Sweets and Sour Marge Written by Carolyn Omine Directed by Mark Kirkland ============================================================================== Production code: DABF03 Original Airdate on FOX: 20-Jan-02 Capsule revision Aa (09-Jan-04) ============================================================================== > "TV Guide" Synopsis ============================================================================== [SNPP.com] When Springfield is named the "World's Fattest Town", thanks to a diabolical scheme by the Motherloving Sugar Corporation, Marge takes it upon herself to rid the entire town of the sweet stuff. Guest stars Ben Stiller as Garth Motherloving. ============================================================================== > Title sequence ============================================================================== Blackboard: none Couch: The family members take their places on the couch, as usual. A giant mechanical claw, like the kind in the machines where players must grab small stuffed animals, reaches down and grabs Homer. As he shouts, "Ow! My brain!" the claw lifts him off the couch and out of frame. ============================================================================== > Did You Notice... ============================================================================== Don Del Grande: ... this episode started two minutes early (at least in the west)? ... someone stuffing billiard balls in his mouth is on a picture on the wall of the book company's office? ... nobody suggested the "world's largest ball of humans" as a possible record? ... Lunch Lady Doris was in the crowd when they announced Springfield was the world's fattest city? ... there was a lawsuit in Springfield and Lionel Hutz was nowhere to be seen? ... the episode was rated PG with no additional letters, despite the phrase "Hershey Highwayman" being used? (The censors must have been taking golden showers during that scene) ... there was no mention of how much money the plaintiffs won in the suit? ... apparently, Apu had sugar in his milk? ... Cletus has a last name? ... the boat was Gone Fission [even though there's a "Gone Fission II"]? ... they got the sugar from San Glucose, which is ironic as Springfield was sans glucose? ... this episode was "dedicated to the memory of Ron Taylor" (with a picture of Bleeding Gums Murphy), although it was rather brief compared to their other dedications? ["Suffered fatal heart attack according to E! television network," says John Green. "He was 49" -- Ed.] Otto Dietrich: ... the only activity that Garth Motherloving had scheduled for that day on his day timer besides "Evil Deeds" [...] was "Racquetball" at 11:00! Alex Foley: ... Maggie holding a book at the library? ... Llewelyn Sinclair (from 8F18) was part of the human pyramid? ... Charles Darden as one of the lawyers swarming Marge's car? ... Gil actually came out on top (by winning the lawsuit) for a change? Joe Green: ... the guy who attached 116 clothespins to his face and neck is named Kevin Thackwell? Chad Lehman: ... the Duff record guy looks like newspaper editor from [AABF21]? ... Marge uses a shopping cart -- at the Kwik-E-Mart? ... the possible cut: After Motherloving says "Get the hell out of my office", Marge says "-- and I want you to stop putting so much SUGAR in everything" as if finishing a previous (cut) sentence?" ... Motherloving forgets Marge's name for one line ("Look, lady ...") but remembers it the next? ("Note to Marge ...") Tom Restivo: ... the Geeky Corporate Lawyer not only lost (for the first time, if ever), but to *Gil* on his first case? Benjamin Robinson: ... Homer seems to have conquered his fear of cobras? ... Bart and Lisa can support Homer's weight? ... as the camera pans past the yard of children coming down from their sugar high, one of the kids falls off the jungle gym? ... the two buttons Homer chooses between at the climax of the episode are visible on the dash as Homer and Bart contemplate escaping? ... how excited Maggie is by a dip in the sugar water? ============================================================================== > Voice Credits ============================================================================== - Starring - Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Brando, Krusty, Moleman, Suicidal Man, Quimby, Gil, Disco Stu, Fudgula [?], Willie, Sideshow Mel) - Julie Kavner (Marge) - Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Kearney, Ralph) - Yeardley Smith (Lisa) - Hank Azaria (Comic Book Guy, Dr. Nick, Cletus, Carl, Moe, Record Man, Chief Wiggum, Bumblebee Man, Apu, "Me so litigious", Frink, Lawyer, Lou, Dealer) - Harry Shearer (Lenny, Principal Skinner, Cap'n McAllister, Judge, Kent, Eddie, Burns) - Special Guest Voice - Ben Stiller (Garth Motherloving) - Also Starring - Pamela Hayden (Jimbo) - Tress MacNeille (Librarian, Record Lady) - Karl Wiedergott (Extra Guy) ============================================================================== > Movie (and other) references ============================================================================== + "I Am [Not] Spock" (books) {jg2} - the first two books in the "Nimoy cycle" are real, but "I am also Scotty" is made up + "Bridget Jones's Diary" (book) {jc} - Cletus complains that the pigs will get "Bridget Jones's diarrhea" + "Guinness Book of World Records" (book) - Duff Book of World Records obviously similar - Lisa's claim that the Duff Book of World Records was created to settle disputes in taverns is the same as the (presumably) true story of how the Guinness Book of World Records came about [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.] {jg2} - there's a photo in the book of a man setting the record for most cigarettes smoked at once; he looks like the guy in the Duff waiting room {bjr} - "Raiders of the Lost Ark" (movie) - Agnes Skinner and Hans Moleman fleeing from the giant ball of people