She of Little Faith Written by Bill Freiberger Directed by Steven Dean Moore ============================================================================== Production code: DABF02 Original Airdate on FOX: 16-Dec-2001 Capsule revision A (5-Jun-04) ============================================================================== > "TV Guide" Synopsis ============================================================================== [TVGuide.com] Richard Gere guest stars in a Christmas episode that spawns a crisis of religious conscience in Lisa. The trouble starts when congregants of the First Church of Springfield, faced with a sudden need for funds, turn for help to Mr. Burns (Harry Shearer), who turns the church into a business ("The old church was skewing pious," says his advisor). Enter podium-placed advertising and in-sermon commercials; and exit an outraged Lisa. Her disenchantment leads her to the Springfield Buddhist Temple and to Gere, who introduces her to teachings she finds easy to embrace. All of which has Rev. Lovejoy (also Shearer) wondering what to do about "Marge Simpson's devil daughter." {sx} ============================================================================== > Title sequence ============================================================================== Blackboard: I DO NOT HAVE A CEREAL NAMED AFTER ME {ddg} Couch: A giant slot machine sits in the couch's usual spot. The tumblers spin, and eventually come to rest on portraits of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and ... not Maggie. Instead, the final tumbler comes up with Lucky Number 7. Jackpot! The machine dispenses a pile of gold coins. ============================================================================== > Did You Notice... ============================================================================== Jeff Cross: ... Marge's old coworker Cookie Kwan has her own real estate agency? Don Del Grande: ... the movie was on during a baseball rain delay? [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.] ... Homer's contact lenses seem to disappear, the way his beard seems to reappear immediately after he shaves? ... in "this universe", somebody thinks "Ally McBeal" is still a great show? ... the stained glass windows in front of the church are covered with artwork, but the others aren't? ... the church has "The Ten Suggestions"? ... Lisa doesn't have a Christmas stocking? Vic Fear: ... the electric Amish sign? (Given that the Amish believe in simplicity and shy away from modern conveniences like electricity, this has to be seen as ironic.) ... HJS on nerd's rocket stands for Homer J Simpson? Alex Foley: ... this is the 1st episode written by Bill Freiberger? ... Jon Vitti is back as a producer (yeah I know everyone already knew he was coming back, but I still find it good news)? ... Homer did punch God in a way (by destroying the church)? ... Smithers was nowhere to be seen (perhaps he won't attend church because of his sexual preference?)? ... Paul Reiser's Book was a NY Times Bestseller? Darrel Jones: ... Milhouse walks away with Benjamin, Doug, and Gary after Homer's warning of "no nerds allowed"? ... the ad for Cookie Kwan from [5F06] on Lovejoy's new pedestal? Joe Klemm: ... Maggie doesn't appear in the couch gag? ... the back of the airline seat pews consists of a tray table, a place to keep books, and a place to kneel on? Chad Lehman: ... hamster Nibbles can understand English? ... despite calling Col. Chip Manners a loser, Bart falls for the commercial anyway? ... the neon Jesus sign doesn't seem to bother Lisa, but the ads inside the church do? ... Agnes fans her face when Burns throws the smoke bomb? ... Marge's green dress has a collar when she's wearing the sweater, and her pearls are gone? Benjamin Robinson: ... Homer's credit card number is 5783653434107109? ... Homer's flossing loosens a tiny chunk of food? ... little bits of stained glass continue to fall out of the broken windows as Ms. Naegle talks? ... Rev. Lovejoy didn't have the ad on his robe during the services? (Maybe he didn't sign the deal, after all) ... *Patty* knows about the urinal ice? [shudder] Steven X: ... in the first scene of the show the spaceship did not have "yaw control"? (Man, has technology come a long way or what?) ... Milhouse looks strangely similar to Akbar or Jeff when he lost his glasses and eyebrows? ============================================================================== > Voice Credits ============================================================================== - Starring - Dan Castellaneta (Space Captain [?], Homer, Mel) - Julie Kavner (Marge, Selma, Patty) - Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Kearney, Todd, Ralph) - Yeardley Smith (Lisa) - Hank Azaria (Spaceman, Doug, Money Changer, CBG, Usher, Carl) - Harry Shearer (Announcer, Ned, Benjamin, Wino Executive, Lovejoy, Burns, Lenny) - Special Guest Voice - Richard Gere (Himself) - Also Starring - Pamela Hayden (Milhouse, Jimbo) - Tress MacNeille (Lindsey Naegle, Dolph) - Karl Wiedergott (Bum) ============================================================================== > Movie (and other) references ============================================================================== + Matthew 14:30-31 {cl} - the episode's title comes from Jesus' common assessment of his disciples "ye of little faith" + "Star Trek" (TV series) {cl} - "To boldly go where _____ ... have gone before" + "Whip It" (song) - Homer's flossing ditty is sung to the tune of this Devo song + "High Flight" (poem) {bjr} - Homer's "surly bonds of gravity" speech riffs on this poem by John Gillespie Magee, Jr. - early NASA launch experiments {jc} - rockets exploding on the launch pad + Kennedy Space Center at Cape Canaveral {jc} - Nediddy Space Center at Cape Flandeveral + Saturn V (moon rocket) {ah} - the rocket built by the nerds looks like one + Jackie Kennedy (former first lady) {vf} - girl hamster dressed as Jackie Kennedy the day JFK was assassinated + "Apollo 13" (movie) - the hamster going up the rocket gantry) {ddg} - Homer dressed like Clint Howard's character at the launch {jc} + "The Right Stuff" (movie) {jc} - successful