Homer's Enemy                                     Written by John Swartzwelder
                                                       Directed by Jim Reardon
==============================================================================
Production code: 4F19                      Original Airdate on FOX: 4-May-1997
Capsule revision D (26-Feb-2000)
==============================================================================
> "TV Guide" Synopsis
==============================================================================
   None submitted.

   [If you use these summaries to determine if you found the right capsule,
   here's a TV Guide-like synopsis:  A fastidious new employee at the plant
   doesn't get along with Homer, who is anxious to make amends.  Meanwhile,
   Bart comes into the possession of an abandoned factory.  -- Ed.]

==============================================================================
> Title sequence
==============================================================================
Couch:          OFF run to the couch and sit, but Bart is glowing green. Homer
                fiddles with the TV, switching him to red.  Then he slaps him
                behind the head, giving him back his normal yellow color.
                Recycled from [4F04]

==============================================================================
> Did You Notice...
==============================================================================

Dave Choe:
   ... Frank Grimes wiping his hand on his pants before shaking someone's hand
       at the plant?
   ... Homer eating Frank's lunch at 10:35 am?
   ... either the acid is extremely strong, or the quality of the wall sucks?
       (which isn't a stretch, considering this is SNPP?)
   ... Homer poses like the "Mr. Good Employee" poster behind him for a brief
       moment?
   ... only Frank and Smithers wear their ID badges?
   ... Smithers approving of the Malibu Stacey power plant?
   ... Sarah Wiggum isn't sitting with the Chief during the contest
       presentation?

Patrick J. Crooks:
   ... Burns claims he is a self made man?
   ... there is another Marge in Springfield?  (Maybe she's Married to Homer
       Glumplich)
   ... Smithers seems a bit reluctant to hire Frank Grimes as Executive Vice
       President?
   ... Homer really does eat like a duck?
   ... the picture of Lenny says "Homer have a great summer?
   ... Mrs. Wiggum is in the audience at the contest?
   ... even Lovejoy laughs at Homer's comment?

Don Del Grande:
   ... Lenny and Carl claim to have Masters degrees?
   ... Mr. Largo, Jasper, and Mr. Prince were at the auction?
   ... after Frank says he and Homer are enemies and Homer says "Do I have to
       do anything?", Frank's eyes start twitching?
   ... not only does Homer call Maggie "other kid", he doesn't introduce her
       to Frank by name?
   ... Lisa's IQ must be 156, since Lisa didn't correct Homer when he made the
       statement?
   ... apparently, Frank couldn't afford a TV or newspapers, because he
       doesn't know the story of "average-naut" Homer which made national
       news?
   ... after Frank leaves, Maggie covers her eyes?
   ... Homer's workstation now looks out over windows, and the "de-
       motivational plaque" from 2F10 is missing?
   ... the coffee machine at the abandoned factory still works?
   ... this is the first episode where Frank Welker appears but doesn't have
       any major animal roles?  [It does have the dog cameo in Burns' office,
       though -- Ed.]
   ... Bart and Lisa are at the funeral of a man they didn't really know very
       well and only met once?

Kerry Gutknecht:
   ... Combustible material is kept in a silo?
   ... Grimes is given a name badge even before he is hired?
   ... The calendar on the wall of Grimes' office depicts two nuclear cooling
       towers?
   ... Homer doesn't have his degree in nuclear physics from 1F02?
   ... Maggie "sucks" hello when introduced to Grimes?
   ... In Homer's Smashing Pumpkins photo, Jimmy Chamberlain's eyes are bugged
       out making him look high?

Jason Hancock:
   ... the ears of corn _and_ one of Grimes' shoes flying as a result of the
       explosion?
   ... the rotary phone in Grimes' hospital room?
   ... Mr. Burns' TV has rabbit ears and a loop antenna?
   ... apparently, the state Springfield is in allows personalized license
       plates with eight letters?  (Most states limit them to six or seven.)
   ... Homer wears his watch on his right arm?
   ... Homer knows about Bart's factory?
   ... the football trophies behind Homer and Gerald Ford in the picture?
   ... one of those trophies represents the University of Michigan, Ford's
       alma mater?
   ... Ralph's and Martin's mothers are in the audience at the show?

Joe Klemm:
   ... the part of the opening where the car nearly hits Homer ends early?
   ... the softball sign-up sheet on the bulletin board?
   ... Homer has a picture of Lenny is his work area?
   ... the only one not laughing at Homer at the funeral is the dog?

Haynes Lee:
   ... corn husks in the silo explosion?

Jonathan Pierce:
   ... no one is irritated when Homer is in dreamland during the funeral?
       Even Marge is laughing.

Benjamin Robinson:
   ... Smithers' resentful look when Burns wants to make Grimes an executive
       vice president?
   ... for the dinner, Marge prepared five lobsters (i.e., the writers
       remembered to exclude Lisa)?
   ... despite his short tenure at the plant, Grimes already has a reserved
       parking spot?
   ... even the vice-presidential dog attends the funeral?

Liam J. Scanlan:
   ... the couch opening started before Homer opened the door?
   ... Homer isn't wearing his striped tie to work?
   ... the up-arrow on the accident chart, indicating accidents are more than
       the chart can display?
   ... the "reserved" signs in the parking lot reveal Lenny has no last name?
   ... Moe's is on Industrial Way?
   ... the guy who always punches people in the crowd at SNPP contest?
   ... Lisa says 11 words in the whole episode?  (shortest role yet)

Javier Vera:
   ... Marge can afford a personalized license plate?  (They are really
       expensive)
   ... working in a factory with no salary is better than working at the
       cracker factory?

==============================================================================
> Voice Credits
==============================================================================
- Starring
   - Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Barney)
   - Julie Kavner (Marge)
   - Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Ralph)
   - Yeardley Smith (Lisa)
   - Hank Azaria (Carl, Frank Grimes, DMV Clerk, Auctioneer, Moe, Chief
        Wiggum)
   - Harry Shearer (Kent Brockman, Mr. Burns, Smithers, Lenny, Reverend
        Lovejoy)

- Special Guest Voice
   - Frank Welker (Executive Vice-President)

- Also Starring
   - Pamela Hayden (Milhouse)
   - Russi Taylor (Martin)

==============================================================================
> Movie (and other) references
==============================================================================
   + "The Odd Couple" (movie and TV series)  {ddg}
      - the perennial neat vs. sloppy battle

   - "Falling Down" (movie)  {al}
      - the Frank Grimes character looks a little like the mad engineer from
        this movie
      - both characters also go on insane rampages

   - "Pure Luck" (movie)  {pe}
      - "Frank Grimes" the name of one of the bad guys from this movie

   - "Seinfeld" (TV series)  {av}
      - Homer eating the donuts with cutlery is like the trend in an episode,
        where Elaine was watching her boss eating a candy bar with a knife and
        fork

   + "Late Night with David Letterman" (TV series)  {hl}
      - Bart in the office chair propelling himself with fire extinguisher is
        the famous Letterman rocket-chair stunt
      - [Others claimed this was referencing Conan O'Brien.  Maybe, but
        Letterman did it first and thus gets the reference -- Ed.]

   - "Blade Runner" (movie)  {rj}
      - Martin's power plant looks like the Tyrell corporation's headquarters
        (or at least most of it anyway)

   ~ "Modern Times" (movie)  {cj}
      - Charlie Chaplin's character once waddled around the factory in the
        very same maniacal way Frank Grimes did

==============================================================================
> Previous episode references
==============================================================================
- HOMER'S ACHIEVEMENTS  {hl}
   - [9F21] Won Grammy with B-Sharps
   - [1F13] Went into outer space
   - [3F09] Met Gerald Ford
   - [3F21] Met Smashing Pumpkins at Lollapalooza

- FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND  {mss}
   - [7G01] Uncle Hubert
   - [7F17] Bea Simmons
   - [9F11] Great-aunt Gladys
   - [2F32] Bleeding Gums Murphy
   - [3F12] Krusty the Klown

- [7F20] Simpson house referred to as "Casa de Simpson"  {ljs}
- [8F04] Plant almost gets destroyed  {pjc}
- [8F09] Lenny's speech about "That's why pencils have erasers" is identical
         to his take on the Germans  {rv}
- [8F13] Power plant softball team  {pjc}
- [8F13] ball game song sung  {hl}
- [8F15] Homer overlooking Maggie  {ljs}
- [8F16] Homer cursing while working  {hl}
- [9F05], [1F07] SNPP gets a new employee  {mss}
- [9F09] "Bed goes up, bed goes down..." (cf. "chair goes round, chair goes
         round...")  {bjr}
- [1F17] Diorama competition similar to nuclear power contest  {hl}
- [2F09] Someone else in Springfield has the same name as a member of OFF
         {pjc}
- [2F11] Springfield residents are called "Springfieldianites"  {mss}
- [3F12] An auction is held  {ljs}
- [3F12] Krusty funeral similar to Grimes'  {hl}
- [3F17] Homer purposely pouring liquid on console  {hl}
- [3F17] Homer has spinning chairs at his work station  {mss}
- [3F17] Bart does something an adult would normally do (with disastrous
         results)  {mss}
- [3F20] Homer acting "by-the-book" at being an ideal employee similar to Apu
         trying to be American  {dsb}
- [3F24] Homer's anxious fidgeting/dancing  {dga}
- [3G03] A character is introduced and killed off in a single episode  {mss}
- [4F03] Bart pays a measly one-digit dollar amount for something at least in
         the two-digit price range  {mss}
- [4F04] Milhouse mentions his dad's ill fortunes  {bjr}
- [4F07], [4F13] Someone's eye twitches, indicating stress  {bjr}
- [4F10] The guy who always people working at SNPP  {ljs}
- [4F10] The guy who always punches people [sometimes called Mr. Big Nose --
         Ed.] working at SNPP  {ljs}
- [4F12] Bart's little winking thing similar to Roy's  {dsb}
- [4F17] A Simpson child and factory management  {mss}

==============================================================================
> Freeze frame fun
==============================================================================
- Model contest poster  {bjr}

        CHILDREN'S
      MODEL-BUILDING
      -- CONTEST

      [kid holding a 
    model power plant]

     KIDS!
     DESIGN YOUR OWN
       POWER PLANT!

