Tennis the Menace Written by Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Jen Kamerman ============================================================================== Production code: CABF07 Original Airdate on FOX: 11-Feb-2001 Capsule revision A (02-Aug-03) ============================================================================== > "TV Guide" Synopsis ============================================================================== [TV Guide] The Simpsons win points for their new tennis court, but constantly lose on Homer's poor play. Serena and Venus Williams, Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi have voice cameos. [TV Guide Advertisement] Homer is pictured in a tennis outfit (who would have ever thought?) being struck by a tennis ball saying "Game, Set, D'oh!". Looking on is four tennis greats; "Special Guest Stars: Andrew Agassi, Pete Sampras & The William Sisters". ============================================================================== > Title sequence ============================================================================== Blackboard: I WILL NOT PUBLISH THE PRINCIPAL'S CREDIT REPORT {ddg} Couch: The Simpsons' living room looks like it normally does, but there's one big difference -- the floor is now a flat sheet of ice. The family, sensibly dressed in winter clothes, skates to the couch and sits down. Homer's section of the couch falls through the ice shortly after he takes his seat. ============================================================================== > Did You Notice... ============================================================================== Don Del Grande: ... Homer has forgotten what Foxy Boxing is since "Lisa on Ice"? ... the Simpsons all use wooden rackets -- but everybody else has a metal one? ... whenever Homer and Marge play, the ball never seems to hit the ground except at the end of a point? ... either the Simpson backyard is at least 78 feet wide, or the tennis court isn't as long as it's supposed to be? ... Maggie's baggie is white in the breakfast scene? ... Helen Lovejoy doesn't sound like she used to? ... when Pete Sampras first appeared, there was applause (as if the show's studio audience was applauding a guest star)? Joe Green: ... "Darling Wally" and "Darling Irving's" last names aren't on their tombstones? ... Kent Brockman and Stephanie the Weather Girl are apparently back together? John Jensen: ... Bart plays tennis left-handed? Darrel Jones: ... the seniors doing denture tricks, as mentioned in the Guide to Springfield? Joe Klemm: ... the Simpson's tennis court is either clay or hard? (Gophers would probably burrow through a grass court?) ... the mounted head of a unicorn in Homer's nightmare? Steven Miles: ... the basketball court Homer displays on the TV is NBA-style, or at least has an NBA-style three-point line? Mike Reed: ... the animation and color in this episode was very different than usual? [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.] Benjamin Robinson: ... Lisa and Bart don't practice tennis correctly? (The ball is supposed to bounce once before you hit it.) ... waiting for the next game, as Homer and Marge play Barney and Moe, are Krusty, Sideshow Mel, and the Lovejoys? ... Mrs. Lovejoy says something, and Marcia Mitzman-Gaven's name is in the credits? (Oh, goody, now we can hear people whine about how *her* voice is wrong now!) ============================================================================== > Voice Credits ============================================================================== - Starring - Dan Castellaneta (Abe, Homer, News Director [?], Rook [?], King, Mel, Krusty) - Julie Kavner (Marge) - Nancy Cartwright (Bart) - Yeardley Smith (Lisa) - Hank Azaria (Yiddisha Guy, Director, Carl, Wiggum, Lou, Moe) - Harry Shearer (Comedian, Jasper, Ned, Lenny, Kent, Burns, Smithers, Hibbert) - Special Guest Voices - Andre Agassi (Himself) - Pet Sampras (Himself) - Marcia Wallace (Edna Krabappel) - Serena Williams (Venus Williams's sister) - Venus Williams (Serena Williams's sister) - Also Starring - Marcia Mitzman-Gaven (Mrs. Lovejoy) - Pamela Hayden (Weeping Widow) - Tress MacNeille (Stephanie) - Karl Wiedergott (Pawn [?]) ============================================================================== > Movie (and other) references ============================================================================== + "Dennis the Menace" (comic strip) - episode title a spoof + "What's New, Pussycat?" (song) {jg2} - Grampa sings this song by Tom Jones at the talent show + "Tales from the Crypt" (comic book and TV show) - someone at the funeral home was inspired by this when making up the "Sales from the Crypt" promotional banner + "Dead Man's Curve" (song) {bjr} - Bart mentions this while playing in the casket + Chinese Wall urban legend {hl} - the undertaker saying the mausoleum can be seen from outer space is a reference to the urban legend that the Great Wall of China can be seen by astronauts in space + Lollapalooza (concert series) {bjr} - deluxe crypt called the "Mauso-Palooza" ~ "Fibber McGee and Molly" (radio (and later, TV) series) {bjr} - Homer refers to God as "Killy McGee" + "Dorf on Golf" (comedy video) {jg2} - Homer lists Dorf as one of the "clowns" every sport has + Ku Klux Klan (racist organization) {zc} - tennis tournament called Krusty Kharity Klassic (i.e., KKK) + Andre the Giant (wrestler) {jg2} - the wrestler that Homer confuses Agassi for ============================================================================== > Previous episode references ============================================================================== - Sports-themed episodes on "The Simpsons" {sbn} - [7G11] Life on the Fast Lane (Marge & bowling) - [7F05] Dancin' Homer (Homer as baseball mascot) - [7F08] Dead