launch reaction shots similar - "October Sky" (movie) {rs} - scene of the rocket launching and being visible from the town is reminiscent of the end of the movie - "Falling Down" (movie) {bj} - Homer looked a lot like Michael Douglas at the beginning with that shotgun in his hand + State Line Casino (Wendover, NV casino) {cl} - neon Jesus sign, complete with lasso and moving arm with thumb pointing over his shoulder looks like the State Line's cowboy sign - "Dogma" (movie) {vf} - neon Jesus sign of church reminiscent of Buddy Jesus from 1999 movie + The Flying Dutchman (maritime legend) {bjr} - ad for the Frying Dutchman restaurant seen + "Let's Get Physical" (song) {bjr} - ad for Let's Get Fiscal financial services seen + "Spartacus" (movie) {bjr} - ad for Sportacus sports store seen + "The Last Supper" (painting) {bjr} - becomes one of those novelty photo backgrounds + the story of Doubting Thomas {bjr} - Lisa called a "pouting Thomas" on the God-Cam [Tom Restivo notes that Thomas appears in John 20:24-29 -- Ed.] - "Saturday Night Live" (TV series) {af} - SNL used to show members of the studio audiences and displayed message below them, like what happened to Lisa with God Cam. + Crazy Eddie (New York-area electronics shop) {cl} - "Crazy Larry's prices are IN-SANE!" (Exact same line used by Crazy Eddie) + "Ally McBeal" (TV series) {ddg} - ad in the church + Domino's Pizza (pizza delivery chain) - their old mascot, the Noid, delivers a guest sermon + Pep Boys (auto-parts supply chain) - ad for Zip Boys seen + "Fatherhood" (book) {ew} + "Babyhood" (book) {jc} - "Religionhood" + Zagat's Guide to Restaurants {bjr} - now they've branched into world religion + Bed Bath and Beyond (home-decoration store) + Baha'i (religion) {ew} - both referred to by the "Bed Bath & Baha'i" sign + Whisky Au Go-Go (Hollywood rock club) {ew} - Whisky a God God a reference + Church of Latter Day Saints {af} - Church of Latter Day Druids sign a take-off + Spider-Man (comic-book superhero) - Ned refers to his "Satan Sense;" compare with Spidey's "Spider Sense" when danger approaches + "Short Shorts" (song) {dj} - Lenny and Carl recite the lyrics of this 1958 Royal Teens song while "enlightened" ============================================================================== > Previous episode references ============================================================================== - Moe and Suicide {cl} - [2F03] Moe hangs (himself?) in the opening credits - [4F11] After a gay man saves him, it's suicide again for him - [BABF07] Moe's head comes out of the oven, replaced by a plump Christmas goose - [BABF08] Off a tall building ... is a GREAT way to "do it" - [MG34], [7G08], [3F07], [5F07], [BABF07] It's Christmas {af} - [7G08], [8F06] Lisa wants a pony {ddg} - [7G08] Homer finds their dog, so Christmas would be complete {cl} - [7G11] "Officer and a Gentleman" is Mentioned (Last scene in 7G11 is a take- off of the last scene in the movie {af} - [7F12] Gulp 'N Blow seen {bjr} - [7F19] someone says "I know it's you!" {cl} - [7F22] Operation (lame-name) (mail take/Xmas-remind-of-how good-is) {cl} - [8F22], [2F16] Someone yells, and birds fly off a tree symmetrically {cl} - [9F01] Description apparently leading to Jesus ends up with someone else {bjr} - [9F01] Someone likes "short-shorts" {cl} - [9F06], [9F17] Frying Dutchman sign {af} - [9F10], [3F04] Lard Lad appears {gb} - [9F14] Hamsters' cannibalizing their young mentioned {bjr} - [9F19] Luke Perry says, "My face! My beautiful face!" (cf. "My eyebrows, my beautiful eyebrows!") {bjr} - [9F20] "6 to 8 weeks later" {ddg} - [1F02], [BABF06] Helpful college nerds appear - [1F06] Scene where Lisa walks along looking for a religion is reminiscent of the scene where Bart and Milhouse are stoned on Squishee {af} - [1F07] Homer wears horn-rim glasses (not to be confused with his reading glasses) {cl} - [1F07], [3F17] Milhouse is a nerd {dj} - [1F13] G-force pushes astronaut's face flesh back {cl} - [1F20] Reverend Lovejoy disparages the Bible {af} - [2F15] Botched escape in a cloud of smoke {bjr} - [2F16] Distant yelling disturbs Flanders {cl} - [3F02] Genuine concern about a family member's soul {cl} - [3F04] Zip Boys seen {bjr} - [3F16] Homer dons a colander for a cap {cl} - [3F16] Bart calls someone a loser {cl} - [3F24] "Short Shorts" song heard {bjr} - [4F06] Lisa owns a tree {cl} - [4F14] Marge interferes with one of her children's prayers {cl} - [5F03] Sportacus seen {bjr} - [5F06] Tough-as-nail realtor Cookie Kwan advertises at the church {bjr} - [5F10], [BABF22] Soul-searching walk past neon signs {bjr} - [AABF01] Regis says, "My eyes! My beautiful eyes!" {tr2} - [AABF14] Lisa singled out for Heaven {cl} - [AABF18] Bart ingests jagged metal "Krusty-O," then complains {gb} - [AABF18] Lindsey Naegle Appears {af} - [AABF18] A two-part "horse", made of people {cl} - [AABF21] The Frying Dutchman seen {bjr} - [AABF22] First Church of Springfield in peril of being destroyed by projectile (rocket/tank shell) {cl} - [BABF07] One of Moe's Christmas "accidents" {cl} - [BABF09] The bullies beat on one of their own {cl} - [BABF20] Someone feels "conflicted" {cl} - [CABF01] Omni-Pave seen {bjr} - [CABF04] Let's Get Fiscal seen {bjr} ============================================================================== > Freeze frame fun ============================================================================== - Model rocket box {bjr} ORBIT [R] KING [O] [C] [kid] [K] [E] [T] - Makeshift window coverings, from left to right {bjr} - Adam, Eve, and the serpent in Eden - Moses parting the Red Sea - The Crucifixion - Noah's Ark - Shirt Lindsey wants Reverend Lovejoy to wear {af} FATSO'S HASH HOUSE - Signs on Church (Left Wall) {af} BUZZ GULP KWIK-E-MART 'N COLA BLOW - (Center Wall) {af} THE FRYING DUTCHMAN LET'S GET FISCAL (Same pic seen in 9F06) ------------------ ALL YOU CAN EAT FINANCIAL PLANNING - (Right Wall) {af} (Picture of Two (Picture of 3 Guys) Gladiators Fighting) ZIP BOYS SPORTACUS Sporting Goods - Money exchange booth {bjr} $ MONEY CHANGER $ - In-church TV {af} GODCAM (Lisa has her arms crossed and is mad) "POUTING THOMAS" - Signs on Podium {af} SPRINGFIELD BELL (pic. of bell) COOKIE KWAN (pic of REALTOR Kwan) Watch Ally McBeal It's Great! - Other ads seen around the church {bjr} OMNI-PAVE KBBL TALK RADIO - Church Ad List (Second Version) {ddg} - Fatso's Hash House (Reverend Lovejoy's proposed shirt), Buzz Cola, Lard Lad Donuts, Gulp 'N' Blow, Kwik-E-Mart, The Frying Dutchman, Let's Get Fiscal Financial Planning, Sportacus Sporting Goods, Zip Boys, Omni-Pave, Red (Roof?) Realty, The Singing Sirloin, KBBL Talk Radio, Springfield Bell, Cookie Kwan Realtor, Ally McBeal, Crazy Larry, Domino's Pizza (the Noid), Costington's - People at church (Back to front, L-R) {af} Back Row (visible): Groundskeeper Willie, Burns Lawyer, x 2nd row: Chief Wiggum, Ralph Wiggum, Sarah Wiggum, x, x, x 3rd Row: Jack Marley, x, x, Selma, Patty, x 4th Row: Mrs. Glick, x, Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa 5th Row: Luann Van Houten, Pyro, x, x, Mr. Largo, x 6th Row: Martin Prince's Dad, Martin Prince, Mrs. Prince(?), x, Mrs. Hibbert, Dr. Hibbert Front: Rod/Todd Flanders(?), Sideshow Mel, x, x The x denotes anonymous background people. - Paul Reiser book PAUL REISER [ Reiser as an ] [an Orthodox Jew] RELIGIONHOOD - Book Lisa Reads {af} ZAGAT'S ------------ GUIDE TO WORLD RELIGIONS - Signs that Lisa passes by during sequence {af} BED, BATH & B A H A ' I Whiskey a God God of Church the Latter Day D R U I D S AMISH SPRINGFIELD BUDDHIST TEMPLE - Members of the Church Funds group {jk} - Rev. Lovejoy - Mrs. Lovejoy - Marge - Kearny - Ned Flanders - Jasper - Mrs. Skinner - Meditation warning sign {bjr} MEDITAION IN PROGRESS ============================================================================== > Animation, continuity, and other goofs ============================================================================== = Lisa's alarm clock switches between 7:00 and 8:00 when she says her prayers. {ddg} * Lenny must of the recently converted, since he's been seen in church before. In 5F23 in fact he was one of the few people who did not join the cult and was seen at church. ({bjr} writes, "Hey, weren't you listening to Richard Gere? They're okay with you practicing other religious rituals in addition to Buddhism" -- Ed.) {af} c After Burns' failed smoke bomb escape, he gives the money to the church. Then, captioning has Burns saying, "How many Doomsday machines does one man need, anyway?", but the audio is silent. {tpl} = At the end of tonight's episode, [Marge and Lisa] walked from the living room to the TV room, past the kitchen doorway, then past the back door, and past some portraits on the far wall ... as if they were going around the room ... but the walls seemed to go in a straight line! {mg} ============================================================================== > Reviews ============================================================================== Don Del Grande: The rocket bit was pretty good, but they didn't do very much with the "ads in the church" bit (the "new pew" gag, for example, didn't seem to be in place), and then it seemed to be a rehash of the ending of "Lisa the Vegetarian" ... and although Lisa has said she would "give lip service to Christianity" (the way she does to meat-eaters), are the writers going to go out of their way to keep Lisa away from expressing opinions of other religions? (B) Alex Foley: The 1st episode of the Al Jean era begins ... and it was decent. The major problem with this episode was that it took two acts to get to the main thrust of the episode, which is Lisa's crisis of faith. It would of done the story better to cut out the gerbil bit and save it for another episode (because it was funny) and get to Burns changing the church and Lisa renouncing the Church at the end of Act I instead, which would have made the story stronger. Still it was a decent episode with some good LOL moments. Good, but not Great, Start to Al Jean's reign. (B-) Zan Hecht: Great first act, it had me laughing out loud several times. The second act slowed down a bit, and wasn't really funny until the final gag (which I can't remember right now, but I laughed out loud at the time). The third act was just unfunny, but still entertaining. There were a couple of scenes that didn't seem to fit, such as the scene with Bart and the bullies and the scene on the trailers where Homer finds the dog, but other than that, nothing this week was objectionable. Considering that this was Al Jean's first attempt at producing in quite some time, I have high hopes for the future of the season. (B+) Darrel Jones: Loved it. All the gags fell into place, like the hooch bit and the Noid. Burns was his usual semi-competent evil self. While it was rather similar to [3F03], that doesn't bother me because it's the ep that got me interested in the show, and Lisa wasn't nearly as self-righteous this time. A well-deserved 10/10. (A+) Yours Truly: "She of Little Faith" is a thought provoking show -- until it actually begins. The root problem might lie in the pacing. The setup is funny, but takes so long that by the time we get to Lisa's conversion, the show has only enough time to explore it in a rushed and shallow fashion. The rocket subplot probably should have been a show unto itself. On the other hand, Homer comes off nicely here. Richard Gere has some good lines, but it would have been better if he had played a role, rather than himself. A promising episode, but ultimately it isn't "Simpsons" Nirvana. (C+) AVERAGE GRADE: B (3.02) Std Dev.: 0.6596 (9 reviews computed) ============================================================================== > Comments and other observations ============================================================================== >> Timing is everything According to a caption, the rocket is delivered in six to eight weeks. Don Del Grande figures that's about right: It was 6 to 8 weeks until the rocket arrived, and then another 3 weeks for the church to be built, so that's 11 weeks, plus the time from when Lisa left until Christmas Eve, so it [the delivery time frame] is possible. Jim DiDomenico agrees: Remember that this year, the World Series didn't end this year until early November, about 8 weeks before Christmas. (It