All Singing, All Dancing Written by Steve O'Donnell Directed by Mark Ervin ============================================================================== Production code: 5F24 Original airdate on FOX: 04-Jan-1998 Capsule revision Aa ============================================================================== > "TV Guide" Synopsis ============================================================================== None submitted. [The following is a TV Guide-style synopsis: Disappointed with a musical western from the video rental store, Marge and Lisa remind Homer and Bart of the many times they have enjoyed singing and dancing.] ============================================================================== > Title sequence ============================================================================== Blackboard: None. Couch gag: The floor is a treadmill; Homer falls and says "Marge, stop this crazy thing!" George Jetson-style. ============================================================================== > Didja notice... ============================================================================== Anthony Dean: ... except for "We Put the Spring In Springfield," all the songs featured are available on the CD "Songs In the Key of Springfield"? ... Maggie isn't afraid of Snake's gun being fired off? (and she doesn't fall for yet another episode?) ... the banner that drops down towards the end of the episode reads: "The Simpsons Clip Show #4", with 5F24 beneath it? Daniel L. Dreibelbis: ... Troy McClure was one of the actors in the opening song in "Paint Your Wagon?" (which ironically fits his style of acting, see comments and other observations) Joe Klemm: ... this is the second episode to be rated TV-G? ... most of the original dialect is sung? ... Homer knocking the TV off the scene in the couch gag? ... how uneven Lee Marvin's paint job was for just one spot? Mike Smith: ... it's the first time since its oringial airing that FOX aired any or all of "Homer & Apu" (the episode was never repeated on FOX)? ============================================================================== > Voice credits ============================================================================== - Starring - Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Barney, Mayor Quimby) - Julie Kavner (Marge) - Nancy Cartwright (Bart) - Yeardley Smith (Lisa) - Hank Azaria (Lee Marvin, Clint Eastwood, sailer, Apu, Snake) - Harry Shearer (Skinner, Mr. Burns, Smithers) - Also starring - Tress MacNeille (Belle) - Pamela Hayden (Milhouse) - Special guest stars - George Harrison (himself) - Patrick Stewart (Stonecutter Number One) - Phil Hartman (Lyle Lanley) ============================================================================== > Movie (and other) references ============================================================================== + "The Jetsons" (old cartoon series) {bjr} - treadmill floor of couch gag similar to treadmill in the opening credits of this show - Homer slips up and yells, "Marge, stop this crazy thing!" (compare George Jetson and "Jane, stop this crazy thing!") - sound effect of treadmill similar + "Paint Your Wagon" (western musical) + "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" (western) {m1} - Clint Eastwood was wearing the serape from this movie + "For a Few Dollars More" (western) {m1} - see above ============================================================================== > Previous episode references ============================================================================== - For you singing and dancing pleasure {bjr} - [9F10] "The Monorail Song" - [9F19] "Send in the Clowns" - [9F21] "Baby On Board" - [1F06] "Springfield, Springfield" - [1F10] "Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart" - [2F09] "We Do (The Stonecutters' Song)" - [2F18] "See My Vest" - [3F01] "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" - [3F06] "We Put the Spring in Springfield" - [4F11] Bart carries a sequined purse {jsh} ============================================================================== > Freeze frame fun ============================================================================== - Banner for the final number THE SIMPSONS CLIP SHOW #4 5F24 ============================================================================== > Animation, continuity, and other goofs ============================================================================== * Videos in a drawer? [sigh] * Bart seemed disgusted by Burns' "See My Vest" song during this episode, but he actually liked it when he first heard it in "Two Dozen and One Greyhounds." {nmd} ============================================================================== > Reviews [I have waited for this day! --hmw] ============================================================================== Dale G. Abersold: All right, let's see what stock responses we can get from the "damning with faint praise" department. "Not a bad clip show at all." "Much better than the series pilot it preceded." "Much funnier than `Seinfeld'." I did like the portrayal of "Paint Your Wagon." You haven't lived until you've heard Clint Eastwood sing "I Talk to the Trees." And Lee Marvin singing "The First Thing You Know" is even worse than that. (Painful confession: I loved listening to the soundtrack album of this movie when I was a little kid, mostly to hear "Hand Me Down That Can of Beans", which I found to be unendingly hilarious). But the clips just seemed to represent the video version of SITKOS, while the inclusion of "We