is similar {jg2} - the chocolate statue of Johnny Depp melted like the Nazis in this movie {bh} ~ "Gone With The Wind" (movie) {cl} - the people on the scale groaning similar to the wounded soldiers outside Atlanta scene - ditto the children in the schoolyard at recess + "Mission: Impossible 2" (movie) {mg} - Homer's climb up the human pyramid mimics Ethan Hunt's desert mountain climbing, right down to the famous "facing outward, arms outstretched" pose - the music in the two scenes is similar, too {ri} + "Planet of the Apes" (movie) {cl} - music plays when the human sphere forms + Marlon Brando (actor) {bjr} - famous actor who put on a lot of weight in his later years; it's implied that "the world's fattest man" is him + Pop-Tarts (toaster pastry) {bjr} - "Toaster Pies" a knockoff + Standard Oil (petrochemical monopoly) {cl} - this monopoly that was depicted as an octopus in a famous cartoon ~ US government anti-Communism pamphlet {br} - tentacles-clutching-the-globe image is from an old U.S. propaganda campaign depicting the spread and inner workings of communism + "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" (movie) {jc} - Motherloving apparently has a supply of Oompa-Loompas + "Erin Brockovich" (movie) - numerous puns on the name ("Erin Choco-Snitch," "Blue-hairin Brocko- witch," and "Karen A-lot-ovich") - working-class woman takes on large conglomerate that was poisoning the water supply, like Marge taking on the sugar factory {tpl} - Marge mentions the woman eponymous with the movie {cl} - Marge combs Springfield for depositions, the way Ms. Brockovich did - Ms. Brockovich's crusade leaves her boyfriend feeling neglected (cf. Marge and Homer) {bjr} + "Pretty Woman" (movie) - Bart thinks Erin Brokovich is a prostitute; he was probably thinking of Julia Roberts's role in this movie + "Full Metal Jacket" (movie) - one of the lawyers tries to get Marge to hire him by saying "Me so litigious," like a hooker in the movie saying, "Me so horny" - John Hancock {ah} - Cletus signs it [Marge's petition] the way that John Hancock signed the Declaration of Independence + "The Insider" (movie) {ph} - when Frink is blowing the whistle on the sugar company ("a sugar delivery system"), it's similar to the Russell Crowe's character in this movie (who talks about "a nicotine delivery system") - Russell Crowe gets death threats (cf. Ben Stiller and, "I'll kill you," etc.) + big-tobacco trials {bjr} - tobacco industry accused of deliberately making cigarettes addictive, the way Motherloving sugar does with its product + Count Chocula (cereal mascot) {jc} - Count Fudgula + Marlboro man (advertising icon) {bjr} - actor who portrayed him fell victim to effects of tobacco use, the way "Count Chocula" fell victim to sugar addiction + "Sugar Shack" (song) {ah} - Judge Snyder says, "This is a house of justice, not a sugar shack!" - Moe's "Sugar Shark" scene at the end of the episode + Megan's Law {ddg} - Marge's Law ~ "Austin Powers" (movie) {aw} - Lard Lad entrance seemed to be a reference to the Shoney's big boy from this film + San Lucas (island) {cl} - Island of San Glucose ============================================================================== > Previous episode references ============================================================================== - "The Simpsons are Going To ..." list {sm} - [AABF20] Japan - [BABF19] Delaware - [CABF01] Paris - [CABF09] Blockoland - [CABF13] Africa - [CABF17] Delaware (Really this time) - [7G03] ... while wearing a hardhat {cl} - [7G03], [1F03] Homer uses a megaphone {cl} - [7G06], [2F32] -Bleeding Gums Murphy (Ron Taylor) appears {af} - [7G12] -Public burning (of Krusty stuff in 7G12) {af} - [7F09] ... which backfires when it's successful {bjr} - [7F09], [4F06] Marge goes on a crusade {jc} - [9F07] Depp statue melted like the snowmen {bh} - [1F04] A vampire appears {tpl} - [1F06] "Sugar, Sugar" heard - [1F08], [2F32] People hold lots of billiard balls in their mouth {ah2} - [1F14] Pixy Styx cause an angry reaction {cl} - [1F17] the political power of sugar {jc} - [1F17] Homer engages in slightly shady sugar sales {bjr} - [1F19] Motherlover wanting to kill the jury (cf. Freddie Quimby wanting to do the same) {sx} - [2F09] Emergency telephone number [911/"912"] given to someone on a card {cl} - [2F31] Springfield the worlds worst in science and the arts {sx} - [3F04], [5F15] The Lard Lad statue appears {tpl} - [3F05] Ah, Fudge! seen on the Kwik-E-Mart shelves {bjr} - [4F15] A product is banned: Homer helps illegally supply it to the town {tpl} - [4F20] "I Want Candy" song and "Miami Vice" theme {sx} - [5F12] Someone throws chocolate ice cream, using a scoop (Texas snowball fight) {cl} - [AABF01] Motherloving Sugar Co.'s logo reminiscent of Maggie in THOH IX's "Starship Poopers" segment, when she held toys in each of several tentacles {ts} - [AABF08] Homer lets out his gut {cl} - [AABF09] Homer's funny pennants [This appears to be a new running gag, like "D'oh!" or his reading glasses, so this is the last time I'll mention it as a Previous Episode Reference -- Ed.] {bjr} - [AABF18] Diabetes mentioned as a consequence of sugar consumption {cl} - [AABF20] "Axel F" theme plays when Homer sneaks into Flanders's house to steal valuables {ms} - [BABF03] Disco Stu tries to pick up Marge {ts} - [BABF05] Guinness Book of World Records mentioned {bjr} - [BABF16] Feverish person worries about a plastic/non-existent baby [Homer/Ralph] {cl} - [BABF22] In the library, Cletus makes an author reference {cl} ============================================================================== > Freeze frame fun ============================================================================== - Banner at library {bjr} LIBRARY BOOK SALE YES, WE HAVE PORNOGRAPHY! - Record holder for most clothespins on a face {bjr} KEVIN THACKWELL - Duff sign {bjr} [Duff logo] INDUSTRIES WORLD RECORD DIVISION - Springfield billboard {bjr} S P R I N G F I E L D BIRTHPLACE [picture] OF [ of ] THE BEATLES [Beatles] - Springfield's weight (but not fortune) {bjr} 64,152 lbs - Homer's pennant and T-shirt {bjr} GIRTH <- pennant T-shirt-> FAT PRIDE - Bart's cereal {bjr} FROSTING GOBS - Donut box {bjr} SUGAR, FREE DONUTS - Sugar factory logo {bjr} MOTHERLOVING [The logo is an octopus with a sinister] SUGAR CORP. [smile, grabbing the Earth and some ] [candy with its tentacles ] [logo] - Motherloving's DayRunner {bjr} MONDAY 9:00 EVIL DEEDS 10:00 EVIL DEEDS 11:00 RACQUETBALL 12:00 EVIL DEEDS - Cletus's signature {bjr} Cletus Spuckler [in elegant calligraphy] - Lard Lad shop {bjr} LARD LAD DONUTS CLOSED BY MARGE'S LAW - Homer's choice {bjr} DUMP CARGO OBEY BAD GUY ============================================================================== > Animation, continuity, and other goofs ============================================================================== = When Homer fell from the pyramid, there was quite a bit of space surrounding him; he shouldn't have been able to grab somebody. {ddg} * Technically, it wasn't a pyramid any more if Maggie was on top of just Homer. (They should have put Marge with her hairdo on the top.) {ddg} = When the people-ball is rolling toward Hans Moleman and Agnes Skinner, you can see another Moleman in the ball if you watch in slo-mo (upper left corner of the screen, I believe). That's how he keeps dying and coming back! There are multiple Molemen! {jg3} * As of this writing and the episode's first airing, the fattest city in the US was Chicago, not Milwaukee. {jc} = In the wide shot where Lou throws the promotional Johnny Depp from the movie Chocolat on the fire, he's white. {ob} + Some of the merchandise associated with the show lists Cletus's last name as "Delroy." [While confusing, this isn't a true goof. When the show and its merchandise are in conflict, the show wins. See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.] c As Homer enters the Lard Lad boy, he says, "Wow." The closed captioning reads, "Wow. Should I take off my shoes?" {tpl} = The hand pushing the "Dump Cargo" button appeared to have a yellow shirt cuff, but Homer was wearing a white short-sleeved shirt. {bjr} = When Lisa and Bart jump into the sugar water, in the next scene they're splashing each other - but Lisa was holding Maggie when she jumped in. [Tony Hill answers, "Maggie can swim. What, you've forgotten the time Maggie saved Homer from drowning?" -- Ed.] {ddg} ============================================================================== > Reviews ============================================================================== Bob Clark: This was a great episode. Loved Maggie wiping vegemite [toaster pie stuffing, actually -- Ed.] off her face, [it was] reminiscent of the Lisa Dodgeball scene from season one. The only things I didn't like about this episode were some of the fat jokes, namely the Cletus scene. But I loved Dr. Hibbert losing his temper, Ralph Wiggum (as always),the "Bad Guy" button on the boat, but my favourite was the huge pyramid and the Mississippis! At first I was cringing with the "Marge is on a mission" storyline which I didn't like very much the first time around, but this episode for me is A- material. (A-) Alex Foley: Again we have 3 different plots for the 3 acts, which were, overall, rather weak. However, unlike the last two episodes. it made me laugh, which is the most I can hope for in any OFF episode, esp. a Marge episode. The jokes supported the weak plot, which makes this the best of the Al Jean era so far. (B) Joe Green: This show started out with a strong first act, and after that a typically silly and farfetched plot was redeemed by some better than average gags (like Disco Stu snorting sugar and the unemployed lawyers). Not exactly one of the all-time greats, but it kept me amused for a solid half-hour. (C+) Tony Hill: There were a lot of laughs in this episode, but they're really scraping the bottom of the barrel plot-wise. Homer's quips were often too sophisticated for him. Blue hair 'n' brocco'-witch? Too many elements were recycled from earlier episodes for this to get better than a (D+) Steve X: Well, it was only three or so seasons, but they finally got back on track. An episode that had good timing and jokes that made me laugh is something that is always good. My only semi-complaint is that Homer cannot go an entire episode without going into a screaming rant. As good as it is going to get. (A-) Yours Truly: "Sweets and Sour Marge" gets a lot of the "serious" things right: characterization and pacing among them, but falls down on the comedy. A lot of the jokes are too thin to cover the unlikely plot, there's no compelling bad guy, and some of the supporting cast is wasted. There are some good moments, but not enough to save what's ultimately a mediocre episode. (C) AVERAGE GRADE: B- (2.67) Std Dev.: 0.8844 (6 reviews computed) ============================================================================== > Comments and other observations ============================================================================== >> Meta-reference corner Joe Green: I though this episode had two good "meta-references": Marge pointing out that Homer waits until he actually gets to an event to say he doesn't like the idea of it, and Homer's cliched "The Simpsons are going to Mars!" line. Also, the joke about how Butterfingers are so bad even the fire doesn't want them is ironic, considering not only that "Simpsons" characters have repeatedly been used to advertise Butterfinger, but that the candy bar is said to be a personal favorite of Matt Groening. >> Musical References Joe Green: "Miami Vice Theme" by Ján Hammer. "I Want Candy" by the Strangeloves played when the Springfield police burn candy. "Sugar Sugar" by the Archies. Ted Schuerzinger: "More, More, More (Part 1)" by the Andrea True Connection. Dan Dreibelbis: You young whippersnappers :) who weren't around when "More More More" was a hit may have already heard a part of this song in the last few years: the short bridge part was sampled and used as the main riff in "Steal My Sunshine" by Len. >> Those Never-Ending Threads - Where is Springfield Ted Schuerzinger: In "Behind the Laughter", the "real" Simpsons were supposedly from northern Kentucky. Homer refers to Tennessee as "south of the border", which is the state immediately south of Kentucky. Joe Green adds: ... or possibly the far southwestern corner of Virginia. Dan S: Yeah ... but Homer thinks, "Canada's all tucked away down there." >> Alec Guinness fans, read and weep Steven Miles: According to the 2001 edition of Guinness World Records, one day in 1951, Sir Arthur Beaver, owner of Guinness (the Irish beer company) was at a pub. He "was involved in a dispute as to whether the golden plover was Europe's fastest game bird." A few years later, another argument came up involving the grouse. Then, Guinness realized that arguments about such topics came up in pubs all the time (i. e. Lenny and Carl). We like to call this kind of thing "bar trivia." Sir Arthur wanted to create a book that could aid in such disputes at pubs. With help, he did that, and it was a hit. Today, Guinness World Records is seen all over the world, and it's a popular reference. Speaking of world records, Chris Read writes: When Homer looked up the most clothespins stuck to one's face and neck in the Duff Book of World Records, it seems like they got the information from Guinness. In the Duff book, the caption on the guy was Kevin Thackwell. In the Guinness World Records 2001, Kevin Thackwell is the guy who has the record in real life, too. Homer even got the number right: 116. (it's on page 18 of the hard-bound edition.) >> A Chilling Look At What Makes Our Government Tick ... And Explode About Moe's favorite book, Jeff Cross writes: "Op-Center" is one of the three novel series that Tom Clancy created but didn't actually write himself; this one, co-created with fellow political thriller author Steve Pieczenik and written by Jeff Rovin, follows the workings of the National Crisis Management Center and its handling of national intelligence-gathering and military assets to shut down major international incidents before they can get lethal. As of this writings, it is eight novels long and even has a prequel miniseries starring Harry Hamlin as NCMC director Paul Hood. >> Sizing things up Chuck Knudsen: The scale reads 64,152 pounds. The only whole numbers that make sense for this are 297 and 216. (216 * 297 = 64152) So there are either 216 residents in Springfield weighing an average of 297 pounds, or 297 residents in Springfield weighing an average of 216 pounds. >> First You Get The Sugar, Then You Get The Power Jeff Cross: In the 1700s the sugar industry actually had major political power in England due to its enormous profit margins. [It's still a major lobbying force in Florida -- Ed.] There were even instances when representatives of the sugar plantation owners would run for seats in the House of Commons from unimportant outlying districts to be able to push their agenda. >> Cletus who? "Vandergr" notes: According to the Simpsons Trivial Box Calendar, Cletus's last name is Delroy (January 2nd). Adam Toner adds: http://www.snpp.com/guides/whoiswho.html has him as Cletus Delroy, though it doesn't say which episode they got "Delroy" from. Theodore Paulakis: "The Simpsons Guide to Springfield" also has it as Cletus Delroy. Dr. Music rebuts: Okay, I'll put it more bluntly. Who are you going to believe, THE SHOW, or some stupid calendar? Ian Boothby: He wasn't sure he remembered how to write it correctly, so maybe it's just a bad spelling of Delroy. Keith Gename speculates: Maybe "Spuckler" will turn up to be his *middle* name in a future episode. "Cletus Spuckler Delroy". Sounds likes he could be a senator from Alabama. Or maybe even a televangelist. Russell Flowers: It's spelled Spuckler, but pronounced, "Del - Roy." It's a regional dialect. >> Explanation is forthcoming Chad Lehman: On ATS, the question was asked: Why was Burns involved? This was used as an argument against the episode. The answer seems obvious. "Motherloving" understood Burns' power, and he also needed a boat for the job. Mr. Burns has much power, and also a boat. Thus, he was recruited by Motherloving, just as Apu and Homer apparently were. >> "If only the sugar was as sweet as you" Chad Lehman writes: The ep seems to be a rip on the sugar industry; but is it a satire of satire itself? They compare the sugar industry to the narcotics industry, as well as evil corporate interests that endanger human health á là Erin Brockovich. Silly; it seems to be more making fun of the currently popular "Sugar Busters" and "Atkins" diets, which proclaim sugar as the principal cause of obesity, hypertension, and other health problems. It seems the writers' opinion on the subject is that blaming sugar for America's health problems is silly. >> Miscellaneous, Etc. The Joe Green alterna-title for this episode is: [DABF03] Citizen Sugarcane Don Del Grande: there's at least one actual record that has a "Mississippi" rule, sort of; when making a "champagne fountain" (a tower of champagne glasses with champagne poured from the top), it has to stay upright for six seconds after the champagne fills the glasses? Russell Flowers: I was going to ask how Burns knows so many vampires, but I realized it was a stupid question. ============================================================================== > Quotes and Scene Summary {bjr} ============================================================================== % The Springfield Library is selling off books it no longer needs. % Even though this includes its pornography collection, Homer is % unimpressed. Homer: A library selling books? If I don't want 'em for