  (This poster appears through most of the first two acts, and it always
   retains the same wording and format.  Nice continuity checking, 
   there.)

- Homer's photos  {bjr}

       [Homer with arm           [Homer drinking with
     over Ford's shoulder]       the Smashing Pumpkins]

       [Homer and Barney         [Homer in space with
     receiving award from a         the potato chips]
    heavyset mustachioed man]

- Parking lot signs  {bjr}

    RESERVED FOR      RESERVED FOR
       LENNY          FRANK GRIMES

==============================================================================
> Animation, continuity, and other goofs
==============================================================================
+  There has never been an office right by Homer's console.  {pjc}

=  When Homer spills the cup of personalized pencils, some of the pencils fall
   on the lamp.  {ljs}

+  Homer DID go to college in 1F02.  {jv}

+  Homer did not join SNPP straight after high school.  SNPP did open when
   Homer graduated in [7F12] but he did not work there until Bart was born in
   [8F10].  {hl}

=  There were about 7 pencils the first time, but when Homer was biting them,
   there were more than 15.  {jv}

+  Homer seems to have removed his tie for no reason at work.  The same thing
   applies to his badge, as well.  {pjc}

*  It's really hard to break a pencil with only one hand as Frank did, and he
   broke 2!  Give it a try, it's not easy.  {jv}

=  Homer's watch only appears for the 5:13 scene.  {pjc}

=  Frank's diploma is hung on a side of the office in the first shots, but in
   a later scene is besides Frank's door.  {jv}

+  The research lab has never been by the employee lounge.  {pjc}

=  The acid hole in the wall changes size and shape [that is, it gets smaller,
   rather than larger -- Ed.].  {ljs}

=  The box of doughnuts read "DONUTS" at first, but it became "DONUT" after
   Grimes threw the acid at the wall.  {jh}

=  Homer pulls his Grammy out of nowhere, and it disappears when he's done
   with it.  {pjc}

+  Grimes says he lives between two bowling alleys, yet at the beginning when
   he receives his degree, he lives in a normal house.  {ljs}

*  Who took Homer's picture when he was in space, especially in the middle of
   the potato chips fiasco?  {sjo}

+  Despite the reference, there's no mansion across the street.  {mss}

=  Bart tears off two of the three safety signs from the "wacky shack," then
   the third one disappears.  {dc}

=  Homer appears to pull that beer from nowhere.  {pjc}

=  There are no beer stains on Homer even though we see the beer spill.  {pjc}

+  Frank isn't the first person to detect a correlation between Homer's
   presence and an increase in accidents; Smithers did the same thing in 7F02.
   {ddg}

+  Accidents have not doubled since Homer became safety inspector, according
   to the chart on the wall.  {el}

+  The basement door is not by the kitchen.  [Or is it?  I'm not sure of this
   one -- Ed.]  {pjc}

=  Milhouse appeared bald after he explained to Bart how the warehouse
   collapsed.  {rb}

*  While angrily imitating Homer, Frank Grimes shouts "D'oh!" three times, yet
   Homer never said "D'oh" in Grimes' presence.  {el}

=  The electric wires -- or the "Danger" sign above them -- have never been
   seen before in Homer's office.  {pjc}

=  During the funeral our OFF is sitting in the second row but when Homer asks
   Marge to change the channel they appear to be in the front row.  {pjc}

=  During the funeral OFF is in the second row but when Homer asks Marge to
   change the channel they appear to be in the front.  {pjc}

*  Who lowers the casket?  {pjc}

==============================================================================
> Reviews
==============================================================================
Dale G. Abersold:  The character of Frank Grimes provides some humor (and some
   head- scratching) in what seems (until the final minutes, that is) to be a
   lackluster episode.  Some excellent dark humor (the darkest this season),
   along with good characterization, and a funny subplot (with great
   Bart/Milhouse interaction) make this one a solid  (B)

Joseph J. Barder:  What was this?!?  Did a writer of the show lose a raise or
   something?  It's like someone heard the complaints of sappy endings in the
   past, and started making endings where the good people die or somehow
   ruining things.  The entire episode was ruined by Grime's injustices.  I
   mean, I know this isn't Masterpiece Theatre, but come on!  The only good
   scene was when Homer was showing Grimes his pictures.  (D-)

Jennifer M. Blaske:  Somehow I liked this episode, at least relative to other
   shows this season.  I particularly enjoyed the use of a subplot, although
   the resolution to it was kind of odd.  The ending was certainly startling
   (which is not necessarily a bad thing) and seemed to be making a very dark,
   as well as accurate, point.  (B)

Rich Bunnell:  Oh, WOW!  This episode ruled so much!  The subplot was done
   nicely, as it didn't take over the show, but was just a nice deviation from
   the regular plot.  As for the Frank Grimes bit, that was funny too, the
   main plot actually being better than the subplot!  The crazy rampage at the
   end was hilarious, but was almost ruined by Grimes' death- however, that
   was relieved by Homer snoring at the funeral!  LOL!  (A+)

Jesse Burgheimer:  I really enjoy these lower-key Simpson eps.  They seem to
   offer more laughs without having to appeal to a wider audience.  That's
   what made 4F19 so good -- there wasn't anything to hide.  It was just good
   comedy with some dumb moral.  Frank Grimes' obsessive behavior with Homer
   had began with nothing, and ultimately ended with nothing.  Likewise with
   Bart's purchase of 139 Industrial Way.  [Actually, 35 Industrial Way --
   Ed.]  That's the beloved irony that is "The Simpsons."  Isn't it great?
   (B+)

Vince Chan:  "What the Hell was that?"  This episode has got to be one of the
   worst episode ever made this season.  The episode went downhill starting
   from the first second shown.  The subplot, however, did brighten up the
   episode a bit.  It seems like the subplots are better than the main plots
   this season.  Frank Grimes for some reason, didn't look like your average
   Simpsons character.  He was drawn kind of differently.  The writers have
   got to come up with better material than this.  "I could pull a better
   cartoon outta my..."  (D)

Dave Choe:  Can't say I didn't like it.  There were several slow moments, but
   still a solid main plot.  The portrayal of Homer's antithesis, Frank
   Grimes, was right on the money.  Check out Frank's hand motions, especially
   in OFF's home.  I didn't catch the connection of the two plots until I
   realized the "easy come" nature of both Bart's new factory and Homer's
   entire life(the life portrayed in this episode, anyway).  The dark ending
   improved what would have been just an average episode.  (B)

Don Del Grande:  This was a pretty funny episode despite the fact that there
   were no real "rolling on the floor laughing" lines.  The subplot had some
   potential as well, but it didn't really go anywhere before its sudden
   ending.  (B+)

Jonathan S. Haas:  Does anyone continue to deny that the Simpsons are going
   downhill? I didn't laugh the entire episode, although I caught several
   failed gags. More of the "Homer as too stupid to live" schtick.  A subplot
   that was pointless and unfunny.  Boring appearances of Ralph Wiggum and
   Martin Prince.  At least the season is almost over.  (D)

M. J. Hurka:  Oh boy.  This was one DARK episode, huh?  Not that that's a bad
   thing. In fact I really liked it.  Sometimes I get so sick of happy
   endings, I'm glad when the Simpsons gives a dark, cynical, somewhat
   provocative episode.  Personally,  I think Grimes was out of line.  Just
   because he had a sucky life is no reason to go off on Homer.  Besides Homer
   was really trying hard to make Grimey like him, but Grimes couldn't see
   past his own misfortunes.  Anyway, a good funny episode.  (A)

Ryan Johnson:  Another disaster.  They made Homer *way* to dumb this time.  He
   used to be charmingly naive, but it's been taken to a level where it's no
   longer funny =P Where's the social commentary?  Where's the intelligent,
   relevant plotline?  Just a couple of questions this raised ... Bart's
   factory was mildly amusing (and sadly the highlight of the episode for me).
   (D+)

Margaret Jones:  I didn't really like "Homer's Enemy."  Aside from a couple of
   gags, this episode was just not funny for me.  There is nothing amusing,
   IMHO, about constantly picking on a guy who has had as many tough breaks as
   Grimes did. His death added insult to injury.  What have the writers come
   to?  (D)

Joe Klemm:  Tonight's episode was original.  The idea of Homer entering the
   children's design your own power plant was clever, especially Ralph's power
   plant design and his presentation of it.  It had me ROTFL.  However, having
   not enough media references that I can get caused it to get a low rating.
   (B)

Haynes Lee:  One of the most dislikable characters and one the most abrupt
   endings.  Even the funny Bart sub-plot could not save this one.  The worst
   this season.  Yech.  (D)