Put the Spring in Springfield" was the obligatory ad for SITKOS2 (coming this spring). Oh well, I still liked the episode. Besides, no episode could possible be worse than "The Principal and the Pauper," could it? Chris Courtois: Clip Show. Evaluating these boils down to clip selection and framing device. The framing device provided a few good laughs, particularly the pokes at "Paint Your Wagon" (yes that's a real movie, and yes, Clint and Lee Marvin do their own singing), and Snake's end credits mayhem. Less appreciated were the Milhouse-is-gay stuff (Apparently Bart forgot about the ballet class). Two seasons ago Milhouse was portrayed as psychotic, now there's the beginning of a Milhouse-is-gay running joke. Why do the writers feel the need to monkey with characters long after they've been established? I can't argue with the clip selection. Good choices all, although this show pointed out that some don't work so well when taken out of context ("Springfield, Springfield" really needs the Squishee pouring set-up to make sense) . This epsidoe did have the pleasant side effect of sending me to the CD rack to pull out "Songs in the Key of Springfield" and revel in Alf Clasen's genius. No letter grade (can't compare clip shows to "real" episodes), but I'd rank the clip shows from top to bottom as follows: "138th Episode Spectacular" (3F31), "So It's Come to This..." (9F17), "All Singing, All Dancing" (5F24), and "Another Simpsons Clip Show" (2F33). Anthony Dean: Just another clip show. Seriously, there didn't seem to be much effort to make this distinct like "So It's Come to this" or the 138th Episode Spectacular was; I was hoping for Troy McClure to play host for tonight's round of recycled footage. The end credits were probably the most amusing thing about this episode (though reminiscient of Homer at the end of "Bart Star"). (C) Nathan Mulac DeHoff: Well, it was a clip show, which makes it pretty low among Simpsons episodes. Compared to other clip shows, I would rank it above "Another Simpsons Clip Show," but below the 138th Episode Spectacular (which was an innovative idea) and "So It's Come to This" (which actually had a plot). The beginning and end were pretty good, as were Snake's appearances (especially during the credits). I don't think that the way in which the clips were introduced was very good, although I'm not really sure how it could have been improved. I liked most of the clips that were shown, although too many of them (all but one) appeared on "Songs in the Key of Springfield," and they picked most of their clips from newer episodes, when there were some musical numbers in older episodes, which might have provided a little more balance. Considering that it's a clip show, I'm going to give this episode a C. Daniel L. Dreibelbis: Once again what could have been extremely lame was made very tolerable with a fairly good framing device as a back story, and the ending certainly shows the producers of OFF hate making clip shows! This one rates third after "The 138th Episode Spectacular" and "So It's Come To This: A Simpsons Clip Show". (B) Don Del Grande: Well, since I am a fan of the musical numbers, this is rated a little higher than it probably deserves. (D+) (Well, maybe a C if you've never seen these clips before.) Jonathan S. Haas: A clip show that surpasses even the 138th Episode Spectacular. Essentially a half-hour music video, featuring great songs and great animation. Definitely one to remember. (A+) [Hahahahahahaha! --hmw] Tony Hill: The clips on this show were absolutely superb. However, this review is about the new material, which was downright horrible. The whole bit with Snake was totally plastic and one-dimensional. Whatever happened to the days when if crime was shown, punishment had to be shown as well. Snake got away with attempted murder of Our Favorite Family. Even worse, the writers are dangling a "Milhouse Is Gay" theme in front of us. (D-) Joe Klemm: The new year kicks off with an above average episode. The Paint Your Wagon spoof and the bashign that this is a clip show was funny, as well as Snake during the closing credits. However, it is still a clip show with not that much new footage, unlike the last one. (B-) Haynes Lee: A pretty pointless episode even by clipshow standards. Jake Lennington: I agree with Haynes Lee with this one -- this IS one of the worst episodes I've ever seen. IMO, the only funny part was the ending where Snake was taking shots at the credits, but even that segment failed to match Homer's "cuts" from Bart Star. (F) Ondre Lombard: I hated it. And I wouldn't be a bit surprised if the writing staff hated it, too. And if they didn't, I want to take Snake's rifle and shoot whoever thought it'd be a good idea to have the family constantly babble-singing. With clips that seem to scream "Please buy Songs in the Key of Springfield," in addition to obvious, intelligence-insulting jokes, this one takes the honor from 2F33 for being the worst clip show ever. Even the funny elements with Snake towards the end (and a funny couch scene) couldn't save this one from a 4/10. (F) Jeffrey A. Miller: I too would have like to see some songs that weren't on the album, or even some of the better ones that were on there, like Apu's paperboy song from Streetcar or Homer's "Play it cool." I love the Burlesque house routine, so anything with that gets points from me, and of course Homer's "He lied to us through song" line is still classic. There wasn't much new material, so it's hard to grade the episode overall, but Snake shooting