free, why would I want to pay for 'em? Marge: Why do you always wait until we arrive to complain? Homer: [pause] I don't know. -- "Sweets and Sour Marge" % Other library patrons have better look finding books they're % interested in. Ah, the full Leonard Nimoy cycle: "I Am Not Spock," then "I Am Spock," and finally, "I Am Also Scotty." -- Comic Book Guy, "Sweets and Sour Marge" % Lisa takes a cart overflowing with books to the checkout register. % She's trying to save as many as possible, since the books nobody % buys are used as feed for pigs. Indeed, Cletus stands nearby, % complaining that Helen Fieldings's novel gives his pigs "Bridget % Jones's diarrhea." % % Marge finds a book even Homer might like -- the Duff Book of World % Records. Her instincts are right on; Homer thumbs through and % giggles at the pictures of record-breaking deformities. Bart: Why would Duff Beer put out a book? Lisa: It was originally published to settle arguments in taverns. Homer: She said, "tavern!" I'm going to Moe's. [runs out] Marge: [calls after him] I never agreed to that rule! [we hear tires screeching as a car leaves the parking lot] -- Too late for take-backs, now, "Sweets and Sour Marge" % Meanwhile at Moe's, Lenny and Carl are engaged in one of those % arguments you only hear in a tavern (or maybe a college dormitory). Lenny: Well, I say the most clothespins a man could attach to his face is 87. Carl: You counting the neck? Lenny: You know I am. Carl: All right -- outside. [suddenly, Homer appears at the door, bathed in golden light. He holds the Duff record book triumphantly over his head] Homer: Peace, my brothers. All shall be looked up. [leafs through the books] Let's see ... most clothespins swallowed, inserted, here we go -- clipped to face and neck: 116. [shows a picture of a man with the pins on his head. He looks like a pin porcupine] Lenny: Oh. Geez, I was wrong. But I ain't angry. Carl: And I'm magnanimous in victory. -- Duff Book of World Records saves the day! "Sweets and Sour Marge" % Moe says that book is the best he's ever seen, but actually, % according to the Duff people, the best book Moe's seen is Tom % Clancy's "Op Center." % % Some time later, Homer's still enthralled by the book, but the % novelty is wearing thin for the rest of his family. Bart suggests % that Homer try to set a new record of his own. Homer first % considers breaking the record for running the fastest mile, % something Lisa thinks might be possible -- on Mars. % % Homer figures out a Plan B and shows up one day at the offices of % Duff's World Record Division. Some other record hopefuls -- a guy % with extra-long fingernails and a man smoking dozens of cigarettes % at once among them -- sit in the waiting room. Homer: [to a portly man who resembles Marlon Brando] You're a cinch to be the world's fattest man. Brando: No, I'm here for the greatest living actor. -- Awarded posthumously, "Sweets and Sour Marge" % Homer meets the people who certify new records. Homer: I'm here to break a world's record. What's the longest anyone's ever done this? [jumps around, making goofy faces and noises] Record Lady: Three years. Homer: Fine. I'll just play the banjo with this cobra. [begins doing so, then hits a wrong note] Wait, wait, wait! Record Man: [interrupting] Uh, technically the cobra would get the record. He's the one playing. Homer: But it's my banjo! Record Lady: Mr. Simpson, there are thousands of people like you with no discernable talent. Homer: Yeah, they're called Congress. [laughs] Record Lady: Shut up. Homer: Okay. Record Man: All the original records were set by crackpots who half-killed themselves. The only way someone new can get in the book is with some kind of group stunt. Homer: Group stunt? Record Lady: Like the town that made the world's largest omelet. Homer: Denver? Record Lady: No, Spanish. [ba-dum-bum! Homer plays a banjo flourish] -- "Sweets and Sour Marge" % If it's a group stunt that the Duff Record people want, it's a group % stunt they'll get. Homer gathers together as many townsfolk as he % can, and announces his goal: To set the record for world's tallest % human pyramid. The people are enthusiastic about the chance to give % Springfield a *real* claim to fame, as opposed to their old claim % about being the birthplace of the Beatles. % % Later, a huge pyramid of people rises on a vacant lot inside town. % Homer pauses briefly to make sure everything's going to plan. (It's % a pretty simple plan -- just a big triangle.) Interestingly, % Homer's knowledge of civil engineering and physics lead him to % believe that the best place for a man of his physique is at the very % top of the pyramid. He starts to climb up, but gets exhausted % halfway to the top. At first, he proposes making a base camp there, % and going for the top tomorrow, but the others in the pyramid will % have none of that. Bart yells that Homer can go for the title of % World's Laziest Stunt Organizer. % % The taunt motivates Homer to climb the rest of the way. It isn't an % easy task. Near the top, Homer tries to get a grip on Bumblebee % Man's "stinger," but it breaks off, and Homer falls. He breaks his % fall halfway down by grabbing onto some fellow's foot, and then % successfully climbs back to the top. % % The Duff Record Lady measures the pyramid from a cherry picker's % basket. The townspeople are a foot shy of the record. Homer % snatches victory from defeat by putting Maggie on top of his head. % Now all the people have to do is hold the pyramid pose for "three % Mississippis," and the record will be theirs! % % Unfortunately, two seconds later, Jimbo and Kearney realize their % hands are touching. Ew! They recoil, and the sudden removal of % support causes a chain reaction that collapses the whole pyramid and % forms a giant ball of people. The people-ball rolls down the hill, % and nothing in its path can stop it. % % Meanwhile, a man in town