Putting Society (Bart & miniature golf) - [8F07] Saturdays of Thunder (Bart & soap box racing) - [8F12] Lisa the Greek (Lisa predicts football games) - [8F13] Homer at the Bat (Homer & Softball, with sports guest stars) - [2F05] Lisa on Ice (Bart & Lisa & hockey) - [3F10] Team Homer (Homer & bowling) - [4F03] The Homer They Fall (Homer & boxing) - [5F03] Bart Star (Bart & football, Homer as coach) - [5F16] King of the Hill (Homer & mountain climbing -- maybe not a sport, but lots of training and sports-related humor) - [AABF08] Sunday, Cruddy Sunday (Super Bowl episode, with sports guest stars) - [BABF02] Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder (Homer & Bowling) - [BABF09] Saddlesore Galactica (Homer & Bart & Horse Racing) - [CABF07] Tennis the Menace (Entire Family & Tennis) - [7F09] When Marge is cataloging the violence in the I&S cartoons, one of the items on her list is "gophers buried alive." {px} - [9F16] Grampa wins an award {jg2} - [2F05] Foxy boxing {jg2} - [2F05] Homer mentions foxy boxing {ddg} - [2F13] Bart fools with the water, causing Homer's shower water to alternate between hot and cold {dj} - [3F07], [3G03] Krusty hosts event with unfortunate initials of KKK {cl} - [3G03] Krusty Kharity (cf. Komedy) Klassic {jg2} - [4F20] Grampa complains, "You buried me naked and sold my suit to buy a Ping-Pong table." {mg} - [5F09] Homer insults people in a moving vehicle, only to have them screech to a halt {jg2} - [BABF20] Homer has points out an uneasy plot change {mr2} ============================================================================== > Freeze frame fun ============================================================================== - Act card at the talent show {bjr} THE AMAZING PLATE-SPINNER - Banner at the funeral home {bjr} SALES FROM THE CRYPT - Labels on the anti-stink sprays {bjr} COUNTRY Mrs. STANK MOURN Rotwell's OFF! - Sign at the fancy cemetery {bjr} COURT of HONOR - Inscriptions on the tombstones {bjr} Darling Dearest Wally Irving - Label of deluxe crypt {bjr} MAUSO-PALOOZA - Homer's autographed picture {bjr} TO HOMER, DINGBAT CHARLIE ============================================================================== > Animation, continuity, and other goofs ============================================================================== = At the beginning of the episode, when Bart is filling SLH's bowl, the bowl is in the sink, and the sink has only one sink! Then the bowl magically disappears, and there are two sinks! [That is, it's divided into two parts -- Ed.] But this is from a family whose toaster doubles as a time machine, so what did you expect! {ah} = The shot of the basketball game on the tombstone is flipped when it is shown to Homer and Abe. {jk} * If it [the tennis court] were cement, why would the gophers' heads cause a bulge? [Jeremy Bleichman proposes, "Rubber cement?" -- Ed.] {sa} * Homer missed the part in the tennis court book he was reading about the net being six inches lower in the center (30 inches high) than at the sides (36 inches). {ddg} * When the Simpsons were playing Kent Brockman, Kent hit the ball to Homer who swung and missed, and the ball continued past him and landed out of bounds. This should not have been a point for Kent, but that shot won the game for him. {zh} = Mr. Burns' racket changes color from silver to brown. {ddg} c When Wiggum is calling the score, he says 15-LOVE, but the captions read 40-LOVE {jj} - Also, the picture above Homer and Marge's bed had both Bart and Lisa in it, but when Homer woke up from his dream, it was just Bart. [Bart also has a sinister look on his face, so Homer must have just been imagining things," ventures Stephen Houchen -- Ed.] {bf} * Why were Homer and Lisa allowed to play? Only Marge and Bart were invited to the tournament. {ddg} ============================================================================== > Reviews ============================================================================== Don Del Grande: This episode wasn't even funny enough to deserve a "it just stood there on the screen" comment. The guest stars didn't even get in any good lines. (B-) Joe Green: An enjoyable effort with a particularly funny first act. (It's also the first time I've ever liked a new OFF episode better than the same night's "Futurama", but I digress ...) I also thought the ending was pretty weak, however. (B+) Darrel Jones: Started out as a timid, bland episode appropriate for Simpsons fans recovering from surgery. But I liked it better when the third act turned deliciously wacky. Overall, about par for the run. Overall, a 7/10 (C+) Troy J. Matthews: Watching tennis is about boring as watching paint dry! Only the Simpsons could make watching tennis a laugh riot. The guest stars last night were lacking something -- perhaps acting, otherwise a pretty good episode: (A-) Michael Nusair: Okay, I'll admit it: I like bad puns. So I'm somewhat ashamed to admit that I laughed harder at Krusty's "Racket Earing" joke than I did at anything else all season. And I thought that the episode surrounding this joke was pretty good, too. It had some jokes that fizzled, but more good than bad. I didn't really like the stuff at the funeral home, but fortunately, that didn't go on too long. The plot was pretty good, and nothing seemed seriously off. So, as it stands, this certainly wasn't a perfect episode, but it was probably one of the better ones this season. (B+) Alex Parrish: Another disappointment. [...] Basing an entire episode around the premise of installing a tennis court? What happened to the enthralling, deep-rooted plots of yesteryear? [...] Every single "joke" in this episode is about tennis and vicious competition which you don't expect from a series of this magnitude. I've always frowned on people who complain that the