through the credits had me LOL, so the overall experience was enjoyable. (B-) Michael K. Neylon: For being a clip show, the first two acts were painful. Their choice of songs, to some extents, was ok. ("Monorail", "In the Garden of Eden", "Springfield, Springfield" being the notable ones, and I'm glad they avoided songs from the Mary Bobbins episode.) However, the glue to link the songs was horrible. Terrible rhymes, terrible melody (note there was no harmonizing during this, unlike any of the other songs that were clipped), and even more-so, the Snake 'subplot' felt so wrong and out of place... Snake isn't a vicious murderer, and his desire to off OFF was unjustified. And certain members of the show should not sing for any length of time. The only real good luahg I got out of the original material was the end credits, with Snake shouting his threats. This episode felt like it was put together in one night. The glue between the songs could have been better... much better. It could have been easier if they didn't make the family sing between clips, and just had normal talking up to the start of the next one. Even with the songs, they lacked the musical depth that we've gotten before from the Simpsons (compare "We Put the Spring in Springfield", the lowest quality song in tonight's offering, IMO, to any of the glue bits). The music could have been so much better, but again, it felt that it was put out too fast. I know that FOX demands a clip show for the rest of the Simpsons contract, one per year, but if this is the quality of the *clip show* that they can produce, they might want to start writing the next clip show now. Overall, this was a failure to entertain to some extent with the new material, and gets an F on any scale from me. Steve Novak: I have to register my disgust at the utter lack of humor in last night's episode. As a general rule, I am not a big fan of the broadway-style singing eganged in by the Simpsons on occasion. However, I tolerate it as a necessary part of watching the best show on television and occasionally have a laugh at a cleverly worded lyric. But whoever the writer(s) is/are that insist upon this inclusion of non-funny, non-necessary musical filler should be drawn and quartered. Does anyone really feel that the musical numbers are necessary to the show? Perhaps once in a while, but not every show, and certainly not a whole show dedicated entirely to singing. Does Fox/Groening, etc. get some kind of feedback from some mythical audience that requests this piffle? To quote Lisa, "Do they really expect us to swallow this tripe?" (C) Mark Aaron Richey: For some reason, many OFF fans I know don't like the musical numbers that occasionally pop up. That is true in both a.t.s. and "real life". I, on the other hand, love most of the musical numbers. I was one of the few that reacted positively to [3G03] "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh/[Annoyed Grunt]-cious". Maybe it's because I happen to like real musicals (I already have my tickets to "Chicago" and "Rent" in St. Louis in March), but I usually appreciate the production numbers, both for themselves and what they are trying to parody. Also, with one notable exception, I have enjoyed the clip shows, another widely derided aspect of the series. So, while the idea of a clip show celebrating OFF's musical numbers resulted in much weeping and gnashing of teeth before it aired (and from reading some of the posts, during and after it aired), I looked forward to it, even though I knew it would be an (unacknowledged) commercial for "Songs in the Key of Springfield". And I was not disappointed. The wraparound story starts out strong, as Homer and Bart return from the video store with what they are sure is a violent Clint Eastwood/Lee Marvin western shoot-em-up, "Paint Your Wagon", only to discover, to their horror, that it's actually a musical comedy (they are right--listening to Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin sing in the original movie is a horror). From there, the entire family sings about the various production numbers that OFF and the rest of Springfield have engaged in, with said musical clips shown. The cast is a mixed bag when it comes to singing. Yeardley Smith is a very good singer (but we already knew that), and Nancy Cartwright isn't bad, either. There is a reason that Homer and Marge rarely break out in song, however. I don't know if DC really is a poor singer, or he is just a poor singer when doing Homer's voice. JK, however, is quite justified in her reluctance to sing. The wraparound music by Alf Clausen is quite good (I detected echos of "Les Miserables" in the music)., but the lyrics, for the most part, could have been better. Of course, the strain of coming up with that many lyrics for a clip show wraparound has to have been difficult. The part that I didn't like was Snake's constant appearance, except for the very end. It was silly and annoying. I also didn't like the trick of all of the musical moments being conveniently stored in a drawer. What's the matter with memories? The songs included in the show were generally strong. The producers tended to favor big production numbers, such as "We Put the Spring in Springfield" and "The Monorail Song" over smaller, quieter, more serious numbers (which is probably why "We Have the Power" and "Lisa's Birthday Song" didn't make the cut). Crowdpleasers like "We Do" were also included. The most surprising thing about the episode was the inclusion of "Send in the Clowns" which, since it was performed