prepares to jump off a ledge. Man: Goodbye, cruel world. [he jumps, and lands on the people-ball just as it passes by] Hello, ironic twist! -- The world's most ironic twist, "Sweets and Sour Marge" % The townspeople land in a heap near a truck weighing station. As % they try to recover from their trip, the Record Man notices % something interesting. The total weight of the people is 64,152 % pounds (29098.858 kilograms). Record Man: Wait a minute -- look at the scale. Record Lady: [enters numbers into a calculator] Divide by the number of people, subtract belts and shoes ... Record Man: [sees the answer] Oh! [to the people] Everyone, welcome to the Duff Book of World Records. Springfield is the world's fattest town. [everyone cheers] Homer: Woo-hoo! In your face, Milwaukee! -- "Sweets and Sour Marge" % [End of Act One. Time: 6:19] % % In light of their achievement, Mayor Quimby proclaims Springfield to % be "Fat City, USA." Most of the town is ecstatic, including Homer. Now that everyone's so open about being fat, I can finally stop sucking in my gut. -- Homer Simpson, "Sweets and Sour Marge" % Marge isn't joining the celebration, though. She wonders why the % town is so obese. Watching Homer and the kids at breakfast time, it % dawns on her that they eat an awful lot of sugar. Even when Homer % eats a grapefruit, he dips it in a bag of sugar, and then licks it % off before throwing the rest away. % % At the Kwik-E-Mart, Marge has little luck in finding healthier food % for her family. Marge: [picking up a box of cereal] Look at all these empty calories. [sees a donut box] Ooh, sugar-free donuts. Apu: No, that is sugar *with* free donuts. [cut to close-up of box so the audience can see that it reads, "Sugar, Free Donuts"] Marge: Oh. Apu, everything in this store is overloaded with sugar. Hibbert: Marge has a point. Sugar is not only fattening it's also terribly, terribly addictive. Uh, is my carton of Pixy Stix in? Apu: No, it hasn't come in yet. Hibbert: [slams his fist on the counter] Dammit! When they come in, you call me at this number. [hands Apu a slip of paper and leaves] Apu: [reading] 9-1-1. [to Marge] I am sorry, but everything in this store from the Honey-Glazed Cauliflower to the Choco- Blasted Baby Aspirin comes from the Motherloving Sugar Corporation. Marge: Well, I'm going to have a talk with them. Where are their worldwide headquarters located? Apu: Why, right down the street. Marge: That's lucky. -- "Sweets and Sour Marge" % The President of Motherloving Sugar, Garth Motherloving, goes over % his schedule for the day (evil deeds and racquetball, mainly). His % plans are disrupted when Marge walks into his office. Marge: Excuse me, I'm looking for the head of Motherloving Sugar. Garth: Yes, I'm Garth Motherloving. Marge: I'm Marge Simpson, long-time customer, first-time complainer. Garth: Hey, Marge, I'm not up on my slang, but do kids still say, "Get the hell out of my office?" Marge: I want you to stop putting so much sugar into everything. Or at least warn people that it's so unhealthy. Garth: Hmm, that'll boost sales! While we're at it, why don't I just change my name back to Hitler? Marge: Don't you have any sense of corporate responsibility? Garth: [confused puppy-dog whimpers] Marge: Hey! [claps twice, and Garth snaps back to attention] Garth: Look, lady, take it up with your sewing circle, okay? Marge: But we're on hiatus, everyone's everywhere. Garth: [speaking into a hand-held tape recorder] Note to Marge: Get out. [takes the tape out and tosses it to Marge] Marge: [catches tape] I'll play it later. [leaves] -- Marge's corporate crusade begins, "Sweets and Sour Marge" % Marge talks to her family about her visit to Motherloving Sugar. Marge: If you looked up "meany-beany-fo-feenie" in the dictionary, you'd see his picture. Homer: Wait -- you went to a sugar factory? Were there Oompa- Loompas? Marge: There was one in a cage, but he wasn't moving. Homer: [disappointed] Aw. -- "Sweets and Sour Marge" % Marge continues. Marge: That company's ruining the whole town's health, and I don't know how to stop them. Lisa: Why don't you file a class-action suit? Marge: Oh, yeah, like Erin Brockovich. Bart: The prostitute with a heart of gold. -- Careful, or she might file a defamation suit, "Sweets and Sour Marge" % A lawsuit requires a lawyer. As she and Lisa ride in the family % station wagon, Marge says doesn't think she can afford a lawyer. % Lisa says that's no problem. Thanks the prodigious rate at which % law schools graduate new attorneys, legal representation is cheaper % than ever before. As she says this, wanna-be lawyers swarm all over % the car, begging to take Marge's case. Marge quickly chooses Gil, % whose new law degree allows him to both try cases and wipe Marge's % windshield. % % Marge, Lisa, and Gil meet to discuss their legal strategy. To % launch a class-action suit against the sugar industry, they'll have % to take depositions door-to-door. Gil recuses himself from that % job; he made too many enemies in his days as a door-to-door % salesman. The task falls to Marge. First, she visits Chief Wiggum, % who signs because he think sugar has made his son Ralph hyperactive. % "I'm happy and angry," the boy says. % % Next stop, Cletus's shack. Cletus: Oh, shoot, I'll sign. Figure those sugar folks owe me for what they done to my cousin, [opens a door to reveal a fat woman on the floor] Diabetty. Diabetty: I'm trying to slim down so I can fit into Momma's coffin. [does a stretching exercise, and takes a big bite of cake] That's my re-ward! Marge: [looks vaguely disgusted] Ohhh. -- Ms. Brockovich didn't have it this tough, "Sweets and Sour Marge" % Cletus signs his name to the petition in beautiful calligraphic % script. % % Finally, Marge visits Disco Stu who signs because he got "hooked on % the White Stuff" in the 70s. He slurps a line of sugar off the % coffee table, as if it were cocaine, and