characters are taken to extremes that defeat purpose of a family-oriented comedy, but this episode's depiction of O.F.F. was just insulting. Are we supposed to believe that a small tennis court in somebody's back garden is going to draw attention from half the town? And are the writers trying to suggest that O.F.F. can be torn apart by idle gossip and petty sports? Oh, and whoever played Helen Lovejoy; away with you- never return. Euch. What a pile of garbage. (F) Mike Reed: I don't know, I've got mixed feelings about this one. On one hand, it had a lot of great laughs (the Kent Brockman scene stands out in my mind) but Homer's jealousy of Bart was very awkward. A mixed effort, to be sure, but still another above (current) average episode for season 12. (B) Robin Steinmann: Another promising episode ruined by pointless guest star appearance that ate up the time for a convincing and proper ending. This whole episode was quite promising it parts, and could have become a new "Lisa on Ice", I even like some of the meta-jokes this time (the sudden jump from tomb to tennis and "Lisa the Shrink"), but they choose celebrity over quality once again. Another problem was that they couldn't create a really coherent plotline, it rather seemed to jump from one block of scenes to the next block, with the change from the problem of who the family is viewed by other people to a conflict within the people as a slightly disturbing, but not *the* episode-wrecking moment. They still could have saved it, but no, as long as big names are more tempting than a good story, they won't get higher marks than (C+) Yours Truly: I assumed this would be another one of those episodes where Homer does something impulsive, and Marge spends the rest of the show scolding him for it. Instead, the show defied, and exceeded, most of my expectations. Homer is sympathetically portrayed as someone who tries to please his wife but falls short, and I liked how Marge and Homer are on the same side -- at least to start. The family's shifting alliances later in the show held my interest for the second half, and the brief celebrity cameos were pretty funny. The opening act was kind of strange, though -- I wish the writers would fix their problems, rather than just pointing them out. On the whole, this was a surprisingly good show. (B+) AVERAGE GRADE: B (2.85) Std Dev.: 0.9515 (14 reviews computed) ============================================================================== > Comments and other observations ============================================================================== >> Musical References Alex S. Woods: Homer was whistling "The Lassie Theme" in the shower. Stephen Houchen adds: Then he yelled out "Mary Had a Little Lamb." Joe Green: Bart makes Homer scream Beethoven's fifth symphony. >> Meta-Reference Corner Benjamin Robinson: After abruptly shifting gears and getting the tennis court, Homer says, "Bet you didn't see that coming." Of course, the people in the audience who saw the commercials for the show knew exactly what was coming ... Homer calls Bart a "younger, more in-your-face" version of himself. This is a bit of a stretch, but a common debate among "Simpsons" fans is whether Homer as gotten too "in-your-face" and aggressive. (Nobody argues he's getting younger, however.) Don Del Grande: Homer says "You're a girl!" to Bart (presumably referring to Nancy Cartwright being Bart's voice). >> An Animated Discussion For its first twelve years on the air, "The Simpsons" had been (with the exception of "Radioactive Man (2F07)") drawn and colored entirely by hand. Elsewhere in the animation universe, production houses were turning to computers to take over the laborious coloring process. It became more and more inefficient for the "Simpsons" animators to work with animation houses in Asia, where the bulk of the show's routine animation was done, so the producers decided to switch to the new method. As an experiment, they decided to use "Tennis the Menace" as a trial run in computer-assisted coloration, to see what where any problems might lie, and if anyone in the audience would notice the difference. They did. Matt Veino: Did anyone else notice that the colors or something looked different with the episode tonight? I noticed it in the opening sequence, the colors looked deeper and richer, I thought it looked good ... but, is it just me that noticed something different? Or am I just crazy? (perhaps someone fiddled with my color setup on my TV, hee hee) "rickem21": I noticed that as well. Looked like they used a lighter tone for the characters. It did look much improved so hopefully they'll stay with it. Chris Pfeiler: Is it true that they use computers now for the animation? I remember that Nancy Cartwright wrote in her book that the show will continue to be 100% hand-painted but some of the current scenes (like the helicopter scene in "Days of Wine and Doh´ses") look IMHO rather computerized. Maybe it's just me but I think that the new animation with its rounded shapes and more and stronger colors looks sometimes a little too sterile and unfamiliar. Chris Zabel: You're not the only one. The colors didn't seem muted at all, much brighter than usual. Aaron Hirshberg: No more cheap yellow trash. And, Homer's five o'clock shadow went from being gray to being just a line on his face. Chris Palm: I strongly believe this episode was computer generated, a la "Radioactive Man". Unfortunately, I thought it was the best animation the show's had in quite some time. It's unfortunate, because it was still pretty bad. I've noticed that there seems to be two completely different looks to the show these days, with Homer being the key to the differences: his head is either much too skinny (CABF07, CABF03) or he's much too ... sinister/mean looking. For example, just