on a TV show, I wouldn't think would qualify, and "Baby on Board", the performance of which was mostly overshadowed by dialouge I also liked the meta-humor at the end, as the family complains that the worst thing possible was a long running series running "a cheesy clip show", while posing underneath a banner reminding viewers that this was the FOURTH cheesy clip show. Even if it was cheesy, however, I still enjoyed it. Not the best clip show, but not the worst. It was just enjoyable. (B) Tom Rinschler: Well, as a clip show, it's pretty much impossible to review (but I'll try anyway). It mainly depends on whether one likes the clips involved, and knowing how divided this ng is on musical numbers, I'm sure the reviews are going to be mightily divergent. I personally liked several of the choices ("In the Garden of Eden" has always been my favorite opening scene for ANY episode). As for the setup, it was creative, but the singing eventually grew stale. Snake's appearances swung quickly from the funny ("You people are too weird") to the needlesly violently unfunny (Putting a shotgun to the head of each member of OFF and pulling the trigger was NOT amusing). However, there were two excellent jokes (OFF's reaction to "Paint Your Wagon", and Snake's ranting against the closing theme music) which did raise this episode above complete failure. (C) Benjamin Robinson: It's a clip show with a difference, gathering many of the "Simpsons" musical moments in one spot. The clever concept, decent framing story, and song selection combine to give this one a "B". Matt Rose: If being on crack is what I must be for not liking this episode, than call me a crackhead. I have the Simpsons CD. I like it. I like the music of the Simpsons... however, I do not like an episode that is 1% dialogue and 99% singing, much of which was off-key singing. A little bit of music is OK, sometimes it's a very good thing (like "In A Gadda Da Vida", without a doubt my favorite beginning of an episode of all time). An episode with nothing but singing is not why I watch the Simpsons and is not anything close to entertaining for me. Before someone chews my head off, I'd like to say that I am still a Simpsons fan and accept this episode as a very subpar effort, nothing more. I take comfort in knowing that it appears like the voice actors, writers, and producers were all feeling our pain and hinting that they themselves didn't like what they were doing. Mari N. Schaal: Okay... Although I hate to Simpsons-bash, I simply did not find the humor in tonight's musical episode. Where was the plot? Are they just getting lazy? I've NEVER been so disappointed with a new ep - because I love them so much I tend to be pretty forgiving, but I just didn't see what they were getting at, if anything. Simpsons musical interludes can be fun. Often they are without a whole lot of content and plot, kind of a breather for the brain. I can tell they put a lot of thought into a lot of the songs they write, but if I wanted to see what I saw this gloomy Sunday evening, I would have simply purchased the CD! Previous clip shows have been fine, as far as I'm concerned. I have no problem with recycled material, as long as the packaging is thought-out... Am I being too harsh? Did I miss something hilarious in my jadedness? Somebody help!! Mike Smith: It's the most musically-filled episode since the Shary Bobbins one (3G03), and the best end credits since Bart Star!!! The only bad parts are the omission of the Shary Bobbins songs in favor of the "We Put The Spring In Springfield" number. I HATE THAT NUMBER!!! (A+++) [See the end of Jonathan S. Haas' review. --hmw] Yours truly: I don't like Simpsons clip shows or Simpsons songs. (D-) ============================================================================== > Comments and other observations ============================================================================== >> Playlist {jsh} 3:00 New material 1:00 Baby on Board 2:30 We Put the Spring in Springfield 0:20 New material 2:00 Springfield, Springfield (It's a Hell of a Town) 1:20 New material 1:50 Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart? 1:00 Send in the Clowns 1:45 See My Vest 1:25 New material 2:00 Monorail 1:25 In the Garden of Eden 1:45 We Do! (The Stonecutters Song) 1:00 New material 0:50 Credits >> Phil Hartman's last episode? Jordan Eisenberg: You think it's hard trying to explain what the first Simpsons episode was? Try explaining what Phil Hartman's *last* episode was. The three candidates would be either "All Singing, All Dancing (5F24)," "Bart the Mother (5F22)" or "Treehouse of Horrors IX (AABF01)." "Bart the Mother" was hyped as his last, and technically is. But in a different kind of technically, it was 5F24, and in another way, it was AABF01. Let me explain (uggh) . . . Let's lay out the scene . . . Phil Hartman records his voice for "Bart the Mother." He then returns to the studio another day and records for "All Singing, All Dancing." A long while later, he comes to the studio and records for "Treehouse of Horrors IX." Before he records anything else, he dies. This is the reason AABF01 could be considered his last. "All Singing, All Dancing" airs for the first time on January 4th, 1998, loooooooooong before the other two, and before Phil's death. Phil Hartman is shot by his wife a few months later, which prompts the producers to replace his role in the next year's THOH, which would have been his final one, with Ed McMahon, so that his last scenes (hosting the "World's Deadliest Executions") would