was pushed back 1 week by the 9/11 attacks; this is the first time baseball has gone into November). Add the 3 weeks and at least another week of Lisa being Buddhist and it's late-September regular season games. >> Old references never die Alex Cain thought the Noid reference passed its sell-by date: Domino's stopped that particular ad campaign and icon around 1990 or so. Ten years is a little too much, even for "The Simpsons." Aaron Hirshberg responds: And that's why they also satirized 50s style Sci-Fi movies, which are 40-50 years old. And Mrs. Hamster was dressed like Jackie Kennedy was on 11/22/63 [That's November 22, for people who put the day first in dates], the day JFK was assassinated, 38 years ago. Bucky Jones adds: I got it, you got it, everyone else in here got it ... what's the problem? Marge used it as a reference in a previous episode ... should we feel bad if someone's too clueless to get the reference? Should we cater to the ignorant? Should they have used Domino's newer, lamer, and more unrecognizable mascot Andy? Frederick J. Barnett: Not only did I remember the Noid, I STILL have one of those Noid toys with the suction cups on the hands for hanging in a car window! I always loved the little guy, even though I can't stand pizza (maybe that was why?), and loved the reference. Matt Garvey: I like the more obscure references anyway. Kevin Madden notes: The Noid would be in desperate need of work right about now. >> Buddhism: The religion of superstars! Benjamin Robinson writes: Tired of the hypocrisy, corruption, one-upmanship, and constant panhandling found in most Western religions? Well, my friend, Buddhism may be the answer for you! At least, it was the answer for a lot of disaffected young Americans searching for spiritual enlightenment. Enlightenment, of course, is what Buddhism is all about. It dates back to the sixth century BCE when its founder, Siddhartha Gautama, had a revelation: The best way to achieve inner peace was to practice a program of meditation, kindness towards others, and personal modesty. By not giving in to mundane earthly desires like lust, materialism, and BMW ownership, Buddhists strive to reach Nirvana, a moment when you reach perfect spiritual knowledge. (I think. Nirvana has always sounded vaguely-defined to me, perhaps because words *can't* describe it very well.) There's more, a lot more, to the religion. If you want to hear it from people who actually know what they're talking about, you could try some of the newsgroups dedicated to it like and its subgroups, , or . Buddhism's back-to-basics concentration on the spirit has gained it followers here in the West. Some converts drop their old religion entirely, and practice Buddhism in the same way people in the religion's traditional home territory do. Other people don't really convert, but adapt what they see as the best aspects of Buddhism into their own religion. Some, like Lisa, take a compromise approach. They are primarily Buddhists, but participate in other religions as well. (Evidently, you're allowed to do this, since religion in Asia is generally a non-exclusive thing.) Richard Gere, by the way, probably is the most famous *American* Buddhist. Like Lisa, he's an idealist; the kind of guy who might use an awards ceremony to drum up support for a free Tibet, or a fund- raiser to push for peace between America and Afghanistan. What he's doing in Springfield is anyone's guess. Perhaps the universe arranged for him to be there to show Lisa the way. Gert Wallage, practicing Buddhist, writes: First of all, "the Springfield Buddhist Temple" was an interesting hodge-podge of items you'd be unlikely to find in any single temple anywhere ... which arguably makes it "generic," I suppose. The temple exterior is (more or less) traditional Chinese. The rock garden that Richard Gere is tending is Japanese Zen. (Incidentally, in real life you usually find rock gardens *outside* the temple!) Is it possible that this is a veiled reference to Gere's initial interest in Japanese Zen, which he practiced for several years before discovering, and committing to, Tibetan Buddhism? Er, probably not ... The "laughing Buddha" at the front of the temple is a Chinese figure known as Pu-tai, popularly regarded as an incarnation of Maitreya, the Buddha to come. Chinese Buddhists sometimes view him as a god of good luck and prosperity. Now, you wouldn't normally see one in the place of honour in the centre of the temple's main shrine; this spot is usually reserved for a statue of THE Buddha, namely the historical Sakyamuni Buddha. So that was actually a little odd. (One reason why my husband and I *especially* enjoyed the line "Who's the Buddha?") "Om mani padme hum" is the most famous Buddhist mantra -- the mantra of compassion. Interestingly, aside from Richard Gere and the reference to the Dalai Lama, this was the only Tibetan Buddhist element to appear in the episode. *Something* (not sure what) was shown at the back of the temple, next to the door. Gotta say, if it was meant to be a stepped table full of votive candles, 'twas more Catholic than Buddhist. And on the plus side: 1 - The thumbnail summary of Buddhist tenets was actually pretty good. Less toe-curling than that "King of the Hill" episode, for sure. 2 - I never thought I'd hear either of these phrases on a Simpsons episode, but there they were: "All things are empty of inherent existence" and "Free Tibet!" Frankly, I was surprised that FOX went along with that second line ... until I realized that Richard Gere probably wouldn't have agreed to appear on the show unless it included an explicit reference to the Chinese occupation of Tibet. [Greg Bair replies, "I don't think FOX really cares what is said on the show as long as it's within decency limits. FOX has never really censored stuff on political reasons, although they have been with some stuff lately" -- Ed.] 3 - And again we hear the very important question, "Who wears short shorts?" I'm going to add that mantra to MY daily practice ... >> Not Lenny! Alex Foley writes: Richard Gere's comments about wanting to kick Lenny's Ass was humorous considering recent events. Gere made some