look at him in the preview for "Day Of The Jackanapes". That's not Homer at all. Mike Reed: I thought the colors were much brighter and pastier than normal. So far season 12 has had great colorization, IMHO. It seems like the colors were deeper and richer in say ... CABF03 or BABF22 than here, where it had a more season 11ish feel to it. Maybe this was a season 11 episode that just ended up in season 12 .... [The remaining season 12 episodes were colored "normally." The producers made the switch to computer-colored animation in season 13, with a minimum of fuss from the newsgroup -- Ed.] >> Sports Clowns Joe Klemm: John Rocker is a pitcher for the Atlanta Braves. He received much controversy in the 1999 and 2000 seasons when he made racial comments about residents of New York City, the home of the Yankees, the team that beat the Braves in the 1999 World Series. Benjamin Robinson adds: When Rocker returned to play a game in New York, the security at the ballpark had to be doubled. He goes on to write about Homer's other sports clowns: O. J. Simpson probably doesn't need much explanation. Simpson had a distinguished football career and won the Heisman trophy, but will forever be infamous as the accused killer of his ex-wife and her boyfriend. After his football career, but before the double murders, Simpson had cameos in the "Naked Gun" series of police-spoof movies. This might have been what Homer was thinking of when he put O. J. on the list. Dorf is the only figure Homer mentions that most people would consider even remotely funny. He was a character created by Tim Conway of "The Carol Burnett Show" fame. For the Dorf act, Conway would stand in a specially- built hole on the set and wear a pair of shoes on his knees, giving the appearance of a man with no shins. (Think of Cotton Hill, only without the ornery attitude.) Hilarity ensued. Dorf was allegedly a consummate sportsman, and had a series of videos with titles like "Dorf on Golf," where he'd give "helpful" tips on the topic at hand. >> "That's the guy! That's the guy from my dream!" Joe Klemm: Oedipus, as Lisa points out, is a character from a Greek play that killed his father and married his mother. However, when he finds out about what he did, he then punctured his own eyes and went blind. This character is the origin of the term "Oedipus Complex", in which a son falls in love with his mother. Tim Dowling adds: An Oedipus complex refers to a boy's sexual love for his mother and hostility for his father. >> "Oh, that's just fluid collecting" Nobody (literally -- that's how this guy signed his post) asked: Hey can anyone explain to me the joke about Mr. Burns' big hand? Smithers asks, "Where did you get that novelty hand sir?" Burns answers, "This? Oh its, just fluid collecting." Then he shakes his hand up and down as it goes back to normal. Does that really happen to old people? Big Hungry Joe answers: If you have poor circulation or a bad lymphatic system or something, fluid can collect in various places in your body. This usually happens most noticeably in the lower limbs -- it's called edema. [Andrew R notes that, "you don't have to be old to get it" -- Ed] >> Splitting hairs Wayne Gerard: This was a joke on the William's sisters. I think it's Venus Williams, who has the world record for fastest serve for Women. Her serve was along the lines of 120+ mph. The Williams sisters are generally known for their extremely fast serves. Marge's hair splitting was a joke on this. >> "I'm Andre Agassi" Rich Bunnell writes: That was his only line. They called him into the studio to say "I'm Andre Agassi." It wasn't even funny, like Joyce Brothers' "I brought my own mike!" [Which, actually, the producers wanted to get rid of, but that would have given Dr. Brothers no lines at all -- Ed.] Just goes to show how gratuitous and lame all of the celeb guest appearances have become ... Dan Hinojosa notes: He also said "Yoink". Paul Bedoret: Well, maybe they were busy writing the script for the Williams sisters. >> Coming Attractions Mike Reed faithfully transcribes: I: Voiceover: Get ready for extreme tennis when the Simpsons take on Pete Sampras, Andre Agassi, Venus, and Serena Williams! Homer: It's in the bag! (gets hit in the crotch with the ball, then Homer's pants fly onto Marge's hair during the last voice-over) II: Voiceover: Get ready for extreme tennis when the Simpsons take on Pete Sampras, Andre Agassi, Venus, and Serena Williams! Serena: You're ditching your daughter? That's awful! Homer: (to Venus) You seem less disgusted, let's go. ============================================================================== > Quotes and Scene Summary {bjr} ============================================================================== % [Note: This quote and screen summary taken from the syndicated % version.] % % Sometimes, entertainment is where you find it. Bart discovers this % one morning while doing the seemingly mundane chore of filling the % dog's water dish. When he turns one faucet, the cold water pressure % in Homer's shower drops and the hot water scalds him. When Bart % turns the other faucet, the hot water in the shower goes away and % Homer is doused with a cold stream. Each time, he yelps briefly. % Bart quickly discovers that by twisting the faucets the right way, % he can "play" various tunes with his father's yelling. He starts % with "Mary Had a Little Lamb" before Marge orders him to quit % fooling around and get washed up for the old folks' talent show. % "With pleasure," Bart says, and starts "playing" Beethoven's 5th % Symphony on the faucets. % % The talent show at the Retirement Castle is pretty much what you'd % expect -- various oldsters doing little performance acts. We drop % in on a hip old comedian. Comedian: Ever notice after dialysis, you