not revolve around death. This decision countered an earlier-begun rumor that THOH9 was his last episode which perpetuated until being put to rest last month. Since technically the end result did not feature Hartman, the last-produced episode that *did* feature him (5F24) could be considered his last. "Bart the Mother" airs in September, 1998, hyped as the last Phil Hartman episode, which has some truth: This is the last time the people sitting at home watching the weekly episodes heard his voice in a new episode. This is the reason 5F22 could be considered his last. Finally, "Treehouse of Horrors IX" airs with the new Ed McMahon scenes, and all is solved. Am I getting through to anyone? Did that just make sense? Another interesting note: Snake's first gunshots during the end credits were heard while *who's* name was flashed on screen? Guess. Go on. Forgive my lack of respect for the dead, but this is one of the most beautiful ironies I've ever seen. And in his last (? ) episode, no less! >> Paint your wagon - it's no myth! David Brunt: 'Paint Your Wagon' started out as a stage musical back in the 50s (I think). It was written by Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe, one of their last collaborations. The film was made in 1969 and expanded the story to fit the location (weighing in at about 2 and a half hours). As noted previously, the single from the movie - a double a-side of "Wandrin' Star" by Lee Marvin and "I Talk to the Trees" by Clint Eastwood was the number 1 record in the UK for three weeks in March 1970. It was also the sixth biggest-selling song of the year. The film's soundtrack album was a consistant seller - spending 102 weeks in the album charts - and was held at number 2 for several weeks by Simon and Garfunkel's "Bridge over Troubled Water" album. Daniel L. Dreibelbis: Incredibly, this movie actually exists! And yes, we get to hear both Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin make their singing debuts in this 1969 Paramount travesty based on a musical by Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Lowe adapted by Paddy Chayefsky, about what happens when two miners buy and marry a wife (played by French New Wave actress Jean Seberg) and what passes for hilarity ensues. Despite the fact that PYW is notorious as one of the worst financial fiascos of all time (as documented in THE HOLLYWOOD HALL OF SHAME by Harry and Michael Medved, pgs 154-160), Mr. Marvin had the dubious achievement of having one of his songs from the movie, "I Was Born Under A Wand'rin' Star", become a top ten single purely on his, er, novel way of carrying a tune. Clint often says that this movie taught him everything he needed to know to become a movie director and producer - as a DON'T example. M1fan: The musical sketch was *supposed* to be a parody of "Paint your Wagon". However, Clint was wearing the serape from "The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly" (The GB&U) and from "For a Few Dollars More". He wore no serape in "Paint Your Wagon". Lee Van Cleef was not in "Paint Your Wagon", he was in "The GB&U" "Paint Your Wagon" was not about painting a wagon, it was about gold mining and two men in love/fighting over one woman. In retrospect, I really should of watched "Paint Your Wagon" or "The Good, The Bad, & the Ugly" instead of the crap that Fox put on. IMHO, this was the *first* Simpsons episode I ever turned off to channel surf. Thanks to the History Channel the night wasn't a total loss... >> What to rent when they're out of "Oklahoma!" Benjamin Robinson: "Paint Your Wagon" is an actual 1969 movie, and it does feature both Lee Marvin and Clint Eastwood. I haven't seen it, but I doubt it begins the way it was shown in this episode. Here's the plot summary from the Internet Movie Database : A Michigan farmer and a prospector form a partnership in the California gold country. Their adventures include buying and sharing a wife, hijacking a stage, kidnaping six prostitutes, and turning their mining camp into a boomtown. Along the way there is plenty of drinking, gambling, and singing. They even find time to do some creative gold mining. (Submitted by David J. Kiseleski {davidk269@aol.com}) Hmm, it doesn't sound too bad. Perhaps Homer shouldn't have bailed. >> Waiting to Exhale Daniel L. Dreibelbis: The 1995 weepie movie about women and their relationships with men, featuring the dubious acting "talents" of Whitney Houston (although I could imagine Homer cheering on Angela Bassett as she torches her soon-to-be-ex-husband's car!). >> Emma Daniel L. Dreibelbis: Much critically adored 1996 adaption of the Jane Austin novel starring Gwyneth Paltrow as the matchmaker who meets her match. >> And a boot to the head to... Daniel L. Dreibelbis: Global TV, who played audio about the upcoming X-Files episode over the end credits of both this episode and "Bart Star", which followed it. >> Musical references - "England Swings" was a 1965 hit for American singer-songwriter Roger Miller. {th} >> Miscellaneous - MPAA rating: TV-G {ddg} ============================================================================== > Quotes and scene summary (thanks to David McCormick for transcribing it!) ============================================================================== % Bart and Homer walk in the door, carrying a bag. Marge: We got the popcorn! Did you get "Waiting to Exhale"? Homer: They put us on the "Waiting to Exhale" waiting list, but they said "don't hold your breath". -- "All Singing, All Dancing" % Lisa asks if they got "Emma". When