news lately when he said that we should not attack the Taliban ... rather we should understand them and give them a hug instead. Needless to say this didn't go over too well with a lot of people, particularly in New York. When Gere appeared at the concert for New York he was roundly booed and many people shouted "You Suck!" at him. >> Behind the Scenes Capt. Cocoran writes: As befits a guy who's been with the show from the beginning, Al Jean clearly likes previous-episode references. All the banners for businesses that have appeared in previous episodes; the return of the Hamster from "Duffless." Greg Bair reminds us: I would like to remind you people that this was NOT the first Al Jean episode made. The first will be DABF01, "Brawl in the Family", which has not yet aired. James Gennero: Ok, but it ["She of Little Faith"] was the first one to air. Capt. Cocoran continues: For the first time since season five, George Meyer is not working full-time on the show. Now he's billed as "producer," which this season means someone who is only a part-time staffer (other people who have the new "producer" credit include Mike Reiss and Jon Vitti). Two of the new writers, Josh Lieb and Brian Kelley, are former staff writers for "NewsRadio" (once a forgotten sitcom on NBC, now popular in reruns on A&E). Lieb even got to run that show in its last (and least) season after Phil Hartman died. David Silverman, one of the show's original directors and the animation producer from seasons 3 to 9, has returned to the show starting with this week's episode. >> Yeah, I'm Complaining About This Again Alex Foley complains: Well once again FOX squeezed out the credits when something out of the norm was going on (In this case an alternate version of the theme song). This time it was to promote "24", a show Fox seems to spend 24/7 promoting already. Trust me, there is maybe 1 guy in Idaho who still isn't aware of "24", yet FOX feels we got to hear about it AGAIN. I don't know if this is nationwide or just my local affiliate, but I find this very annoying. Of course this won't change, since this is a practice all the networks like to do, but it still pisses me off all the same. Benjamin Robinson: It used to be that if something special was airing during the credits, Fox would leave them alone. Alas, this no longer appears to be the case. [Since then, Fox has left the credits alone for some jokes. (For example, Homer's "What Do I think of the Pie" song in "Special Edna (EABF02).") I don't know how the network decides this, though. Maybe they have a monkey throw darts, or something? -- Ed.] ============================================================================== > Quotes and Scene Summary {bjr} ============================================================================== % Bart and Lisa pass the time by watching "The Planet From Outer % Space," a science-fiction movie that was either filmed in the 50s, % or by someone with a very acute sense of retro filmmaking. The word % "science" is loosely applied here. When the ship's hull is % breached, "space air" rushes in and gags the astronauts until they % put on goggles which allow them to breathe freely. The captain % lights up a cigarette, then gasps when a "monster from space" % threatens the ship. Bart and Lisa aren't fooled for a second. They % see that the "monster" is really a dog in a harness and fishbowl % "space helmet." % % And now for a word from our sponsor. A man in his late 50s or early % 60 addresses the camera. Colonel: Hi. I'm Colonel Chet Manners, five-time space shuttle alternate. Bart: [offscreen] Loser! Colonel: Would you like to boldly go where people like me but not me have gone before? [holds up a model rocket kit] Then get the Orbit King, with yaw control like you've never seen. [cut back to the Simpsons' TV room] Bart: Hey, Lis, is Dad's credit card number 5784365343410709? Lisa: You know it is. -- Bart Simpson, identity thief, "She of Little Faith" % Six to eight weeks later, Homer is in the bathroom, flossing to the % tune of Devo's "Whip It." When you have a rib-eye steak, You must floss it. Oh, that meatloaf tasted great. You must floss it! Now, floss it! Floss it good! -- Homer Simpson, "She of Little Faith" % Bart walks up with his new model kit, and asks Homer if he wants to % help. He does, so he joins Bart and Milhouse in the back yard and % helps them glue the pieces of rocket together. Milhouse: I didn't know your dad was so interested in science. Homer: Science!? Bart: Uh, he didn't say, "science." He said, "pie pants." Homer: Mmmm, pie pants. -- "She of Little Faith" % The rocket is soon ready to launch, and Homer begins his countdown. % Before he can reach T-0, the rocket explodes. The shock of the % explosion blasts the eyebrows off Milhouse's forehead and onto % Bart's cheeks. % % Undaunted by failure, Homer and the boys try again. Homer duct- % tapes a new rocket to the launch pad. Homer: The word "un-blow-up-able" is thrown around a lot these days, but I think I can say with confidence ... [boom!] Okay, that shows you what could potentially happen. [just then, a model rocket launches from the other side of the backyard fence] What was that? Ned: [looking over the fence] Greetings from Neddidy Space Center on Cape Flandaveral. We noticed your sky-ro-technics and thought we'd join in. [looks up] Ooh, looks like a perfect landing. [the Flanders's rocket not only lands gently, but it lands in its original box and neatly closes the flaps behind it] Milhouse: Wow! Did you see that yaw control? Homer: I have eyes, don't I? -- "She of Little Faith" % This time, Homer calls in the big guns -- the nerds he met when he % attended Springfield University. They assemble an impressive scale % model of the Saturn V moon rocket. Homer: I would really like to thank you nerds for helping me out. Gary: Well, then could you stop calling us nerds? Homer: Dweeb, wonk, spaz -- it's all good. -- "She of Little Faith" % The nerds finish the rocket. For their troubles, Homer shoos them % (Milhouse, too) of his property. % % Just as the real space program sent up chimpanzees as its first % "astronaut," Homer and Bart's rocket will launch