, CABF22, CABF12, CABF11, CABF14, CABF16, CABF17. Expanded episodes: BABF20, CABF03, CABF05, CABF08, CABF10, CABF09, CABF13. Changed content: CABF12, CABF09, CABF16. Total time cut: 24:50 (24 min 50 sec) Story time cut: 6:35 (6 min 35 sec) Total time gained: 24:54 (24 min 54 sec) Notes: I had a hard time finding the original end credit timings for most of the season 12 episodes. I used the section Fox broadcasts to estimate the length and any compression for those, and marked the "ending" lines with asterisks; if you have any information on them, please let me know. Update: 4/6/09: Tim Reardon mentions that BABF20 and BABF17 are too short as described here, with some cuts/compression not in his synd versions. That's probably accurate. My synd versions are from WUAB, 9/9/02, and were probably shortened by the station (a no-no!) by 30 seconds each. I will adjust the SCG when I can do a proper comparison. ==[ BABF21 ]===================================== Treehouse of Horror XI === CUTS: 42 seconds GAINED: 70 seconds 21:17 / 22:27 Original Halloween opening ~~~~~ OPENING <----> (----) 0:50 / 0:50 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:07) 5:35 / 5:42 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:09) 6:05 / 6:14 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:42> (0:52) 8:00 / 8:52 The dolphins march across the beach, one squeaking to the tune of "I don't know but I've been told." <0:04> % The other dolphins repeat it. The leader squeaks again, and the % dolphins start to respond, when one runs into a volleyball net. ! The audio when he runs into the net in syndication is from the first ! iteration, the one ending on a high note (not a low note as in the ! second). ~~ In the studio, Kent's cue card man motions for him to stop talking. % Kent: Um...di-did I say killer dolphins? I meant killer...Italians! % <0:12> % The photo behind him changes to one of Luigi. % % Kent: Gray, bottle-nosed, intelligent Italians! % Homer: Intelligent Italians? Something's wrong. Kent: [quietly] It's dolphins. [regular] We have to stop them. If we speak in low-frequency voices, I don't think they can-- [a beach ball hits him] Ow! A dolphin appears on screen, and throws the ball at Kent three more times, then at the camera, causing it to go to static. % At home, the Simpson family gasps. % % Bart: Those dolphins seem bent on mayhem! [pause] We've got to warn % Grampa! % % Homer dials the phone, but gets a busy signal. <0:19> % % Homer: Hmm, phone's off the hook! Everything must be okay! % % At the Retirement Castle, the phone receiver hangs out of Grampa's % reach. Grampa groans as a dolphin eats him from behind. % % Grampa: Aww, I'm gonna give your liver such a punchin'! Establishing shot of town hall. ! In the syndicated version, one wonders why Kent mumbles "it's ! dolphins"; it seems like a sloppy cut. ~~ Homer opens the door of the town hall, and the residents gasp. Quick pan of the dolphins immediately outside. <0:01> % About two dozen dolphins are seen standing on balconies and roofs % of two buildings; one dolphin squeaks. Dolphins are seen gathered around a golden statue of a dolphin leaping out of the water. <0:01> % Dolphins stand around a jungle gym. Dolphins balance on power lines. <0:03> % A dolphin stands in front of a yellow classic car, flipping a coin. Marge: Jeez...so many dolphins! ~~ A dolphin hits Homer with a sack of oranges. Homer: Ow, ooh! % The camera pans to show Bart watching in alarm. % <0:02> % Homer: Ow! % % Bart angrily reaches for his slingshot, then readies it and fires. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (0:02) 0:47 / 0:49* ==[ BABF20 ]================================= A Tale of Two Springfields === CUTS: 130 seconds GAINED: 84 seconds 20:47 / 22:11 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:56> (0:56) 0:22 / 1:18 % Blackboard: I will not plant subliminal messagores % ("Al" and "Gore" in green) % Solo: Downward Blues #1 ~~~~~ ACT I <0:09> (-0:04) 7:20 / 7:16 Homer lifts his shirt to show that he's been hurt; his heart beats. <0:04> % Lisa: How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt? % Homer: What am I, a tailor? Homer pages through the phone book. ~~ Homer: Oh, if only it were that easy, Marge. % The badger growls in the window, and Homer waves it off. % <0:04> % Homer: Go away, we got bigger problems now! % % The badger groans sadly and leaves. Homer: I'm not gonna stand for this. ~~ Homer whimpers in a fetal position while the "wrong number" tone continues. <0:01> % One more cycle of the tone is heard while he whimpers. Establishing shot of the power plant. ~~~~~ ACT II <0:02> (-0:10) 6:24 / 6:14 Homer: A wave of disease should...hey! % Stop streaming over the wall! <0:02> % % The