Homer says no, Marge enquires what % they did get. Homer: Something very close, exactly along those lines. A Clint Eastwood, Lee Marvin shoot-em-up western! Marge & Lisa: Hmmmm... Bart: So prepare yourself for the bloody mayhem and unholy carnage of Joshua Logan's "Paint Your Wagon"! Homer: With blood, I bet! -- Homer and Bart's replacement for "Emma," "All Singing, All Dancing" % Bart puts the video in the VCR. It starts with a man (man 1) on a horse % and wagon, riding into a typical Western movie-style deserted village. A % man dressed in a black suit (Clint Eastwood) is waiting for him. Man 2: Hey! That's a pretty sorry lookin' wagon you got there, mister. Clint Eastwood: I reckon it could use a coat of paint. Man 2: Well, what are we waitin' for! -- Intense! "All Singing, All Dancing" % They proceed to sing about painting their wagon, which is repeated by a % group of townsfolk, much to the horror of Homer and Bart. Homer: Agh! They're singing! They're singing, Marge! Why aren't they killing each other? Bart: Yeah, their guns are right there. Homer: Wait, wait, wait: here comes Lee Marvin. Thank God. He's always drunk and violent. -- "All Singing, All Dancing" % Another man comes out, played by Lee Marvin. Lee Marvin: What the is going on in my town? Man 1: We're just paintin' this wagon. Ya gotta problem with that? Lee Marvin: As a matter of fact I do. You missed a spot. Man 1: Well, grab a brush and join in! -- "All Singing, All Dancing" % Marvin breaks into song on his own, saying he'll use oil based paint, % because the wood is pine (Ponderosa pine, sing the women). Marge: Who knew that Lee Marvin could do such marvellous splits? Lisa: He's dreamy. Homer: [ejects tape] Ooh, why did they have to ruin a perfectly serviceable wagon story with all that fruity singing? -- "All Singing, All Dancing" % Although Marge thought it was "toe-tappin' fun", Homer thinks that singing % is the "lowest form of communication". Marge: Homer, you sing all the time. Homer: No I don't, I hate to rhyme. Lisa: You like musicals, (breaking into song) don't you dad? Homer: [singing] No, I don't, I think they're bad, They're fake and phony and totally wrong Bart: [singing] Wake up dad, you're singing a song. -- "All Singing, All Dancing" % Homer protests, but Marge says that their videos show otherwise: roll clip % (1:02) of 9F21 "Homer's Barbershop Quartet": % % Homer walks out a door on the roof of Moe's Tavern, where Apu, Seymour, % and Barney wait for him. % % The four break into "Baby On Board," and all the passers-by stop to % listen. No one pays any attention to "Human Fly", who stayed up all night % dyeing his underwear. A newsie hocks a paper to a man by pretending it % contained an article about the Be Sharps. George Harrison drives by in % his limo, rolls down the window, and glances up at the four of % them..."It's been done," he says, and drives off. Even Wiggum and Lou % seem impressed at the display, until Wiggum tells Lou to get the tear gas. % % Fade into a 2:13 clip of 4F06 "Bart After Dark": % % The crowd begins to break apart the house. Bart tells Homer to do % something. Homer declares that if they destroy the burlesque house, they % are destroying a part of themselves. Follows a musical number which % slowly wins the heart of all mobsters. End clip. % % Back in the present, Bart agrees with Marge that Homer's singing is a sin. Bart: [singing] Mom was right: your singing's a sin; It's as lame as a rawhide (?), as Lee Marvi-- (Homer chokes him) Marge: [singing] Sure your dad's singing could make your hair curl, But you too, Bart, have sung and danced like a girl. Bart: Eeeep. -- "All Singing, All Dancing" % Marge inserts a videotape, which has a 1:57 clip of 1F06 "Boy-Scoutz N the % Hood". % % The boys cheer as they walk out. Milhouse forces a straw into the % Squishy, commenting how thick it is. He tries to drink some of it % through the straw, but he sucks the straw into his throat and his % glasses fly off. Bart doesn't bother with the straw; he simply drinks % straight out of the cup. "Whoa! That's good squishy," he smiles, but % then his eyes start to go wonky and he groans. His vision trebles, and % three Milhouses ask him, "What's it like, Bart?" Bart can only stutter % incoherently, and Milhouse grabs the Squishy: "Gimme that!" He takes a % slurp, then groans himself, and his face twitches. Bart: OK, we're young, rich, and full of sugar. What do we do? Milhouse: [yelling] Let's go crazy, Broadway style! [singing together] Springfield, Springfield, it's a hell of a town: the schoolyard's up and the shopping mall's down. The stray dogs go to the animal pound, Bart: Springfield, Springfield! Milhouse: Springfield, Springfield! Sailor: New York, New York! Bart: New York is that-a-way, man! Sailor: Thanks, kid! Together: [singing] It's a hell of a...toooown! -- Painting the town green, a clip of 1F06 "Boy Scoutz 'N the Hood", "All Singing, All Dancing" % The two young men have a hell of a time: first, they go to the % skateboard park, where a man in a suit shows Bart a skateboard for his % approval. At the VIP video game room, Milhouse plays two games at once % while a garcon brings him a drink. The boys go to see "Cats" next, and % Bart mischieviously starts a cat-fight by spitting some Squishy at one % of the actors. Then, they buy lots of packs of "Toothless Joe"-brand % bubblegum-flavored chewing product and blow immense bubbles with it -- % so immense that when the bubbles burst, they are covered with pink % stuff. Homer happens by, and he sticks