an animal into the % skies. There being no chimps handy, the rocket will carry Nibbles % the hamster. The hamster, in a spacesuit, says goodbye to a female % hamster dressed in a tiny copy of Jackie Kennedy's pink outfit. Marge: Oh, he's leaving her with five babies. Bart: She already ate three. Marge: Oh. That's sensible. -- Pity she didn't think of it sooner, "She of Little Faith" % As majestic music plays, the hamster-astronaut rides up the gantry % to the space capsule. Son, we are about the break the surly bonds of gravity, and punch the face of God. -- Homer Simpson, "She of Little Faith" % This time, the launch is perfect (if you forgive Homer counting % down, "five ... four ... three ... two ... one ... countdown!"). % The rocket launches with such force that it stretches the hamster's % features back, exposing his teeth. It traces a graceful white arc % across the blue sky, inspiring one man to give up drinking, and % another man to start. % % The rocket begins to drift off course. Homer tries to radio a set % of complicated directions to Nibbles. The hamster looks briefly at % the control panel, sees the red eject button, and quickly gets a % better idea. He head-butts the button, and ejects to safety. % % The unmanned rocket heads for the church. Homer goes to his backup % plan: He pulls out a shotgun and fires wildly at the rocket. He % misses, and the rocket crashes into the church, ricocheting around % and causing havoc before bouncing out and landing in the front lawn. % The flames and smoke are visible from the Simpsons' back yard. Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done! Homer: You say that so much it's lost all meaning. -- Worst nagging ever, "She of Little Faith" % [End of Act One. Time: 5:42] % % The church council -- Marge, Ned, Kearney, Jasper, Mrs. Skinner, and % the Lovejoys -- convene in the shadow of the ruined church and try % to figure out how to afford the repairs. Marge: Fixing all that damage is going to be very expensive. Lovejoy: Yes, barring some sort of miracle. [looks Heavenward, expectantly. Nothing happens] All right, we'll help ourselves -- yet again. -- "She of Little Faith" % The meeting continues. Lovejoy: People, we need some fund-raising ideas. Marge: Let's just write to David Bowie again. Lovejoy: No, he's done enough for this church. Anyone else? [a sinister chord is heard, and the shadow of a horned being falls across the council. The camera pans to reveal that it's Mr. Burns, with the "horns" being twin cowlicks of hair] Burns: [he smoothes down his hair and approaches the group] I've got the answer. Let me run this church like a business. Ned: It's kind of you to offer, Mr. Burns, but the buzz around town is that you're, well, evil. Burns: Oh, that's just a skip-rope rhyme. Believe me, the Lord's going to go for this in a big way. Now, who's with me? Lovejoy: Oh, I guess we have no choice. Burns: Excellent. [a crucifix falls off the church and smites Burns on the head] [looking up and shakes his fist] Oh, you'll get yours. -- Vengeance is mine, saith the Burns, "She of Little Faith" % Mr. Burns introduces the church council to Lindsey Naegle, the % consultant he has hired to oversee the church's renovation. Naegle: I guarantee I can find some new revenue streams. Step one: Let's sell some ad space. Reverend, how would you feel about wearing this robe? [holds up a robe with "Fatso's Hash House" embroidered on it] Lovejoy: Mmm ... conflicted? Burns: Too bad! You've already signed the deal. Naegle: Actually, he hasn't. Burns: Oh. Well, we highly value your input. [menacing] Until you sign the deal. -- "She of Little Faith" % In spite of Rev. Lovejoy's misgivings, Naegle and Burns continue to % remake the church in their image. Workers carry advertising signs % and a Lard Lad statue inside the church as Bart and Lisa watch. Lisa: What are they doing to the church? Naegle: We're rebranding it. The old church was skewing pious. We prefer a faith-based emporium teeming with impulse buy items. Lisa: I feel like I want to throw up. Naegle: Then my work is done. -- "She of Little Faith" % And three weeks later, Ms. Naegle's work truly is done. I giant % neon statue of Jesus as a lasso-swinging cowboy beckons the faithful % to services. Inside, the faithful behold a multitude of advertising % signs, placards, and billboards. The impulse buy items Lindsey % mentioned are there, too, including an in-house money changer. % ("Get your money changed right here in the temple," says the % vendor.) Bart has his picture taken in a one of those novelty photo % backgrounds where you stick your head through a cutout to make it % appear as though you are somewhere else. In keeping with the church % scene, the background is Da Vinci's "The Last Supper," with the % cutout where Jesus' face would be. Marge insists that Bart do at % least one smiling photo to send to grandma. % % The Simpsons settle into the extra-wide seats, which resemble the % first-class chairs on an airliner. Lisa resolves not to be taken in % by the glitz, but Marge is more concerned that Lisa's on the "God % Cam" Jumbotron. Whoever is running the camera has superimposed % "Pouting Thomas" in Lisa's image. The other parishioners think it's % adorable. % % Rev. Lovejoy is still there, conducting services as he has always % done. Well, maybe not as he has always done them ... Lovejoy: And Lord, please remember our infirm parishioners, especially Mrs. Glick, who's recovering from hip surgery. And now let us rise and, um, umm ... [pull back into a control room. Burns and Naegle look at Lovejoy on a monitor] Naegle: He's not going to say it. Burns: Trust me, he'll say it, or I'll bust him down to Thursday night vespers. Lovejoy: ... and thank Crazy Larry, whose big-screen TV prices are insane-ane-ane! [chuckles weakly] -- "She of Little Faith" % Rev. Lovejoy introduces pizza mascot The Noid, who will deliver a % special sermon on "deliciousness." Lisa: That's it! Homer: [whispering] Quiet, Lisa! Everyone in the store is looking at you. Lisa: They should take a good look at themselves, and what their church has become. [the congregation gasps] Lovejoy: Lisa, it's