puts on a disco record. % Marge apprehensively backs out the door. % % Marge comes home to find Homer sitting at the dining room table. % He's wearing a nice suit, but looks angry. Marge: Oh. Hi, Homer. Homer: Well, well, if it isn't the woman who's too busy saving the world to save her own marriage. Marge: What are you talking about? [indicates a tureen] Is that dinner? Homer: [lifts the lid, revealing a meatloaf that's burned to a crisp] It was dinner. Marge: Why didn't you just turn off the oven? Homer: I was hoping we could do that together. [runs out, crying. Then he runs back, grabs the meatloaf, and runs out again] -- "Sweets and Sour Marge" % Later, the phone rings. Marge: [answering the phone] Hello? Frink: Marge Simpson? Marge: Who is this? [cut to the other end of the line, where a man speaks into a device to disguise his voice] Frink: I'm an anonymous whistle-blower. I worked on a top-secret project called Operation Hoyven-Mayven. Marge: Professor Frink? Frink: Oh, what gave it away, out of curiosity? Was it the "hoyven" or the "mayven" or the whole "g'hoy-veen" thing that I do? -- You had me at "hoyven," "Sweets and Sour Marge" % The trial begins. Prof. Frink gives his testimony. Gil: So, Professor, tell us about Operation Hoyven-Mayven. Frink: Well, we knew perfectly well it was addictive. Candy was just a sugar delivery system. We thought we were God, hoyven-mayven. Garth: Frink, you little weasel. I'll kill you! Lawyer: May I remind you we're in open court? Garth: I'll kill you, too! I'll kill you all! Judge: Mr. Motherloving, that could be interpreted as a threat. Garth: I'll kill you while you sleep. Lawyer: Objection! Judge: I'll allow it. -- A star witness -- for the prosecution, "Sweets and Sour Marge" % A cartoon-y looking vampire is the next man to testify. Gil: Now, Count Fudgula, how long were you spokes-vampire for Motherloving Breakfast Cereal? Count: Twenty of your mortal years. But I had to quit when my fangs succumbed to gingivitis. [takes out a set of fang dentures] Now, all my victims have to be mashed up. [the people in the courtroom make a sympathetic noise] -- "Sweets and Sour Marge" % Garth Motherloving approaches the bench. Garth: Your honor, I admit it looks bad for me, but I think you might be turned around by some surprising taste-imony. [he pushes an attaché case toward Judge Snyder, and opens it. Inside is a tempting array of candy] Judge: [closes the case] Sir, this is a house of justice, not a sugar shack. It's Hershey highwaymen like you who made me fat. Lawyer: Well, your honor, the court carries it well. Judge: Silence! I rule in favor of Marge Simpson. [the courtroom crowd cheers] Homer: [to Marge] I am so proud of you. Judge: And thanks to Marge Simpson's damning evidence, I hereby ban all sugar products from Springfield, forever. [bangs gavel] Homer: [to Marge, angrily] Get in the car. -- Be careful what you sue for, "Sweets and Sour Marge" % [End of Act Two. Time: 13:57] % % Kent Brockman reads the evening news. Kent: Tonight's top story, Springfield's cake-hole has been shut forever. In what has been dubbed, Marge's Law, all forms of sugar are now illegal. Homer: [to Marge] Thank you, Erin Choco-snitch. That was a group effort. Marge: I'm just trying to make this a healthier place to live. Homer: Well, good work Blue Hair and Brocko-witch. [everyone stares at Homer] Okay, that was mine. -- "Sweets and Sour Marge" % Kent goes on to list all the sugary snacks that are now verboten in % Springfield. Even medical sugar pills must go, to be replaced with % highly concentrated opium. % % To comply with the new law, the police burn all the sugar snacks in % a huge bonfire. Well, everything except Butterfinger candy bars, % which the fire "spits" back out. % % Some people find it harder than others to obey the new law. The % lawn at Springfield Elementary is covered with children suffering % from wicked sugar withdrawal. Principal Skinner and Groundskeeper % Willie walk among the kids. Jimbo: Sugar ... need sugar ... Willie: [to Skinner] Aye, they're not riding the white horse anymore. Ralph: My baby ... where's my baby? -- "Sweets and Sour Marge" % The shelves at the Kwik-E-Mart have been stripped almost bare. % Homer frantically searches for his sugar fix. Homer: [searches the shelves] Nothing left ... nothing left. [notices a dark stain on the floor] A sticky spot! [bends down and starts licking it] Apu: Mr. Simpson, you're licking blood and Vapo-Rub. Homer: [stands up] Part of me knew that. -- "Sweets and Sour Marge" % Apu thinks Homer might be the right man to join a group dedicated to % bringing sugar back to Springfield by any means necessary. The two % head out to the Lard Lad donut hut. The Lard Lad statue has a % secret entrance to an underground lair. Homer and Apu arrive to % find Motherloving, Mr. Burns, and Count Fudgula sitting at a % conference table. Apu: Gentlemen, I have found the final member of our cabal. Homer: Count Fudgula? I thought you wanted to get off the stuff. Count: I'm a monster; don't look at me! [shields himself with his cape and hisses] -- "Sweets and Sour Marge" % The group enlists Homer's help in smuggling sugar from "south of the % border." Not Tennessee, as Homer guesses, but the island of San % Glucose. % % The next day, Homer and Bart dress in dark clothing and head out for % the mission. Lisa meets them at the door before they leave. Lisa: Is it really worth risking your lives just for some sugar? Marge: [off-screen] Dessert's on! I steamed some limes! Lisa: [to Homer] Godspeed. -- Not as appetizing as steamed hams, "Sweets and Sour Marge" % The sugar cabal's ship reaches San Glucose. Homer, dressed in scuba % gear, dives over the rail only land on one of the lower decks. He % tries again, and this time lands on a whale. The third time's the % charm. He hits the water and swims over to the beach. Count: How's he doing? Bart: [looking