his finger in it and licks it % off. "Mmm, free goo." % % At the 24-hour rub-on tattoo parlor, Bart gets a cobweb and bat on his % right arm and a snake on his left arm, while Milhouse has a woman on his % right arm, a globe on his left arm, and a fiery skull on his torso. As % they leave, Barney is seen to be walking behind them. I don't know where you magic pixies came from...but I like your pixie drink! [drinks some squishy] -- Barney to Milhouse and Bart, a clip of 1F06 "Boy Scoutz 'N the Hood", "All Singing, All Dancing" % Apu's laughing face appears while images whirl by: a "Models and Model % Decals" store, a triple-G rated movie theater, a "Sweet tooth" sign, a % "Come on in" sign, "Bootleg Records", "All Nite Arcade", and a "Booking" % and a "Batting" sign. Then, the signs begin to blur as they spin around % faster. % % The next morning, Bart wakes up on his bed, under a blanket. Bart: [groans] Oh, my head. -- 1:57 from 1F06 ("Boy Scoutz 'N the Hood"): "All Singing, All Dancing" % End clip. Fade back to living room. Lisa: [singing] That was pretty bad, Bart, but it could have been worse: You could have been carrying a sequin purse: Bart: [singing] I hate to dance, and prance and sing, That's really more of a Milhouse thing: Marge: [singing] I think you move like a young Barizhnikov [Snake comes in the open window, singing] Snake: Nobody move, or I'll blow your heads off! -- "All Singing, All Dancing" % The family and Snake exchange ooohs, and then the music changes. Marge: [singing] It's a desperate criminal On the run from the law, Spare my children, Homer: [singing] And their deep trousered paw; Snake: [singing] A singing family! It's worse than I feared, For hostage purposes, [spoken] you're just too weird. Bye! -- "All Singing, All Dancing" % The music returns to what it was. Homer: See, all this singing scared him away, If we'd just talk like normal he'd probably stay. Lisa: Many people in this town sing like we do, There's Mr. Burns, there's Krusty, and even Apooooooo... % Fade into a 1:46 clip of 1F10 ("Homer and Apu"): Apu: You see, whether igloo hut, or lean-to, or a geodesic dome, There's no structure I have been to, which I'd rather call my home. When I first arrived, you were all such jerks, But now I've come to looooooove your quirks. Maggie with her eyes so bright, Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright, Lisa can philosophize, Bart's adept at spinning lies, Homer's a delightful fella, sorry about the salmonella. Homer: [Heh heh, that's OK.] Apu: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Now here comes the tricky part. Oh, won't you rhyme with me? Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Marge: Their floors are Stick-E-Mart, Lisa: They make Dad Sick-E-Mart, Bart: Let's hurl a Brick-E-Mart, Homer: The Kwik-E-Mart is real...[D'oh!] Apu: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Not meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...[held for next three lines] OFF: Forget the Kwik-E-Mart, Goodbye to Kwik-E-Mart, Who needs Kwik-E-mart? Apu: Not me. -- The Kwik-E-Mart song, a clip of 1F10 "Homer and Apu, "All Singing, All Dancing" Homer: Everything _really_ wrapped up nicely. [checks his watch] Ooh, much quicker than usual. Marge: I guess we've learned that happiness is wherever you find it. Homer: And we've _all_ found happiness, every one of us. [Apu sobs in the background] Hey, what's that sound? [outside, they see Apu on the roof] Apu: [singing folornly] Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? I do. Homer: Hey, he's not happy at all. He lied to us through song. I _hate_ when people do that! -- Damn you, feeble song, a clip of 1F10 "Homer and Apu", "All Singing, All Dancing" % End clip. Fade into 0:56 of 9F19 "Krusty Gets Kancelled": % % The Krusty Comeback Special begins, with Krusty singing ``Send in % the Clowns'', joined by Sideshow Mel. % % End clip. Fade into 1:42 of 2F18 "Two Dozen and One Greyhounds": % % Lisa reconsiders her position: "Maybe we were wrong about % Burns on this one." The two children shuffle along to the next window % and watch. Smithers: Are you sure you want to go through with this, Sir? You _do_ have a very full wardrobe as it is. Burns: Yes...but not completely full. For you see... [singing] Some men hunt for sport, others hunt for food, The only thing I'm hunting for is an outfit that looks good. [to the tune of "Be Our Guest"] See my vest, see my vest, made from real gorilla chest, Feel this sweater, there's no better than authentic Irish Setter. See this hat? 'Twas my cat. My evening wear? Vampire bat. These white slippers are albino African endangered rhino. Grizzly bear underwear; turtles' necks, I've got my share. Beret of poodle on my noodle it shall rest; Try my red robin suit, it comes one breast or two, See my vest, see my vest, see my vest! [with hat and cane] Like my loafers? Former gophers! It was that or skin my chauffers, But a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best. So let's prepare these dogs -- Woman: Kill two for matching clogs! Burns: See my vest, see my vest, oh please, won't you see my vest? [spoken] I really like the vest. Smithers: I gathered, yeah. -- Disney, schmisney, "Two Dozen & One Greyhounds" % End clip. Lisa: [singing] Because he was singing we overheard his plans, And could save those dogs from that mean old man. Bart: [singing] It still wasn't worth Burns' song and dance: Snake: [singing] I'm back, so resume wetting your pants! Homer: [scared] OK... -- "All Singing, All Dancing" Snake: [singing] Because of you all, I got a tune in my head, And the only way to stop it is to make you all dead. Homer: [sighs] I knew I should've shut that window... Snake: Say your prayers, and then it's kablammo! [pulls the trigger at each of OFF's heads, but the gun just clicks] Uh-oh! I'll be back when I get some ammo! -- "All Singing, All Dancing" Homer: [singing] Even the criminals are beginning to croon; Marge: [singing] Oh Homie, this whole town runs on a tune, Our churches, our clubs, our government too; Bart: [singing] Springfield swings like a pendulum do! Lisa: [singing] We can't even get any local laws passed Without everyone singing [held] like a big Broadway cast... -- "All Singing, All Dancing" % Fade into a 1:57 clip of 9F10 "Marge vs. the Monorail": Quimby: We will now hear suggestions for the disbursement of the two million dollars. Lisa: Don't you mean million dollars? Quimby: [looks around nervously, adjusts his tie] Of course. million dollars. -- ``Marge vs. the Monorail'' % Then a fast-talking gentleman introduces himself. Lyle Lanley plays the % crowd like he's done it a million times before. We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville. Just tell us your idea, and we'll vote for it! -- Mayor Quimby, a clip of 9F10 "Marge vs. the Monorail", "All Singing, All Dancing" % He unveils a model of the Springfield Monorail, just like the ones % he sold to Ogdenville, North Haverbrook, and Brockway. Whence follows % a musical number. % % End clip. Fade into a 1:21 clip of 3F02 "Bart Sells His Soul": % % It's another suburban Sunday morning as the faithful file into the most % holy First Church of Springfield. Bart: Hymns, here! I got hymns, here. Get 'em while they're holy. Fresh from God's brain to your mouth. Heh heh heh. Lovejoy: And now, please rise for our opening hymn, uh..."In the Garden of Eden," by I. Ron Butterfly. [Mrs. Feesh starts playing] Everyone: In the garden of Eden, honey, Don't you know that I lo-ove yo-ou? In the garden of Eden, baby, Don't you know that I'll always be tru-ue? [Bart chuckles] Homer: [quietly] Hey Marge, remember when we used to make out to this hymn? [they both chuckle] -- Nothing like sinning to a hymn, a clip of 3F02 "Bart Sells His Soul", "All Singing, All Dancing" % A longish organ solo takes place, Mrs. Feesh gradually getting sweatier % and more disheveled. "Oh won't you come with me/and take my hand?" % everyone sings. The Rev. takes a closer look at the words and observes, % "Wait a minute. This looks like rock and/or roll." Someone throws a % beach ball at him and it bounces off his head. Seventeen minutes later, % Mrs. Feesh plays an arpeggio while various members of the audience (er, % congregation) hold lit candles above them. She plays the final five % notes and collapses onto the organ. % % End clip. Fade into a 0:45 clip of 2F09 "Homer the Great". The screen says % "Stonecutters' Headquarters" over a shot of the club's outside. Inside, % everyone raises their glasses and sings. Everyone: Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? We do! We do. Who leaves the Atlantis off the maps? [shot of Carl] Who keeps the Martians under wraps? [shot of Lenny] We do! We do. [shot of Martian] Who holds back the electric car? Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star? [shot of Steve] We do! We do. Who robs cave fish of their sight? [shot of Skinner] Who rigs every Oscar night? [shot of Homer] We do! We do. -- The Stonecutters' call to order, a clip of 2F09 "Homer the Great", "All Singing, All Dancing" % End clip. Back in OFF's house: Homer: [singing] All right Marge, You've convinced me there are more terrible things, Than musical comedies where everyone sings. Lisa: There is something worse: Bart: And it really does blow: OFF: When a long-running series does a cheesy clip show! -- "All Singing, All Dancing" % Then Snake comes back, to "commit felonious assault. But when he hears % they're done, he leaves. Marge asks who'd like dinner, and everyone does. % "Well, let's get eating!". She finally closes the window, but Snake shoots % through it anyway. % % Time: 20:31 % % Over the closing credits: [music plays at normal volume] Snake: [shoots twice] Yo! I told you to stop the music, dudes! I'm serious! [silence, then music comes back, a bit quieter] Snake: Oh, oh, ooh! You're so not listening! [shoots again] [silence, then music comes back, barely audible] Snake: OK, I hear that. I hear that dudes! [shoots] [over the Gracie Films logo] Snake: [shoots] You too, Gracie music dude! Guh! -- "All Singing, All Dancing" ============================================================================== > Contributors ============================================================================== {bjr} Benjamin Robinson {ddg} Don Del Grande {jsh} Jonathan S. Haas {m1} M1fan {nmd} Nathan Mulac DeHoff {th} Tony Hill ============================================================================== > Legal mumbo jumbo ============================================================================== [5F24] capsule copyright 2002, Hari Michael Wierny. (The quotes remain the property of Fox, and the reproduced articles remain the property of their respective authors. I'm just taking credit for the compilation.) Quotes and Scene Summary by David McCormick! Not to be redistributed in public forum without permission. Thanks to Benjamin Robinson and Frederic Briere for providing me with the a.t.s. archives necessary for completing the capsule to it's fullest, and to David McCormick for his great job on the QASS.