still the same basic message -- we've just dressed it up a little. Lisa: Like the Whore of Babylon? [the congregation gasps] Lovejoy: That is a false analogy! Lisa: No, it's not. It's apt. Apt! [more gasping] Don't you see what Mr. Burns has done to this church? Mel: He restored it from nave to narthex! CBG: He super-sized the pews for the zaftig believer. Patty: He put ice in the urinals. Lisa: Those are all wonderful things, but they cost the church its soul. I for one will not be a part of it. [gets up and walks out] Usher: Do you want your hand stamped so you can come back in? Lisa: No. I'm leaving this church forever! [leaves and closes the door behind her] Marge: Oh, no! Homer: I don't know how to feel. Marge: You should be very upset. Homer: Got it. [anguished wail] How was that? Marge: A little much. Homer: [softer cry] -- "She of Little Faith" % [End of Act Two. Time: 10:27] % % Lisa says her bedtime prayers. Lisa: Lord, I'm not turning my back on you. I just need to find a temple that's free of corruption. [Marge is hiding on the other side of the bed] Marge: [spectral] Why do you have to be so different? Always making a big deal out of everything? [ghostly moan] Lisa: Mom, I know it's you. I can't believe you're eavesdropping on my prayers. Marge: [Marge sits up] Oh, honey, I'm worried about your soul. I want at least one person from this family to go to Heaven. Lisa: I still believe in God. I just think there's another path to Him -- or Her. Marge: Her?! [holds Lisa and looks up] She's just kidding, Mr. Lord! -- Marge the fundamentalist, "She of Little Faith" % Thus begins Lisa's spiritual quest. She studies a few books of % comparative theology, like "Zagat's Guide to World Religions." Bart % stops by her room. Bart: Still looking for a new faith? Lisa: Yep. Bart: Hey, how about one of those religions where you eat a human heart? Lisa: No. Bart: How about Methodist? Lisa: NO! Look, I'm not just going to pick a religion that seems cool. I'm going to pick one that's right for me. Bart: How about Judaism? When you turn thirteen, cha-ching! Lisa: I'm going out for a walk. -- "She of Little Faith" % Lisa's walk takes her past the temples of many faiths. Finally, she % arrives at Springfield's Buddhist temple. Intrigued, she goes in. % Lenny and Carl are there, meditating. Lisa: Lenny and Carl? You guys are Buddhist? Carl: Oh, yeah. If I didn't have inner peace, I'd go completely psycho on all you guys all the time. Lisa: Well, I'm looking for a new faith, one that isn't so materialistic. Gere: Well, you've come to the right place. Buddhism teaches that suffering is caused by desire. Lisa: [gasps] Richard Gere? Lenny: Ooh! The world's most famous Buddhist. Gere: Well, what about the Dalai Lama? Carl: You know, the fourteen incarnation of the Buddha Avalokesvara. Lenny: Who's Buddha? Gere: It's a good thing Buddha teaches freedom from desire, 'cause I've got the desire to kick your ass. -- "She of Little Faith" % Lisa says she's looking for a religion that will bring her inner % peace, so Mr. Gere gives her a pamphlet that introduces her to the % religion's central teachings. Turning to more earthly concerns, % Carl asks Gere if he really did all those sit-ups in "Officer and a % Gentleman." Nope -- they just looped the film of Gere's one sit-up. % % Back at home, Lisa looks at the Buddhist pamphlet, which explains % that good actions lead to happiness, while evil actions bring on % unhappiness. Instead of emphasizing creator-gods, Buddhism stresses % the search for enlightenment. That's enough for Lisa. She opens % her bedroom window and shouts to the world, "I'm a Buddhist!" Her % yell startles a flock of birds out if its tree. The Flanderses can % hear it next door. Lisa: [offscreen] Hey, I'm a Buddhist! Ned: [gasp] My Satan sense is tingling! Into the root cellar, boys! Todd: When can we come out? Ned: Maybe never. Rodd + Todd: Yay! [they all go to the cellar, closing a heavy steel door behind them] -- "She of Little Faith" % Breakfast time. Homer: So, you think you know better than this family, huh? Well, as long as your in my house, you'll do what I do, and believe what I believe. [the camera pans to reveal that Homer is talking to Bart] So butter your bacon! Bart: Yes, father. [does so] Lisa: Mom, Dad, my spiritual quest is over. Homer: Hold that thought. [to Bart] Bacon up that sausage, boy. Bart: Dad, my heart hurts. [Homer glares at him] Ohh. [wraps a slice of bacon around a sausage link and eats it] Lisa: I'm a Buddhist! Homer: What? That's it -- no more chat rooms for you! -- "She of Little Faith" % Marge tries to bribe Lisa back to Christianity with dessert, but % Lisa has already overcome her desire for treats. % % Lisa's conversion has some fallout at school. Jimbo: Hey, Simpson, I hear your sister dumped Christianity. Bart: Who cares? Dolph: I'll tell you someone who cares. He's got long hair, works as a carpenter, has a lot of crazy ideas about love and brotherhood. Jimbo: His name's Gunnar and he's dating my mom. Sometimes he buys us beer. Bart: I thought Kearney was dating your mom. Kearney: Hey -- *she* came on to *me*. Jimbo: Get him! [the bullies attack Kearney. Bart waits a moment, and then joins in] -- What would Gunnar do? "She of Little Faith" % Lisa plants a small tree in the back yard. Marge: Hey, Lisa, what are you doing? Lisa: I'm planting my own bodhi tree. If I meditate under it, perhaps I can find inner peace. Marge: Honey, is this about some boy at school who doesn't like you? Lisa: No! Marge: Good. I'm just saying that any boy who doesn't like you is not worth your time. Lisa: [begins to meditate] Om mani padme hum. Om mani padme hum. Om mani padme hum. Marge: Oh -- you're going to get a bath tonight. -- "She of Little Faith" % At the church, Burns announces that church revenues are up 1,073% -- % and that he's keeping the money for himself. He tosses a smoke bomb % on the floor, but the smoke clears before Burns can make his escape. % Disgusted, he throws the money on the council's table and leaves. % The council takes up other matters. Lovejoy: Well, next on our agenda: Marge Simpson's devil daughter. Marge: She's not a devil. I