Ondre Lombard:  I've never said this about any episode, because my opinions
   usually change on them.  But this was by far the worst episode in the
   history of The Simpsons.  I don't think any other program will be able to
   top this one. Homer's irresponsibleness is glaring, and the story focuses
   too much on Homer's lack of professionalism, making him very unlikable.
   Frank, on the other hand, had many a good point, and got a raw deal
   throughout the entire thing.  I actually felt sorry for him, instead of
   Homer.  Our hero is sleeping through Frank's funeral, and cracking an
   inappropriate joke during it.  And everyone LAUGHS at it.  This is perhaps
   the single most tasteless, cruel, cold-blooded moment in OFF's history.
   The Bart/Milhouse/factory subplot was pointless and unfunny, as well.
   Let's hope this one is played few times in syndication, and buried as a
   "Lost Episode."  [Yes Ondre, but how do you REALLY feel? -- Ed.]  (F)

Sean J. O'Neal:  Self-referential humor at its finest; John Swartzwelder did a
   fantastic job on an episode that, in my opinion, is a definite classic, and
   the funniest episode of the season so far.  I don't know about the rest of
   you, but I sorta like the way the episodes this season have tried to take
   the show apart, stepping back and really examining its world and its
   characters, like with Flanders in "Hurricane Neddy" and Reverend Lovejoy in
   "In Marge We Trust."  My only complaint: the subplot of Bart owning a
   factory felt tacked-on, and Lisa had what, two or three lines?  But still,
   Grimes was a great character, and the oh-so-sitcom scene at the end was a
   perfect counterpoint to the way Fox "promoted" this episode (see below.)
   (A+)

Abhi Ray:  This episode was superb!  As always, Swartzwelder did an excellent
   job with a clever story, dialogue, and gags.  The vice-president dog was
   absurd, but hilarious.  The scene with Frank Grimes being growled at by the
   dog was well-done.  Still, this episode would have been treated better if
   it had been placed in Season 4 or 5.  I also thought Grimey could have
   planned a more elaborate and wicked scheme.  Otherwise, this episode
   satisfied my expectations.  (A+)

Donni Saphire-Bernstein:  Several times this season, the Simpsons have taken
   an idea that seemed really stupid and made it into an excellent show- i.e.,
   Lisa's date with destiny or A Milhouse Divided.  Tonight's episode broke
   the streak.  This was a stupid idea AND was badly done.  Frank Grimes
   stayed predictably within his "hard working Joe vs. lazy slug" frame.  The
   ending, while unexpected, didn't solve anything.  Having said that, there
   were some funny lines.  Burns getting that dog for his vice president,
   Homer's nuclear plant model ("I added fins for wind resistance and this
   racing stripe to make it look sharp"), and Bart's factory were all welcome
   comic relief.  Yet this episode's plot was nothing more than a lazy sketch
   of an idea.  (C+)

Aaron Varhola:  John Swartzwelder lives up to his reputation ... as the most
   erratic Simpsons writer.  Two weeks after the very good "The Old Man and
   the Lisa", this airs....  Black comedy is very hard to write without it
   going overboard in mean-spiritedness; a death only fits well if it is 1.)
   someone who "deserves" to die, and 2.)  that person dies in an ironic
   manner, as in the movie "Heathers".  There's some potential when Homer
   invites Grimes to dinner, but the rest of the episode is wasted, including
   a throwaway sub-plot.  (D-)

Yours Truly:  It's a shame Frank Grimes won't be coming back anytime soon.
   The put-upon, humorless employee would have made a good recurring
   character.  As it is, he's great as the focal point of Homer's hilarious
   attempts at friendship.  This parable about the dangers of jealousy, with
   its darkly comical ending, gets its point across without bopping the viewer
   over the head.  A subplot involving Bart's purchase of a factor is
   surprisingly good.  (A)

AVERAGE GRADE:  B- (2.51)   Std Dev.: 1.3531   (29 reviews computed)

==============================================================================
> Comments and other observations
==============================================================================
>> Forget getting new writers -- get a new ad agency!

Sean J. O'Neal comments on Fox's promotion of this episode:  The Fox promotion
   of this episode was perhaps THE most heinous ever; no wonder the viewing
   public seems to doubt that "The Simpsons" is a sophisticated sitcom.
   Promising "The NEW Odd Couple" (yeah THAT tagline's only been used about a
   bajillion times), the ads for "Homer's Enemy" featured a scene with Homer
   eating in the breakroom and some dubbed-in dialogue of Frank Grimes saying
   "He eats like a pig!", followed by canned laughter, followed by Homer
   saying "I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard that!" followed by
   MORE canned laughter.  You know, if I didn't know better I would have
   assumed that "The Simpsons" was a cartoon "Married...with Children" (and
   even that horrid show gets good promotion.) Why oh why must Fox continue to
   hide this show by making it look so damn generic?  Then again, I suppose
   asking a network that continues to run "World's Funniest Fill-in-Cute-Thing
   Outtakes" every weekend to grow up and start treating "The Simpsons" with
   some respect is too much to ask.


Haynes Lee also didn't like the promotion, but for the opposite reason:  The
   Fox commercials for this episode played the episode like the Odd Couple
   such as the Homer/Oscar and Skinner/Felix combo in [1F19].  It was hardly
   like the show :(


>> The real Frank Grimes

Haynes Lee notes:  Frank Grimes is also a little known actor in movies such as
   "Waiting To Exhale".  Another Frank Grimes is an accountant [who] while on
   a train ride to Chicago in 1926, conceived of the idea of an alliance of
   independent grocers and IGA was born.  I have a feeling Frank Grimes, like
   Elvis Presley, will be sighted in many shopping malls in his afterlife.


>> Acid can't hurt you ...

... at least not in the cartoon world, as Michael Morse thinks:  In "Krusty
   Gets Kancelled," Sideshow Luke Perry got launched through Apu's stack of
   bottles of acid and shouted, "My face!" but when he landed in the mattress
   factory, his face was fine.

   In "Radioactive Man," Rainier Wolfcastle is swept away in a wave of acid
   and shouts, "The goggles--they do nothing!  My eyes!" but is fine the next
   time we see him.  For that, matter, why would Nigel be so stupid as to even
   use real acid to begin with unless it was safe?

   Therefore:  I believe that even if in "Homer's Enemy" Carl Grimes hadn't
   prevented Homer from drinking the acid, Homer would still have been okay.

   [Kids, don't try this at home! -- Ed.]


>> I am so smart!  S-M-R-T!

Benjamin Robinson:  At the dinner attempt to get on Grimes' good side, Homer
   introduces Lisa as having an IQ of 156.  There are two scales (that I know
   of) for measuring IQ.  On what I think is the more commonly used one, an IQ
   of 140 is considered genius level.  So, this confirms what most of us
   already knew:  Lisa is really, really smart.  (Also, you need an IQ of 157
   or greater not to give away $12 million.)  Interestingly, in "Bart the
   Genius (7G02)" Martin scored about 216, which would put him ahead of Lisa
   for the title of Springfield Elementary's smartest student.


Andrew Gill adds:  For what it's worth, I recently took an IQ test (well,
   actually, I'm still in the process of taking it in 1-hour installments),
   and the scale only went up to 155.  So, perhaps we can assume that the
   writers meant that Lisa was untestable.


Brad Bizzolt adds:  I've always heard that 130+ was considered "gifted," and
   150+ "genius," but I don't know who makes this stuff up.  While IQ scores
   are neat purely as an ego booster (worked for me... I'm an insufferable
   elitist ever since being tested!), I certainly don't like to hang mine
   around my neck publicly; how can one measure something as abstract as
   intelligence (or, the potential for intelligence)?  An IQ is the measure of
   one's ability to take an IQ test.  It really isn't anything beyond that but
   an abstract number, with possible uses for educational placement purposes.


Benjamin Robinson, again:  There is more than one IQ test, and each one draws
   the boundaries between the Lisas and the Barts of this world differently.
   Mensa (an club, essentially, for smart people) produces a FAQ explaining
   how well you have to do on various tests to qualify.  The qualifying scores
   for IQ tests are:

   California Test of Mental Maturity                          IQ 132
   (California) Test of Cognitive Skills                       IQ 132
   Cattell                                                     IQ 148
   Stanford Binet, Form L-M                                    IQ 132
   Wechler Adult and Children Scales
   (WAIS and WAIS-R, WISC and WISC-R)                          IQ 130
   Otis-Lennon Tests                                           IQ 132
   Otis-Gamma Test                                             IQ 131

   Mensa goes on to say, "the term 'IQ score' is used as a convenient, easily
   understood reference.  Candidates for membership in  Mensa must achieve a
   score at or above the 98th percentile  on a standard test of  intelligence.
   The 'IQ Score' varies from test to test, as shown by the list above."

   As you can see by the table, Lisa is easily above the 98th percentile, no
   matter which scale is used.  See you at the Mensa meeting, Lis.


>> Homer's neighbor says, "Go Blue!"

Gregory Gramlich noticed Gerald Ford's Trophy has an "M" on it.  Donny Coyne
   explains why:  Gerald Ford played football for the University of Michigan
   during his college days (prompting Ronald Reagan to remark "Gerry Ford
   played too much football without a helmet", like he's one to talk), so it
   stand to reason that his trophy would have an M on it.  A large block-style
   capital M is (one of)  University of Michigan's insignia(s).


>> For Sale:  Mansion, 3BR, 2BA, no vu

Even a year after it aired, "Homer's Enemy" still generates controversy.  This
   time, the debate was about how nice a home Homer has, and the Simpsons'
   general financial status.