get ... the munchies! [audience laughs] Jasper: He's saying the stuff we all forgot! Comedian: You know what I can't open? Cabinets! [laughter from the audience] Abe: Can he say that? Comedian: You know what else scares me? Everything. [more laughs] -- Jerry Seinfeld, c. 2040, "Tennis the Menace" % Next up is Jasper, who performs a plate-spinning act with a twist. % Instead of dinner plates, he uses dental (denture) plates instead. % The tense act has Homer on the edge of his seat. % % The final act of the day is Abe Simpson. Abe: [singing] What's new pussycat? Owww-ow-ow-ow-ow! What's new pussycat? Oh, God, no-o-o! [audience claps] Yiddisha Guy: Wasn't he great, folks? Now all the contestants are going to receive extra servings of honey mush. [applause] But there can only be one winner and, uh, since Abe's already standing here, what the heck. [hands Abe a certificate] Abe: [reads] Wow! A free auto! Yiddisha Guy: Keep reading. Abe: [moves his thumb, revealing he has won a "Free Autopsy"] Oh. -- Yippee! "Tennis the Menace" % Homer and Abe go right to the funeral home to claim the big prize. % They meet with the funeral director. Director: [examines coupon] Well, this autopsy coupon appears to be valid. What other funerary services can we provide for the pre-deceased? Homer: Oh, the whole deal! Coffin, tombstone, anti-stink spray ... Director: Sir, we prefer the term "casket" to "coffin," and "monument" to "tombstone." We have all the leading brands of anti-stink spray. -- A rose by any other name ... "Tennis the Menace" % Bart amuses himself in one of the coffins -- excuse me -- caskets, % pretending it's a race car. Bart: [making "vroom, vroom" noises] He's heading into Dead Man's Curve! [makes a hard left, which nudges the casket lid. It slams shut, trapping Bart inside. We hear muffled screams as he tries to get out] Director: [chuckles] Oh, the living. Well, fortunately, this model features the Cadaver-Cam. [turns on a small TV embedded in a monument. We see Bart clawing at the lid of the casket] Abe: [laughs] Look at him go. Homer: That thing got picture-in-picture? Director: Of course. This is the Contempo. [demonstrates by switching channels to a basketball game. The picture of Bart shrinks to the upper right-hand corner] Homer: Aw, geez. How come they never call traveling anymore? -- "Tennis the Menace" % Of course, once you have your coffin, you need a place to bury it. % The directory shows Homer and Abe around the cemetery. (Bart % catches up a few seconds later.) In a deluxe area, the caskets are % buried in fresh, unused graves, the monuments clean themselves, and % the residents' survivors can avail themselves of an optional weeping % widow service. If they do, a woman in a funeral dress stops by to % wail for the deceased. % % Abe wants this to be his final resting place. Homer seems % reluctant, but the funeral director intimates that God likes people % who get a fancy send-off. Abe threatens Homer with a good haunting % if Homer nickels-and-dimes Abe out of Heaven, and provides his son % with a sample. Homer relents, and the group moves to the funeral % director's office. Director: [using an adding machine] Okay, with mole insurance, your total comes to $17,000. Homer: What? Oh ... Director: Or you could just toss him in the woods and let the wolves carry him off. It's really up to you. [turns his back to Homer and Abe] Homer: Mr. Salesman? Director: [obsequious] Yesss? Homer: We're gonna go with the wolves. [a pair of wolves gather by the director's window, growling] Abe: Beat it! [shakes his fist at them, and the wolves slink off] Homer: Dad, I love you this much. [extends his arms] But that's just under 900 dollars. I wish I could go 17,000 but hmm? Hmm? [indicates his arms don't stretch farther] Director: Sir, if I may, think of it as an investment in extravagance. The Mauso-Palooza can be seen from space. It will consume as much space as a regulation-size tennis court. Homer: Tennis court, eh? -- A germ of an idea, "Tennis the Menace" % Smash cut to the Simpsons' back yard, where workers are installing a % regulation-size tennis court. Abe: Aw, I can't believe we went through all that just to wind up with a tennis court. Homer: I'll bet you didn't see that coming. -- You would if you were a "Simpsons" viewer, "Tennis the Menace" % Abe accuses Homer of not caring what happens to him after he dies. % Homer denies this and tells his father if it were up to him, Abe % wouldn't die at all. "But try telling that to Killy McGee up % there," Homer says, pointing skyward. % % Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa practice volleying a tennis ball to one % another. Homer: What on Earth are you doing? Lisa: Practicing tennis. Homer: *That's* tennis? Oh, then what's the one where the chicks whale on each other? Bart: Foxy boxing? Homer: Yes! That's what I wanted. [anguished moan] -- Be careful what you wish for, "Tennis the Menace" % [End of Act One. Time: 5:06] % % Homer adjusts the net so that it's nice and springy. It's so % springy that when Santa's Little Helper runs into it, he's bounced % back several yards. The Simpsons are ready to play. Marge: You know, a tennis court can really make your house look classy. And it's going to do wonders for our social life. Homer: Yeah, it'd be nice to entertain friends and have people over. [Ned Flanders approaches the fence between his yard and the Simpsons'] Ned: Hey, you got a tennis court? Homer: Keep walking, Flanders. Ned: Will do. [walks away] Homer: Faster. -- "Tennis the Menace" % Carl and Lenny, on the other hand, pass muster with Homer. They % play doubles with Marge and Homer, and win when Homer misses a % return. Lenny: We win again. [high-fives Carl] [they walk over to a nice buffet table that Marge has arranged] Homer: Hey, this was a lot of fun, guys. Lenny: Yeah, we never knew nobody with their own tennis rink. Carl: So, what happens now? Is the food free, or do we pay someone? Lenny: [kicks Carl's ankle] Course not! They send you a bill. Carl: Well, that's why I asked. [kicks Carl] That's how you learn, by asking, you dumbass! -- "Tennis the Menace" % Later, Homer and Marge play Kent Brockman and Stephanie the Weather % Girl. Homer's mind is more on the attractive Stephanie than the % ball, and the Simpsons lose another game. Kent: That's game, set, and match to us. But the real winners here are Marge's hors d'oeuvres. [eats one] Homer: Wow, how do you come up with such witty remarks? [close-up of Kent, showing that he wears the kind of earpiece that lets him talk with his news director. Cut to a news van in front of the Simpsons' house] News Dir.: [to his assistant] C'mon, c'mon, hurry up. [the assistant types something, and hands it to the director] [reads paper] I guess you could say, it's my racquet. [cut to the Simpsons' tennis court] Kent: I guess you could say, I'm Iraqi. Homer: [gasps] Get off my property. -- Communication breakdown, "Tennis the Menace" % Bart finishes telling Homer about the school's ban on hats just as % the doorbell rings. It's Chief Wiggum and Lou. Marge: Chief Wiggum! Are you here to make a bust of some kind? Wiggum: No, we're just, uh, checking. To make sure you're having a crime-free morning. Heh. Marge: As far as I know. Lou: Hey, you know what'd be a real crime? Wiggum: What's that, Lou? Lou: Lettin' that tennis court go to waste. Marge: Would you boys like to play tennis? [camera pulls back to reveal that while Wiggum and Lou are wearing their cop shirts, they have on their tennis pants. Also, instead of guns, they are carrying tennis racquets in their holsters] Hold on; we'll be right out. Wiggum: Let's roll, Lou. [walks into the house. Lou follows, and both men discard the rest of their police uniforms to reveal the tennis attire underneath] [Wiggum starts humming, then stops] Take it, Lou. Lou: [continues humming where Wiggum left off] -- "Tennis the Menace" % Marge tries to close the front door, but someone wedges a racquet in % at the last minute. It's Mr. Burns and his lackey Smithers. Burns: Well, hello, Marge. Lovely day for tennis, eh? Marge: I thought you had your own court. Smithers: He did, but he had it converted to a human chess board. [cut to stately Burns manor] Pawn: Hey, Burns has been gone for a while. Rook: Let's make a run for it. [they run off] King: Come back, fools. Protect me! [a couple of opposing pieces run over and starts beating him] -- "Tennis the Menace" % At the tennis court, Homer plays the jester. He "surfs the net" by % balancing on top of it. And he helps the Simpsons lose another % match. Marge chides him to take the game more seriously, but Homer % compares himself with other lovable sports clowns, like John Rocker, % O. J. Simpson, and Dorf. % % Moe serves up an easy lob. Homer tries catching it in his pants. % He succeeds, but probably wishes he hadn't -- a tennis ball in the % groin really smarts. The rest of the guests share a laugh, but % Marge grumbles. % % Later, Chief Wiggum and Lou meet at the supermarket. Lou: Hey, Chief, we're going to bust up that crack house tonight. Wiggum: We did that last night. Lou: Yeah, but this time we got the right address. Uh, you coming? Wiggum: I'd love to, Lou, but I'm playing tennis at the Simpsons' again. [pan to the next aisle, where Marge is overhearing the conversation. Maggie grabs hold of her ears] Marge: Ooh, Maggie, are your ears burning? Lou: The Simpsons? You mean the L. A. Clippers of backyard tennis? Wiggum: [laughs] Yeah. They're easier to beat than a suspect in shackles. Lou: Pretty easy to beat a suspect in shackles, Chief. Wiggum: Well, that's the joke, Lou. It's on the Simpsons and their easy beatability. [they both laugh] Marge: [gasps] Mrs. Lovejoy: [walks up to Lou and Wiggum] I think they enjoy being humiliated. Mel: [joins in] I don't know what's sadder about the Simpsons, the fact that we mock them, or that they shall never know. Marge: Ohh ... Mel: Never, ever, ever. Ever. [Marge gasps, and walks away] -- Ever. "Tennis the Menace" % Marge tells Homer that instead of bringing them respect, the tennis % court is making them the laughingstock of the town. Homer is % willing to accept at least partial responsibility, and Marge makes % him promise to try to improve his game. % % The next day, Homer makes good on his pledge, and practices with an % automatic serving machine. Marge advises him to follow through with % his swing. She probably should have stressed the importance of % keeping a good grip on the racquet, for on his next swing Homer % accidentally pitches the racquet into the machine. It explodes, % sending balls flying in all directions. % % At that very moment, Dr. Hibbert operates on a patient on the lawn % of Springfield General. "This is such a beautiful day," he says. % "I don't know why we don't operate outside more often." As if in % response, a tennis ball lands in the unlucky patient, causing him to % flatline. % % Later, Homer comes home bearing a flyer. He finds Marge in the back % yard, vacuuming (!) the tennis court. Homer: Good news, honey. I found a way to prove to the town we're not losers. I've entered us in a doubles tournament. Marge: [stops vacuuming] What!? We're not ready to compete. Homer: Don't worry, the tournament's not 'till tomorrow. [picks up a racquet and a ball] Okay, get ready for the serve. [tries to serve the ball, but he hooks his own pants, and flips them onto Marge's hair] Marge: Aghh! Get 'em off! Get 'em off! Homer: How embarrassing. -- "Tennis the Menace" % Homer gives his racquet to Bart and tells the boy to take over for % him. Then, he goes