just don't know what to do. Ned: Well, Christmas is coming, huh? Lovejoy: Yeah, and Santa doesn't leave presents under the bodhi tree. [winks and taps his nose] Marge: You think we can bribe her back with Christmas? Lovejoy: [holds up a Bible] Marge you can save more souls with roller skates and Easy-Bake ovens than with this two thousand page sleeping pill. -- "She of Little Faith" % And so begins "Operation X-Mas Remind of How Good Is." Marge % dispatches Homer to place a Christmas angel on Lisa's bodhi tree. % At first she doesn't mind, since the angel is tastefully designed -- % but that's before Homer flips a switch that causes it to bark to the % tune of "Jingle Bells." % % Next Marge makes some Christmas cookies to tempt Lisa, and then % tosses them out since Lisa's no longer a Christian. Bart walks into % the kitchen, notices the trash cookies, and wolfs them down right % out of the garbage can. He gags on something and tells Marge, "Uh, % oh, I think I ate a dog food lid." % % Marge tries even harder to get her daughter back into the fold. She % and the family put on their Christmas sweaters, and wait for Lisa to % come down from her room. Marge: Here she comes! And-a one, and-a two, and-a ... Family: [caroling] We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish ... [Lisa enters the room] Marge: Oh, hello, Lisa. Lisa: I just came down for a glass of water. Marge: Oh. Well, you do have a present under the tree. I guess no one told Santa you were a Buddhist. Lisa: Well, Santa can take it back, because I'm not ruled by material desi-- [gasps] Is that a pony?! [she indicates what looks like a pony wrapped in paper. Only the muzzle is exposed] Homer: I don't know what Santa left you. I just know his name is Clip-Clop and he loves sugar. [feeds a few cubes to the present] Marge: Lisa, we love you and we're not trying to put any pressure on you. [nudges Maggie to Lisa with her foot. Maggie toddles over and offers Lisa a candy cane] Lisa: Aww ... [she takes the cane, then sees Rev. Lovejoy peeking through the living-room window] Lovejoy: Lick it. Lick it! Lisa: No! [runs out of the room] Marge: Oh, no! Our daughter's run away on Christmas Eve! [the present's wrapping paper tears open. It's Ralph in the front half of a horse costume] Ralph: More sugar, please. Homer: Bag's in the kitchen. Milhouse: [bursts out of the present's hindquarters] All right! [runs into the kitchen] -- "She of Little Faith" % Lisa runs to the Buddhist temple. Lenny, Carl, and Richard Gere are % there. Lisa: My family tried to trick me into celebrating Christmas! Gere: You know, we are meditating. [points to a "Meditation in Progress" sign] Lisa: Oh, sorry. Gere: Oh, that's all right. I was only about to achieve enlightenment, but who'd want that? Lenny: [trancelike] Who likes short shorts? Carl: [trancelike] I like short shorts. Gere: Those guys are way off. -- "She of Little Faith" % Mr. Gere helps Lisa make peace (inner and outer) with her family. Gere: Anyway, Lisa, your family didn't have to trick you. Buddhists respect the diversity of other religions, as long as they're based on love and compassion. Lisa: [incredulous] Wha? Gere: It's true. So why don't you go home? I'm sure your family really misses you. Lisa: I can really celebrate Christmas? Gere: You can celebrate any holiday. And, you know, my birthday is August 31st. Lisa: Oh, I'll send you an e-mail greeting card. Gere: Sweet. -- "She of Little Faith" % So Lisa heads back to her family. Mr. Gere will be spending % Christmas with Hannah, his daughter, and the two will be doing each % other's hair. Lenny and Carl will spend the day with Moe, to keep % him from "accidentally" killing himself. (Carl, thinking ahead, has % already taken Moe's noose.) % % The Simpsons search for Lisa. Sort of. Homer: [carrying Santa's Little Helper] I did it! I found our dog! Now our Christmas is complete. Marge: We were looking for Lisa. Bart: I thought we were caroling. -- "She of Little Faith" % Marge gives up and decides to call the police. As she reaches for % the phone, she notices Lisa sleeping under the Christmas tree. Marge: You came back! Lisa: Yeah, I wanted to spend Christmas with you guys. Homer: So you're back on the winning team? Lisa: No, I'm still Buddhist, but I can worship with my family, too. Marge: So you're just going to pay lip service to our church? Lisa: Uh-huh. Homer: That's all I ever asked. -- He of few demands, "She of Little Faith" % Marge promises she'll pray double hard to cover for Lisa. She and % Lisa go to the kitchen for some Christmas cookies. On the way, Lisa % asks about her pony. Marge tries extra hard to change the subject. % % [End of Act Three. Time: 20:17] % % We hear the closing theme, interpreted in a mystic Far Eastern % style. (Unless you're in the United States, in which case we hear % teasers for a new episode of "24.") The Gracie Sound is the normal % "Shhh!" ============================================================================== > Contributors ============================================================================== {af} Alex Foley {ah} Aaron Hirshberg {bj} Bucky Jones {bjr} Benjamin Robinson {cl} Chad Lehman {ddg} Don Del Grande {dj} Darrel Jones {ew} Elson West {gb} Greg Bair {jc} Jeff Cross {jk} Joe Klemm {mg} Matt Garvey {rs} Roger Smith {sx} Steven X {tpl} T P Laing {tr2} Tom Restivo {vf} Vic Fear ============================================================================== > Legal Mumbo Jumbo ============================================================================== This episode capsule is Copyright 2004 Benjamin Robinson. It is not to be redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current maintainer (capsules@snpp.com). All quoted material and episode summaries remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. All other contributions remain the properties of their respective authors. The Quote and Scene Summary itself is Copyright 2004 Benjamin Robinson. This capsule has been brought to you by Naegle Promotions, Inc. This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie, Frederic Briere, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are today.