Anthony Regina thought Homer was living pretty large:  You see for years and
   years I have tried to figure out why  OFF is always complaining about their
   money problems when I personally always thought that the house that they
   lived in was EXTREMELY large and elegant for what Homer has hinted at
   making at SNPP.  To me when Frank Grimes said that Homer lives in a palace
   and eats lobsters for dinner, (which by the way DID happen before remember
   Marge's flashback in "Marge in Chains (9F20)"?)  and 2 cars, I
   wholeheartedly agreed with him.  I mean in reality OFF probably would be
   living in a one bedroom apartment below a bowling alley and above another
   bowling alley. And people who claim that OFF's house actually looks pretty
   s----y should really look again because personally I have seen houses that
   look much worse that are owned by people with MUCH more money.


Michael K. Neylon:  The OFF household is a typical suburban 4-bedroom, 2bath
   (2.5?) home, which in most ~Midwestern suburbs will cost you ~$100k -
   $150k. This type of house, in many suburban areas, would now be considered
   squalid by comparison to new homes being built.  These are usually homes
   owned by the middle to lower middle class families, so they should be
   affordable on Homer's salary.

   [We] have had several episodes of OFF that dealt with the family trying
   and/or failing to make ends meet, such that they have to cut out the luxury
   parts of their life.  This would imply that Homer's salary would be enough
   to cover all basic payments and utilities they need to pay, but not enough
   to afford them things like cable, the ability to eat out often, and buying
   new furniture.  I personally can relate to that, as I am sure that most
   others on this group could, so to this extent, I do feel pity for the OFF
   household when they can't make ends meet.


Paul Tomko adds:  Most of the lower middle class people in my area live in
   either really dumpy condos, or really dumpy townhouses, or really dumpy
   flats.  I would guess that the Simpsons house, if it were for sale in my
   neighborhood, would probably go for $200 - $300k.  For $100 - $150k, you
   get for example, my house (which I got for a real steal).  It has 3 small
   bedrooms, 1.5 bathrooms, and no basement.  And their house is exactly like
   most of the houses currently being built in the area, for around $300k.
   Yes, there are also some houses that are nicer going up around here, with 3
   car garages and large yards, but they are starting to hit the $400k and up
   range.  Oh, and I don't live in a particularly affluent area.

   It is true that Homer is known for never getting a break, for always having
   large sums of money slip through his fingers, but all that aside, he is a
   bumbling fool, who in real life, should be a lot less affluent than he is.
   His house is far from a dump.  It is a two story, four bedroom house with a
   two car garage.  Those aren't cheap!  Plus he has two cars and enough money
   to raise three kids.  Grimey is right, Homer is extremely lucky.  Despite
   all of the bad things that happen to him he still manages to be upper
   middle class.


Ondre Lombard:  I think it might've been a better house when they bought it in
   1984, but now, it's a mediocre dwelling.  (Compare the Simpsons house to
   the one they moved to when Homer got that job in Cypress Creek.  It was
   much more modern and representative of a High On the Hog house.)


Michael K. Neylon takes the opportunity to comment on Grimes' personality:
   Yes, he envied the Simpsons so-called richness (based on his single
   exposure to it), but I think we can only imply that Frank wasn't one to
   toss money away for luxuries.  This does NOT mean that he was broke or
   trying to make ends meet;  more likely, his character represent the
   strongly motivated single Gen X-er that works and works and works to make
   money which is immediately set aside for savings, and has no time, money,
   or other resources to enjoy the finer life, because of their motivation.
   The only major difference in Grimes case is that his childhood was
   parentless, and he had to grow up physically and socially all by himself.
   So while I can feel some pity for this backstory, the adult character of
   Frank Grimes reminds me of people that work too hard, stresses themselves
   out, and not taking the small amount of time to *enjoy* themselves.


Ondre Lombard takes the opportunity to respond:  More seriously, I think that
   realistically it's difficult for a person to enjoy themselves when they
   really don't know how.  If a person lives the tragic life that Frank Grimes
   was depicted to have, you would be a bit more uncontrollably bitter and
   unable to learn how to enjoy yourself and think about the bright side.
   Even the most stressed out worker can find some quality time in life as
   long as they have an underlying fun-loving side that knows there's more to
   life than work and duty.


>> Another reason America is the best country on earth

Donald Martin reports that in censors in the Great White North zapped the
   scene where Frank Grimes meets his maker.  "All we got was a buzzing sound
   and a scene of Grimey's shocked co-workers," he reports.  Of course, in
   America they did only show him for a split second, so I wouldn't get =too=
   jealous.


>> Death becomes you.  Or does it?

Speaking of the electrocution scene, that scene sparked considerable debate on
   the <alt.tv.simpsons> newsgroup.  Did "Homer's Enemy" go too far?  Read
   on...


Count Ondre Lombard in the "goes too far" camp:  The ending shot holes
   throughout the entire thing.  The writers really shouldn't bother with
   death unless they intend on making it serious business, because death IS
   serious business, and is not a joke.  After all, after you've made light of
   death, there IS no line that won't be crossed.


brewingt@ij.net asks:  Yes, death is serious, but can't it *also* be a joke?
   The more serious the topic, the more funny the joke!  And what's wrong with
   crossing lines?  That is what humor is all about!  Anytime you make someone
   laugh, it is because you crossed a line.  Death is just another line...


In response, Ondre Lombard wrote:  Death can be funny, but usually if the joke
   is against someone who deserved it.  For instance, if some guy decided to
   just be a pain in the butt to the Simpsons for no good reason, and just to
   be evil (very loose example, but the general idea is this person is a
   complete asshole), and he ended up dead, and Homer slept through his
   funeral and made a joke during it, I might not laugh, but at least I
   wouldn't be disgusted.  Some may say Frank deserved what he got because he
   tried to make an ass out of Homer, but regardless of what he did, no one
   brought out any emotion out of him other than anger, so I can't really say
   he deserved to die.  And on that note, I cannot find that type of black
   humor to be funny.

   As for crossing lines, _naturally_ there is usually a line to be crossed.
   But there is a limit to everything.  You can get into a fist fight with
   someone, but you can't kill them.  Same applies to comedy.  Stooping to
   levels to make humor is what we call a desperate attempt to draw a cheap
   laugh.


Brian E. Clark observes:  Until a person has developed the personality to
   appreciate the potential for humor, even in personal tragedy, he will
   always be something of a prude.  The term "dark humor" exists for reason,
   y'know.

   Go ahead and laugh at death.  It certainly laughs at you.


Meanwhile, Rob Merritt theorizes why Grimes' death was so upsetting for some
   people:  I think the problem is that many people are sympathetic with Frank
   Grimes' plight.  You work and work and work and never get anywhere and some
   lazy bum gets promoted over you.  [See Adam Cadre's comment on the work
   ethic, below -- Ed.]  However the humor isn't from his plight but his
   manner.  Frank Grimes is an a-----e! While unfortunate that he has a hard
   life, he is also green with envy and filled with hate.  So for the most
   part he deserved everything he got and then some.


Ondre Lombard defends the late Mr. Grimes:  Frank was not originally filled
   with hate.  The episode, for one thing, never took the opportunity to show
   Frank's good side, especially since, for the most part, Homer was being the
   _real_ a-----e to Frank.  He made a mess of his desk, ate parts of his
   lunch (then threw the rest back in his bag), nearly drank acid and when
   Frank saved HOMER'S life, Frank got chewed out for it, and nearly lost his
   job.  And, Frank was very bitter and "filled with hate" because he saw that
   his life has been an endless struggle while Homer has been coasting through
   life, only living comfortably because of luck.

   Frank did nothing to Homer, except in the end, if only because he thought
   that Power Plant-building contest would be the only way to prove in broad
   daylight that Homer IS in fact an idiot.  ("An idiot" meaning in the
   story's context.  IMO, the "Homer" we see in this episode is not the Homer
   I've known for the past 7 years.  He'd know better than to be such a
   retarded buffoon.)


Michael K. Neylon echoed the feelings of many when he felt that Homer was way
   too annoying:  Homer is NOT, I repeat, NOT a buffoon.  As his character has
   been developed over the last 8 years, Homer is a caring family man, not
   necessarily the brightest or wittiest person on the planet, but he
   certainly isn't looking around for a brain.  He's someone self-centered,
   putting his needs above everyone else's, but when the time comes down to
   it, he's there to help out.

   "Homer's Enemy" has someone that looked like Homer, that sounded like
   Homer, but certainly didn't act like Homer.  Homer would never be that dumb
   or idiotic, nor uncaring about a co-worker.  He would have seen that Grimes
   had something against him, and he certainly wouldn't have stuck to Grimes
   like glue like he did.  The Homer we know would never fall asleep at a
   funeral (at church, maybe, but certainly not at a funeral.)


A few people had a different angle on the question of what this episode meant.
   Jacob Stohler writes:  This episode was clearly the writers' way of
   admitting that they realize how absurd their characters' lives really are.
   Grimey reacts just as any of us would if we met such a person as Homer in
   real life -- appalled. If his behavior seemed odd, it's probably because it
   was so realistic. And if Bart's purchase of a factory seemed too bizarre, I
   would guess that the writers' did that on purpose to accentuate the lunacy
   of everyday Simpsons life.  In fact, I'm kind of surprised they didn't
   throw in a musical number just so Grimey could stand there disbelieving
   that everyone could spontaneously break into song.

   [Now it can be told -- Years after this episode aired, Dave Hall wrote,
   "Ole' Grimes was intended to be a one-shot deal.  From what I can remember
   from what an inside source told me, Grimes was meant to represent a 'real'
   person from our universe, that is thrusted in to the Simpsons universe.
   The premise was to show that a 'real person' couldn't survive in the
   Simpsons universe."]