through binoculars] I think he's grossed out by some seaweed. Homer: [over the walkie-talkie] Ew, I touched it. Over. Burns: Get a grip, Simpson. You're doing fine. Now, do you have your map? [cut to the island. Homer and a toucan play tug-of-war over the map] Homer: Kinda. [to the bird] C'mon, give it! [aside] I know, I'll try reverse psychology. [lets go] [to the bird] I don't want that stupid map! [the bird flies away with the map, and Homer gasps] D'oh! -- "Sweets and Sour Marge" % Despite not having a map, Homer meets up with the sugar dealers. % They load up a rubber raft with sacks of sugar. Dealer: Okay, man, here's the sugar. Now you give us the money. Homer: [pushes off in the raft] That wasn't part of the deal. [laughs] Dealer: [consults the contract] He's right. [to his henchmen] Who wrote this thing!? -- Always read the fine print, "Sweets and Sour Marge" % The cabal return to Springfield's port. Homer asks everyone if they % "keistered" their personal supply, but is answered only with strange % looks. % % Suddenly, the police intercept the cabal boat and give them an % ultimatum: Surrender or be sunk. Homer is defiant, but everyone % else (except Bart) rows away in a dinghy. Homer: Remember what I told you about running away from your troubles? Bart: Yeah. Homer: Let's do it. -- Homer puts fatherly advice into practice, "Sweets and Sour Marge" % Homer speeds off and the police give chase. Up ahead, two men, each % in a boat, ferry a large sheet of glass; each man grips one side. % Homer's boat is small enough to duck under the glass. The police % have to break off the chase and veer to the left. Now, they're % bearing down on a woman and her baby riding a personal watercraft. % Wiggum makes another sharp turn and beaches the boat. Satisfied % with the outcome of the chase, he says he likes to think he's made a % difference for the day. % % Having eluded the long arm of the law, Homer arrives at the dock. % Garth Motherloving is waiting for him there, with a forklift. Garth: Good work, Simpson. Homer: Before I bring the sugar in, I want to see the Oompa- Loompa. Garth: He's right over there. [points to an Oompa-Loompa, who's sitting quietly and smoking a cigarette] Homer: [aside to Bart] That guy is freaky. [to Garth] Well, here's your sugar. Marge: [standing on another pier] No, Homer! You'll be condemning this town to a life of obesity and diabetes. Garth: Don't listen to her, Homer! Homer: Ooh, they both make good arguments. -- "Sweets and Sour Marge" % Marge makes one last desperate plea for Homer to dump the sugar. % Homer's hand hovers between two buttons, one to dump the sugar and % the other labeled, "Obey Bad Guy." After a moment's consideration, % Homer does the right thing and dumps his cargo into the bay. % Defeated, Motherloving backs away in his forklift. % % Some townspeople milling around by the dock can't help but notice % that the water is now full of sugar. A crowd immediately jumps in % for a dip and a snack. Cap'n: Aye, 'tis a sugary brine. Moe: [takes a bite out of a small shark] This sugar shark is delicious. [the shark bites Moe] Ow, hey! He bit me back! [grabs the shark out of the water and stares it down] So that's how it's going to be, eh? -- "Sweets and Sour Marge" % Marge is dismayed by what she sees. Judge Snyder comes by with an % inner tube. Marge: Everybody looks so happy. Judge: Indeed, Marge. And, uh, now that I think of it, I wildly exceeded my authority, and I declare the sugar ban over. [jumps in the water] Bart + Lisa: Can we, Mom, can we? Please, please, please? Marge: Oh, all right. But take Maggie with you. [hands Maggie to Lisa] [the kids jump in the water] I guess you just can't use the law to nag. Maybe I should just stop trying to change the world. Homer: No, Marge, I love when you do that. You're a regular Karen A-Lot-Ovich. Marge: Oh, that's the best one. Homer: That's what I told Lisa! -- "Sweets and Sour Marge" % The camera pans down to the water. Lenny comes to the surface, % holding some small white objects. Lenny: Hey, I found some pearls! [looks closer] No, wait, they're just my teeth. Well, I can still make a necklace out of 'em. [smiles, revealing a lot of gaps in his teeth] -- "Sweets and Sour Marge" % [End of Act Three. Time: 20:57] % % A still shot of Bleeding Gums Murphy (from "Moaning Lisa (7G06)") % appears, along with the words, "Dedicated to the memory of RON % TAYLOR." The song "Sugar, Sugar," by the Archies, plays over the % closing credits until it's time for the credit squeeze. The Gracie % Sound is the usual, "Shhh!" ============================================================================== > Contributors ============================================================================== {af} Alex Foley {ah} Aaron Hirshberg {ah2} Alan Hamilton {aw} A White {bh} Bjarki Hilmarsson {bjr} Benjamin Robinson {br} Blake Ross {cl} Chad Lehman {ddg} Don Del Grande {jc} Jeff Cross {jg2} Joe Green {jg3} Josh G {mg} Matt Gasaway {ms} M Santiano {ob} Oingo Boingo {ph} P Hogswine {ri} Ryan Irvine {sm} Steven Miles {sx} Stephen X {tpl} T P. Laing {ts} Ted Schuerzinger ============================================================================== > Legal Mumbo Jumbo ============================================================================== This episode capsule is Copyright 2004 Benjamin Robinson. It is not to be redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current maintainer (capsules@snpp.com). All quoted material and episode summaries remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. All other contributions remain the properties of their respective authors. The Quote and Scene Summary itself is Copyright 2004 Benjamin Robinson. This capsule has been brought to you by Motherloving Sugar Corp. This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie, Frederic Briere, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are today.