inside for a nice beer. % % Later, Homer (with beer) and Lisa are sitting at the kitchen table. % Marge walks in. Homer: I'll be right out, honey. Marge: Oh, that's okay. Bart's doing fine. You just have another beer. Homer: Now that's the kind of nagging I can live with. [to Lisa] So Barney's like, "you're on your own, dude," and I'm like, "Not even" -- Lisa: I don't know what this has to do with the civil war. Homer: I'm getting to that. -- "Tennis the Menace" % Marge and Bart continue practicing. Their play is confident, almost % intense. Homer wanders into the back yard as the two volley the % ball back and forth. Homer: Looking good, honey! I think you and I just might win this tournament dealy. [Marge ignores him and continues playing. Homer walks to Bart's side of the tennis rink] Hey, Bart! Yeah, you got your daddy's hustle. [Bart ignores him too] Too busy to reply, huh? I know how that goes. Well, I think I'll go lay out my clothes for the tournament. -- "Tennis the Menace" % Homer carefully lays out a set of tennis whites on the bed. On % tournament day, however, he gets a surprise. Homer: [walking downstairs] I'm ready for the big tournament. [sees Bart at the foot of the stairs. He's wearing a tennis outfit] Hey, there son. Bart: Oh, hey there, Dad. Homer: [chuckles] With that little outfit on, everyone's going to think you're in the tournament. Bart: I am playing in the tournament. Homer: It's going to be tough without a partner. Bart: I've got a partner. Homer: Well, good for you. Anyone I know? Bart: Yeah, you know her. [Marge comes down the stairs] Marge: Oh, hello, Homer. Homer: Good morning, partner. Marge: Um, there's something I should tell you. Homer: The name of Bart's partner? I'm all ears. Marge: Well, actually, the name of Bart's partner ... is, um ... Homer: Yes, darling. Marge: I'm Bart's partner. Homer: [panicky] No. No, no, no. You're my partner. Bart: Dude, I think the lady's made her decision. Marge: I'm sorry, Homey. We'll talk about it later, okay? Homer: No-o-o! [falls to the floor, and grabs Marge's socks. The little pom-pom things from the socks come off in his hands, but Marge keeps walking. She and Bart leave in the station wagon. Homer runs after them] Traitors! [throws the pom-poms at the car, and they break the rear window. Homer runs back into the house and peeks through the living-room window] I don't think they saw me. -- The tennis world's Pete Best, "Tennis the Menace" % [End of Act Two. Time: 12:49] % % Marge and Bart have won the tournament -- but victory comes with a % price. Homer, still sulking about the last-minute switch, whittles % the handle of his tennis racquet to a sharp point. When his wife % and son come home, he gives the pair a chilly welcome. Homer: Hello, Marge. Hello, Bart. How are the tennis partners? Marge: Oh, Homer, I'm sorry to hurt your feelings. [hugs Homer] Homer: [pushing her away] Don't touch me. Your hands feel like salad tongs. Marge: I just wanted to win for once. Please don't take it as a threat to your manhood. Homer: [gasps] My manhood! I never thought of that! Bart: We were good, Dad. They asked us to play in the Krusty Klassic. Marge: It's for charity. It benefits victims of balcony collapse. Bart: We can wipe out BC in our lifetime. Homer: I don't care about BC. I care about M. E. -- My Enjoyment! [runs away, crying] -- They wiped that out in an afternoon, "Tennis the Menace" % To deal with his feelings, Homer pays a visit to the family % psychologist: Lisa. Homer: It's obvious what's happening. I'm being replaced by a younger, more in-your-face version of me. Lisa: Dad, you're just going through a classic Oedipal anxiety. You remember the story of Oedipus, don't you? Homer: Well, maybe five bucks would refresh my memory. Lisa: [sighs] Oedipus killed his father and married his mother. Homer: Eugh! Who pays for that wedding? Lisa: I'm just saying you feel threatened by Bart, but it's all in your head. Homer: You're right. But just to be safe, maybe I should chain him up. Lisa: Dad, I think you're overreacting. Homer: I think you're under-reacting. Lisa: This session's over. Homer: This session's under. Lisa: Good-bye! [leaves] Homer: Bad-bye! -- Over and out, "Tennis the Menace" -- Under and in, "Tennis the Menace" % That night, Homer has a nightmare. Homer: [talking in his sleep] No, no! Stay away from my wife, Bart. [cut to the dream itself. Bart, in a smoking jacket, entertains Marge, wearing an evening gown. They sit in a baronial parlor with a fireplace. Hunting and tennis trophies line the walls] Marge: Darling, you're so much handsomer than my first husband. Bart: I may have the looks, but he's the trophy husband. [laughs and walks over to Homer's head, stuffed and mounted on the wall like a prize buck] He thought that trip to the guillotine factory was just for fun -- but it was the perfect place to shoot him. [Homer wakes up screaming] Homer: That's they guy! [points to Bart's picture] That's the guy from my dream. Go ahead and smile, smart guy. I'm going to mop you up like turkey gravy. -- "Tennis the Menace" % Homer enlists Lisa as his new partner, although she's reluctant to % play just to spite her mother. For practice, Homer set up a couple % of devilish-looking cardboard cut-outs of Marge and Bart on the % other side of the court. He makes Lisa serve to one of these, and % she knocks it over with the ball. Just then, Marge and Bart walk % into the backyard. Marge: Lisa! Did you make that awful effigy? Homer: Hey, leave my teammate alone. Bart: Lisa's your teammate? [laughs] Lisa: What's so funny? I'm better than you. Marge: Now Lisa, you know that's not true. Lisa: How would you know? Your backhand looks like a rusty gate. Marge: Why you little ... come on, Bart. [they leave] Homer: Babies! -- Is the Williams family