Adam Cadre comments:  I liked the episode precisely =because= it skewered one
   of the sacred two-headed cows of American culture: that hard work is
   somehow intrinsically good.  It isn't.  The work ethic is a particularly
   insidious bit of ideology -- it gets people to do things they wouldn't
   otherwise want to do (like spend 40 hours a week working a thankless job)
   without those who actually =benefit= from the work (like, say, C.
   Montgomery Burns) having to spend any effort forcing them to.  It's self-
   directed violence that perpetuates the power structure.


Lee Salem had this interesting point:  I think that one of the overlooked
   points of this episode is what is referred to in some psychiatric circles
   as "accepted behavior."  In other words, people in a given work environment
   eventually come to accept as *normal* behavior from one person that would
   be regarded as extraordinary if it came from a different person.

   For example, years ago I worked for a company in which one of the top
   executives (Caucasian) was constantly hitting on the black female
   administrative employees (also, he was married to a black woman at the
   time).  It was not uncommon of him to hang around chatting up the black
   females in my department for as long as 45 minutes at a time, which,
   needless to say, was a waste of his productive time and theirs.  Although
   this occurred in an era before sexual harassment was a common accusation in
   the workplace, I often marveled at how he could get away with such behavior
   without reprimand.  Someone then explained to me this phenomenon of
   "accepted behavior."  He had been doing it for so long that nobody thought
   it was strange.

   Similarly, Homer's co-workers and even his employer have come to accept
   Homer's denseness, incompetence, and humorous antics as Homer's "normal"
   behavior.  Therefore, when an outsider (Grimes) came in and found this
   situation unbelievable and unacceptable, everyone thought HE was the one
   with the problem, not Homer.  Thus, the tag line at the end, "That's our
   Homer!"  THEY accepted Homer for what he was, not what Grimes thought he
   should be.


Adam Long writes:  One thing I noticed that everyone who commented overlooked
   was that Frank Grimes killed himself!  He got so wrapped up in his rage
   against Homer that he killed himself making fun of him right in front of
   him and his boss! Grimey was too adamant in his belief of Homer's
   buffoonery that he never even gave him a chance.  Homer tried pretty hard
   to make friends with him but he never opened up.  Even when Homer was
   acting professional Grimes didn't give him a chance.  And all the bad
   things Homer did to Grimes were honest mistakes.  Grimey was just an
   unlucky guy.  I'm sure when Swartzwelder wrote this episode he knew that
   many people would criticize Grimes' death, so he made his character a jerk.
   I personally was rooting for Homer the whole episode.

   As for the death issue this is what I think:  Why fear death?  That's just
   what it wants us to do!  We think it's like some kind of obligation to drag
   out everyone's life to the last possible second as if there were no
   afterlife, like Earth is all we get.  The absurdity of this can be found in
   this season's (season 10) episode "Homer Simpson in: Kidney Trouble" when
   Marge says, "You've shortened your life significantly so someone else can
   have a a slight extension of theirs." (Coincidentally, also a Swartzwelder
   episode)  Sure death can be tragic in REAL life but with a completely
   FICTIONAL character like Frank Grimes it's okay to laugh at death.  Why
   look at the dark side of everything?

   And as for crossing lines, well, isn't that what The Simpsons is all about?


[Myself, I think of the episode as a parable about revenge.  Grimes could have
   let things slide between himself and Homer, but instead he focused on
   showing him up.  This obsession finally did him in -- Ed.]


Elisabeth Orr reminds us of this quotation, which seems apropos:  It's like
   Mel Brooks said; "tragedy is when I stub my toe, comedy is when you walk
   into a sewer and die."  This philosophy explains why "Homer's Enemy" is
   funny, as well as the appeal of "America's Funniest Home videos" to certain
   degenerates.


[And with that, I think I'll declare this debate closed -- Ed.]


>> Oh, Frank WEL-ker!

Some people wondered who the "Frank Welker" they saw in the credits was.  Matt
   Hjamler explains:  Actually, while you may have never heard _of_ Frank
   Welker, you have definitely heard him.  He has been a very prominent voice
   actor since the late 60's, when he was the voice of Fred on Scooby-Doo.
   Frequently you'll find him voicing either supervillian-types like Megatron
   or Dr. Claw, or most often doing animal sound effects, like SLH or that dog
   on Animaniacs.  Welker probably has more voice acting experience than the
   entire cast of The Simpsons (not counting Tress MacNeille).


>> Work in progress

Score!  Roger Smith attended a table read for this episode, and brings us some
   insight into the creative process:  The table read for "Homer's Enemy"
   (4F19) was on October 3 of last year.

   At a table read, the actors sit around a large conference table and read
   through the script from start to finish.  The reading is tape recorded so
   that the writers can gauge how well the humor works, so the animators can
   begin to sketch out key frames, and so the director can judge the timing of
   the episode.

   I thought it might be interesting to see how the script at that time
   differs from what aired.

   I'm not going to point out slight changes in lines - most of the actors
   change few words to match the characters better.  For example, although the
   script uses contractions ("it's," "we're," etc.) in a lot of Grimes' lines,
   Hank Azaria says "it is," "we are," etc.

   Act One

   Cut Line:  After Burns says "That's the kind of man I need ... a self-made
   man like me" the table read included Smithers' reply "You're not exactly
   'self-made' sir.  You inherited 200 million dollars from you father."
   Burns glares at him and Smithers continues, "Not that that is an easy thing
   to do!"

   Cut Lines:  After Grimes meets Homer, Lenny, and Carl, Carl says "Okay, see
   you around.  I think we're going to be good, good friends" and Grimes
   replies, "Well, I'll do my job and you do yours.  That's why we're here."

   Changed Line:  Marge's first line in the show is "'Marge' is taken?  How
   about 'Marjorie'?"  During the table read it ended with "How about
   'Margaret'?"

   Added Lines:  A few lines were added to the auction scene after the
   reading.  The table read didn't include "Our next lot is ..." or the
   auctioneer doing the auctioneer bit after Bart bids a buck.

   Cut Scene:  After Grimes catches Homer abusing his pencils, Grimes is seen
   running to an elevator yelling "Hold that elevator."  Homer is the only one
   in the elevator - he waves his hands ineffectually -  and the doors close.
   After a beat, the other elevator doors open and Homer is in it.  He waves
   his hands again - and the doors close.

   Cut Scene:  After the elevator bit, Grimes is working at his computer
   trying to ignore a thudding against the wall.  He covers his ears with his
   hands and types with his elbows.  Cut to Homer's office and we see Homer
   playing with a radio controlled "Duff Beer" truck which he keeps running
   into the wall.

   Changed Order:  After the above Grimes/Homer scenes the story during the
   table read continued in Grime's office.  The episode jumps to Bart's
   factory.

   Changed Scene:  The bit with the chair and fire extinguisher wasn't in the
   story during the table read.  Instead Bart tips over a barrel of industrial
   waste and says "Now I know the pride of ownership!"  He sees a sign on a
   door that says "President" = "That must be me" - and he runs into the
   office.  In the office he finds a jar filled with 118 pennies.  "$1,18 -
   this company pays for itself!"  It is after this that he sees Milhouse out
   the window.

   Deleted Line:  During the table read, after Grimes says that he saw Homer
   hanging from a coat hook, Carl says "That's our Homer".

   Deleted Line:  During the table read, Grimes said "My God!  That
   irresponsible oaf?"  "My God!" was dropped from the broadcast.

   Added Line:  A really funny line was added after the read.  When an angry
   Burns tells Grimes to "Come with me."  Homer says "He likes you."

   Added Line:  Another funny line was added right at the end of Act One.
   After Grimes announces "we are enemies", Homer asks "Do I have to do
   anything?"

   Act Two

   Deleted Lines:  The dining room scene began with Homer fretting, "Let's see
   ... best dishes best clothes, is this the best furniture we've got?"  He
   looks at his watch and says "Oh, it'll have to do."  Marge reassures him
   "Homer, stop fretting.  The evening is going to go fine."

   Changed Line:  During the table read Marge says "I only have six lobsters."
   Some one must have realized that Lisa doesn't eat lobster and changed it to
   "five lobsters".  [Let's check that guest list again:   Homer, Grimes,
   Marge, Bart, and ... Maggie?  Hmm, I guess Homer eats lobsters in pairs --
   Ed.]

   Added Line:  When Homer introduces "my daughter, Lisa -- IQ 156", Lisa says
   "Hi" and Homer goes "See."

   Changed Line:  Grimes says "You went into space.  You?"  During the read,
   Homer replied "Yeah.  I went up with some guy named Buzz ... uhh ...
   Aldrich ... son" to which Grimes replies "Figures.  It figures."

   Deleted Scene:  Homer and Marge in bed, Home is saying "He's right.  I am a
   fraud."  The scene continues with Marge trying to cheer Homer up. Finally
   Homer asks "Why did you marry me?"  and Marge replies "well, you were a
   nice man and you got me pregnant.  What other man could have done that?"
   "Any man on that miniature golf course," Homer answers, "I was just in the
   right place at the right time."

   Deleted Scene:  Bart and Milhouse show the factory to Grampa.  "What did
   they make here, Grampa?"  Grampa sees something run across the floor,
   "Rats!?"  Milhouse says "Rats, no wonder they went out of business,"

   Deleted Scene:  Bart and Milhouse are cutting off pieces of Bart's desk.
   Principal Skinner knocks at the door carrying a "help wanted" sign.  Bart
   offers him a part-time job at half of minimum wage.  "Hmm .. I guess it
   wouldn't hurt to take an application" Skinner says.  After Skinner leaves
   Bart says "He strikes me as a go-getter.  What do you think?"  Milhouse
   says "I don't know ... he seemed a little too eager."