badger climbs over it. Homer: At least wait till I'm through talking! ~~~~~ ACT III <1:03> (0:44) 5:50 / 6:34 Guard: Whatever you say, pal. Wacko! % Cut to shot of Bart and Homer on the floor. % % Homer: Wow...The Who! % % Homer runs over to a halogen lamp, giggles giddily, and smashes it % on the rug while grunting. % % Homer: Woo! [hands over his head] Rock and roll! % <0:20> % Bart runs over to the drum and kicks it three times, also grunting. % % John: What the hell are you doing? % Bart: [quick laugh] Duh, trashing the hotel room! % Pete: But we promised the desk clerk we'd be good! % % Pete takes off his guitar. % % Roger: Yeah, we don't want to lose our pool privileges! % Homer: What-ev-er. The point is, I'm Homer Simpson. % They all turn around. <0:03> % % John: The mayor of New Springfield? % Homer: That's right! Roger: The _crazy_ mayor of New Springfield? ~~ John: We'll do it! Bart: Yeah! % John: Just send a cab for us. <0:05> % Homer: What, something wrong with your legs? % Roger: You're right. The walk will do us good! Establishing shot of Olde Springfield Arena. ~~ Homer: Pac Man fever! % Ah-do-do-do-doo! It's-a driving me a cra-a- <0:08> % a-a-zy! Look, Lisa, Daddy's in the Who! % % Shot of a nonplussed Lisa. Homer sees a mop, says "Ooh!" and puts it on his head. ~~ Roger: Why not just buy telephones with auto-ringer, or as you Yanks call it, speed dial? The crowd murmurs, someone says "That's a good idea!" <0:04> % Roger: Radio Shack has some great ones! % Pete: Huh. Says you. Homer: "Magic Bus!" ~~ Near the end of the act, during the concert, the camera zooms out. A drawn-out "yeah!" is sung. % Cut to a shot of the moon, while the music and singing continue. % A lone badger sits on a hill, and is joined by others. They growl. % <0:23> % Badger: [in subtitles] Come on! Let's get 'em while they're dancing. % % The lead badger points toward town. They all swarm down, then one % straggler runs down the hill, squeaking. Executive Producer credits are displayed. ! The music is smoothly cut, since the song ends properly in both ! versions. I think it was a simple intertwining job. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (-0:02) 0:51 / 0:49* ==[ BABF17 ]========================================= Insane Clown Poppy === CUTS: 65 seconds GAINED: 96 seconds 20:50 / 22:26 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:22 / 1:17 % Blackboard: I will not surprise the incontinent % Solo: Hot Jazz ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:10) 6:05 / 6:15 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:18) 8:45 / 9:03 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:10> (0:13) 4:50 / 5:03 Krusty: Oh, it's going to take forever to go through all these. % Homer: I have a plan. [looks at a vent near the ceiling] % % Later, the vent is stuck to Homer's butt, and a piece of the wall is % missing. % % Homer: Well, that didn't work. % Louie: [off-screen] Hey, Legs, let's go jump on Tony's bed! % Legs: Sure! <0:10> % Krusty: Aah! % % The vent falls off Homer's butt. % % Homer: Uh-oh! % % Homer and Krusty rush to the bed. % % Krusty: We gotta get out of here! Just take 'em all! ! This cut makes it less apparent why Homer is looking to the right ! immediately before the cut, and also gives them no reason to leave ! the room! ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48* ==[ CABF01 ]======================================== Lisa the Treehugger === CUTS: 59 seconds GAINED: 69 seconds 21:18 / 22:27 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 % Blackboard: I am not the acting President % Solo: Funk Groove ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:04) 5:41 / 5:45 ~~~~~ ACT II <0:03> (0:07) 7:51 / 7:58 Lisa: Don't worry, I'll be right back. [kisses tree] <0:03> % Eww, someone's been marking their territory. Lisa runs toward her house. ! In the syndicated version you can see Lisa start to make the "eww" ! face; another sloppy cut that leaves rerun viewers wondering why. ~~~~~ ACT III <0:01> (0:03) 6:35 / 6:38 Kent: No, it wasn't Mr. Burns; it was this majestic old redwood, which was brutally cut down last night. The news camera shows police near the fallen tree, <0:01> % then stays on this essentially motionless scene for one second. Lisa: Ohh... ~~ ! Later, there is about half a second cut from Moe's cocktail onion ! grimace, but this seems like a boost of compression rather than a ! real cut; nothing is really lost since it's a still shot. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48* ==[ CABF04 ]========================================== Homer vs. Dignity === CUTS: 55 seconds GAINED: 62 seconds 21:15 / 22:17 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 % Blackboard: I was not the sixth Beatle % Solo: Crazy Be-Bop ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:02) 7:58 / 8:00 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:02) 5:55 / 5:57 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:02) 6:11 / 6:13 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (0:01) 0:48 / 0:49* ==[ CABF02 ]============================= The Computer Wore Menace Shoes === CUTS: 54 seconds GAINED: 68 seconds 21:18 / 22:26 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:54> (0:54) 0:23 / 1:17 % Blackboard: I will only provide a urine sample when asked % Solo: Funk Groove ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:04) 6:43 / 6:47 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:05) 6:38 / 6:43 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:04) 6:46 / 6:50 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (0:01) 0:48 / 0:49* ==[ CABF03 ]====================================== The Great Money Caper === CUTS: 70 seconds GAINED: 68 seconds 21:19 / 22:27 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 % Blackboard: The nurse is not dealing % Solo: Mellow Yellow ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 6:48 / 6:48 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (----) 6:48 / 6:48 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:15> (0:14) 6:31 / 6:45 Homer: He's a filthy crook! Now let's all hit the hay. % Marge: It's ten in the morning! <0:07> % Homer: I guess you haven't heard of choloroform. % % Homer dabs some on a rag, inhales deeply, and drops to his pillow. Establishing shot of courthouse. ~~ Lawyer: Hazy like the moors of Scotland? [gallery gasps] Homer: Yes, exactly! [murmurs in the court, ending on a shot of the Simpsons] % Homer: Ohhh... % <0:08> % Homer takes out another green bottle, dumps the contents on a rag, % and inhales. But then: % % Homer: Hey, [looks at bottle] Mountain Dew? Oh-aww... Another external shot of the courthouse. ! Take out one chloroform joke and the other is sure to follow, eh? ! Odd that they're both right before an establishing shot of the ! courthouse. ~~ * The missing second is one of expansion at the end, during the * executive producer credits; this time they faded the music out * before the break, and apparently needed an extra second to do so. * As well, a small bit of the music is repeated at the credits' start. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (-0:01) 0:49 / 0:48* ==[ CABF06 ]==================================== Skinner's Sense of Snow === CUTS: 70 seconds GAINED: 70 seconds 21:17 / 22:27 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 % Blackboard: Science class should not end in tragedy % Solo: Funk Groove ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 7:00 / 7:00 ~~~~~ ACT II <0:01> (0:01) 6:23 / 6:24 Skinner: Help! It's caving in! The class watches in shock as the snow rumbles, <0:01> % continuing to look shocked for one more second. The snow comes out the delivery window, along with Skinner. ~~~~~ ACT III <0:14> (0:14) 6:43 / 6:57 Ned: Sounds like a plan! Homer: [guttural sounds] <0:01> % [snoring sound] Skinner writes his punishment on the blackboard. ! Actually, I timed it at about .7 seconds; rounding of the other cuts ! works out, but there actually are some very tiny cuts (less than .2 ! seconds) during this act, after this point. So though the act ! summary doesn't reflect it, there is a total of about .3-.5 seconds ! of very choppy compression. ~~ Milhouse crumples and tears up a page in Lisa's permanent record. % But it puts itself back together, goes back into the binder, <0:03> % and the drawer closes. % Lisa and Milhouse gasp. Nelson: Hey, look at how much Skinner makes! ~~ Homer: We're free! % _And_ we've got something to eat! % <0:05> % Homer puts down Nibbles' plastic ball, then sticks a windshield % scraper out the hole in the windshield. He gasps. Somehow, ice % breaks off the car at the front left wheel well, then Ned's door. Homer puts his foot down on the pedal, and they drive off. ~~ Bart: No, seriously, I wasn't listening. % Skinner: One of those situations wher-- <0:05> % Bart: Gotcha! % % Skinner laughs, then Bart does. Skinner musses Bart's hair. Homer: Come on, kids. Let's leave this awful place and never come back. ! So they cut those parts but not the Nibbles "ball sack" joke. An ! odd choice by the syndicators, considering that that would have ! freed up about the same time as they cut. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ BABF22 ]======================================================= HOMR === CUTS: 55 seconds GAINED: 68 seconds 21:18 / 22:26 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 % Blackboard: Network TV is not dead % Solo: Funk #2 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:04) 7:35 / 7:39 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:05) 7:38 / 7:43 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:03) 4:55 / 4:58 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (0:01) 0:47 / 0:48* ==[ CABF05 ]================================================== Pokey Mom === CUTS: 101 seconds GAINED: 68 seconds 21:17 / 22:25 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 % Blackboard: I will not "let the dogs out" % Solo: Mellow Yellow ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (-0:08) 5:06 / 4:58 ~~~~~ ACT II <0:24> (0:11) 8:14 / 8:25 Homer catches Marge's kiss. Homer: Ow, my back! % Establishing shot of prison. % Marge walks through a hallway in the prison, and an iron-bar door % clangs shut behind her. Marge lets out a surprised murmur. % % Marge: Mrs. Marge Simpson, I'm here to teach an art class. <0:24> % Guard 1: Oooh, art class! La-di-da! % % The guard buzzes her in. Another door slides open and closes. % % Guard 2: This is Ike Pross. He's going to solitary. % Guard 1: Oooh, solitary! La-di-da! [buzzes him in] Marge: Welcome to freeing the artist within. Not literally, of course. ! In the original, a view from the back of the classroom, of the ! prisoners' backs, Marge, and a guard, accompanies this line until ! "not literally." In syndication, this is replaced by the ! establishing shot of the prison. ~~~~~ ACT III <0:22> (0:11) 6:45 / 6:56 Jack: We only get basic cable. Wiggum: Ouch! % Yeah, I also like that Sex and the City. Huh. None of % those girls look like my wife! Ha! Heh-heh-heh...heh. % Jack: Sportscenter's not bad. % Wiggum: Yeah, I never got that show. <0:22> % Jack: What's to get? They just tell the scores. % Wiggum: Yeah, I suppose. Hey, you ever meet any mob guys? Are they % really like The Sopranos? % Jack: I told you, we just get basic cable. % Wiggum: Oh, right, right, right. Listen, if I'm getting too chatty-- ! Of course the cut makes Wiggum's "chatty" line make much less sense. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (-0:01) 0:49 / 0:48* ==[ CABF08 ]========================================= Worst Episode Ever === CUTS: 79 seconds GAINED: 71 seconds 21:14 / 22:25 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 % Blackboard: I will not hide the teacher's medication % Solo: Downward Blues #2 ~~~~~ ACT I <0:24> (0:21) 6:41 / 7:02 Gallagher throws Homer out, and Homer lands with a grunt. % Gallagher: And you are banned for life from all of my performances % and TV specials! % Homer: But I can still see your movies, right? % Gallagher: Oooh! <0:20> % % Gallagher slams the doors, and Homer starts sobbing onto his right % sleeve. The flashback ends, and Homer continues sobbing, also on % his right arm. He turns to Bart: % % Homer: And I never saw Gallagher again. Lisa: Ooh, it says here that special effects wiz Tom Savini is gonna be appearing at the comic book store tonight! ~~ CBG turns Bart and Milhouse away. Homer: Sorry, son. % CBG: Thanks for the tipoff. [hands Homer some money] <0:04> % Homer: No problem. % % They walk inside, and the door slams shut. CBG: Appearing exclusively, here at the Android's Dungeon... ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (-0:03) 7:03 / 7:00 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (-0:02) 6:19 / 6:17 * Expansion starts (somewhat intermittently) as CBG and Agnes "admire" * the sunset. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48* ==[ CABF07 ]========================================== Tennis the Menace === CUTS: 68 seconds GAINED: 68 seconds 21:17 / 22:25 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ! The color in this episode seems rather off; it could have been a ! local problem but could also be because of the try at digital ! coloring causing a transfer error to the syndicated tapes. It causes ! most light blue things to appear green, and other colors are a ! little different as well. The 10-year-old animation of the clouds ! and driveway looks fine, though, which supports this hypothesis. ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 % Blackboard: I will not publish the Principal's credit report % Solo: Downward Blues #2 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 5:06 / 5:06 ~~~~~ ACT II <0:13> (0:13) 7:44 / 7:57 Marge: You know, a tennis court can really make your house look classy! % I hear Mel Brooks has one! I mean, _Sir_ Mel Brooks! % Homer: And it's bad news for the gophers! <0:09> % % Pan to show bumps popping up in the court, and then cut to a % cross-section of the ground, where two gophers are seen trying to % push up the half-inch of concrete while grunting. Marge: And it's gonna do wonders for our social life! ~~ Lenny: We never knew nobody with their own tennis rink! <0:01> % Homer and Marge smile at each other. Carl: So what happens now, is the food free or do we pay someone? ! In the original, Carl is seen saying "so what happens now," but in ! the syndicated version the footage of Homer and Marge overlaps the ! line. The cut is actually the second of silence while they look at ! each other, and then the video of Carl. ~~ * There doesn't seem to be compression but a few very short cuts * during this episode. About .15 seconds are cut between the shot of * Kent's earpiece and his writers in the van. More to follow. ~~ Bart: So from now on, all hats are banned from the school. <0:03> % Marge: Even bonnets? % Lisa: Especially bonnets! Homer: I've had it with that school! ~~ * Another very short cut that could just be intermittent compression, * about .27 seconds as Homer comes down the stairs near the end of the * act. ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 7:16 / 7:16 * Two more very short cuts which won't make it to the totals because * of rounding: about .15 seconds before Burns and Smithers are seen * in the audience, then about .1 right before Agassi takes Homer's * racket. I've compared different recordings of the original, so if * it's a glitch it could be from the local station's copy. Also, the * Executive Producer credits are a tiny bit compressed. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48* ==[ CABF10 ]====================================== Day of the Jackanapes === CUTS: 86 seconds GAINED: 72 seconds 21:15 / 22:27 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 % Blackboard: The hamster did not have "a full life" % Solo: Funk #2 ~~~~~ ACT I <0:09> (0:03) 8:32 / 8:35 Marge: Well, I think it's good for a show to go off the air before it becomes stale and repetitive. % Smithers bursts in the front door. % <0:09> % Smithers: Maggie shot Mr. Burns again! % % The family looks around, and crickets are heard. Homer coughs % uneasily. Kent: Krusty the Clown's retirement has provoked an outpouring of anguish... ! If they had to cut that line, why didn't they cut Marge's as well? ! On one hand, it seems pointless to set up a joke and not finish it, ! but on the other hand they might have decided to let the viewers ! get the meta-reference. ~~~~~ ACT II <0:12> (0:10) 3:46 / 3:56 Wiggum: Oh, it's so great to see a kid using a wooden bat. % These days, it's all aluminum this and George W. that. % Lou: [pulls a mini pinball game out of his bag] Hey, Chief, look % what I got in my Laffy Meal! % Wiggum: Ohh, mini pinball! [grabs it] <0:12> % Lou: Hey, give that back! % Wiggum: Give what back, Lou? [plays it] He-he-he, he-he-he, he-he. % % Pan to the window, where Bart is still smashing the Krusty statue. % He smashes it once, then three more times. Bob cackles evilly. ~~~~~ ACT III <0:10> (0:04) 7:45 / 7:49 Establishing shot of KrustyLu on the night of his last show. % Ron Howard, dressed in a white robe and holding a martini, walks <0:10> % down a red carpet with his date. The crowd cheers. Gary Coleman % walks by in a suit, doing some karate moves. Kent: Kent Brockman here at Krusty the Clown's final show. ! The rest of the music from the establishing shot overlaps Kent's ! line a little in syndication. Also note that Gary Coleman is still ! credited in the syndicated version, even though his "part" is cut. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:49 / 0:49* ==[ CABF12 ]===================================== New Kids on the Blecch === CUTS: 55 seconds GAINED: 69 seconds 21:16 / 22:25 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 % Blackboard: I will not buy a Presidential pardon % Solo: Funk #2 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:02) 4:49 / 4:51 ! Thanks to "Drew Dawg" for his mention of this in the capsule: After ! the original airing, the following change was made for subsequent ! network runs and syndication (including the closed captions), which ! I believe is a first (such a change remaining in synd). I don't see ! why the original line is so offensive, or why the substitution is ! any less offensive, but maybe I'm missing some subtle difference. During the Springfield Marathon, Smithers is seen running in an odd fashion. Pan out to show Burns whipping him from a rickshaw. Burns: Faster, rickshaw driver, faster! Smithers: Ow! Sir, the whip isn't helping. Burns: Silence! You call yourself % a Chinaman? + Chinese? Burns whips him again, and Smithers grunts. ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:05) 7:11 / 7:16 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:06) 8:06 / 8:12 + In the original, "Join the Navy" is sung over the Executive + Producer credits, and continues through the voice credits. For <0:00> + syndication, they used the "happy" music for the Executive + Producers; it sounds like they used the same bit as in the end of + CABF10. See below for more. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (0:01) 0:47 / 0:48 ! This is complicated to explain. In the original Fox airing, the ! "Join the Navy" song (with the lyrics forward) starts over the ! Executive Producer credits, and continues till the voice credits ! finish, at which point it switches to footage of N'Sync with a split ! screen. In syndication, this format is kept, except that the song ! doesn't start until Dan Castellaneta's name; its timing isn't ! changed, but it is cut off at the end. In reality, about 6 seconds ! are missing, about one of which is from compression. Anyway, with ! some rounding of the times, here is how it works: + [Originally heard during Executive Producer credits] <-0:05>+ Three music blasts. + + Singer: Join the Navy-yyy- y. Join the Navy-yyy-y. % Join the Na-vy-y-y! [ends on a high note] <0:05> % % A few seconds of electronic noises. Milhouse: It's N'Sync! ==[ CABF09 ]======================================== Hungry Hungry Homer === CUTS: 80 seconds GAINED: 71 seconds 21:16 / 22:27 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 % Blackboard: "Temptation Island" was not a sleazy piece of crap % Solo: Wailing Horn ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (-0:03) 7:05 / 7:02 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (-0:02) 5:07 / 5:05 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:25> (0:21) 7:53 / 8:14 Mr. Duff: Fans love wackos. <0:06> % Remember that busty woman who ran out on % the field and farted at the ballplayers? The camera angle changes to show the two men in the window from the ground. Mr. Duff: I think we've found our newest attraction! ~~ Homer eats the food being thrown at him. Fireworks go off. The camera angle switches to a far shot. % Homer runs a little farther, % then the camera cuts once again to show the mayor of Albuquerque % watching the game on his New Mexico-styled TV. % % Mayor: Damn! That town's got too much spirit. % % He turns off the TV. The front of his desk is shown, with a "Mayor <0:19> % of Albuquerque" sign. A secretary stands by with a pad. % % Mayor: Looks like we'll have to steal some other baseball team. % See what Dallas wants for the Cowboys. % Secretary: Uh, that's a football team, sir. % Mayor: They'll play what I tell 'em to play. [stands up and % looks out the window] For I am [sinister music starts % and the light dims] the Mayor of Albuquerque! Executive Producer credits run. + In the original, the music for those credits was some stings of the + sinister music. In syndication, since they took the last bit out, <0:00> + it cuts from Homer to the credits, and uses "happy" music most + likely taken from the end of CABF10. The length of the music left + out is not included in the 19 seconds above. ! Also note that the episode has a completely different ending mood in ! syndication, plus the issue of the Isotopes' moving remains ! unresolved. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48* ==[ CABF11 ]============================================= Bye Bye Nerdie === CUTS: 64 seconds GAINED: 71 seconds 21:16 / 22:27 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 % Blackboard: I will not scare the Vice President % Solo: Crazy Be-Bop ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:02) 6:10 / 6:12 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:02) 7:24 / 7:26 ~~~~~ ACT III <0:09> (0:11) 6:31 / 6:42 Marge: That's quite an act to follow, Lisa. Lisa: I know! And the crowd is so distinguished! % The inventor of the walkie-talkie is out there! <0:09> % Marge: [doubtfully] Where? % Lisa: [pointing] Third row, near the aisle. % Marge: [gasps] Ooh, you're right! And _that's_ not his wife! Professor Frink tries to quiet down the audience. ! This is a particularly useless cut. Why they singled out that one ! scene to cut (after it was already under way) is beyond me. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (0:01) 0:48 / 0:49 ==[ CABF13 ]============================================= Simpson Safari === CUTS: 121 seconds GAINED: 70 seconds 21:16 / 22:26 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ! One of the most heavily cut, then expanded, episodes ever. 51 ! seconds of expansion? Give me a break! It was hell figuring out the ! cuts here! ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:39 / 1:34 % Blackboard: I will not flush evidence % Solo: Main Theme, Variation #3 ~~~~~ ACT I <0:11> (-0:05) 5:45 / 5:40 Homer: My old lunchbox! % View of the lunchbox, which says "BURKE'S LAW" on top and has some % people underneath: a woman in a pink gown, a man in a suit, and a <0:03> % man closer to the front of the scene, who looks like a detective. % % Homer: [dreamily] Ooh, that Amos Burke made his own rules! He opens the lunchbox and hums. ~~ Executive: Mr. Simpson, we've decided to make good on your vacation. Homer: Woohoo! % Homer leans over to the executive. % % Homer: [in a gruff whisper] Hey, Mister... % Executive: Yes? <0:08> % Homer: On the plane, I'm gonna need two [holds up his fingers] % seats... % % The camera zooms out to show his butt cleavage, to which he points. % % Homer: [normal voice] ...for the twins. Establishing shot of the Simpson house. ~~~~~ ACT II <0:46> (0:27) 6:22 / 6:49 Kitenge: He seized power in a bloodless coup! All smotherings. <0:02> % Homer: [gently] Just like Jimmy Carter. The truck parks in a field. ! It sounds like "smothering" in syndication, which makes less sense. ~~ Marge: Homer, did you remember to tip Kitenge? Kitenge: No, he did not. % The next day, they drive the truck down a dirt road, from the left % of the screen to the right. Inside: % % Bart: All right, I got another one! % % A safari bingo card is shown. Visible on the card are % % LION RHINO GIRAFFE CHEETAH % HIPPO ZEBU WARTHOG ELEPHANT % HYENA BABOON OSTRICH <0:19> % % Bart crosses off the warthog (the only one visibly crossed off). % % Lisa: Hey! You didn't see a warthog! % Bart: I'm lookin' at one right now! % Lisa: Mom! Bart implied I was a warthog! % Marge: [o.s.] Nobody's a warthog! % Bart: What about him? % % Zoom out to show a warthog sitting next to Lisa, chewing on her hair % and grunting. Lisa pulls away and screams, and Bart does a "Bart % laugh." The truck drives down a curved path and stops at a cliff. ~~ Kitenge: Now we sit quietly and wait for nature to unveil herself. % The Simpsons all look out the left side of the truck. They see an % egg hatching, accompanied by "new life starting" music, but then a % baby rhino pokes its head out of the egg. % % Lisa: Wait; rhinos don't come from eggs! % Homer: What did you _just_ see, Lisa? % Lisa: I know, but-- % Homer: What did you just _see_? <0:24> % % Lisa murmurs, then gasps as a giraffe sticks its head out of a hole % in the ground, makes some noises (which giraffes can't actually do), % looks around, and pops back down into the hole. % % Lisa: Oh, now come on! % % Marge looks through a pair of binoculars. % % Kitenge: Look, mother, by that tree! Cheetah! View through the binoculars, where a cheetah seems to be approaching very slowly. ~~ Kitenge fires at the poachers, and they drive off. <0:01> % The screen is essentially still for a second. Kitenge: They'll be back. They left their cargo pants. ~~~~~ ACT III <0:09> (-0:07) 7:42 / 7:35 Marge: I love what you've done with these poles! Homer: [sniffing sounds] <1.5> % Chimps are seen. Two are grooming, one walks over and sits down, % and another one swings out of a tree and hangs on the branch. Pan from this scene to the Simpsons and Joan watching the chimps. Joan: Every day I get up at 5:30, watch the chimps, eat a quick lunch of roots and water, then more chimp watching. After dark, I come home and think about chimps until it's time for bed. Homer: You must be the most boring woman on earth! Joan: Possibly, but-- Homer: I mean, I knew scientists wasted their _lives_! But jeez! Marge: [elbowing him] Homer! A chimp jumps out of a tree, pointing and shrieking in alarm. Joan: What? <0:01> % What is it, Pointy? Cut to overhead shot, then pan to show a truck rolling up. The truck stops, and a booted foot comes out. Cut to show two men frowning. <2.5> % Pan to the right to show two more men. Shot of the refuge sign. ~~ Men attack the walls of the refuge with swords. % They continue, and <0:02> % the camera pans to the other side of the wall to show Homer and % Bart. Homer inserts a piece of tissue into a coconut to form a bomb, % then tilts it toward Bart. Bart lights a lighter under the bomb. ~~ Marge and Lisa shoot bees at the tires of the truck. They blow out, then the car explodes. <0:01> % Homer picks up a chimp from the ground and % places it on a bent-down tree. Homer: Somebody light this monkey! ~~ Lisa notices Joan's diamond-encrusted pen and notepad. Joan: They were a graduation present! <0:01> % A man stands next to the mine hole, then walks over to it. He clicks on a flashlight and looks down the shaft. Man: Unbelieveable! ! This cut and the last were actually less than a second, but close ! enough to round up. Thanks, syndicators! ~~ * Expansion stops in Joan's hut at the end. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48 ==[ CABF14 ]=========================================== Trilogy of Error === CUTS: 55 seconds GAINED: 71 seconds 21:15 / 22:26 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 % Blackboard: Fire is not the cleanser % Solo: Funk #2 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:05) 6:37 / 6:42 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:05) 7:09 / 7:14 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:05) 6:19 / 6:24 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (0:01) 0:47 / 0:48* ==[ CABF15 ]==================================== I'm Goin' to Praiseland === CUTS: 70 seconds GAINED: 70 seconds 21:16 / 22:26 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 % Blackboard: Genetics is not an excuse % Solo: Funk #2 ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (----) 5:00 / 5:00 ~~~~~ ACT II <0:15> (0:15) 8:20 / 8:35 Ned: If you could do that, I'd make this place a shining beacon for the Lord! % Texan: Oh, you are _so_ full of it! [points angrily at Ned, who % winces] God's grace, that is. [looks upward] [angry again, % with his hands on his hips] It's _really_ sickening! % [gesturing nicely at Ned] ...there aren't more people like % you. Now, _get out!_ [pointing backward with his thumb, then <0:15> % pulling a contract out of his jacket] ...your pen. And we'll % make it official. % % Ned hugs him, and the Texan looks surprised. % % Ned: Oh, bless you, sir! Establishing shot of "Future home of Praiseland" sign. ! Note that you can see the Texan start to get "angry" right before ! the cut. ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (----) 6:45 / 6:45 ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48* ==[ CABF16 ]================================== Children of a Lesser Clod === CUTS: 56 seconds GAINED: 68 seconds 21:18 / 22:26 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 % Blackboard: Today is not Mothra's day % Solo: Three Blasts ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:03) 5:46 / 5:49 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:04) 7:26 / 7:30 ! The animation glitch before the shot of the Simpson house (after ! Milhouse shows off his jacket) seems to be fixed. They either ! removed those two or three frames or replaced them with good shots ! of the house, since there is no discernible change in the timing ! of that section. ~~~~~ ACT III <0:01> (0:06) 6:55 / 7:01 Arnie: ...He's digging a hole like a dog! [Homer groans] Now he's given up on that and he's running back and forth! <0:01> % Arnie is silent for a second. Arnie: He's climbing into the pipe and he seems to be stuck! His legs are dangling in a comic fashion; oh, it's the saddest thing I've ever seen! Kent: Arnie, Arnie, how are the _children_? Arnie: I can't see through metal, Kent! Police cars pull up. Wiggum and Eddie get out of one and draw their guns, joined by Lou. Wiggum: All right, fatty, out of the pipe! Establishing shot of the Simpson house. ! This is a tough cut to explain. Though a second of Arnie's silence ! is cut, the video is not cut until later. As a result, this second ! of video is lost: Lou starts running over to join Wiggum and Eddie, ! (start cut) finishes running, and stands in place. They got away ! with such a silly cut because we don't see Wiggum's mouth move, ! so we can't tell everything is shifted by a second. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (----) 0:48 / 0:48* ! In the original short credits, the following is left out (as marked ! with a +). It is present in syndication. I don't know what satellite ! viewers saw, but in all the original Fox airings once the Gracie ! Films logo changed to the Fox logo, the audio from that took over. ! In syndication, the Fox fanfare is still audible behind it. But ! don't fear, those of you who only have the original airing; it's ! just a (slightly trimmed) line from the episode. Gracie Films logo starts. Cosby: Pokeyman! Pokeyman with the pokey and the man and the thing wh-- <0:00> + ere...the guy goes, um BAH oh, ah ah ah. ==[ CABF17 ]======================================== Simpsons Tall Tales === CUTS: 55 seconds GAINED: 70 seconds 21:16 / 22:26 No blackboard, no solo, original couch ~~~~~ OPENING <0:55> (0:55) 0:23 / 1:18 % Blackboard: I should not be twenty-one by now % Solo: Crazy Be-Bop ~~~~~ ACT I <----> (0:05) 8:29 / 8:34 ~~~~~ ACT II <----> (0:04) 4:57 / 5:01 ~~~~~ ACT III <----> (0:05) 6:40 / 6:45 * Actually, there are two very short cut bits, but I'm including them * as part of the compression timing since they're both about half a * second and nothing is lost. One is a little longer shot of Huck * in pain after he falls off the fence; the other is of Rev. Lovejoy * right after Tom and Huck are seen in the rafters. ~~~~~ ENDING <----> (0:01) 0:47 / 0:48 ! All the original images are there; the music is just sped up a bit. ==[ ------ ]================================================================