like this? "Tennis the Menace" % The family angrily eats dinner. Bart: Telegram for Lisa Simpson. [mimes opening an envelope] Homer: [to Lisa] Don't listen! It's a trick. Bart: Dear Lisa: Psych! Psych, psych, psych. Signed, Super- psych. Homer: [to Lisa] I think he's trying to psych you out. Marge: Look, we're all trying to have dinner. So why don't we just -- psych, psych, psych! -- "Tennis the Menace" % Krusty's charity tournament gets underway. Three pairs of ball boys % each try to retrieve a ball at the center of the court. Each pair % runs in from either side, and each set collides in the middle, % knocking one another out. % % In the stands, Smithers admires Mr. Burns's giant novelty hand, but % it turns out to be his actual hand. "Fluid collecting" Burns calmly % explains. % % Krusty bounds to the center of the court, wearing a pair of tennis % racquets as earrings. He addresses the crowd. Krusty: Hey, hey! What do you think, folks? I hope I don't get arrested for racquet-earring! [light laughter from the audience] Ay, what do you want? I'm not going to do "A" material for charity. [takes the racquets off and throws them to the ground] -- "Tennis the Menace" % Outside, Homer and Lisa try to trash-talk Marge and Bart. They % lose, and Homer gets worried about their prospects in the % tournament. % % Krusty introduces Venus and Serena Williams, who are in the % audience, as "two of the tennis world's most unbeatable players." % The "unbeatable" part appeals to Homer, and he climbs up through the % crowd to where the Williams sisters are sitting. Serena: What are you doing? Venus: That's our Dad's seat. Homer: Hey, great. Listen, I need a new doubles partner. My little girl's a lead weight. Serena: You're dumping your own daughter? Homer: Yeah, but only to crush my wife and son. Serena: That's horrible! Venus: Yeah, that's pretty low. Homer: Hmm. You seem less disgusted. Let's go. [grabs Venus by the hand and pulls her toward the court] -- "Tennis the Menace" % Krusty announces the players for the next match: Marge and Bart % Simpson, versus Homer and ... Venus Simpson. Lisa: Venus Simpson? You're replacing me? Homer: Now, Lisa, "dumping" is such a harsh word. Let's just say I'm replacing you. -- "Tennis the Menace" % Harsh as it is, the substitution is strategically a good move. % Venus's powerful serve split's Marge's beehive in two, making her % look a bit like Sheba from "Life in Hell." Marge protests to Chief % Wiggum, who is the line judge. Marge: Once again, I'm outraged by this last-minute switch. Wiggum: We all got problems. I dropped my cookie. [points to a cookie sitting by Wiggum's elevated chair. A ball boy tries to pick it up, and Wiggum points a revolver at him] You sure you want to risk it? Marge: It's totally unfair for one side to have a professional player. Wiggum: All right, all right. You guys can have Serena. [cut to Serena, in the stands] Serena: Ugh. I just ate a personal pizza. [gets up] [cut back to the court] Bart: Aw, you're dumping me? Marge: Honey, I'll make it up to you in bottle rockets. -- "Tennis the Menace" % Venus plays well, especially with Homer "coaching" her. Marge % misses a return shot, prompting Serena to replace her with Pete % Sampras. Homer: [laughs triumphantly] Everybody's been dumped but me. I'm undumpable! [a hand reaches from off-screen and grabs Homer's racquet] Andre: Yoink! Homer: My tennis stick! [turns to face Andre] Who are you? Andre: I'm Andre Agassi. Homer: The wrestler? -- "Tennis the Menace" % Venus shoos Homer off the court. Pete urges the others to start % playing, since he's scheduled to make a Ho-Ho's commercial later. % The Simpson family watches their doppelgangers play from the % sidelines. Homer: Which one am I? Serena or Venus? Bart: You're Andre. I'm Serena. Homer: Ha, ha, ha -- you're a girl. Marge: Why don't we stop this nonsense? I'm not mad anymore. Lisa: Me, neither. I'm just enjoying some world-class tennis. Homer: You know, there's a lesson here for all of us: It's better to watch stuff than to do stuff. Bart: A-men. Marge: After the tournament, let's go out for a nice family dinner. Homer: [chuckles] Courtesy of Pete Sampras. [holds up a wallet] [a ball bounces in from off-screen and hits Homer] [guiltily] Sorry. [puts the wallet back, but not before taking a few bills out of it, and putting them in his shirt pocket. Homer looks pleased with himself] Sucker. -- "Tennis the Menace" % [End of Act Three. Time: 20:08] % % Normal closing credits and Gracie Sound. ============================================================================== > Contributors ============================================================================== {ah} Aaron Hirshberg {bf} Bill F {bjr} Benjamin Robinson {cl} Chad Lehmann {ddg} Don Del Grande {dj} Darrel Jones {hl} Haynes Lee {jg2} Joe Green {jj} John Jensen {jk} Joe Klemm {mg} Matt Garvey {mr2} Mike Reed {px} Preston X {sa} Steve Alpert {sbn} Shi_Bao Nai {zc} Ze_Do Caixao {zh} Zan Hecht ============================================================================== > Legal Mumbo Jumbo ============================================================================== This episode capsule is Copyright 2003 Benjamin Robinson. It is not to be redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current maintainer (capsules@snpp.com). All quoted material and episode summaries remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. All other contributions remain the properties of their respective authors. The Quote and Scene Summary itself is Copyright 2003 Benjamin Robinson. This capsule has been brought to you by the Springfield Amateur Tennis Players Association. This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie, Frederic Briere, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are today.