   Deleted Lines:  At the beginning of the scene where Homer is acting
   professional, Carl comes in and asks "What's the gag, Homer?" to which
   Homer replies "Implement safety procedures.  Strive for zero defects. Think
   safety," Lenny:  "Whatever you say Homer."

   Added Scene:  At the end of act two - Homer backing into Grimes' car.

   Act Three

   Deleted Scene:  Bart and Milhouse are throwing light bulbs into the gears
   of a machine.  Bart runs out of bulbs then turns to Milhouse and says "Hey,
   Van Houten, I don't pay you to goof off!  get back to work." This leads to
   Milhouse becoming the night watchman.

   Added Scene:  The coffee machine bit wasn't in the story during the table
   read.

   Changed Scene:  The "I wonder where the rats will go," bit wasn't in the
   story at the table read,  Instead Milhouse asks "What should we do now,
   Bart?  Run?"  To which Bart replies "Yes."  They run into Principal Skinner
   who says "I decided to take that part-time job."  He then looks at the
   factory and says "The old girl looks somehow different today." Bart tells
   him the factory is for sale and sells it to Skinner for $6. "Need a good
   night watchman?"  Milhouse asks.

   Added Line:  "Ralphie, get off the stage, sweetheart" was added after the
   table read.

   Changed Line:  After Grimes' goes whacko, he says "I'm the worst worker in
   the world.  Give me a raise so I can buy another house".  The line is
   changed to "I'm the worst worker in the world.  Time to go home and eat
   lobster."

   Changed Lines:  Rev. Lovejoy's eulogy changed after the table read.  At the
   table read he said "And if there is a heaven, we can all take comfort ...."


>> Miscellaneous, Etc.

The Haynes Lee alterna-title for this show is:  Take This Job And Shove It!


Joe Klemm:  During the Nixon administration, especially the Watergate scandal,
   Tricky Dick [Richard Nixon] had a list of enemies that he had.  A list of
   some of the members of the list can be found in the original Book of Lists.


==============================================================================
> Quotes and Scene Summary  {bjr}
==============================================================================
% It's time for the evening news, Brockman-style.

Brockman: ... means death for us all.  And now, "Kent's People!"
          Tonight's inspiring story is about Frank Grimes, a thirty-
          five-year-old Springfieldite who has earned everything the
          hard way, but never let adversity get him down.

          [the footage shifts to grainy footage of Grimes as a boy]

          Abandoned by his parents at age four, Frank never got to go
          to school.
          [we see Frank through the rear window of a car.  He recedes
          into the distance as the car drives off.  A hand waves,
          "goodbye"]
          [cut to a still black-and-white photo of young Grimes in a
          delivery uniform]
          He spent his childhood years as a delivery boy, delivering
          toys to more fortunate children.
          [another picture, this one of Grimes handing a package to a
          boy.  A tuxedo-wearing man stands in the doorway]
          Then, on his eighteenth birthday, he was blown up in a silo
          explosion.
          [cut to a far shot of a Grimed running into a silo, which
          goes ka-boom]
          [Grimes rests on a hospital bed, in traction and plastered
          from head to toe in bandages] During his long recuperation he
          taught himself to hear and feel pain again.
          [black-and-white shot of Grimes at his desk, surrounded by
          textbooks]
          As the years passed, he used his few leisure moments each day
          to study science by mail.  And, last week, Frank Grimes, the
          man who had to struggle for everything he ever got, received
          his correspondence school diploma in nuclear physics -- with
          a minor in determination.
          [a postman hands Grimes his diploma.  Grimes holds it
          triumphantly in the air, where an eagle tries to fly off with
          it.  Grimes fights him off]
-- Are you inspired yet?  "Homer's Enemy"

% One of the people watching "Kent's People" that night is Mr. Burns.
% Impressed by Grimes' determination, he orders Smithers to recruit him
% as an executive vice president.  Smithers reluctantly does so.
%
% The next day, Smithers introduces Burns to his newest employee, but
% it looks as though Mr. Burns is still watching "Kent's People."

Burns:    Smithers, I've just seen the most heroic dog on television.
          He pulled a toddler from the path of a speeding car, then
          pushed a criminal in front of it.  Find this dog.  I want to
          make him my executive vice president.
Smithers: Uh, yes sir.  In the meantime, here's Frank Grimes.
          [Grimes offers his hand, but Burns just stares blankly]
          The, the self-made man?
Burns:    What?  Oh, yes, that fellow.  Mmmm, put him somewhere out of
          the way, and find that dog!
Smithers: Yes sir.  [leaves, taking Grimes with him]
-- How quickly they forget, "Homer's Enemy"

% There's no place farther out of the way than sector 7-G.  Homer is
% busy spinning around in his swivel chair when Lenny and Carl walk in,
% suggesting they welcome the new guy.  Dizzy, Homer faintly protests
% the idea, but the three men form a welcome wagon.
%
% In his office, Grimes methodically arranges his belongings.  Homer,
% Lenny, and Carl press their faces against the office window before
% walking in to say hi.

Carl:     You new?
Grimes:   Yes.  My name is Frank Grimes.
Lenny:    I'm Lenny.  This is Carl and Homer.  I'm Lenny.
Grimes:   How do you do.
Homer:    [picks up one of Grimes' pencils, spilling the rest onto his
          desk]  Wow, you've got pencils with your name on them -- just
          like a pencil company executive.  I'd give anything for one
          of these.
Grimes:   [tugs the pencil back out of Homer's hand]  Any office supply
          company can have them made up for you.
Homer:    Can I have this one?  [tries to tug it back]
Grimes:   No.
Homer:    Can [thinks] Lenny have it?  [tries it again]
Grimes:   No.
-- Are you sure you want to work here?  "Homer's Enemy"

% Lenny and Carl look at Grimes' correspondence-school diploma.

Grimes:   Oh, that's my degree in nuclear physics.  I'm sure you all
          have one.
Lenny:    Oh yeah, Carl and I each have a masters'.  [chuckles] Of
          course, old Homer, he didn't need a degree.  He just showed
          up the day they opened the plant.
Homer:    I didn't even know what a nuclear panner plant was.
Grimes:   Um, [forced laugh] yeah.  Well, listen, I'm sure, you all
          have a lot of work to do.
Lenny +
  Carl:   [shrug] Eh.  [the two leave]
          [Grimes turns around, and is startled to see that Homer is
          still there]
Homer:    Hey, you seem like a great guy, so I'll give you a little
          tip.  If you turn that security camera around, you can sleep
          and no one will ever know.
Grimes:   eh, I don't think we're being paid to sleep.
Homer:    Oh yeah, they're always trying to screw ya.  [leaves]
Grimes:   [shudders in amazement]
-- The secret of my success, "Homer's Enemy"

% While Homer helps Grimes settle into his new job, Marge is at the DMV
% office, hoping to get a vanity license plate.  Unfortunately for her,
% "MARGE" is already taken.  So is "MARJORIE".  And "MITSY".  The clerk
% offers "NITSY", and Marge considers it.  Bart had been waiting
% patiently, but decides he's had enough and sets off to find something
% more interesting.
%
% He finds the tax seizures room, where the city is auctioning off
% property.  The auctioneer solicits bids for item 751, but there aren't
% any takers.  Bart bids one dollar -- and wins.  Only after his victory
% does Bart think to ask what he has won.  The auctioneer hands over a
% deed, and says that Bart is now the proud owner of 35 Industry Way.
%
% Bart goes to survey his new property, which turns out to be a
% dilapidated factory.  Impressed, Bart says, "Looks like my years of
% hard work have finally paid off."
%
% At lunch, Homer continues to unwittingly bedevil Grimes.

Homer:    [to Grimes, who's walking by]  Hiya Stretch, what's the good
          word?
Grimes:   My name is "Grimes," uh, Simpson, Frank Grimes.  I took the
          trouble to learn your name, so the least you could do is
          learn mine.
Homer:    Okay, Grimey.
-- Should've quit while you were ahead, Grimey, "Homer's Enemy"

% Grimes points out that Homer has taken his special dietetic lunch.
% Embarrassed, Homer apologizes but takes a few more bites before
% handing it back to Grimes.  Grimes tosses the remainder in the trash
% and walks away.  Homer goes to retrieve it, but backs off and tries to
% look innocent when Grimes turns around to look.
%
% Things don't look up for Grimes when he returns to the office.  He
% follows a trail of chewed pencils to Homer's work station, where Homer
% is using one to clean his ears.  Grimes huffily returns to his office.
%
% Meanwhile, Bart continues to look over his factory.  Inside, the
% building is empty except for Bart, some rats, and assorted building
% debris.  "It's filthy," he sums up proudly, "and it's mine."  Picking
% a bolt up off the floor, Bart sees how far he can throw it.  It lands
% on the other side of the building and makes an echo that emphasizes
% how empty the place is.  Looking around, Bart sees an old wooden
% swivel chair, and a fire extinguisher.  He wheels the chair into
% position, sits down, and uses the fire extinguisher to jet-propel
% himself across the factory floor and into the wall.
%
% At work, Homer propels himself into Grimes' office.

Homer:    So, how's it going, Grimey?
Grimes:   I'd appreciate it if you'd stay out of my office, Simpson.
Homer:    [laughs]  Wish I had a nickel every time I heard that.
          [walks around idly, making annoying sounds]
          [off key]  Take me out to the ball-game, take me out to the
          ballll ...
          So, what's new, Grimey?
          [alarms blare and red lights go on at Homer's work station]
Grimes:   Simpson, you've got a 513.
          [Homer looks at his watch]
Grimes:   No, a 513.  In your procedures manual -- a 513?
          {Homer looks at his watch again]
Grimes:   [points] Look at your control panel.
Homer:    [looks] Oh, a five THIR-teen.  I'll handle it.
          [calmly walks next door, takes a bucket of water and pours it
          on the console.  This shorts it out and silences the alarms]
          That got it.
          [Grimes looks through the window, aghast]
-- "Homer's Enemy"

% At the =other= Simpson workplace, "President" Bart gazes out his
% office window.  Milhouse strolls by.

Bart:     [leaning out the window]  Hey, Milhouse!  You want a job in
          my factory?
Milhouse: You don't a have a factory.
Bart:     Hey, I'm a busy man.  You want a job or not?
Milhouse: Okay!  [runs up to join Bart]
-- "Homer's Enemy"

% Break time!  Homer tries to set the world indoor speed-eating record.
% Grimes looks on, disapprovingly.

Grimes:   God, he eats like a pig.
Lenny:    I dunno.  Pigs tend to chew.  I'd say he eats more like a
          duck.
Grimes:   Well, some kind of farm animal anyway.  And earlier today, I
          saw him asleep inside a radiation suit.  Can you imagine that
          he, he was hanging from a coat hook.
Lenny:    He had three beers at lunch.  That would make anybody sleepy.
Grimey:   I've never seen him do any work around here ... what, what is
          his job?
Lenny:    Safety inspector.
Grimes:   That irresponsible oaf?  A man who by all rights should have
          been killed dozens of times by now?
Lenny:    Three hundred and sixteen times by my count.
Grimes:   That's the man who's in charge of our safety.  It, it boggles
          the mind.
Carl:     It's best not to think about it.
-- Good advice, "Homer's Enemy"

% Homer gropes for a drink, but his hand lands instead on a beaker of
% sulfuric acid.  Oblivious, he raises the beaker to his lips, but
% Grimes knocks it away just in time.  The flying acid spills onto the
% wall, which immediately dissolves.  Burns and his canine executive
% vice president walk by, and the old man can't help but notice the
% break room has some extra ventilation.
%
% Burns summons Grimes to his office, and (with some assistance from
% the dog) berates his worker for destroying the valuable wall, and
% spilling the priceless acid.  He puts Grimes on notice (at a reduced
% salary) -- get his act together, or else.
%
% Grimes confronts Homer at his work station.

Homer:    Hi, Grimey old buddy.
Grimes:   I'm not your buddy, Simpson.  I don't like you.  In fact, I
          hate you!  Stay the hell away from me, because from now on,
          we're enemies!  [turns to leave]
Homer:    Okay.  Do I have to do anything?
-- And that's how he became ... "Homer's Enemy"

% [End of Act One.  Time:  8:51]
%
% Homer stops at Moe's Tavern to lament his newfound enmity with
% Grimes.

Homer:    Oh, I can't believe it, I got an enemy.  Me the most beloved
          man in Springfield.
Moe:      Ah, it's a weird world, Homer.  As hard as it is to believe,
          some people don't care for me, neither.
Homer:    No, I won't accept that.
Moe:      No, it's true.  I got their names written down right here on
          what I call my, uh, "enemies list."  [reaches under the bar
          for a sheet of paper]
Barney:   [takes list and reads it]  Jane Fonda, Daniel Shore, Jack
          Anderson ... Hey!  This is Richard Nixon's enemies list.  You
          just crossed out his name and put yours.
Moe:      Okay, gimmie that, gimmie it back.  [takes list]
          [writes] Barney Gumble.
Barney:   Oh.
-- "Moe's Enemy," uh, I mean, "Homer's Enemy"

% Homer still isn't closer to solving his problem, though.

Homer:    Oh, what am I going to do?
Moe:      Uh, why don't you invite him over.  Turn him from an enemy to
          a friend.  Then when he's not expecting it -- bam! -- the ol'
          fork in the eye.
Homer:    Do you think it might work without the fork in the eye?
Moe:      There's always a first time.
-- How to win friends and influence people, "Homer's Enemy"

% Before the big forkless dinner, the family gets some last-minute
% coaching from Homer.  Everyone is asked to be perfect -- Lisa, Marge,
% Bart, and the "other kid."  Marge worries that she'll have enough
% lobsters handy in the event Grimes brings a friend.  There shouldn't
% be a problem, her husband assures, since he made up an excuse to bring
% Grimes to the Simpson house.
%
% The doorbell rings.  Marge calms Homer down, and he answers the door.
% Grimes has arrived right on cue.  His suit is rumpled, and it looks
% like he has put in another weary day on the job.

Homer:    Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I
          call it.
Grimes:   Yeah, what did you want to see me about, Simpson?  This
          better be important.
Homer:    It is, it is, but first, let me introduce you to my family,
          my perfect family.  This is my wife Marge...
Marge:    Hello.
Homer:    ... and our beautiful baby ...
Maggie:   [sucks pacifier]
Homer:    ... my daughter Lisa, I. Q. 156 ...
Lisa:     [curtsies] Hi.
Homer:    See?  And my son Bart; [Bart winks] he owns a factory
          downtown.
Grimes:   How do you do.  Uh, look Homer, I'm, I'm late for my night
          job at the foundry so if you don't mind telling m--
          [trails off as he looks around the casa de Simpson.  The
          camera momentarily shifts to Grime's point of view and gives
          us a 360-degree look at the family's living room]
          Good Heavens!  This is a palace!  H-How can, how in the world
          can you afford to live in a house like this, Simpson?
Homer:    I dunno.  Don't as me how the economy works.
Grimes:   Yeah, but look at the size of this place!  I -- I live in a
          single room above a bowling alley and below another bowling
          alley.
Homer:    Wow.
Grimes:   [notices some pictures on the wall]  I'm sorry, isn't
          that ...
Homer:    Yes, that's me, and the guy standing next to me is President
          Gerald Ford.
          [gestures to other photos]
          And this is when I was on tour with the Smashing Pumpkins.
          Oh!  And here's a picture of me in outer space.
Grimes:   You?  Went into outer space?  You?
Homer:    Sure.  You've never been?  Would you like to see my Grammy
          award?  [holds up award]
Grimes:   No!  I wouldn't!
          God, I've had to work hard every day of my life, and what do
          I have to show for it?  This briefcase and this haircut!  And
          what do you have to show for your lifetime of sloth and
          ignorance?
Homer:    What?
Grimes:   Everything!  A dream house!  Two cars!  A beautiful wife!  A
          son who owns a factory!  Fancy clothes and [sniffs air]
          lobsters for dinner.  And do you deserve any of it?  No!
Homer:    [gasps] What are you saying?
Grimes:   I'm saying you're what's wrong with America, Simpson.  You
          coast through life, you do as little as possible, and you
          leech off of decent, hardworking people like me.  Heh, if you
          lived in any other country in the world, you'd have starved
          to death long ago.
Bart:     He's got you there, dad.
Grimes:   You're a fraud.  A total fraud.  [leaves]
          [pokes his head in the door]
          [to Marge and the kids] It was nice meeting you.
          [leaves again, slamming the front door]
-- A fork in the eye would have been an improvement, "Homer's Enemy"

% The next day, Bart and Milhouse have a meeting at the factory to
% discuss what to do with some adding machines and industrial waste that
% they found.  "I believe we both know the answer to that," says Bart.
% In case you didn't know the answer:  The boys dump the machines into a
% barrel full of waste, and watch them dissolve.
%
% Later Milhouse mops the floor.  He pauses to wipe his brow, but Bart
% taps on his office window and tells Milhouse to get back to work.
%
% A rickety staircase becomes a fun "wacky shack" when the boys stand
% on top and start rocking it.  Milhouse questions the wisdom of this,
% pointing out signs that say the staircase isn't safe to use.  Bart
% takes the signs down and throws them out the window.  This solves the
% problem to everyone's satisfaction.  Good thing OSHA isn't around.
%
% Marge walks around the front of the house and finds Homer isn't
% having as good a day at =his= job.  In fact, he's still sitting in his
% car, in his driveway.  Marge taps on the window.

Marge:    Homer [knocks again] Homer, why aren't you at work?
Homer:    The car won't start.  I don't feel very good today.  I am at
          work.
Marge:    You're afraid to go to work because Frank Grimes will be
          there, aren't you?
Homer:    That's crazy talk.  You're crazy, Marge.  Get off the road!
          [honks horn]
Marge:    [gets in the car] You have to face him sometime, and when you
          do I'm sure he'll be just as anxious to make up as you are.
Homer:    No he won't, he hates me.
Marge:    He doesn't hate you.  He just feels insecure because you're
          getting through life so easily, and it's been so difficult
          for him.
Homer:    Yeah, yeah, that's his problem, he's a nut!  It's not about
          me being lazy, it's about him being a crazy nut.
Marge:    Well ... maybe.  But I bet he would be less crazy if you were
          just a little more, mmm, professional in your work.
Homer:    [gasps]
Marge:    Just a little more.  Then he won't have any reason to resent
          you.
Homer:    I'll do it!  [produces a bottle of that wonderful Duff] To
          professionalism!  [drinks up]
-- "Homer's Enemy"

% Homer's new professional attitude has him eating donuts at the
% console, but this time with a knife and fork.  On his wall hangs a
% motivational poster ("Mr. Good Employee").  When Grimes walks in,
% Homer suggests they discuss his new work habits "during the designated
% break period."  Grimes is less than impressed, especially since
% another danger alarm is sounding at Homer's console.
%
% Grimes joins Lenny and Carl in the break room.

Grimes:   Can you believe that guy?  He's in his office making a
          pathetic attempt to look professional.
Carl:     Hey, what do you got against Homer, anyway?
Grimes:   Are you kidding?  Does this whole plant have some disease
          where you can't see that he's an idiot?  Look here.  [points
          out a chart tacked to the bulletin board] Accidents have
          doubled every year since he became safety inspector, and, and
          meltdowns have tripled.  Has he been fired?  No.  Has he been
          disciplined?  No, no.
Lenny:    Eh, everybody makes mistakes.  That's why they put erasers on
          pencils.
Carl:     Yeah, Homer's okay.  Give him a break.
Grimes:   No!  Homer is not okay.  And I want everyone in this plant to
          realize it.  I would die a happy man if I could prove to you
          that Homer Simpson has the intelligence of a six-year-old.
Lenny:    [to Carl]  So, how are you doing?
          [annoyed, Grimes leaves]
-- Be careful what you wish for, "Homer's Enemy"

% As he walks out of the break room, Grimes' attention is drawn to one
% of the other notices on the bulletin board.  This one announces a
% children's model-building contest, with the prize going to the child
% who makes the best model of a futuristic power plant.  Grimes takes
% the notice to his office, where he carefully cuts away all references
% to this being a contest for kids.  (He does this on company time,
% might I add.)  Then he places the notice on Homer's console.  Homer
% sees what remains of the ad, and takes the bait.  Telling Lenny (or
% rather, a picture of Lenny) that he's taking the afternoon off, Homer
% rushes home to work on his model.  Grimes is delighted.  The victory
% is short-lived, though, since Homer backs into Grimes' car on the way
% out.
%
% [End of Act Two.  Time:  16:17]
%
% Frank Grimes may think Homer is a lazy worker, but if he could hear
% Homer working on his model, he might have a change of opinion.  The
% sounds of sawing, hammering, and incoherent cussing from the basement
% suggest an intense project.

Lisa:     Can I go downstairs and see what Dad's doing?
Marge:    I wouldn't bother him, honey.  He's making some sort of model
          for a contest.  He says it's really high-tech stuff that we
          wouldn't understand.
Homer:    [opens basement door] Marge, do we have any elbow macaroni
          and glue-on sparkles?
-- He's right, I don't understand, "Homer's Enemy"

% At "work," Milhouse pounds on a furnace, waiting for quitting time.
% Bart signals the end of the work day with the traditional steam
% whistle, and Milhouse eagerly heads home.  But the boss stops him.

Bart:     Just a minute, van Houten.  Somebody needs to guard this
          place at night so it doesn't get trashed.  [offers a cap and
          baton] How'd you like to be night watchman?
Milhouse: I'm sleepy.
Bart:     Ah, no problemo.  Here's a nickel for the coffee machine.
          [hands a nickel over and leaves]
          [Milhouse deposits the nickel in the machine.  It dispenses a
          cup, then a rat, then some coffee]
Milhouse: [sips from the cup]  So this is my life.  At least I've done
          better than Dad.
-- The scary part is, he's right, "Homer's Enemy"

% The next day, Bart heads back to the factory, only to find a huge
% pile of rubble on the spot.

Bart:     Milhouse, how could you let this happen?  You were supposed
          to be the night watchman.
Milhouse: I was watching.  I saw the whole thing.  First it started
          falling over, then it fell over.
-- "Homer's Enemy"

% Bart wonders where all the now-homeless rats will go.  The rats
% decide to take up residence at Moe's Tavern.
%
% The time arrives for the model contest.  The event fills the power
% plant's auditorium.  Mr. Burns, of course, presides as master of
% ceremonies.

... and the bold new ideas these tiny tykes unveil for us today could
make thousands of jobs like yours -- obsolete!
-- Mr. Burns, "Homer's Enemy"

% The first contestant, Ralph Wiggum, unveils a "power plant" that is
% really just a relabeled Malibu Stacey Dream House.  Smithers likes it,
% but Burns eyes the hot tub and media room and dismisses it.  "It's
% supposed to be a power plant, not Aunt Beaulah's bordello," he says.
% Ralph leaves the stage, with a little prompting from his father.
%
% Martin is next, and he wheels in an impressive lighted model.

Martin:   Behold, the power plant of the future, today!
Burns:    Yuchh.  Too cold and sterile.  Where's the heart?
Martin:   But it really generates power.  It, it's lighting this room
          right now.  [turns a knob, dimming the auditorium lights]
Burns:    You lose -- get off my property.
-- A hard man to impress, "Homer's Enemy"

% Now, it's Homer's turn.  Frank Grimes is in the audience, and tries
% to stir up audience sentiment against his enemy.  He gets shushed for
% his troubles.

Burns:    Could you explain your model, young man?
Grimes:   [from audience] What's to explain?  He's an idiot!
Lenny:    [from audience] Pipe down!
Homer:    Well basically, I just copied the plant we have now.
Burns:    [impressed] Hmmm.
Homer:    Then, I added some fins to lower wind resistance.  [points to
          a stripe on the cooling tower] And this racing stripe here I
          feel is pretty sharp.
Burns:    Agreed.  First prize.  [gives Homer a blue ribbon, and some
          money]
          [cut to audience shot]
Grimes:   [stands up] What?
Carl:     Way to go, Homer!
Lenny:    You're number one, Homer!
Grimes:   But it, it was contest for children!
Lenny:    Yeah.  And Homer beat their brains out!
          [audience cheers wildly]
-- Now that's sportsmanship, "Homer's Enemy"

% This is the last straw.

Grimes:   Oh, I, I can't stand it any longer.  This whole plant is
          insane.  Insane, I tell you!  [snaps mentally]  Daahh!  Aaah!
          [runs out of the auditorium, and into an equipment room]
          I can be lazy too!  [takes his tie off, and moons one of the
          technicians] Look at me, I am a worthless employee, just like
          Homer Simpson!  Give me a promotion!
          [walks into the break room, and grabs two donuts from the
          box]
          Ooh, I eat like a slob, but nobody minds!  [eats in an
          exaggeratedly slobbish fashion]
          [heads into a bathroom]
          [from bathroom]  I'm peeing on the seat.  Give me a raise!
          [emerges from the bathroom and waves his hands in Homer's
          face] Now I'm returning to work without washing my hands.
          But it doesn't matter, because I'm Homer Simpson!
          [runs to Homer's work station and spins around in the chair]
          I don't need to do my work, 'cause someone else will do it
          for me.  D'oh!  D'oh!  D'oh!  [slaps forehead on each
          "D'oh!"]
Homer:    Hey, you okay, Grimey?
Grimes:   I'm better than okay.  I'm Homer Simpson.
Homer:    [chuckles] You wish.
Grimes:   [notices Burns has walked in]  Oh, hi, Mr. Burns.  I'm the
          worst worker in the world.  Time to go home to my mansion and
          eat my lobster.
          [walks up to some dangerous-looking wires]
          What's this?  [reads sign] "Extremely High Voltage."  Well, I
          don't need safety gloves, because I'm Homer Simp--
          [zap]
-- The untimely demise of, "Homer's Enemy"

% Cut to a shot of Grimes' funeral.  (Looks like he did need safety
% gloves, after all.)  Reverend Lovejoy delivers the eulogy in his
% sonorous manner.

Lovejoy:  Frank Grimes, or "Grimey," as he liked to be called, taught
          us that a man can triumph over adversity.  And even though
          Frank's agonizing struggle through life was tragically cut
          short, I'm sure he's looking down on this right now ...
          [Lovejoy's voice fades as the camera pans to a sleeping
          Homer]
Homer:    [in sleep]  Change the channel, Marge.
          [the mourners laugh]
Lenny:    That's our Homer!
-- Funeral for a friend, "Homer's Enemy"

% As the funeral party laughs at Homer's antics, Grimes' casket is
% lowered slowly into the ground.  Rest in peace, Frank.
%
% [End of Act Three.  Time:  21:22]

==============================================================================
> Contributors
==============================================================================
{al}  Austin Luft
{av}  Aaron Varhola
{bjr} Benjamin Robinson
{cj}  Carl Johnson
{dc}  Dave Choe
{ddg} Don Del Grande
{dga} Dale G. Abersold
{dsb} Donni Saphire-Bernstein
{el}  Emily Landau
{hl}  Haynes Lee
{jh}  Jason Hancock
{jv}  Javier Vera
{ljs} Liam J. Scanlan
{mss} Marge Starbrod Simpson
{pe}  Peter Escott
{pjc} P. J. Crooks
{rb}  Rich Bunnell
{rj}  Ryan Johnson
{rv}  Robert Vasquez
{sjo} Sean J. O'Neal

==============================================================================
> Legal Mumbo Jumbo
==============================================================================
This episode capsule is Copyright 1998 Benjamin Robinson.  It is not to be
redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current
maintainer (capsules@snpp.com).  All quoted material and episode summaries
remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox.  All
other contributions remain the properties of their respective authors.  The
transcript itself is Copyright 1998 Benjamin Robinson.  This capsule has been
brought to you by Duff beer.  Incompetent co-workers are getting you down?
That wonderful Duff will help ease the pain!

This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie,
Frederic Briere, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are
today.

Many thanks to Dave Hall and Frederic Briere, who provided me with
alt.tv.simpsons archives when needed.  This capsule wouldn't be nearly as
complete without their invaluable help.